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Subject: "Homophobia has robbed men of touch (link)" Previous topic | Next topic
SoWhat
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154163 posts
Wed Mar-25-15 05:37 PM

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"Homophobia has robbed men of touch (link)"


  

          

http://www.filmsforaction.org/articles/touch-isolation-how-homophobia-has-robbed-all-men-of-touch/

Partial Swipe:

American men, in an attempt to avoid any possible hint of committing unwanted sexual touch, are foregoing gentle platonic touch in their lives. I’ll call it touch isolation. Homophobic social stigmas, the long-standing challenges of rampant sexual abuse, and a society steeped in a generations old puritanical mistrust of physical pleasure have created an isolating trap in which American men can go for days or weeks at a time without touching another human being. The implications of touch isolation for men’s health and happiness are huge.

...it's a great read.

fuck you.

  

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Topic Outline
Subject Author Message Date ID
Totally agree with this
Mar 25th 2015
1
maybe it's where I grew up, but I haven't witnessed this
Mar 25th 2015
91
love this article
Mar 25th 2015
2
The hand holding among men in Ghana is great.
Mar 25th 2015
3
same thing in nairobi
Mar 25th 2015
12
word.
Mar 25th 2015
25
Oh they did it in Accra when I was there
Mar 26th 2015
250
I'll admit the idea of dudes platonically holding hands is so foreign
Mar 25th 2015
5
Read the article and/or stfu.
Mar 25th 2015
6
lol @ and/or
Mar 25th 2015
15
Why you mad?
Mar 25th 2015
51
i dont know that its a correlation
Mar 25th 2015
14
      But are there a lot of homophobic countries that don't have touch
Mar 25th 2015
55
           the article contextualizes it to this society
Mar 25th 2015
66
           *sigh*
Mar 25th 2015
67
           Is this preference specific though?
Mar 25th 2015
117
                dunno. email the author.
Mar 26th 2015
122
           what about non-homophobic countries that don't have touch
Mar 25th 2015
104
YO. That shit threw me off like a MF when I went last year!!!
Mar 26th 2015
251
If it's the peice I think, yes.
Mar 25th 2015
4
I saw it on FB too.
Mar 25th 2015
8
      It makes sense
Mar 25th 2015
18
agree, but tell that to GW Bush
Mar 25th 2015
7
Likely initiated by the Saudi. Lol
Mar 25th 2015
9
Beanie Siegel wept
Mar 25th 2015
10
I think black men are more tactile with their male friends
Mar 25th 2015
11
barely.
Mar 25th 2015
13
      i think i saw on okp that sitting next to your male friend
Mar 25th 2015
16
           Yep meanwhile
Mar 25th 2015
19
           Seeing some of those public transport photos was eye opening
Mar 25th 2015
22
                There's definitely a system to it
Mar 25th 2015
36
                     o_0 indeed
Mar 25th 2015
56
           you see it.
Mar 25th 2015
27
I had an umcomfortable incident w/ a gentleman from Ghana
Mar 25th 2015
17
damn.
Mar 25th 2015
28
I call bullshit.
Mar 25th 2015
20
Straight Korean men can hold hands without issue
Mar 25th 2015
26
YOU would.
Mar 25th 2015
29
Trying to toughen your son doesn't automatically equate to homophobia
Mar 25th 2015
35
      k.
Mar 25th 2015
38
      this i dont get: Trying to toughen your son
Mar 25th 2015
54
      have you seen worldstar videos?
Mar 25th 2015
62
      what does 'soft' mean?
Mar 25th 2015
72
      It means that you don't stand up for yourself.
Mar 25th 2015
78
           oh okay.
Mar 25th 2015
80
                I never said it was effective. My parents didn't do it.
Mar 25th 2015
83
                     cool, dude.
Mar 25th 2015
85
      these bmore kids dont get enough love or hugs
Mar 25th 2015
76
      misogyny is at the root of homophobia.
Mar 25th 2015
75
      also often guised as
Mar 25th 2015
87
      amen!
Mar 25th 2015
88
           Totally agree
Mar 25th 2015
108
           Yup
Mar 26th 2015
130
           Dykes are the meanest people on the planet
Mar 26th 2015
193
           what is a dyke?
Mar 26th 2015
226
           T H I S.
Mar 26th 2015
218
      If this ain't an oasis in a desert full of sexist, patriarchal apologia....
Mar 27th 2015
422
      thinking of it as a binary is a HUGE problem as well
Mar 26th 2015
289
      you toughen your son up to be prepared for life
Mar 26th 2015
298
      an aside: blue for boys, pink for girls
Mar 25th 2015
106
           yeah, i had to read this a while ago for some marketing research
Mar 26th 2015
292
I call bullshit on your bullshit
Mar 25th 2015
31
      have no idea what you're getting at.
Mar 25th 2015
32
      he's missing the point.
Mar 25th 2015
34
           He is
Mar 25th 2015
40
           possibly b/c of the 'homophobia' thing.
Mar 25th 2015
41
                agreed
Mar 25th 2015
71
                     he's confirmed it repeatedly. LOL
Mar 25th 2015
73
           I'm not missing it (although I didn't get the gibberish that she just sa...
Mar 25th 2015
42
           Your logic makes no sense...
Mar 25th 2015
44
           Two things:
Mar 25th 2015
46
                platonic touch isn't so much about physical pleasure.
Mar 25th 2015
47
                And this is what I mean, though.
Mar 25th 2015
49
                     LORD HAVE MERCY JESUS.
Mar 25th 2015
52
                          LOL.
Mar 25th 2015
61
                          Let's be very clear, fam. You don't know me. Hell, I don't even..
Mar 25th 2015
74
                          i am very clear.
Mar 25th 2015
77
                               well, that just about does it then.
Mar 25th 2015
81
                                    i sure hope so!
Mar 25th 2015
86
                          Lol to get this back on track
Mar 25th 2015
79
                               i have black friends who are more touchy-feely than i am.
Mar 25th 2015
84
                                    Okay it was just me that got side tracked then lol
Mar 25th 2015
89
                                    RE: Okay it was just me that got side tracked then lol
Mar 25th 2015
94
                                         We might be getting somewhere
Mar 25th 2015
102
                                         i see it with my lil cousins
Mar 25th 2015
107
                                              :(
Mar 26th 2015
127
                                    eh, i dont know.
Mar 25th 2015
93
                                         oh yeah. you're on to something there.
Mar 25th 2015
96
                                              Yeah I dunno
Mar 25th 2015
99
                                                   i agree.
Mar 25th 2015
101
                this is sad: any physical touch= romance
Mar 25th 2015
57
                     You absolutely just made that up. It's not worth me responding.
Mar 25th 2015
63
           sure, guy.
Mar 25th 2015
45
                RE: sure, guy.
Mar 25th 2015
48
                     k.
Mar 25th 2015
53
                     okay, maybe we should link it to it being seen as 'weak'?
Mar 25th 2015
64
                          it's so sad!
Mar 25th 2015
69
                          nah, not code for gay
Mar 27th 2015
398
           They pierce dicks and mutilate genitals in Africa too so there's that
Mar 25th 2015
65
                such a wierd tangent.
Mar 25th 2015
68
I dont want no man touching me, and I'm totally ok with that
Mar 25th 2015
21
i wonder how many women think this
Mar 25th 2015
23
at this point it appears all of yall
Mar 25th 2015
24
if yall are repulsive, why should women want you?
Mar 25th 2015
90
      whose y'all? I'm one of the most attractive human beings on earth.
Mar 25th 2015
109
Lots, right? Isn't that the prevailing wisdom?
Mar 25th 2015
39
not really
Mar 25th 2015
98
as a teen
Mar 25th 2015
82
      i cant stand in front of a man in close quarters
Mar 25th 2015
95
LULZ! willful ignorance is so charming and funny.
Mar 25th 2015
30
      Not wanting to be touched by a man is now ignorant?
Mar 25th 2015
112
           yes. like your reading of my reply.
Mar 26th 2015
123
I didn't realize this until my friends (a gay male couple) enlightened m...
Mar 25th 2015
33
you see it.
Mar 25th 2015
37
that's unfortunate that you have to do that w/ relatives
Mar 25th 2015
50
I prefer a head nod lol
Mar 25th 2015
43
      lol do you hug male members of your family tho?
Mar 25th 2015
58
Also as a matter of logic, how they know the dudes in the pics
Mar 25th 2015
59
b/c there weren't gay ppl back then.
Mar 25th 2015
70
      Then what the heck was Oscar Wilde put on trial for?!?
Mar 26th 2015
174
           For engaging in homosexual acts.
Mar 26th 2015
200
I blame hip hop
Mar 25th 2015
60
what are daps/hugs?
Mar 25th 2015
92
See that's that bullshit
Mar 25th 2015
97
Sociologists argue it's about expressing power...
Mar 26th 2015
309
why? you trynna rest your knee on the two ladies?
Mar 25th 2015
100
      Lol it's platonic
Mar 25th 2015
103
i mean, go and watch 'Swingers' and see how much has changed even then
Mar 25th 2015
105
I remember talking to a guy in high school about it
Mar 25th 2015
110
I'm surprised when my straight male friends & colleagues want to hug me
Mar 25th 2015
111
aww. *hugs*
Mar 25th 2015
113
RE: aww. *hugs*
Mar 25th 2015
114
      I need to come to nyc soon!
Mar 26th 2015
362
=( *hugs*
Mar 26th 2015
131
our conditioning has been conditioned.
Mar 26th 2015
138
:( This made me sad.
Mar 26th 2015
164
me too :/
Mar 26th 2015
234
Damn
Mar 26th 2015
256
wait, so if i don't want to hold my male friends' hands...
Mar 25th 2015
115
yeah... no
Mar 26th 2015
121
no, it's b/c of SATAN.
Mar 26th 2015
124
Oh well, SoWhat?
Mar 25th 2015
116
try to ketchup, Heinz.
Mar 26th 2015
125
Most guy on guy contact I have is on the bball court
Mar 25th 2015
118
yo lol
Mar 26th 2015
128
lol.. frats and athletes touch all the fucking time.
Mar 26th 2015
132
      it doesn't matter. b/c homophobia is a fictional concept.
Mar 26th 2015
134
      sounds like you need a hug
Mar 26th 2015
153
           lol, contextual and apt A+
Mar 27th 2015
393
      so you pat butts and hold hands with your friends?
Mar 26th 2015
139
           RE: so you pat butts and hold hands with your friends?
Mar 26th 2015
151
           because you are trying to 'win'
Mar 26th 2015
212
                locking arms on the sideline has no effect on the outcome
Mar 26th 2015
233
                     ^^ #winning
Mar 26th 2015
241
           I don't hold hands with my female friends either, most adults don't hold...
Mar 26th 2015
170
                y'all stay throwing women up as a shield
Mar 26th 2015
214
                     I'm just saying, adults don't normally hold hands regardless of gender.....
Mar 26th 2015
283
                          great
Mar 26th 2015
366
k
Mar 25th 2015
119
maybe from touching other men, but we get touched more
Mar 25th 2015
120
Yes
Mar 26th 2015
126
Good conversation n/m
Mar 26th 2015
129
the world can be, and is, a sad place sometimes
Mar 26th 2015
133
the funny thing about it is that most people you ask can cite examples..
Mar 26th 2015
136
      that's b/c there's no such thing as 'homophobia'.
Mar 26th 2015
137
           let's be clear here
Mar 26th 2015
150
           nah, your experience is a lie...
Mar 26th 2015
155
           lol
Mar 26th 2015
238
           right. i get it.
Mar 26th 2015
243
                i don't think the child-rearing issue is solely due to homophobia
Mar 26th 2015
307
                     awesome.
Mar 26th 2015
343
           "This brings into question the "crisis" nature of the article"
Mar 26th 2015
154
                right. And homophobia is a lie so the article is bunk.
Mar 26th 2015
201
                     "This brings into question the "crisis" nature of the article."
Mar 26th 2015
205
                          yes bc men give each other handshakes there is no crisis.
Mar 26th 2015
208
                               *Pats head*
Mar 26th 2015
209
                                    ^ more proof that this is bogus.
Mar 26th 2015
219
*looks at 10 sweaty men grabbing all over each other at the ball court*
Mar 26th 2015
135
yeah, the author says the only touch left for men is athletic and sexual...
Mar 26th 2015
140
*looks at the same ten men can't even sit next to each other in the thea...
Mar 26th 2015
141
      that's b/c it doesn't FEEL GOOD to touch a man.
Mar 26th 2015
143
      nope nope nope
Mar 26th 2015
145
           oh they won't kiss their homie b/c it doesn't feel good.
Mar 26th 2015
149
                american male lips are sand paper
Mar 26th 2015
166
      Men are competitive beings
Mar 26th 2015
146
      right so you might as well not sit close to your homie in a theater.
Mar 26th 2015
148
           Absolutely
Mar 26th 2015
158
                you don't exist
Mar 26th 2015
167
      if they don't have to why would they?
Mar 26th 2015
157
      if they were my supposed friend
Mar 26th 2015
165
           RE: if they were my supposed friend
Mar 26th 2015
195
                i'm not the one trying to "win"
Mar 26th 2015
215
                     #picsoritdidn'tfappin
Mar 26th 2015
223
                          because women fap to friendship
Mar 26th 2015
225
                               not all women, just you
Mar 26th 2015
236
                                    all to "win", right
Mar 26th 2015
240
      nah we just like our balls to breath. However those new
Mar 26th 2015
280
Some of you have really nice capes!
Mar 26th 2015
142
look up in the sky, its.. SUPAMAN LOVER YEAHHHH!
Mar 26th 2015
162
      lol people are WORKING in here, hahahah
Mar 26th 2015
169
           https://38.media.tumblr.com/276606135cb8f6cedbedcbab1e8c75c1/tumblr_n43t...
Mar 26th 2015
173
                hahahaha
Mar 26th 2015
194
                damn, this shit funny
Mar 26th 2015
258
Men hug and touch each other everyday with genuine affection via
Mar 26th 2015
144
of course you disagree as a whole.
Mar 26th 2015
147
      Always defaulting to your real issue - again.
Mar 26th 2015
156
           you see it right? people in here telling him they hug their friends
Mar 26th 2015
159
           Right. He's salty because his post isn't going a planned.
Mar 26th 2015
161
                my nephew and I said I love you on the phone at the same time
Mar 26th 2015
176
                     Word. It's a norm for me and my boys
Mar 26th 2015
189
                          you even made a "I love you, man" last month
Mar 26th 2015
203
                               I'm such a Clairvoyant!
Mar 26th 2015
206
           it's also proof that God is real.
Mar 26th 2015
210
                You still defaulting.
Mar 26th 2015
216
                     great.
Mar 26th 2015
227
this is bullshit. maybe an issue for white men.
Mar 26th 2015
152
white frat dudes are the most touchy feely dudes on earth
Mar 26th 2015
160
      so are black dudes in trap videos.
Mar 26th 2015
163
           right. A woman I know made a post on facebook a while back about how..
Mar 26th 2015
168
           yes my nigga
Mar 26th 2015
175
           y'all hunting those exceptions down HARD
Mar 26th 2015
171
           i hug my brothers with both arms.
Mar 26th 2015
179
           how dare we have examples that don't fit the narrative
Mar 26th 2015
181
           oh look you touched a male just today
Mar 26th 2015
183
           our affection doesn't need to meet your standard to be valid.
Mar 26th 2015
186
                instagram it
Mar 26th 2015
188
           with no shirts on!!!
Mar 26th 2015
172
                plus hugging!
Mar 26th 2015
182
                     dog, niggas cry.
Mar 26th 2015
191
                          you have a camera?
Mar 26th 2015
192
                               WE need to take it all the way? LOL... OH, THE IRONY
Mar 26th 2015
196
                                    its an every day thing right??
Mar 26th 2015
197
                                         pretty much.. every time I see my friends we dap & hug
Mar 26th 2015
202
                                              because...thats how natural it is
Mar 26th 2015
229
                                                   I don't a photo to believe them
Mar 26th 2015
246
                                                   lmao
Mar 27th 2015
399
Nah playa I have no problems dapping and hugging my peoples.
Mar 26th 2015
177
E'ERYDAY I HAVE TO KISS A MAN TO PROVE MY LOVE!!!!
Mar 26th 2015
178
I think men hug now more than ever, the dap hug has become mainstream...
Mar 26th 2015
180
but do you sit on your coworkers lap in your cubicle?
Mar 26th 2015
184
lmao
Mar 26th 2015
185
show us!
Mar 26th 2015
190
you need help getting off or what?
Mar 26th 2015
198
RE: show us!
Mar 26th 2015
207
      #showusyours
Mar 26th 2015
224
           those naturally are pictures of billy ray
Mar 26th 2015
228
LOFL
Mar 26th 2015
259
yes we were completely wrong!
Mar 26th 2015
187
      Right?
Mar 26th 2015
217
           absolutely
Mar 26th 2015
244
smh @ trying to discount touching during athletics
Mar 26th 2015
199
pics or it didn't happen
Mar 26th 2015
204
we aren't the one being dishonest in here
Mar 26th 2015
211
#blackhugsmatter
Mar 26th 2015
220
#filmyothughugs
Mar 26th 2015
221
#ineednewfapphotos
Mar 26th 2015
222
      yeah...he mad
Mar 26th 2015
230
           pics or it ain't true
Mar 26th 2015
235
                feel like a winner yet?
Mar 26th 2015
242
                     http://blogsurface.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/stephhhh-e141124115161...
Mar 26th 2015
247
Court is one of the last places men can assert their masculinity
Mar 26th 2015
213
RE: Court is one of the last places men can assert their masculinity
Mar 26th 2015
231
      Interesting. Tell me more about what it's like to be a man
Mar 26th 2015
245
           oh no i'm fascinated
Mar 26th 2015
252
           lol
Mar 26th 2015
253
i never understood the ass slap in sports.
Mar 26th 2015
277
this is one where I want to get it, but I don't.
Mar 26th 2015
232
it's fine if you don't get it.
Mar 26th 2015
237
but what does handling EMOTIONS...
Mar 26th 2015
248
      Dunno. Email the author.
Mar 26th 2015
254
      you don't have all the answers Swhayt?
Mar 26th 2015
261
           still mad huh
Mar 26th 2015
270
                nah... but when I get that hug I'll be sure to take a photo
Mar 26th 2015
272
                     which will be shortly right?
Mar 26th 2015
275
                          I'll even whisper your name in his ear when I hug him...
Mar 26th 2015
282
                               nah whisper his name
Mar 26th 2015
285
                                    nope, it's all for you so your name will be used
Mar 26th 2015
311
                                         but wait i thought you hugged "all the time"
Mar 26th 2015
319
      Right
Mar 26th 2015
257
           Wrong.
Mar 27th 2015
391
those who play the game get to make the rules
Mar 26th 2015
239
It's pure irony to think this is due to homophotiba.
Mar 26th 2015
249
My homegirl told me two years ago that she realized she could tell
Mar 26th 2015
255
Yes. Confession: that's one of the main things that annoys me about
Mar 26th 2015
291
      Ah! Yeah I do have one homeboy who doesn't do the hug
Mar 26th 2015
315
Just about every man in this post has been robbed of touch
Mar 26th 2015
260
LOL. SO FUNNY.
Mar 26th 2015
262
RE: Just about every man in this post has been robbed of touch
Mar 26th 2015
263
Replies 157 and 184
Mar 26th 2015
267
      it's called sarcasm dude...
Mar 26th 2015
268
           No, I covered that in the latter part of my reply
Mar 26th 2015
273
                nah, there is no reason to address it since my experience
Mar 26th 2015
278
                     RE: nah, there is no reason to address it since my experience
Mar 26th 2015
287
                          u said we are in denial...
Mar 27th 2015
400
LOL
Mar 26th 2015
264
sarcasm?
Mar 26th 2015
265
amazing the levels of denial
Mar 26th 2015
271
      you sound soooooo jealous...
Mar 26th 2015
274
      instagram dude
Mar 26th 2015
276
           I'm gonna congratulate you on getting a hug cause you needed it
Mar 26th 2015
281
           you need it more than me dude
Mar 26th 2015
284
                I'm just glad you hugging OKP's
Mar 26th 2015
308
                     aawwww now who's jealous?
Mar 26th 2015
329
           now hugging a dude and trying to take a pic at the same time IS gay af
Mar 26th 2015
290
                bring it in here bro (click)...
Mar 26th 2015
304
                even if one of the women took the pic as the hug took place?
Mar 26th 2015
312
                     women? your friend made it a rule that no women can be present
Mar 26th 2015
316
                          nope i didn't
Mar 26th 2015
320
                               I almost cant believe you are this weird
Mar 26th 2015
330
                                    need a hug?
Mar 26th 2015
360
      we losing intimacies
Mar 26th 2015
306
           LOL
Mar 26th 2015
321
           lol
Mar 26th 2015
384
RE: Homophobia has robbed men of touch (link)
Mar 26th 2015
266
levels
Mar 26th 2015
269
      I still cross my legs and apparently it's "un-manly" in America
Mar 26th 2015
279
           That isn't considered unmanly, it's viewed as something that old men do.
Mar 26th 2015
286
           i have friends that do
Mar 26th 2015
288
           i don't understand how a man cross his legs.
Mar 26th 2015
293
                lol i don't cross them all the way
Mar 26th 2015
294
                     isn't that...???
Mar 26th 2015
299
                     men do that all the time. i thought you meant when you cross and then
Mar 26th 2015
305
                     yeah, that's how men usually cross their legs
Mar 26th 2015
310
                     my dad & all my uncles do the full cross
Mar 26th 2015
334
                     *sigh*
Mar 26th 2015
317
Fellas: When's the last time you told another man "I Love You?"
Mar 26th 2015
295
Yesterday.
Mar 26th 2015
296
love you for that my brother. that's what's up.
Mar 26th 2015
297
      Love and respect to you too. Me and my best friend been mad emo...
Mar 26th 2015
300
           man, my friends have been going through marriage, divorce
Mar 26th 2015
314
                is your friend still drinking or using?
Mar 26th 2015
339
last week on a 3 way phone call with my homies out west.
Mar 26th 2015
301
love you for that my brother...
Mar 26th 2015
302
      love you too bruh, one thing i realized is no matter how long
Mar 26th 2015
313
Saturday. I told a bunch that I love them
Mar 26th 2015
324
nah bro i can't go for that...j/k i love you for that.
Mar 26th 2015
336
when is the last time you gave your homie a neck rub?
Mar 26th 2015
349
      lol never
Mar 26th 2015
351
      and that's what the article is about.
Mar 26th 2015
353
           I know
Mar 26th 2015
357
      I'm a prude, I only do that with my nephews
Mar 26th 2015
354
      i've only done it when on
Mar 26th 2015
356
      don't do that with platonic women either though
Mar 27th 2015
      don't do that with platonic women either though
Mar 27th 2015
405
      don't do that with platonic women either though
Mar 27th 2015
406
3 months ago.
Mar 26th 2015
337
*kisses you on the mouth like my name's Isaiah Thomas*
Mar 26th 2015
338
      LOL
Mar 26th 2015
341
NEVER
Mar 26th 2015
388
this is some YT sh*t
Mar 26th 2015
303
Women, how many of yall would look suspiciously at guys being
Mar 26th 2015
318
its a patriarchal society
Mar 26th 2015
323
I understand that. This ain't about a gender blame game.
Mar 26th 2015
326
i'm not sure you do
Mar 26th 2015
331
      the author of the article mentioned it:
Mar 26th 2015
333
      boogie see?
Mar 26th 2015
342
           RE: boogie see?
Mar 26th 2015
359
           agreed
Mar 26th 2015
367
           See what? The fact that the same article you are defending quotes..
Mar 26th 2015
381
                Yesyesyes
Mar 26th 2015
386
      Race and Gender are different, despite their intersections.
Mar 26th 2015
352
           RE: Race and Gender are different, despite their intersections.
Mar 26th 2015
385
                ...
Mar 27th 2015
390
Patriarchy is the answer to everything, huh?
Mar 26th 2015
328
      if not racism
Mar 26th 2015
332
      I don't think this discussion was even meant to turn into gender wars
Mar 26th 2015
340
           we don't live or type in a vacuum
Mar 26th 2015
344
      man, you betta let that woman tell you what your thinking
Mar 26th 2015
335
           who you calling "that woman"!?!?
Mar 26th 2015
347
                I thought you were a woman, mad bad bruh
Mar 26th 2015
348
                     A woman
Mar 26th 2015
363
This is still OKP.
Mar 26th 2015
325
      That goes for everybody tho, lol.
Mar 26th 2015
327
Obviously the author didn't go thru an Army Basic Training Chow Line
Mar 26th 2015
322
the one where men lay on each other for support?
Mar 26th 2015
345
      I Said Chow Line. WTH are you gabbin about ...
Mar 26th 2015
361
           why did you bring up the chow line?
Mar 26th 2015
369
                It was an exaggeration of the closeness that men experience
Mar 26th 2015
375
                     Oh ok.
Mar 26th 2015
377
This post is split between Hetero Men and Non-Hetero . Crazy.
Mar 26th 2015
346
when is the last time you rubbed your homie's feet?
Mar 26th 2015
350
      Rubbing feet ain't the only form of touch.
Mar 26th 2015
365
      oh yes
Mar 26th 2015
368
      Sure.
Mar 26th 2015
371
           RE: Sure.
Mar 26th 2015
374
                Uh huh
Mar 26th 2015
376
      https://youtu.be/ZpXoCmwZANU?t=128
Mar 26th 2015
370
           Lol!!
Mar 26th 2015
373
This post is ridic but I think this video totally sums it up
Mar 26th 2015
355
LOL!!
Mar 26th 2015
358
heh
Mar 26th 2015
364
as does this one:
Mar 26th 2015
387
      omg. lol
Mar 27th 2015
419
If you play Omarion's "Touch" while reading this post
Mar 26th 2015
372
folks, personal anecdote is not data
Mar 26th 2015
378
and their anecdotes don't mean shit. Lol
Mar 26th 2015
379
An author's opinion is not data.
Mar 26th 2015
380
yup
Mar 26th 2015
383
People go out of their way to get on some agenda shit...
Mar 27th 2015
389
y'all think this is some agenda shit?
Mar 27th 2015
417
      This is perfectly in line with your agenda
Mar 27th 2015
424
           i definitely have an agenda.
Mar 27th 2015
428
damn
Mar 27th 2015
394
he broke that shit down
Mar 27th 2015
395
But the underlying question is WHY NOT
Mar 27th 2015
401
Why should I.
Mar 27th 2015
402
and why are you homophobic if you don't do these things?
Mar 27th 2015
404
only you can answer that.
Mar 27th 2015
412
      LOL
Mar 27th 2015
415
           no, i think there is an answer.
Mar 27th 2015
418
                I have the answer for myself, but I want to hear *her* answer since...
Mar 27th 2015
420
                     who's the her here?
Mar 27th 2015
421
                          This is frustrating.
Mar 27th 2015
423
                               here's a book
Mar 27th 2015
425
                                    So, you don't have an answer or supporting data. Thanks.
Mar 27th 2015
427
                                         sigh. the book talks about lack of intimacy among boys.
Mar 27th 2015
430
                                              I asked for your definition of lack of touch as well as data on..
Mar 27th 2015
432
im down with this
Mar 27th 2015
403
exactly. all of the defensiveness about the homophobia is
Mar 27th 2015
411
Bravo! Man you did that sir!
Mar 27th 2015
408
Yup.
Mar 27th 2015
434
it's how people interpret, process, or apply "data" though
Mar 27th 2015
397
Think they'll notice
Mar 27th 2015
407
you ppl can't read for shit.
Mar 26th 2015
they can't.
Mar 27th 2015
414
you ppl can't read for shit.
Mar 26th 2015
382
... and ecstasy has been giving it back to us since 1987.
Mar 27th 2015
392
i feel homphobia is a contributing factor
Mar 27th 2015
396
equally interesting: Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box
Mar 27th 2015
409
Definitely interesting
Mar 27th 2015
416
7 out of 11!!!
Mar 27th 2015
431
I don't feel robbed of touch.
Mar 27th 2015
410
email the author.
Mar 27th 2015
413
TLDR: SoWhat wants me to give my homies more shoulder rubs
Mar 27th 2015
426
no.
Mar 27th 2015
429
I hugged one of my boys in public today. I still didn't feel robbed.
Mar 27th 2015
433

initiationofplato
Member since Nov 06th 2013
2420 posts
Wed Mar-25-15 05:42 PM

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1. "Totally agree with this"
In response to Reply # 0


          

I have come across so many men whom are so afraid to show any affection towards another man. You can't even bring something up in a joke. Each of them always has a big speech on what a man should and shouldn't do. I suspect some of them will share it in this post, but hey, everyone needs to rock their cape from time to time.

~Experience is the currency of the soul.

  

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PoppaGeorge
Member since Nov 07th 2004
10384 posts
Wed Mar-25-15 08:29 PM

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91. "maybe it's where I grew up, but I haven't witnessed this"
In response to Reply # 1


  

          

... with the exception of, maybe, holding hands.

Growing up, there was no shortage of men embracing one another, especially in times of grieving or joy. When we greet one another it's usually shaking hands and the "bruh hug" though it goes deeper than that depending on the situation and the person. Maybe it's a "black thing", 'cause I don't really see it like that with white guys outside of frat houses.

Even in major league sports, men are quick to embrace one another.

I hug my son, my stepfather, my pops when he was alive, uncles and grandfathers. I really can't recall a time when black men DIDN'T do this.

---------------------------

forcing myself to actually respond to you is like bathing in ebola virus. - Binlahab

Like there is stupid, and then there is you, and then there is dead. - VAsBestBBW

R.I.P. Disco D

  

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akon
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Wed Mar-25-15 05:42 PM

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2. "love this article"
In response to Reply # 0
Wed Mar-25-15 05:43 PM by akon

  

          

definitely one of the bigger differences i see when im in the u.s
versus back in one of the continents of africa

and it seems to be related to ideas of modernity
men are more relaxed about holding hands etc
the more rural i go

i blame the missionaries



whoooo
'We need to empower men to touch. We need to fix our sexually repressed/obsessed American culture and put an end to distorted and hateful parts of our culture that allow homophobic people to police all men everywhere down to the very tips of our fingertips.

.
http://perspectivesudans.blogspot.com/
i myself would never want to be god,or even like god.Because god got all these human beings on this planet and i most certainly would not want to be responsible for them, or even have the disgrace that i made them.

  

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SoWhat
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Wed Mar-25-15 05:46 PM

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3. "The hand holding among men in Ghana is great."
In response to Reply # 2


  

          

A friend had prepared me for it so I didn't trip. I saw it in some of the villages - I don't remember seeing it in Accra or Kumasi. I thought of it when I read the article. I too blame the missionaries for changing that practice.

fuck you.

  

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akon
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Wed Mar-25-15 06:09 PM

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12. "same thing in nairobi"
In response to Reply # 3


  

          

definitely harder to see among folks that consider themselves more middle to upper class
so not so much in the city center, less so in some neighbourhoods compared to others
poor repressed souls- they dont know what they are signing up for
--

in south sudan ...(this is an aside, btw)
let me not generalize... among my father's people
men are more comfortable around each other- more likely to see men holding hands when walking,
or holding each other by the shoulder
and spending more time with each other than their wives/partners

i find it quite fascinating


especially because it's against a background that plays to the fucked up notions of gender that we have
i think mine is a culture that truly defines misogyny -
e.g a man who has a stronger friendship with his wife/female friends than his buddies/kin is considered weak.

but its also a very sexually-repressed culture
i keep telling folks that i want to start a sex-therapy/sex-as-pleasure movement in the village
cause sometimes i think we think its only for reproduction (moreso on the woman's part)

so... there's that

recently this dude came out (last month i think)
and the reaction of the community led him to try and kill himself (had to be hospitalized)
this is in the u.s- and we are fucked up in the u.s (even he is fucked up in some ways, vis a vis concept of beauty/bleaching i.e.)

but...i still always wonder about african notions of homosexuality (prior to livingtone and 'em)
there's too many grey areas for me to believe its as black and white as we now perceive it
too many interpretations of cultural norms

.
http://perspectivesudans.blogspot.com/
i myself would never want to be god,or even like god.Because god got all these human beings on this planet and i most certainly would not want to be responsible for them, or even have the disgrace that i made them.

  

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SoWhat
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25. "word."
In response to Reply # 12


  

          

>definitely harder to see among folks that consider themselves
>more middle to upper class
>so not so much in the city center, less so in some
>neighbourhoods compared to others
>poor repressed souls- they dont know what they are signing up
>for

agreed!

>in south sudan ...(this is an aside, btw)
>let me not generalize... among my father's people
>men are more comfortable around each other- more likely to see
>men holding hands when walking,
>or holding each other by the shoulder
>and spending more time with each other than their
>wives/partners
>
>i find it quite fascinating

yes. me too.

>especially because it's against a background that plays to the
>fucked up notions of gender that we have
>i think mine is a culture that truly defines misogyny -
>e.g a man who has a stronger friendship with his wife/female
>friends than his buddies/kin is considered weak.

damn.

>but its also a very sexually-repressed culture
>i keep telling folks that i want to start a
>sex-therapy/sex-as-pleasure movement in the village
>cause sometimes i think we think its only for reproduction
>(moreso on the woman's part)
>
>so... there's that

interesting. when did Americans (women, really) jump on the idea of sex as pleasure? Betty Friedan/The Feminine Mystique?

>recently this dude came out (last month i think)
>and the reaction of the community led him to try and kill
>himself (had to be hospitalized)
>this is in the u.s- and we are fucked up in the u.s (even he
>is fucked up in some ways, vis a vis concept of
>beauty/bleaching i.e.)

so sad. SO sad.

>but...i still always wonder about african notions of
>homosexuality (prior to livingtone and 'em)
>there's too many grey areas for me to believe its as black and
>white as we now perceive it
>too many interpretations of cultural norms

it's not nearly as black and white as we want it to be.

fuck you.

  

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-DJ R-Tistic-
Member since Nov 06th 2008
51977 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 12:16 PM

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250. "Oh they did it in Accra when I was there"
In response to Reply # 3
Thu Mar-26-15 12:19 PM by -DJ R-Tistic-

  

          

Not too much, but one guy who I DJ'd with did it, as I mentioned below. I didn't really see a whole lot of it though.

------------------------------

50+ FREE Mixes on www.DJR-Tistic.com!

Twitter and Instagram - @DJ_RTistic

  

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Buddy_Gilapagos
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5. "I'll admit the idea of dudes platonically holding hands is so foreign"
In response to Reply # 2


  

          

to me. I can't see it happening in the US (did it ever)?

Also to be fair, there seems to me to be a high correlation between cultures where men are physically affectionate towards each other and being repressive towards women in general. Correct me if I am wrong.


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson


"One of the most important things in life is what Judge Learned Hand described as 'that ever-gnawing inner doubt as to whether you're

  

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SoWhat
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Wed Mar-25-15 05:50 PM

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6. "Read the article and/or stfu."
In response to Reply # 5


  

          

fuck you.

  

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cgonz00cc
Member since Aug 01st 2002
32448 posts
Wed Mar-25-15 06:13 PM

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15. "lol @ and/or"
In response to Reply # 6


  

          

WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE

  

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Buddy_Gilapagos
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51. "Why you mad?"
In response to Reply # 6


  

          

I did exactly what you said, I read the article soooo. I don't have to STFU.


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson


"One of the most important things in life is what Judge Learned Hand described as 'that ever-gnawing inner doubt as to whether you're

  

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akon
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Wed Mar-25-15 06:12 PM

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14. "i dont know that its a correlation"
In response to Reply # 5


  

          

thats a bit too general for me
i gave an example of my father's people which would seem to conform to your ideas
but i can also give other examples from my country and kenya where this is not the case
for example i can give you my mother's people as an example
where we mostly form monogomous relationships that are on a more or less equal basis
yes there are still fixed roles/notions of gender
but men still be hand holding and loving each other and their women
so i dont see it as x causes y

.
http://perspectivesudans.blogspot.com/
i myself would never want to be god,or even like god.Because god got all these human beings on this planet and i most certainly would not want to be responsible for them, or even have the disgrace that i made them.

  

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Buddy_Gilapagos
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55. " But are there a lot of homophobic countries that don't have touch"
In response to Reply # 14


  

          

isolation issues?

I hear you and you would know better than me, but I don't think the correlation the author is making holds up either. Mainly because there are alot of very homophobic societies that also seem to not have an issue with male physical intimacies. I am thinking of arab nations.



**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson


"One of the most important things in life is what Judge Learned Hand described as 'that ever-gnawing inner doubt as to whether you're

  

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akon
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Wed Mar-25-15 07:57 PM

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66. "the article contextualizes it to this society"
In response to Reply # 55


  

          

and in *this* society there's definitely a link with homophobia
yes there exist homophobic societies in which men are very touchy feely
that doesn't necessarily negate the fact that in *this* context it is because of homophobia

and when i talk about nairobi and guys being less touchy feely
its because they are most likely to say, well that's gay
than someone in a rural area for whom that is not a logical conclusion
and the fact that this actually happens in that context as well actual supports this tenet

.
http://perspectivesudans.blogspot.com/
i myself would never want to be god,or even like god.Because god got all these human beings on this planet and i most certainly would not want to be responsible for them, or even have the disgrace that i made them.

  

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SoWhat
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Wed Mar-25-15 07:58 PM

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67. "*sigh*"
In response to Reply # 55


  

          

men here don't touch each other platonically largely b/c we want to avoid being labeled gay. i myself avoid it b/c i am gay and i don't want men i touch to think i'm coming on to them or feeling them up for a thrill.

that's how homophobia operates to isolate us from platonic touch.

homophobia operates differently in other places.

w/o regard for the root of touch isolation among men, it's a problem as identified by the author. i agree. and i'd agree even if we were isolated from touch for reasons that have nothing to do w/homophobia.

fuck you.

  

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denny
Member since Apr 11th 2008
11281 posts
Wed Mar-25-15 10:48 PM

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117. "Is this preference specific though?"
In response to Reply # 67
Wed Mar-25-15 10:57 PM by denny

          

I don't touch other hetero men's wives. I'd contend other societies have more touch regardless of preference. It seems weird to say that 'homophobia provokes this attitude'. If it did...it would manifest the same way everywhere. Most non-western countries are MUCH more homophobic than the US. So why would the US be 'particular' about this?

The Protestant idealism and emphasis on individuality that defines American ideals seems to be a more direct explanation for the absence of human touch than homophobia. I'd argue that the way homophobia manifests in America is a by-product of the broader social paradigm of individualism. Freedom over the greater good. A perspective that views other people as a burden or as competition. You don't need them.....you tolerate them. Most of the world has an underlying assumption and understanding that we need each other to be who we are. By ourselves....we are an animal. We depend on each other's interaction for our very own self-perception. I can't be who I am without the people around me. I am a product of human interaction.

  

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SoWhat
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122. "dunno. email the author."
In response to Reply # 117


  

          

fuck you.

  

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akon
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Wed Mar-25-15 08:54 PM

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104. "what about non-homophobic countries that don't have touch"
In response to Reply # 55


  

          

isolation issues?

that's pretty much the converse of what you said

i used to work with some danes, and these dudes were pretty touchy feely
id wager so are the french
and these are not your typically homophobic/represed societies

.
http://perspectivesudans.blogspot.com/
i myself would never want to be god,or even like god.Because god got all these human beings on this planet and i most certainly would not want to be responsible for them, or even have the disgrace that i made them.

  

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-DJ R-Tistic-
Member since Nov 06th 2008
51977 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 12:18 PM

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251. "YO. That shit threw me off like a MF when I went last year!!!"
In response to Reply # 2


  

          

I finished DJ'n, and the dude who was on the mic when I was on was like "let me introduce you to some folks" and he grabbed my hand. Shit was the most awkward walk I ever had since hearing my dad say "COME HERE!!!!!" after I knew he found out I cheated on a test.

------------------------------

50+ FREE Mixes on www.DJR-Tistic.com!

Twitter and Instagram - @DJ_RTistic

  

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lfresh
Member since Jun 18th 2002
92693 posts
Wed Mar-25-15 05:47 PM

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4. "If it's the peice I think, yes."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

Someone had it on Facebook
And yepyepyep
~~~~
When you are born, you cry, and the world rejoices. Live so that when you die, you rejoice, and the world cries.
~~~~
You cannot hate people for their own good.

  

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SoWhat
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8. "I saw it on FB too."
In response to Reply # 4


  

          

My fave was the part about the burden on young women presented by young men who are desperate for touch. I had not heard about that b4. I completely agreed.

fuck you.

  

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lfresh
Member since Jun 18th 2002
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Wed Mar-25-15 06:32 PM

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18. "It makes sense"
In response to Reply # 8


  

          


~~~~
When you are born, you cry, and the world rejoices. Live so that when you die, you rejoice, and the world cries.
~~~~
You cannot hate people for their own good.

  

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rawsouthpaw
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Wed Mar-25-15 05:52 PM

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7. "agree, but tell that to GW Bush "
In response to Reply # 0


  

          



http://serbianna.com/analysis/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/bush_saudi.jpg

  

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SoWhat
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9. "Likely initiated by the Saudi. Lol"
In response to Reply # 7


  

          

fuck you.

  

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murderbear
Member since Feb 26th 2012
1982 posts
Wed Mar-25-15 05:56 PM

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10. "Beanie Siegel wept"
In response to Reply # 0


          

  

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John Forte
Member since Feb 22nd 2013
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Wed Mar-25-15 06:07 PM

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11. "I think black men are more tactile with their male friends"
In response to Reply # 0


          

Then Americans in general

  

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SoWhat
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13. "barely."
In response to Reply # 11


  

          

Daps and pounds and that's about it. Any more and the phobia shows up.

fuck you.

  

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akon
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Wed Mar-25-15 06:13 PM

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16. "i think i saw on okp that sitting next to your male friend"
In response to Reply # 13


  

          

in a movie theater is a no no
i wept for humanity

.
http://perspectivesudans.blogspot.com/
i myself would never want to be god,or even like god.Because god got all these human beings on this planet and i most certainly would not want to be responsible for them, or even have the disgrace that i made them.

  

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lfresh
Member since Jun 18th 2002
92693 posts
Wed Mar-25-15 06:33 PM

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19. "Yep meanwhile"
In response to Reply # 16
Wed Mar-25-15 06:34 PM by lfresh

  

          

On buses and subways men with take UP womens space
Like that shit makes us more comfortable
No mofo
~~~~
When you are born, you cry, and the world rejoices. Live so that when you die, you rejoice, and the world cries.
~~~~
You cannot hate people for their own good.

  

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Ted Gee Seal
Member since Apr 18th 2007
10084 posts
Wed Mar-25-15 06:43 PM

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22. "Seeing some of those public transport photos was eye opening"
In response to Reply # 19


  

          

I really don't get it.

Just IMO though.

  

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lfresh
Member since Jun 18th 2002
92693 posts
Wed Mar-25-15 07:11 PM

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36. "There's definitely a system to it"
In response to Reply # 22


  

          

Generally of giving space always whenever possible
Also in favor of anticipating more people are likely coming

That in mind me and a young man entered a subway car
We sat across and diagonal from each other
Both sitting on the end of our respective three person seating space

Next stop three people got on
Mind you the car was empty except for now five people

Two sat next to me, guy and girl
Which was a bit awkward given it was an empty car
But
The third dude since he was talking to his friend sat opposite them
Right next to the first guy across/diagonal from me
Instead of leaving the empty space

We connected over that
All three broke all sorts of space rules
We looked at each other like 0_o
Part of me debated whether it was homophobic
But really that's a stranger and there was plenty of room
And it wasn't cold so wtf
~~~~
When you are born, you cry, and the world rejoices. Live so that when you die, you rejoice, and the world cries.
~~~~
You cannot hate people for their own good.

  

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Ted Gee Seal
Member since Apr 18th 2007
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Wed Mar-25-15 07:47 PM

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56. "o_0 indeed"
In response to Reply # 36


  

          

>Generally of giving space always whenever possible
>Also in favor of anticipating more people are likely coming
>
>That in mind me and a young man entered a subway car
>We sat across and diagonal from each other
>Both sitting on the end of our respective three person seating
>space
>
>Next stop three people got on
>Mind you the car was empty except for now five people
>
>Two sat next to me, guy and girl
>Which was a bit awkward given it was an empty car
>But
>The third dude since he was talking to his friend sat opposite
>them
>Right next to the first guy across/diagonal from me
>Instead of leaving the empty space
>
>We connected over that
>All three broke all sorts of space rules
>We looked at each other like 0_o
>Part of me debated whether it was homophobic
>But really that's a stranger and there was plenty of room
>And it wasn't cold so wtf

There are so many times in life when personal space has to be compromised, why do they have to go out of their way to get an extra fix?

I don't get that at all. Even if it's cold.

Just IMO though.

  

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SoWhat
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27. "you see it."
In response to Reply # 16


  

          

i have 4 friends who i've known for more than 15 yrs (1 of them since 7th grade). 2 are gay, 1 is bi and the other is str8. w/each of them i can count on 2 hands the number of times we've touched beyond a handshake.

fuck you.

  

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Coprolalia
Member since Oct 17th 2008
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Wed Mar-25-15 06:31 PM

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17. "I had an umcomfortable incident w/ a gentleman from Ghana"
In response to Reply # 0


          

He grabbed my hand to lead me in some direction, this I had no problem with but then he didn't let go... and the longer he held my hand the more uncomfortable I became.

For what was probably like 30 secs felt like 30mins for me and I eventually pulled my hand away as gently as I could with him noticing my uncomfortableness(Fail). I felt bad but that feeling of being judged was hard to shake..

I was also surprised by how comfortable Korean boys/men are with touching but seem to be very homophobic...

"Fuck this shit man"

  

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SoWhat
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28. "damn."
In response to Reply # 17


  

          

fuck you.

  

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daryloneal
Member since Jan 08th 2005
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20. "I call bullshit."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

Homophobia and preference are two different things.

At a certain point, a man typically prefers that touch from a woman.

There's a line between that preference (i.e. because it fucking feels better to him) and homophobia.

Simply put, once boys discover girls they spend most of their time running around with half woods chasing them, and prefer that over snapping a pic on another boy's lap.

As a man, you typically no longer desire ongoing comfort from the strong hands of a man unless it's a major situation.

I remember when the brother of one of the toughest dudes in my neighborhood got killed. I caught him just walking up the street by himself in disbelief looking hurt. I pulled my car over immediately, hopped out and threw my arms around him.

And he didn't reject it.

That said, I greet damn near all my close male friends with a five AND hug when I see them.

There's more to be said about the bullshit in the connection that was drawn, but I don't care enough to keep going.

---
but have you ever checked out my website? www.dtaylorimages.com

  

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Ted Gee Seal
Member since Apr 18th 2007
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26. "Straight Korean men can hold hands without issue"
In response to Reply # 20


  

          

>Homophobia and preference are two different things.
>
>At a certain point, a man typically prefers that touch from a
>woman.
>
>There's a line between that preference (i.e. because it
>fucking feels better to him) and homophobia.
>
>Simply put, once boys discover girls they spend most of their
>time running around with half woods chasing them, and prefer
>that over snapping a pic on another boy's lap.
>
>As a man, you typically no longer desire ongoing comfort from
>the strong hands of a man unless it's a major situation.
>

So I don't think this can apply across the board as if there's no context to how that attitude comes about.

Different cultures have different attitudes to contact between men.

Just IMO though.

  

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SoWhat
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29. "YOU would."
In response to Reply # 20
Wed Mar-25-15 07:04 PM by SoWhat

  

          

>Homophobia and preference are two different things.
>
>At a certain point, a man typically prefers that touch from a
>woman.

there are men all over the world who are attracted to women but don't have the same issues we have w/touching other men PLATONICALLY.

the article proposes some reasons why men lose the ability to touch platonically.

you've hit on exactly what the article says is a problem - that boys are socialized by their parents and other caretakers not to be touched. and so then they go through puberty and develop and identify strong sexual feelings. by the time they become men the only touch that's recognized as okay is sexual or athletic. platonic touch is all but lost.

the writer says this is a problem for men's mental and emotional health.

fuck you.

  

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daryloneal
Member since Jan 08th 2005
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35. "Trying to toughen your son doesn't automatically equate to homophobia"
In response to Reply # 29


  

          

If anything it has more to do with the fear of him going out into the world and getting his ass whipped for ANY reason.

Like I said there's a line.

>
>you've hit on exactly what the article says is a problem -
>that boys are socialized by their parents and other caretakers
>not to be touched. and so then they go through puberty and
>develop and identify strong sexual feelings. by the time they
>become men the only touch that's recognized as okay is sexual
>or athletic. platonic touch is all but lost.
>
>the writer says this is a problem for men's mental and
>emotional health.
>

---
but have you ever checked out my website? www.dtaylorimages.com

  

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SoWhat
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38. "k."
In response to Reply # 35


  

          

fuck you.

  

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akon
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54. "this i dont get: Trying to toughen your son "
In response to Reply # 35


  

          

against what exactly?
its not like he's going to hunting for his dinner
or he's headed out to raid another tribe
its 2015, for godsakes

what this typically means is teaching boys how to repress emotions
so as not to appear weak - the whole big boys dont cry thing
that also comes along with how we define 'masculine hetero alpha
actually, this is probably another issue to discuss-
because it does have repercussions

perhaps we should teach boys to be girls
we tend to be tougher anyway
(not physically maybe, but in ways that count in the longer run)

.
http://perspectivesudans.blogspot.com/
i myself would never want to be god,or even like god.Because god got all these human beings on this planet and i most certainly would not want to be responsible for them, or even have the disgrace that i made them.

  

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daryloneal
Member since Jan 08th 2005
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Wed Mar-25-15 07:53 PM

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62. "have you seen worldstar videos?"
In response to Reply # 54


  

          

Kids in Baltimore getting fucked up over Beats headphones on the bus. Sneakers. Etc.

Hell, these days I wouldn't blame parents for trying to toughen up their girls to prepare for some of these chicks out here.

But the bottom line is that the world generally doesn't respect a "soft" dude. Not in the street, not even in the corporate world.

And no, "soft" does not equal gay.


---
but have you ever checked out my website? www.dtaylorimages.com

  

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SoWhat
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72. "what does 'soft' mean?"
In response to Reply # 62


  

          

fuck you.

  

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daryloneal
Member since Jan 08th 2005
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Wed Mar-25-15 08:11 PM

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78. "It means that you don't stand up for yourself."
In response to Reply # 72
Wed Mar-25-15 08:12 PM by daryloneal

  

          

It means that you run and hide at any sign of trouble or difficult situation.

It means that you quit before you try.

---
but have you ever checked out my website? www.dtaylorimages.com

  

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SoWhat
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80. "oh okay."
In response to Reply # 78


  

          

how does w/holding hugs and caresses and cuddles from young boys teach them not to run from trouble?

fuck you.

  

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daryloneal
Member since Jan 08th 2005
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83. "I never said it was effective. My parents didn't do it."
In response to Reply # 80


  

          

I'm saying it's the intention.

---
but have you ever checked out my website? www.dtaylorimages.com

  

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SoWhat
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85. "cool, dude."
In response to Reply # 83


  

          

fuck you.

  

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akon
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76. "these bmore kids dont get enough love or hugs"
In response to Reply # 62


  

          

>Kids in Baltimore getting fucked up over Beats headphones on
>the bus. Sneakers. Etc.

which is why they react with violence
perhaps if they were held and cuddled more
they wouldnt be as fucked up
certainly if they came from a supportive and loving environment
they wouldn't be trying so hard to be aggressors and thugs
instead of being 'soft'
(and wtf does soft actually mean? being normal?)

.
http://perspectivesudans.blogspot.com/
i myself would never want to be god,or even like god.Because god got all these human beings on this planet and i most certainly would not want to be responsible for them, or even have the disgrace that i made them.

  

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SoWhat
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75. "misogyny is at the root of homophobia."
In response to Reply # 54


  

          

maybe we should cut to the chase call this 'weak' and 'soft' thing what it is - we condition our boys so they won't be 'weak' or 'soft' b/c those are feminine/womanly traits.

and, of course, one the reasons homosexuality among men makes us so uncomfortable is that those men are exhibiting womanly behavior. even if they're not effeminate they still have sex w/men. one or both of them even receives a penis in his mouth and/or anus. so one or both of them is acting like a woman.

and we hate women so we think men debase themselves where they behave like women.

if we honored women then homosexuality among men wouldn't bother us at all. we might even prize it.

but that's all getting too deep, maybe.

fuck you.

  

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akon
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87. "also often guised as "
In response to Reply # 75


  

          

women should be..... or act like...
and if they don't its problematic
it is misogynism/chauvinism to reduce women into caricatures
which often just means exerting a level of control over them that reduces them to children
y'all can call them gender roles if you want
this shit is exists because men benefit (or used to) from controlling women folk
(or rather as someone once told me... control reproduction)

but this is one thing i wonder
why then such men have a problem with dykes
is it because they challenge the whole notion of masculine being an ideal that belongs to a particular sex
or that its natural
or because they challenge the level of control a 'man' could/should have over how a woman identifies?

>and we hate women so we think men debase themselves where they
>behave like women.

>but that's all getting too deep, maybe.

no its not. its a logical conclusion

.
http://perspectivesudans.blogspot.com/
i myself would never want to be god,or even like god.Because god got all these human beings on this planet and i most certainly would not want to be responsible for them, or even have the disgrace that i made them.

  

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SoWhat
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88. "amen!"
In response to Reply # 87


  

          

>but this is one thing i wonder
>why then such men have a problem with dykes
>is it because they challenge the whole notion of masculine
>being an ideal that belongs to a particular sex
>or that its natural
>or because they challenge the level of control a 'man'
>could/should have over how a woman identifies?

i think it's all of that at the same time.

plus the existence of homosexuality among women makes many men feel erased. useless. it challenges their manhood. b/c for many men their manhood is tied up in their heterosexuality or in the idea that women 'need' them. so if there are women out there who don't 'need' them...then these men lose a piece of themselves and their manhood. it freaks them out.

fuck you.

  

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Ted Gee Seal
Member since Apr 18th 2007
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108. "Totally agree"
In response to Reply # 88


  

          

>>but this is one thing i wonder
>>why then such men have a problem with dykes
>>is it because they challenge the whole notion of masculine
>>being an ideal that belongs to a particular sex
>>or that its natural
>>or because they challenge the level of control a 'man'
>>could/should have over how a woman identifies?
>
>i think it's all of that at the same time.
>
>plus the existence of homosexuality among women makes many men
>feel erased. useless. it challenges their manhood. b/c for
>many men their manhood is tied up in their heterosexuality or
>in the idea that women 'need' them. so if there are women out
>there who don't 'need' them...then these men lose a piece of
>themselves and their manhood. it freaks them out.
>

I think it's the idea that society as a whole will just completely pass them by. When others can be fluid in who they are and the roles they play, these two dimensional characters will just be obsolete. Plus there might be a bit of self hate involved. All these guys who have poor attitudes towards women, and really, *really* look forward to the boys night out, or just any time away from the women in their lives. It nags at the back of the head that they feel this level of comfort among other men and they never feel it at home. I imagine the inability to process that mixed with the jealousy over other men who have been able to accept who they are leads to some pretty poor attitudes.

Just IMO though.

  

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SoWhat
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130. "Yup"
In response to Reply # 108


  

          

fuck you.

  

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Crisco
Member since May 21st 2003
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Thu Mar-26-15 09:41 AM

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193. "Dykes are the meanest people on the planet"
In response to Reply # 88


  

          

Alwyas tryna prove how manly they are.
You aint a man G. I will knock you out you cross that line

---------------------------------------
My Sig - Nig!!
Hip Hop is a perfect verse over a dope beat!!

Just a Day in the Life, Of a Playa for Life!!
My Datpiff Page
http://www.datpiff.com/JayfromJerz-and-DJ-Sat-One-The-Bee-Sides-mixtape.709908.html
http://

  

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blkprinceMD05
Member since Nov 29th 2004
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Thu Mar-26-15 11:43 AM

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226. "what is a dyke?"
In response to Reply # 193


  

          

and u have some issues u need to work out bro

prototype

stand ur ground, believe in urself,
believe in love, prepare urself for love, remove the negativity from ur life, and accept the love u kno u deserve

  

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BabySoulRebel
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218. "T H I S."
In response to Reply # 88


  

          

>plus the existence of homosexuality among women makes many men
>feel erased. useless. it challenges their manhood. b/c for
>many men their manhood is tied up in their heterosexuality or
>in the idea that women 'need' them. so if there are women out
>there who don't 'need' them...then these men lose a piece of
>themselves and their manhood. it freaks them out.



here for dis.

  

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Novembersgift
Member since Oct 19th 2004
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Fri Mar-27-15 01:44 PM

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422. "If this ain't an oasis in a desert full of sexist, patriarchal apologia...."
In response to Reply # 75


  

          

You and Akon spit a word.

  

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kayru99
Member since Jan 26th 2004
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289. "thinking of it as a binary is a HUGE problem as well"
In response to Reply # 54


          

HUMANS need touch, and compassion and love.

Hell, so do most animals...

We shouldn't raise boys as boys or girls as girls in the strictest binary sense, cuz both of the western conceptions of gender roles have major major issues

  

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Kim Jong Trill
Member since Jan 31st 2012
548 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 02:45 PM

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298. "you toughen your son up to be prepared for life"
In response to Reply # 54


  

          

you teach him to "man up" so that he can be resilient at whatever trials that life throws at him. You teach him to toughen up so that he has the strength and fortitude to keep pushing because it's 2015, for godsake.



>against what exactly?
>its not like he's going to hunting for his dinner
>or he's headed out to raid another tribe
>its 2015, for godsakes
>
>what this typically means is teaching boys how to repress
>emotions
>so as not to appear weak - the whole big boys dont cry thing
>that also comes along with how we define 'masculine hetero
>alpha
>actually, this is probably another issue to discuss-
>because it does have repercussions
>
>perhaps we should teach boys to be girls
>we tend to be tougher anyway
>(not physically maybe, but in ways that count in the longer
>run)
>


Fuck your fort!

  

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akon
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106. "an aside: blue for boys, pink for girls"
In response to Reply # 35


  

          

i really like this article
mainly because i think it (somehow) touches on how we construct notions of what is gender-appropriate
and nothing says more than blue for boys and pink for girls and what that supposedly represents

http://www.npr.org/2014/04/01/297159948/girls-are-taught-to-think-pink-but-that-wasnt-always-so

brief swipe...
" a 1918 trade catalog for children's clothing recommended blue for girls. The reasoning at the time was that it's a "much more delicate and dainty tone," Finamore says. Pink was recommended for boys "because it's a stronger and more passionate color, and because it's actually derived from red."

To our 21st century ears, all this men in pink stuff may sound a bit blushy. "It's so deeply entrenched in us and our culture," says Finamore. "We think of pink as such a girlish color, but it's really a post-World War II phenomenon."

.
http://perspectivesudans.blogspot.com/
i myself would never want to be god,or even like god.Because god got all these human beings on this planet and i most certainly would not want to be responsible for them, or even have the disgrace that i made them.

  

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kayru99
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292. "yeah, i had to read this a while ago for some marketing research"
In response to Reply # 106


          

which brings up another point that is often lost in these discussions:

How much money has corporations made by limiting individual imagination?

Meaning, people are easily, easily programmed to do...just about everything. I think we kind of do a disservice to ourselves when we leave out the profit motive and marketing out of all of this.

  

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lfresh
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Wed Mar-25-15 07:03 PM

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31. "I call bullshit on your bullshit"
In response to Reply # 20


  

          

Once again
Preference is something STILL done
NOT not done AT ALL
Esp on the basis of preconceived notions
That's prejudice
~~~~
When you are born, you cry, and the world rejoices. Live so that when you die, you rejoice, and the world cries.
~~~~
You cannot hate people for their own good.

  

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daryloneal
Member since Jan 08th 2005
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Wed Mar-25-15 07:07 PM

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32. "have no idea what you're getting at."
In response to Reply # 31


  

          

---
but have you ever checked out my website? www.dtaylorimages.com

  

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SoWhat
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34. "he's missing the point."
In response to Reply # 31


  

          

the author says it's problematic that boys lose the ability to touch or be touched platonically and that causes us trouble as men.

men can be touched platonically by women and other men w/o regard for their romantic or sexual orientation. it's possible and men all over the world experience it. we're in here talking about it happening in several African cultures, for example. and the men in those places are often virulently homophobic but still okay w/platonic touching among men. but homophobia operates here in our culture to block this platonic touch among men. men don't touch each other very often platonically to avoid being labeled as homosexual. it even happens to me and i'm gay as fuck. i don't touch other men platonically BECAUSE i'm gay and i don't want them to think i'm coming on to them. i don't want to make them or others uncomfortable.

i totally see what the author is saying.

fuck you.

  

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lfresh
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40. "He is"
In response to Reply # 34


  

          

completely
~~~~
When you are born, you cry, and the world rejoices. Live so that when you die, you rejoice, and the world cries.
~~~~
You cannot hate people for their own good.

  

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SoWhat
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41. "possibly b/c of the 'homophobia' thing."
In response to Reply # 40


  

          

ppl tie themselves in knots to avoid having their actions or viewpoints labeled as homophobic.

the author's main point is that touch isolation among men is harmful to men's mental and emotional well-being. it's not really about homophobia - the phobia is only the catalyst.

fuck you.

  

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lfresh
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71. "agreed"
In response to Reply # 41


  

          


~~~~
When you are born, you cry, and the world rejoices. Live so that when you die, you rejoice, and the world cries.
~~~~
You cannot hate people for their own good.

  

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SoWhat
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73. "he's confirmed it repeatedly. LOL"
In response to Reply # 71


  

          

fuck you.

  

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daryloneal
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42. "I'm not missing it (although I didn't get the gibberish that she just sa..."
In response to Reply # 34
Wed Mar-25-15 07:19 PM by daryloneal

  

          

Many men are disconnected from touch.

I just don't agree that the issue is rooted primarily in homophobia.

And also, when we say platonic touch, what are we talking about?

Hugs?

Kisses?

Holding hands?

A friendly groping of balls?

Because part of the discomfort in that some of that coming from a man is that it. doesn't. feel. good.

But at the same time, I just gave two examples of platonic touch that are accepted with love.

---
but have you ever checked out my website? www.dtaylorimages.com

  

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mc_delta_t
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44. "Your logic makes no sense..."
In response to Reply # 42


  

          

Are womens and mens hands so different that touch from one feels so far from the other that you can even really have a preference?

There's strong women with rough hands, there's weak men with baby palms. I'd bet you a million dollars you couldn't tell the difference between a mans and a womans touch blind everything else being equal.

  

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daryloneal
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46. "Two things:"
In response to Reply # 44
Wed Mar-25-15 07:32 PM by daryloneal

  

          

1st - Holding hands with a manhandsasswoman wouldn't feel good either.

If it doesn't feel good, it doesn't feel good.

2nd - There are different views on platonic. As an adult, personally, I don't hold hands with women I'm not romantically connected to in some way (with the exception being family). To me holding hands is intimate. Some people do, personally I don't. So yes, even if a dude has soft hands, I don't do it because I don't desire romantic intimacy from him.

The only exceptions are my mother and aunts because we do it playfully sometimes to return to childhood times, and my grandfather that is in a nursing home.

Hugs on the other hand are just fine.

---
but have you ever checked out my website? www.dtaylorimages.com

  

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SoWhat
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47. "platonic touch isn't so much about physical pleasure."
In response to Reply # 46


  

          

it's about physical intimacy but not necessarily physical pleasure. it is communication more than anything.

i don't hug my aunties b/c it feels good when their titties smush against my chest. is that why you hug yours? or do you hug them b/c you want to communicate something?

same would go for putting your arms around your homie as y'all watch a movie. or holding hands after you finish playing basketball.

hell, why do athletes slap each others' asses? not b/c they like feeling on each others' booties, is it? no, it's b/c they're communicating w/each other.

again, the same would be true of resting your leg over your brother's as you sit on a couch and watch football. it's not about how good it feels physically to have your leg all up on his but about what you're saying to each other via the touch.

fuck you.

  

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daryloneal
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49. "And this is what I mean, though."
In response to Reply # 47


  

          

People view platonic differently. So if I don't do certain things with a man, it isn't because I'm homophobic, it's because I don't do that with any platonic friends, including women.

Not attempting to deny that homophobia exists for many men in those scenarios, I just don't believe that to be the primary root.

That's the only thing I'm calling bullshit on.


>it's about physical intimacy but not necessarily physical
>pleasure. it is communication more than anything.
>
>i don't hug my aunties b/c it feels good when their titties
>smush against my chest. is that why you hug yours? or do you
>hug them b/c you want to communicate something?
>
>same would go for putting your arms around your homie as y'all
>watch a movie. or holding hands after you finish playing
>basketball.
>
>hell, why do athletes slap each others' asses? not b/c they
>like feeling on each others' booties, is it? no, it's b/c
>they're communicating w/each other.
>
>again, the same would be true of resting your leg over your
>brother's as you sit on a couch and watch football. it's not
>about how good it feels physically to have your leg all up on
>his but about what you're saying to each other via the touch.
>

---
but have you ever checked out my website? www.dtaylorimages.com

  

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SoWhat
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52. "LORD HAVE MERCY JESUS."
In response to Reply # 49
Wed Mar-25-15 07:47 PM by SoWhat

  

          

you are not a bad person if you avoid platonic touch w/other men b/c it feels wrong or gay. it's not your fault. you are blameless. you were conditioned that way and can't help it. if you never get over it it's not a judgment on you it's on the way you were brought up. it is not your fault.

i myself am pretty homophobic. i think we gays are the most homophobic ppl on the planet. even us out gays. i said below - i limit my platonic touching of other men EVEN GAY ONES b/c i don't want to make them uncomfortable. b/c i am projecting my own internalized homophobia. and i think i'm awesome even though i'm also a homophobe.

so if you are one (and sorry, but you are) it's not your fault. you are not a bad person. you aren't deficient b/c of it. it's not about you it's about your conditioning.

(see Com? i'm extending my hand in love. platonically though).

fuck you.

  

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Dstl1
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61. "LOL."
In response to Reply # 52


          

.

...cleaned up my act, made a few violent songs...but, they wack like Glen Rice with New Balance on - Sean Price

  

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daryloneal
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74. "Let's be very clear, fam. You don't know me. Hell, I don't even.."
In response to Reply # 52
Wed Mar-25-15 08:08 PM by daryloneal

  

          

know your real name.

So do not label me something I am not, because I respect you enough (even through our back and forth on this site), to not label you.

You don't know how I was brought up. I could tell you about it but it wouldn't change anything and that's fine.

I respect your position on this topic, but I do not agree with it.

And that's fine.

But let's respect each other.


---
but have you ever checked out my website? www.dtaylorimages.com

  

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SoWhat
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77. "i am very clear."
In response to Reply # 74


  

          

>So do not label me something I am not, because I respect you
>enough (even through our back and forth on this site), to not
>label you.

you. are. a. homo. phobe.

>You don't know how I was brought up. I could tell you about
>it but it wouldn't change anything and that's fine.

you were brought up to be a homophobe.

i know b/c of what you've said in this post and others. this ain't my first day on the Internet.

>I respect your position on this topic, but I do not agree with
>it.
>
>And that's fine.
>
>But let's respect each other.

i respect you as much as i respect any other relatively anonymous Internet stranger who is also a homophobe like me.

fuck you.

  

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daryloneal
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81. "well, that just about does it then."
In response to Reply # 77


  

          

---
but have you ever checked out my website? www.dtaylorimages.com

  

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SoWhat
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86. "i sure hope so!"
In response to Reply # 81


  

          

fuck you.

  

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lfresh
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79. "Lol to get this back on track"
In response to Reply # 52


  

          

I never gave much thought to the gay community and touch and it affecting them

One thing to think about though is just American culture in general isn't the most touchy feeling
And African Americans
Maybe it's my dads side of the family but a few years ago we decided to make a conscious effort because we realized we barely hugged each other
And since we were so out of practice it was awkward at first
Ironically my dad always made it a point to hug
Maybe he realized this I don't know

Fir me I avoided it and work on it
Because my mom was and IS touchy feely and the apt I grew up in is narrow
And looking back she got a huge kick out of my skittishness
I swear the woman was always tryna hug me to the pont I know I hurt her feelings quite a few times

Anyways my question is what are the racial and ethnic mixes of your circles?
Is there a difference in touch and comfort level?


~~~~
When you are born, you cry, and the world rejoices. Live so that when you die, you rejoice, and the world cries.
~~~~
You cannot hate people for their own good.

  

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SoWhat
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84. "i have black friends who are more touchy-feely than i am."
In response to Reply # 79


  

          

in fact i see them limit their desire to reach out and touch me b/c they recognize my reticence.

i also have non-black friends who are touchy-feely and some that aren't.

i do think culture plays a big role in this. i suspect Americans started limiting platonic touch as part of an effort to separate themselves from newly arrived immigrants. and the American-no-touch thing likely has some roots w/the Puritans who may have thought they were being pious and more God-like by avoiding platonic touch. b/c, hell, they also largely avoided romantic or sexual touch, i think.

so, yeah. i agree that the touch isolation bit doesn't have to be about homophobia. which i've said in here more than once. lol

fuck you.

  

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lfresh
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89. "Okay it was just me that got side tracked then lol"
In response to Reply # 84
Wed Mar-25-15 08:27 PM by lfresh

  

          

Ugh this dude

I do agree it's concerning like you as a person who works on this

I forgot about the country' puritanical roots
It's where we have our weirdness about sex and nudity in general as well

This might be a weird one
I quirked an eyebrow at those hugging parties when they popped up
But they maybe more needed than I oreviously gave credit for

Also it stems from the whole men and women can't be platonic friends thing
When did society get so damned sexualized?!



I hate auto correct with a passion
~~~~
When you are born, you cry, and the world rejoices. Live so that when you die, you rejoice, and the world cries.
~~~~
You cannot hate people for their own good.

  

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SoWhat
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94. "RE: Okay it was just me that got side tracked then lol"
In response to Reply # 89


  

          

>Ugh this dude

ikr?

>I do agree it's concerning like you as a person who works on
>this
>
>I forgot about the country' puritanical roots
>It's where we have our weirdness about sex and nudity in
>general as well

i saw a documentary on PBS about the history of Italians in America and learned that many Italians turned away from much of their Italian cultural behavior as part of their assimilation process to become Americans (aka 'white') as opposed to Italians. reading your reply about your family reminded me of that and i wonder if many American immigrants lost platonic touch b/c they wanted to be more like the Americans. also, thinking about the hand-holding i saw in Ghana and have read about in this post also made me wonder if immigrants drop platonic touch in a desire to assimilate. but i dunno for sure.

>This might be a weird one
>I quirked an eyebrow at those hugging parties when they popped
>up
>But they maybe more needed than I oreviously gave credit for

damn. that's good. i hadn't thought of that in this context. i tend to agree w/you.

>Also it stems from the whole men and women can't be platonic
>friends thing
>When did society get so damned sexualized?!

i like what the author said - once platonic touch is lost then the only touch that remain are sexual and athletic, it seems.

>I hate auto correct with a passion

LOL

fuck you.

  

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lfresh
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102. "We might be getting somewhere "
In response to Reply # 94


  

          

The homophobia is strong no doubt

Hip hop turned on its damn self by mid 90s
You can see it w Dame and L Jamal and dudes I know for that era still policing other dudes masculinity

It yes there have to be Americans xenophobic reaction to immigrants and the huge push to assimilate that didn't abate until at least the 80s
And we still play to that w TV characters that 70s show and Wilmer Valderama an Sophia Vergara. Fresh off the boat might be the first to turn that around on Americans abd our weirdness


We might need more of that in examining our cultural aversion touch esp among males

  

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akon
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107. "i see it with my lil cousins"
In response to Reply # 94
Wed Mar-25-15 09:17 PM by akon

  

          

> i wonder if many American immigrants
>lost platonic touch b/c they wanted to be more like the
>Americans. also, thinking about the hand-holding i saw in
>Ghana and have read about in this post also made me wonder if
>immigrants drop platonic touch in a desire to assimilate. but
>i dunno for sure.

they are definitely uncomfortable with physical touch
my lil cuz was a little shook when he came to nairobi
(and we definitely live in the middle-upper class part of town)
they are very quick to label many things as being 'gay'

and its funny cause my uncles are for the most part still okay with touch
i dont know about how they are 'out' there in public/ with american friends

the kids though... these kids are fucked up for the most part
american culture is very destructive.
especially if you are poor.

.
http://perspectivesudans.blogspot.com/
i myself would never want to be god,or even like god.Because god got all these human beings on this planet and i most certainly would not want to be responsible for them, or even have the disgrace that i made them.

  

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lfresh
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127. ":("
In response to Reply # 107


  

          


~~~~
When you are born, you cry, and the world rejoices. Live so that when you die, you rejoice, and the world cries.
~~~~
You cannot hate people for their own good.

  

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akon
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93. "eh, i dont know."
In response to Reply # 84


  

          

because i do think it is largely framed in the context of its perceived as being gay

i dont know about the puritans- im pretty sure they were sexually repressed (i mean, protestant ethic and all)
but i do think they were more comfortable with touch than the average american male is today
and i think it has become part of the american culture to disassociate with each other (i first heard about 'personal space' here"

from the article,
(i love that they have black folk in this, i was afraid it would not be the case.
but maybe these people just didnt have enough chairs, lol)

http://www.filmsforaction.org/news/bosom_buddies_a_photo_history_of_male_affection/

"And if you think men have always been hands-off with each other, have a look at an amazing collection of historic photos compiled by Brett and Kate McKay for an article they titled: Bosom Buddies: A Photo History of Male Affection. It’s a remarkable look at male camaraderie as expressed though physical touch in photos dating back to the earliest days of photography."

The McKays note in their article the following observation:

But at the turn of the 20th century, … Thinking of men as either “homosexual” or “heterosexual” became common. And this new category of identity was at the same time pathologized — decried by psychiatrists as a mental illness, by ministers as a perversion, and by politicians as something to be legislated against. As this new conception of homosexuality as a stigmatized and onerous identifier took root in American culture, men began to be much more careful to not send messages to other men, and to women, that they were gay. And this is the reason why, it is theorized, men have become less comfortable with showing affection towards each other over the last century.

.
http://perspectivesudans.blogspot.com/
i myself would never want to be god,or even like god.Because god got all these human beings on this planet and i most certainly would not want to be responsible for them, or even have the disgrace that i made them.

  

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SoWhat
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96. "oh yeah. you're on to something there."
In response to Reply # 93


  

          

so now i dunno.

or maybe the immigrants stop touching each other b/c they want to fit in w/Americans who think all touch is sexual (or athletic).

but that still brings us back to the homophobia/misogyny.

so, damn.

fuck you.

  

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lfresh
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99. "Yeah I dunno"
In response to Reply # 96


  

          

It's definitely not 100 percent
But its a large percent

Would the spread of disease and awareness also gave something to do with it?

Not denying btw
Just trying to cover all possibilities
~~~~
When you are born, you cry, and the world rejoices. Live so that when you die, you rejoice, and the world cries.
~~~~
You cannot hate people for their own good.

  

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SoWhat
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101. "i agree."
In response to Reply # 99


  

          

fuck you.

  

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akon
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57. "this is sad: any physical touch= romance"
In response to Reply # 46


  

          


even holding hands?
and its considered childish??

you have a low threshold for intimacy
and by the way, intimacy also does not equal romantic entanglement

.
http://perspectivesudans.blogspot.com/
i myself would never want to be god,or even like god.Because god got all these human beings on this planet and i most certainly would not want to be responsible for them, or even have the disgrace that i made them.

  

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daryloneal
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63. "You absolutely just made that up. It's not worth me responding."
In response to Reply # 57


  

          

---
but have you ever checked out my website? www.dtaylorimages.com

  

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SoWhat
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45. "sure, guy."
In response to Reply # 42


  

          

>I just don't agree that the issue is rooted primarily in
>homophobia.

uh huh.

>And also, when we say platonic touch, what are we talking
>about?
>
>Hugs?
>
>Kisses?
>
>Holding hands?
>
>A friendly groping of balls?

^^ see? there i

never mind. LOL.

>Because part of the discomfort in that some of that coming
>from a man is that it. doesn't. feel. good.

*sigh*

>But at the same time, I just gave two examples of platonic
>touch that are accepted with love.

there are places where platonic touch goes beyond a hug and a handshake. that's the author's point.

yes, hand holding. yes, hugging. but even lounging on each other. platonically. cuddling, even. platonically. the sort of touching we see between parents and children. but when i say 'children' i really mean girls b/c boys get a lot less of it. and why? you brought it up earlier - we think we're conditioning them to deal w/a rough world. we're toughing them up. but we're also teaching them some bad lessons, i think. we're teaching them to be distant. cold. to lock their feelings away. and we teach them that touchy-feely stuff is for girls b/c we touch our girl children way after we lessen the amount we touch our boy children.

akon mentioned earlier that there are a significant number of men who won't even sit next to their men friends in a movie or on public transportation. b/c that's 'gay shit'. we need to stretch out...and we don't want our knee touching our homie's knee when we do it. b/c that's some 'gay shit'.

but the point isn't so much about homophobia as it's about what happens when boys and men are isolated from platonic touch. regardless of why it happens, it happens and it's not good. it probably does us more harm than good.

there are men around the world who don't suffer as much touch isolation as we do. and they're still tough. macho. maybe we can teach our boys to become tough men w/o isolating them from platonic touch.

fuck you.

  

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daryloneal
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48. "RE: sure, guy."
In response to Reply # 45
Wed Mar-25-15 07:40 PM by daryloneal

  

          

The flaw in that view of a lot of that "next level" platonic touching is that (just speaking for myself), I don't do that with platonic women friends. Even as a single man I didn't do that.

So I don't disagree with the overarching point of men lacking touch due to being conditioned to be tough, I just see flaws in the argument linking it to homophobia.

---
but have you ever checked out my website? www.dtaylorimages.com

  

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SoWhat
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53. "k."
In response to Reply # 48


  

          

fuck you.

  

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akon
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64. "okay, maybe we should link it to it being seen as 'weak'?"
In response to Reply # 48


  

          


i.e it's a weakness?
which is equally problematic
but honestly its code for 'that's gay'

even the whole, im teaching my son to be tough
is harmful
human beings are social creatures
and part of that is that we react positively to touch.
be it hugs, holding hands etc. and thats not gender-based
although we make it so
i feel sad for little boys who aren't held enough
because we want to toughen them against society
(even that statement is beyond pathetic to me)

.
http://perspectivesudans.blogspot.com/
i myself would never want to be god,or even like god.Because god got all these human beings on this planet and i most certainly would not want to be responsible for them, or even have the disgrace that i made them.

  

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SoWhat
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69. "it's so sad!"
In response to Reply # 64


  

          

like, why not fix society so we can touch our boys as we know they need it.

shit.

i agree...just reading that stuff made me sad.

fuck you.

  

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MiracleRic
Member since Oct 21st 2002
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Fri Mar-27-15 08:17 AM

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398. "nah, not code for gay "
In response to Reply # 64


  

          

it's reversing the causal relationship and possibly conflating 2 separate issues

misogyny isn't caused by homophobia...what u are describing is men not wanting to be viewed as women NOR gays...so no it's not code for gays

being perceived as feminine is not the same as being perceived as gay

some people conflate the 2...and homophobia tends to intentionally do that...it's homophobic to even suggest that feminine men = gay. Plenty of people are homophobic and do so...but even if they weren't homophobic...they would still view being seen as feminine as problematic

how far u take your social dysfunction is personal but homophobia being the cause rather than the last stop of the crazy train is assbackwards

Avoiding feminine behaviors usually is either a conservative, puritanical, and/or odd attachment to gender roles or misogyny...often those 2 sides of the coin are connected but it's not necessarily a causal relationship...the former typically causes the latter...not the other way around when that does happen

i think we are really not examining the causal relationships properly/critically

Let me sport my Air Hyperbole 2010s in peace. (c) ansomble

Building repetoires (c) spm since 1983

  

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Billy Ray Valentine
Member since Jul 08th 2005
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65. "They pierce dicks and mutilate genitals in Africa too so there's that"
In response to Reply # 34


  

          

"when I was growin' up if we wanted a jacuzzi we had to fart in the tub!"

  

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akon
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68. "such a wierd tangent. "
In response to Reply # 65


  

          

>

.
http://perspectivesudans.blogspot.com/
i myself would never want to be god,or even like god.Because god got all these human beings on this planet and i most certainly would not want to be responsible for them, or even have the disgrace that i made them.

  

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Binlahab
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21. "I dont want no man touching me, and I'm totally ok with that"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

I dont need you to touch me and I won't touch you

If that makes me a phobe, so be it.

Men are repulsive


does it really matter?

wonder what bin's doing?
http://i.imgur.com/phECCMp.jpg

  

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akon
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23. "i wonder how many women think this"
In response to Reply # 21


  

          


>Men are repulsive

.
http://perspectivesudans.blogspot.com/
i myself would never want to be god,or even like god.Because god got all these human beings on this planet and i most certainly would not want to be responsible for them, or even have the disgrace that i made them.

  

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Binlahab
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24. "at this point it appears all of yall"
In response to Reply # 23


  

          

I predict man dies out in a few centuries


does it really matter?

wonder what bin's doing?
http://i.imgur.com/phECCMp.jpg

  

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akon
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90. "if yall are repulsive, why should women want you?"
In response to Reply # 24


  

          

this is what im trying to understand

at this point its like y'all are trying hard to ensure your own extinction

i mean... even drove 80% of the women from okp.

.
http://perspectivesudans.blogspot.com/
i myself would never want to be god,or even like god.Because god got all these human beings on this planet and i most certainly would not want to be responsible for them, or even have the disgrace that i made them.

  

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Binlahab
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109. "whose y'all? I'm one of the most attractive human beings on earth."
In response to Reply # 90


  

          

Rest of the Male species is in a hurt locker

  

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Teknontheou
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39. "Lots, right? Isn't that the prevailing wisdom?"
In response to Reply # 23


  

          

  

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akon
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98. "not really"
In response to Reply # 39


  

          

im just following bin's limited thought process

why would anyone want something repulsive?

.
http://perspectivesudans.blogspot.com/
i myself would never want to be god,or even like god.Because god got all these human beings on this planet and i most certainly would not want to be responsible for them, or even have the disgrace that i made them.

  

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lfresh
Member since Jun 18th 2002
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Wed Mar-25-15 08:13 PM

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82. "as a teen"
In response to Reply # 23


  

          

Because of catcalls and such I avoided hugging non family member dudes

~~~~
When you are born, you cry, and the world rejoices. Live so that when you die, you rejoice, and the world cries.
~~~~
You cannot hate people for their own good.

  

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akon
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95. "i cant stand in front of a man in close quarters"
In response to Reply # 82


  

          

not unless i know them
and that's because when i was a kid in nairobi
and had to take the bus to school
(back when they used to pack us in the buses like sardines)
a man shoved his dick in my back and i had to stand there until i got off
man i was a kid, for gods sakes
and i was uncomfortable without even knowing for sure why.

we need to teach our boys to grow up as better men

.
http://perspectivesudans.blogspot.com/
i myself would never want to be god,or even like god.Because god got all these human beings on this planet and i most certainly would not want to be responsible for them, or even have the disgrace that i made them.

  

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SoWhat
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30. "LULZ! willful ignorance is so charming and funny."
In response to Reply # 21


  

          

you're the best, guy.

LULZIES@!!!

fuck you.

  

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Lach
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112. "Not wanting to be touched by a man is now ignorant?"
In response to Reply # 30


  

          

  

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SoWhat
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123. "yes. like your reading of my reply."
In response to Reply # 112


  

          

fuck you.

  

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Vex_id
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33. "I didn't realize this until my friends (a gay male couple) enlightened m..."
In response to Reply # 0


          

as until then I never really considered why it was that straight men
are so reflexively repulsed by any type of "touching" amongst men.

But when I first started hanging w/ them, we would greet and it always
very awkward as I would go for the typical dap and hand clasp rhythm
greeting, and they would go for the hug. Then they stopped going for the hug
because - as they stated - they didn't want to make me "feel uncomfortable."

After a few years of friendship, i became comfortable w/ greeting them with
a hug (although I don't identify culturally w/ the kiss on the cheek that they
engage in w/ other friends, even though that's a european greeting and
not a 'gay' greeting per se) - but it helped me realize that hugging another
guy isn't 'gay' - and there's nothing to be uncomfortable about except perhaps
not confronting conditioned homophobia that says men aren't allowed to hug
other men. That said, I challenge straight men like myself to ask whether they
greet their brother/father/grandfather w/ an affectionate hug - as I'd wager
many of them do.

-->

  

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SoWhat
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37. "you see it."
In response to Reply # 33


  

          

i don't hug my male relatives b/c i don't want to make them uncomfortable. b/c they know i'm gay and i don't want them to think i'm coming on to them or feeling them up for a cheap thrill. it's my own internalized homophobia that i project on them which creates distance between us. it makes me very sad.

same w/my friends - even my GAY friends. i don't hug many of them for this same reason. i said above - i have gay friends i've known for 15 yrs and i can count on 2 hands the number of times we've touched beyond a hug. and i wouldn't need all 10 fingers. that too makes me sad.

fuck you.

  

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Vex_id
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50. "that's unfortunate that you have to do that w/ relatives"
In response to Reply # 37


          

but it's just where our society is at unfortunately. At some point,
as straight men we have to get over ourselves and realize that
just because a man is gay doesn't mean he's attracted to us or
wants to cop a feel by greeting us lol - it's such a ridiculous phobia
but most straight men have it. I use to have that phobia as well but
realized that I hug women (and males in my family) with not a second
thought of whether they are trying to inappropriately grope me.

That's interesting that this applies to your gay friends as well. I never
thought about the expansiveness of homophobia as affecting how they
interact and perceive their masculinity but that's an interesting layer
I hadn't even considered.


-->

  

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isaaaa
Member since May 10th 2007
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43. "I prefer a head nod lol"
In response to Reply # 33


          


Anti-gentrification, cheap alcohol & trying to look pretty in our twilight posting years (c) Big Reg


Get 25% off www.karmaloop.com w/ rep code JR9103 |
Nike, G-Star, Herschel, Adidas (Men's & Women's clothing)

  

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Vex_id
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58. "lol do you hug male members of your family tho?"
In response to Reply # 43


          

Or is it just like 'nah fam we good w/ a head-nod from across the room' lol

-->

  

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Buddy_Gilapagos
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59. "Also as a matter of logic, how they know the dudes in the pics"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

ain't gay?

Like these dudes

http://content.artofmanliness.com/uploads//2012/07/friendsportrait12.jpg

http://content.artofmanliness.com/uploads//2012/07/port1.jpg


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson


"One of the most important things in life is what Judge Learned Hand described as 'that ever-gnawing inner doubt as to whether you're

  

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SoWhat
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70. "b/c there weren't gay ppl back then."
In response to Reply # 59


  

          

ppl didn't identify as 'gay' around the times those pix were likely taken.

see: 'The Invention of Heterosexuality' - http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/shows/assault/context/katzhistory.html

and also b/c the touch we see in those pix ain't sexual or romantic. it's something else. but that can be hard for us to identify b/c we're not used to seeing men touch each other that way UNLESS it's sexual or romantic.

that's us projecting our stuff on them.

fuck you.

  

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Buddy_Gilapagos
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174. "Then what the heck was Oscar Wilde put on trial for?!?"
In response to Reply # 70


  

          


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson


"One of the most important things in life is what Judge Learned Hand described as 'that ever-gnawing inner doubt as to whether you're

  

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SoWhat
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200. "For engaging in homosexual acts."
In response to Reply # 174


  

          

fuck you.

  

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MME
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60. "I blame hip hop"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

____________________________

FUCK DONALD TRUMP

  

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Cenario
Member since Aug 24th 2005
56981 posts
Wed Mar-25-15 08:34 PM

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92. "what are daps/hugs?"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

Or you mean stuff like resting your knee on another nigga knee under the table?

Lol no thanks. That's why you cushion your surroundings with 2 ladies or ask for a bigger table.

-The Knicks’ coaching search still includes a lone frontrunner, Kurt Rambis, whose qualifications for the position include a strong relationship with Jackson and a willingness to take the job.

  

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lfresh
Member since Jun 18th 2002
92693 posts
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97. "See that's that bullshit"
In response to Reply # 92


  

          


>
>Lol no thanks. That's why you cushion your surroundings with 2
>ladies or ask for a bigger table.

And then yall space hog like it's cute
It's not cross or close your damn legs
Keep your arms and elbows to your damn sides

That's not "manly"
It's sloppy

~~~~
When you are born, you cry, and the world rejoices. Live so that when you die, you rejoice, and the world cries.
~~~~
You cannot hate people for their own good.

  

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Boogie Stimuli
Member since Sep 24th 2010
13093 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 03:06 PM

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309. "Sociologists argue it's about expressing power..."
In response to Reply # 97


          

>That's not "manly"
>It's sloppy


http://www.scienceofpeople.com/2012/03/why-men-take-up-so-much-space-why-men-take-up-so-much-space-why-men-take-up-so-much-space/

http://thesocietypages.org/socimages/2013/12/27/gendered-and-the-body-language-of-power/

~
~
~
~
~
"Until you get outta my way, I don't wanna hear what you say aye aye"

  

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akon
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100. "why? you trynna rest your knee on the two ladies?"
In response to Reply # 92


  

          


>Lol no thanks. That's why you cushion your surroundings with 2
>ladies or ask for a bigger table.

this is just funny to me at this point

i feel like i need to make sure i sit at a distance from dudes
this post is illuminating

id be thinking im being platonic, meanwhile...

.
http://perspectivesudans.blogspot.com/
i myself would never want to be god,or even like god.Because god got all these human beings on this planet and i most certainly would not want to be responsible for them, or even have the disgrace that i made them.

  

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lfresh
Member since Jun 18th 2002
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103. "Lol it's platonic"
In response to Reply # 100


  

          

But it's hrm
More a power play
And territorial space grab
~~~~
When you are born, you cry, and the world rejoices. Live so that when you die, you rejoice, and the world cries.
~~~~
You cannot hate people for their own good.

  

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double negative
Member since Dec 14th 2007
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Wed Mar-25-15 09:01 PM

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105. "i mean, go and watch 'Swingers' and see how much has changed even then"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

those dudes were all over each other in the clubs and it was what it was

***********************************************************
https://soundcloud.com/swageyph/yph-die-with-me

  

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Ted Gee Seal
Member since Apr 18th 2007
10084 posts
Wed Mar-25-15 09:35 PM

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110. "I remember talking to a guy in high school about it"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

He was dead set against hugging.

I tried running through some scenarios. No dice.

But then, I remember how big a Rugby fan he is.

So I say:

We've just won the world cup. Player is coming off the field, down the corridor, having just kicked the winning points. He's ecstatic, and walks up to you for a congratulatory hug.

"No, I think a handshake would do it."

0_0

Just IMO though.

  

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Goldmind
Member since Oct 28th 2004
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111. "I'm surprised when my straight male friends & colleagues want to hug me"
In response to Reply # 0


          

A few of them *insist* on hugging me, brushing off my attempt to give dap or a handshake when I see them. I'm even caught off guard when my 25-year-old cousin bear hugs me, even though he's been doing it for years now.

It makes me sad that I would assume that they wouldn't want to embrace me, that my affection is only safe at arm's length. Homophobia has given me intimacy issues, even in my friendships.

  

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akon
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113. "aww. *hugs*"
In response to Reply # 111


  

          

.
http://perspectivesudans.blogspot.com/
i myself would never want to be god,or even like god.Because god got all these human beings on this planet and i most certainly would not want to be responsible for them, or even have the disgrace that i made them.

  

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Goldmind
Member since Oct 28th 2004
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Wed Mar-25-15 10:17 PM

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114. "RE: aww. *hugs*"
In response to Reply # 113


          

Miss you shawty!

  

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akon
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362. "I need to come to nyc soon!"
In response to Reply # 114


  

          

>Miss you shawty!

.
http://perspectivesudans.blogspot.com/
i myself would never want to be god,or even like god.Because god got all these human beings on this planet and i most certainly would not want to be responsible for them, or even have the disgrace that i made them.

  

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lfresh
Member since Jun 18th 2002
92693 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 07:55 AM

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131. "=( *hugs*"
In response to Reply # 111


  

          


~~~~
When you are born, you cry, and the world rejoices. Live so that when you die, you rejoice, and the world cries.
~~~~
You cannot hate people for their own good.

  

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SoWhat
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Thu Mar-26-15 08:31 AM

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138. "our conditioning has been conditioned."
In response to Reply # 111


  

          

fuck you.

  

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Niq96st
Member since Jun 16th 2005
8396 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 09:14 AM

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164. ":( This made me sad. "
In response to Reply # 111


  

          


_______________________________
Maintain chill at all times.

  

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Damali
Member since Sep 12th 2002
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Thu Mar-26-15 11:48 AM

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234. "me too :/"
In response to Reply # 164


          

  

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Brotha Sun
Member since Dec 31st 2009
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256. "Damn"
In response to Reply # 111


          

"They used to call me Baby Luke....but now? The whole damn 2 Liiiive Crew."

  

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PROMO
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115. "wait, so if i don't want to hold my male friends' hands..."
In response to Reply # 0
Wed Mar-25-15 10:19 PM by PROMO

  

          

it's because of homophobic conditioning?

STAND OUT HAND OUTS: http://basquiatwhenipaint.tumblr.com

TWEET ME: @PROMO206

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
67626 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 06:07 AM

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121. "yeah... no"
In response to Reply # 115


          

  

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SoWhat
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Thu Mar-26-15 06:17 AM

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124. "no, it's b/c of SATAN."
In response to Reply # 115


  

          

fuck you.

  

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Heinz
Member since Dec 26th 2003
20108 posts
Wed Mar-25-15 10:26 PM

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116. "Oh well, SoWhat?"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          


____

TWITTER : Heinz21st

IG : H_N_Z

  

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SoWhat
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125. "try to ketchup, Heinz."
In response to Reply # 116


  

          

see? i can make stupid puns too.

fuck you.

  

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Amritsar
Member since Jan 18th 2008
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Wed Mar-25-15 11:15 PM

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118. "Most guy on guy contact I have is on the bball court "
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

Which is actually wild homo if u think abt it. All that sweat, post up defense and adrenaline-induced half chubs

And I hoop like four times a week too

_______________________________________________
"Mindless populism embodied by Trump and Sanders are like a malignant wart on our body politic"

  

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T Reynolds
Member since Apr 16th 2007
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Thu Mar-26-15 07:07 AM

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128. "yo lol"
In response to Reply # 118


  

          

>Which is actually wild homo if u think abt it. All that
>sweat, post up defense and adrenaline-induced half chubs
>
>And I hoop like four times a week too

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
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Thu Mar-26-15 07:56 AM

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132. "lol.. frats and athletes touch all the fucking time. "
In response to Reply # 118
Thu Mar-26-15 08:02 AM by legsdiamond

          

There are HS and college football teams that hold hands in the huddle after every play. A lot of teams come out of the tunnel like this as well.

http://www.stthomas.edu/news/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/121013mde091_012.jpg

basketball players on the bench lock arms when the game is tight.

http://cjonline.com/sites/default/files/imagecache/superphoto/12097263.jpg

frat brothers touch each other too much IMO once they get a little juice in them.

http://clubs-orgs.columbusstate.edu/kappasig/IMG_9987%5B1%5D.jpg
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/73/c1/ef/73c1efda2d6580672d775c6628c08a6b.jpg

all my friends and fam back home embrace with hugs when we see each other. We have known each other damn near since birth and the first time my wife came home with me she was thrown off by how close all the men were in our town.

I wonder if this is more of a problem with kids who were raised by single mothers and didn't have uncles or father figures in their lives.

When I scroll through my friends FB photos I see a lot of touching. I don't see dudes sitting on dudes laps or holding hands but most photos are dudes with arms around each other.

article is kinda bullshit IMO.

  

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SoWhat
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134. "it doesn't matter. b/c homophobia is a fictional concept."
In response to Reply # 132
Thu Mar-26-15 08:22 AM by SoWhat

  

          

ain't nobody skurred of no faggots!

psssh.

don't even worry it, bro. keep doing you. everything is fine in your world. you ain't missed out at all.

fuck you.

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
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Thu Mar-26-15 08:59 AM

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153. "sounds like you need a hug"
In response to Reply # 134


          


  

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MiracleRic
Member since Oct 21st 2002
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Fri Mar-27-15 07:47 AM

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393. "lol, contextual and apt A+"
In response to Reply # 153


  

          

Let me sport my Air Hyperbole 2010s in peace. (c) ansomble

Building repetoires (c) spm since 1983

  

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lfresh
Member since Jun 18th 2002
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Thu Mar-26-15 08:34 AM

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139. "so you pat butts and hold hands with your friends?"
In response to Reply # 132


  

          

you saying those dudes do that off the court?


you aren't realizing that men aren't allowed to do this off the court?
no?
okay
yeah its all exaggerated
y'all are fine
go give your best guy friend a kiss and get back to me
~~~~
When you are born, you cry, and the world rejoices. Live so that when you die, you rejoice, and the world cries.
~~~~
You cannot hate people for their own good.

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
67626 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 08:56 AM

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151. "RE: so you pat butts and hold hands with your friends?"
In response to Reply # 139


          

>you saying those dudes do that off the court?

I'm saying they do it ON court which actually airs on TV for millions to see. I typed it out for you. WTF?

>
>you aren't realizing that men aren't allowed to do this off
>the court?
>no?
>okay
>yeah its all exaggerated
>y'all are fine
>go give your best guy friend a kiss and get back to me

why do I need to kiss my friend to win this argument? That's pretty weird logic.


  

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lfresh
Member since Jun 18th 2002
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212. "because you are trying to 'win'"
In response to Reply # 151


  

          

y'all are weird

~~~~
When you are born, you cry, and the world rejoices. Live so that when you die, you rejoice, and the world cries.
~~~~
You cannot hate people for their own good.

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
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233. "locking arms on the sideline has no effect on the outcome"
In response to Reply # 212


          

  

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lfresh
Member since Jun 18th 2002
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241. "^^ #winning"
In response to Reply # 233


  

          


~~~~
When you are born, you cry, and the world rejoices. Live so that when you die, you rejoice, and the world cries.
~~~~
You cannot hate people for their own good.

  

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Billy Ray Valentine
Member since Jul 08th 2005
675 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 09:17 AM

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170. "I don't hold hands with my female friends either, most adults don't hold..."
In response to Reply # 139


  

          

hands with other adults outside of their significant other

"when I was growin' up if we wanted a jacuzzi we had to fart in the tub!"

  

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lfresh
Member since Jun 18th 2002
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214. "y'all stay throwing women up as a shield"
In response to Reply # 170


  

          

it doesn't work


~~~~
When you are born, you cry, and the world rejoices. Live so that when you die, you rejoice, and the world cries.
~~~~
You cannot hate people for their own good.

  

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Billy Ray Valentine
Member since Jul 08th 2005
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Thu Mar-26-15 02:23 PM

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283. "I'm just saying, adults don't normally hold hands regardless of gender....."
In response to Reply # 214


  

          

unless they are in a relationship with the person.

"when I was growin' up if we wanted a jacuzzi we had to fart in the tub!"

  

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lfresh
Member since Jun 18th 2002
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366. "great"
In response to Reply # 283


  

          


~~~~
When you are born, you cry, and the world rejoices. Live so that when you die, you rejoice, and the world cries.
~~~~
You cannot hate people for their own good.

  

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Cenario
Member since Aug 24th 2005
56981 posts
Wed Mar-25-15 11:41 PM

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119. "k"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

-The Knicks’ coaching search still includes a lone frontrunner, Kurt Rambis, whose qualifications for the position include a strong relationship with Jackson and a willingness to take the job.

  

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godleeluv
Member since Jun 11th 2013
5779 posts
Wed Mar-25-15 11:57 PM

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120. "maybe from touching other men, but we get touched more"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

By we I mean women
or we get touched the same...
never less

  

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lfresh
Member since Jun 18th 2002
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126. "Yes"
In response to Reply # 120


  

          

The pressure then becomes us
That isn't good either
Esp if folks buy into the men and women can't be friends aspect
~~~~
When you are born, you cry, and the world rejoices. Live so that when you die, you rejoice, and the world cries.
~~~~
You cannot hate people for their own good.

  

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DaHeathenOne76
Member since May 11th 2003
29357 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 07:19 AM

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129. "Good conversation n/m"
In response to Reply # 0


          


*****************************************
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=de6VnExhelQ

Presenting Collective Peace.

https://www.facebook.com/CollectivePeace

  

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Garhart Poppwell
Member since Nov 28th 2008
17870 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 08:06 AM

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133. "the world can be, and is, a sad place sometimes"
In response to Reply # 0
Thu Mar-26-15 08:06 AM by Garhart Poppwell

  

          

On a personal level, I've always gotten proper cues on what a caring touch is supposed to be, and how to accept it. Each of my uncles are what you'd probably call a "man's man" but at the same time they knew when to show a softer side.
My close friends must have been raised the same way, or eventually came to their own conclusion, because we always greet one another with hugs and other forms of platonic touching. I think I'm a case of the inverse; I understand why some of us may be against it or not well versed, but it's not something native to my own experience.

__________________________________________
CHOP-THESE-BITCHES!!!!
------------------------------------
Garhart Ivanhoe Poppwell
Un-OK'd moderator for The Lesson and Make The Music (yes, I do's work up in here, and in your asscrease if you run foul of this

  

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daryloneal
Member since Jan 08th 2005
9267 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 08:25 AM

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136. "the funny thing about it is that most people you ask can cite examples.."
In response to Reply # 133


  

          

in their own lives of the very thing you just said.

This brings into to question the validity of the "crisis" nature of the article.

---
but have you ever checked out my website? www.dtaylorimages.com

  

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SoWhat
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Thu Mar-26-15 08:30 AM

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137. "that's b/c there's no such thing as 'homophobia'."
In response to Reply # 136


  

          

it's all a ruse made up by fags to get sympathy for our plight. which isn't really a plight b/c all we have to do is pretend not to be gay and all of the drama is over.

so that's why this article cannot w/stand y'all's anecdotal evidence. b/c it's all based on a house of cards.

fuck you.

  

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Garhart Poppwell
Member since Nov 28th 2008
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150. "let's be clear here"
In response to Reply # 137


  

          

I'm only speaking from my own perspective, and I realize it's not prudent to make blanket statements on either side of the argument as it does nothing for the problem itself.
Also, and I realize I'm probably alone with this one, but I try to stay away from the term "homophobia" considering it's literal translation is "irrational fear of men." But at the same time I realize that there is a very palpable fear amongst some heterosexual men of being engaged by homosexual men, and how that may play into sociological aspects of child rearing. It's my normal tendency to look inside things, not at them, so it's easier for me to see a situation from different angles.

__________________________________________
CHOP-THESE-BITCHES!!!!
------------------------------------
Garhart Ivanhoe Poppwell
Un-OK'd moderator for The Lesson and Make The Music (yes, I do's work up in here, and in your asscrease if you run foul of this

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
67626 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 09:01 AM

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155. "nah, your experience is a lie... "
In response to Reply # 150


          

  

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Cenario
Member since Aug 24th 2005
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238. "lol"
In response to Reply # 155


  

          

-The Knicks’ coaching search still includes a lone frontrunner, Kurt Rambis, whose qualifications for the position include a strong relationship with Jackson and a willingness to take the job.

  

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SoWhat
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243. "right. i get it."
In response to Reply # 150


  

          

>I'm only speaking from my own perspective, and I realize it's
>not prudent to make blanket statements on either side of the
>argument as it does nothing for the problem itself.
>Also, and I realize I'm probably alone with this one, but I
>try to stay away from the term "homophobia" considering it's
>literal translation is "irrational fear of men."

'homophobia' is irrational fear of gays or homosexuality and it includes fear of being thought of as gay. and so if men avoid platonic touch (like caressing and cuddling and such) b/c they don't want to be thought of as gay that would mean homophobia prevents men from engaging in platonic touch.

But at the
>same time I realize that there is a very palpable fear amongst
>some heterosexual men of being engaged by homosexual men

right. being engaged by gays and also being mistaken as gay. that's homophobia at work.

, and
>how that may play into sociological aspects of child rearing.

which is the author's point on that issue. that this part of child rearing results in men who struggle to manage their feelings and who may be starved for platonic intimacy w/their ppl b/c of how they were raised as boys and due to the ongoing fear of being mistaken for gay.

>It's my normal tendency to look inside things, not at them, so
>it's easier for me to see a situation from different angles.

sure.

fuck you.

  

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kayru99
Member since Jan 26th 2004
15779 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 03:05 PM

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307. "i don't think the child-rearing issue is solely due to homophobia"
In response to Reply # 243


          

It has a good bit to do with the idea of what a "capable" man is.

A responsible, stable, level headed provider who remains above the fray to keep a roof over his and his loved ones heads.

How you feel about that as a man, is irrelevant.

Funny to see this discussion following that Ebro "no one cares about men" post a couple days back

  

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SoWhat
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343. "awesome."
In response to Reply # 307


  

          

fuck you.

  

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daryloneal
Member since Jan 08th 2005
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Thu Mar-26-15 09:00 AM

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154. ""This brings into question the "crisis" nature of the article""
In response to Reply # 137


  

          

---
but have you ever checked out my website? www.dtaylorimages.com

  

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SoWhat
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Thu Mar-26-15 09:57 AM

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201. "right. And homophobia is a lie so the article is bunk."
In response to Reply # 154


  

          

fuck you.

  

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daryloneal
Member since Jan 08th 2005
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Thu Mar-26-15 10:17 AM

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205. ""This brings into question the "crisis" nature of the article.""
In response to Reply # 201


  

          

---
but have you ever checked out my website? www.dtaylorimages.com

  

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SoWhat
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Thu Mar-26-15 10:46 AM

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208. "yes bc men give each other handshakes there is no crisis."
In response to Reply # 205


  

          

Never mind the stuff about men having trouble managing emotions and suffering ill health as a result and the acting out that also results, handshakes and dap and family hugs mean there's no crisis. It's all good.

fuck you.

  

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daryloneal
Member since Jan 08th 2005
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Thu Mar-26-15 10:51 AM

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209. "*Pats head*"
In response to Reply # 208


  

          

---
but have you ever checked out my website? www.dtaylorimages.com

  

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SoWhat
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Thu Mar-26-15 11:19 AM

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219. "^ more proof that this is bogus."
In response to Reply # 209


  

          

fuck you.

  

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8-bit
Member since Jan 12th 2010
10841 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 08:11 AM

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135. "*looks at 10 sweaty men grabbing all over each other at the ball court*"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

uh, ok.

---
http://twitter.com/logicalhood
http://instagram.com/hoodlogic

  

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SoWhat
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Thu Mar-26-15 08:35 AM

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140. "yeah, the author says the only touch left for men is athletic and sexual..."
In response to Reply # 135


  

          

but who cares about that?

b/c the whole thing is bullshit anyway. b/c men give each other daps and hugs and though the author claims that if not for homophobia men might be able to experience more touch among each other w/o fear it doesn't matter anyway. b/c men are doing just fine w/o more touch. so what we commit an outrageous number of sex crimes against women and other men in part b/c this author says we're starved for touch? and it doesn't matter that men are known to be awful at managing our emotions. or that men tend to suffer under the weight of seemingly unmanageable stress that results in physical ailments like heart disease and high blood pressure. none of that matters. b/c men give each other pounds and daps and bump into each other playing ball and even slap each other on the ass! so clearly this author has exaggerated a fictional problem. he's probably part of that gay agenda that seeks to have gays take over the world along w/women in an attempt to steal all of the spoils of the heterosexual male and keep them for themselves. it's all bogus.

fuck you.

  

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lfresh
Member since Jun 18th 2002
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Thu Mar-26-15 08:35 AM

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141. "*looks at the same ten men can't even sit next to each other in the thea..."
In response to Reply # 135


  

          

uh
riight
~~~~
When you are born, you cry, and the world rejoices. Live so that when you die, you rejoice, and the world cries.
~~~~
You cannot hate people for their own good.

  

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SoWhat
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Thu Mar-26-15 08:38 AM

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143. "that's b/c it doesn't FEEL GOOD to touch a man."
In response to Reply # 141


  

          

not b/c they're skurred of ppl thinking they're gay if they sit too close to each other.

they'd have NO PROBLEM w/ppl thinking they're gay. b/c there's no such thing as homophobia (which is an irrational fear of homosexuality, including fear of being suspected as a homosexual). so it's not that these men avoid touch b/c they don't wanna be known as gay. that wouldn't bother them at all.

in fact, none of these men curb any of their behavior out of fear of being labeled as gay. b/c there's nothing wrong w/being suspected of being gay. it's totally fine.

fuck you.

  

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lfresh
Member since Jun 18th 2002
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Thu Mar-26-15 08:46 AM

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145. "nope nope nope"
In response to Reply # 143


  

          

nothng to do with any of that

motherfucker police each other ALL DAMN DAY
pause and no homo snickering
but NOPE

this article is WRONG


all these dudes are about to go kiss they main dude in the mouth right now matter o fact
just to prove you wrong and post it to instagram


stubborn asses
~~~~
When you are born, you cry, and the world rejoices. Live so that when you die, you rejoice, and the world cries.
~~~~
You cannot hate people for their own good.

  

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SoWhat
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Thu Mar-26-15 08:53 AM

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149. "oh they won't kiss their homie b/c it doesn't feel good."
In response to Reply # 145


  

          

and they prefer to kiss women. NOT b/c they fear someone will think they're gay.

i mean that's just common sense.

yeah millions of men around the world kiss each other as a greeting but those men are ultra homophobic so that proves this author doesn't know what he's talking about. and anyway, these men don't kiss other men b/c it's just gross and wrong but not b/c it's gay or they don't wanna be mistaken as gay.

fuck you.

  

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lfresh
Member since Jun 18th 2002
92693 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 09:14 AM

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166. "american male lips are sand paper"
In response to Reply # 149


  

          

its understandable
unkissable mugs
only ones in the world

~~~~
When you are born, you cry, and the world rejoices. Live so that when you die, you rejoice, and the world cries.
~~~~
You cannot hate people for their own good.

  

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Amritsar
Member since Jan 18th 2008
30157 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 08:50 AM

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146. "Men are competitive beings"
In response to Reply # 141


  

          

If there is a game to win I'm slapping asses, crashing the boards, fondling balls, etc


All for the sake of winning



Ain't shit to be won in a movie theatre

_______________________________________________
"Mindless populism embodied by Trump and Sanders are like a malignant wart on our body politic"

  

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SoWhat
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Thu Mar-26-15 08:51 AM

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148. "right so you might as well not sit close to your homie in a theater."
In response to Reply # 146


  

          

b/c unless y'all are competing for a win he doesn't exist.

fuck you.

  

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Amritsar
Member since Jan 18th 2008
30157 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 09:05 AM

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158. "Absolutely"
In response to Reply # 148


  

          

(I'll leave u to decide whether I'm serious or not )

_______________________________________________
"Mindless populism embodied by Trump and Sanders are like a malignant wart on our body politic"

  

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lfresh
Member since Jun 18th 2002
92693 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 09:15 AM

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167. "you don't exist"
In response to Reply # 158


  

          

he won't be responding

he'l get back to you on the courts
~~~~
When you are born, you cry, and the world rejoices. Live so that when you die, you rejoice, and the world cries.
~~~~
You cannot hate people for their own good.

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
67626 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 09:04 AM

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157. "if they don't have to why would they? "
In response to Reply # 141


          

ten dudes on a team spend all day touching each other.

Now, if dudes walk into a packed theatre and refuse to watch a movie because they have to sit next to each other than its a problem but that rarely happens.

when you get on an empty train and someone sits right next I bet you wonder WTF like any normal human being.

  

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lfresh
Member since Jun 18th 2002
92693 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 09:14 AM

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165. "if they were my supposed friend"
In response to Reply # 157


  

          

then no


y'all reaching so damn hard in here

~~~~
When you are born, you cry, and the world rejoices. Live so that when you die, you rejoice, and the world cries.
~~~~
You cannot hate people for their own good.

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
67626 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 09:43 AM

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195. "RE: if they were my supposed friend"
In response to Reply # 165


          

>then no
>
>
>y'all reaching so damn hard in here

oh the irony

  

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lfresh
Member since Jun 18th 2002
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Thu Mar-26-15 11:01 AM

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215. "i'm not the one trying to "win""
In response to Reply # 195


  

          


~~~~
When you are born, you cry, and the world rejoices. Live so that when you die, you rejoice, and the world cries.
~~~~
You cannot hate people for their own good.

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
67626 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 11:26 AM

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223. "#picsoritdidn'tfappin"
In response to Reply # 215


          

  

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lfresh
Member since Jun 18th 2002
92693 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 11:42 AM

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225. "because women fap to friendship"
In response to Reply # 223


  

          

your logic btw

because men touching in public
means sexuality

this is you

y'all keep doing this to yourselves

who has the popcorn btw?
~~~~
When you are born, you cry, and the world rejoices. Live so that when you die, you rejoice, and the world cries.
~~~~
You cannot hate people for their own good.

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
67626 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 11:50 AM

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236. "not all women, just you"
In response to Reply # 225


          

  

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lfresh
Member since Jun 18th 2002
92693 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 11:58 AM

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240. "all to "win", right"
In response to Reply # 236


  

          


~~~~
When you are born, you cry, and the world rejoices. Live so that when you die, you rejoice, and the world cries.
~~~~
You cannot hate people for their own good.

  

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ShinobiShaw
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Thu Mar-26-15 02:05 PM

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280. "nah we just like our balls to breath. However those new"
In response to Reply # 141


  

          

movie theathers with the leather reclining seats, whooo no need to space out in those joints.

http://soundcloud.com/djshinobishaw
http://www.rareformnyc.com
http://twitter.com/DJShinobiShaw
https://twitter.com/RareFormNYC
PSN: ShinobiShaw

"Arm Leg Leg Arm How you doin?" (c)T510

  

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initiationofplato
Member since Nov 06th 2013
2420 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 08:38 AM

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142. "Some of you have really nice capes!"
In response to Reply # 0


          

~Experience is the currency of the soul.

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
67626 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 09:09 AM

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162. "look up in the sky, its.. SUPAMAN LOVER YEAHHHH!"
In response to Reply # 142


          

  

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initiationofplato
Member since Nov 06th 2013
2420 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 09:17 AM

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169. "lol people are WORKING in here, hahahah"
In response to Reply # 162


          

~Experience is the currency of the soul.

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
67626 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 09:23 AM

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173. "https://38.media.tumblr.com/276606135cb8f6cedbedcbab1e8c75c1/tumblr_n43t..."
In response to Reply # 169


          


ran up in this bitch like this when they got the signal

https://38.media.tumblr.com/276606135cb8f6cedbedcbab1e8c75c1/tumblr_n43tltOWj31s2wio8o1_500.gif

  

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initiationofplato
Member since Nov 06th 2013
2420 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 09:42 AM

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194. "hahahaha "
In response to Reply # 173


          

~Experience is the currency of the soul.

  

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astralblak
Member since Apr 05th 2007
20029 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 12:45 PM

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258. "damn, this shit funny"
In response to Reply # 173


  

          

.

  

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Case_One
Charter member
54575 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 08:42 AM

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144. "Men hug and touch each other everyday with genuine affection via"
In response to Reply # 0
Thu Mar-26-15 08:43 AM by Case_One

  

          

hugs for praise and reunion or parting ways, holding hands during prayer and on sports teams, high fives, fits bumps, hand shaking, arms around shoulders when giving advice or leaning on each other for support in a crisis, etc.

This article has some merit if your look through a certain lens, but I disagree as a whole.



.
.
.
"And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful." ~ 2 Tim 2:4

  

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SoWhat
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Thu Mar-26-15 08:51 AM

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147. "of course you disagree as a whole."
In response to Reply # 144


  

          

b/c you know 'homophobia' is just a trick of the enemy. what we call 'homophobia' is actually just good doctrine. fear of homosexuality? of COURSE. we should all 'fear' sin. we should all flee from iniquity. we should all seek to rid ourselves of abomination. and if that comes in the form of men not experiencing platonic touch well that's just part of God's plan for men. God wants men to feel isolated from each other. to not be able to manage our emotions. to act out badly against others b/c we are suffering and are w/o tools to manage. b/c the point is for us to suffer so greatly we will seek God to fix it.

anyway, of course YOU disagree. it's all good.

fuck you.

  

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Case_One
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Thu Mar-26-15 09:02 AM

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156. "Always defaulting to your real issue - again."
In response to Reply # 147


  

          

>b/c you know 'homophobia' is just a trick of the enemy. what
>we call 'homophobia' is actually just good doctrine. fear of
>homosexuality? of COURSE. we should all 'fear' sin. we
>should all flee from iniquity. we should all seek to rid
>ourselves of abomination. and if that comes in the form of
>men not experiencing platonic touch well that's just part of
>God's plan for men. God wants men to feel isolated from each
>other. to not be able to manage our emotions. to act out
>badly against others b/c we are suffering and are w/o tools to
>manage. b/c the point is for us to suffer so greatly we will
>seek God to fix it.
>
>anyway, of course YOU disagree. it's all good.



For someone that doesn't have faith or believe in God, you're always blame Him for your issues on a subconscious level. And on a conscious level you have a strong hate for someone that you don't believe in or want to have anything to do with. That's amazing and odd.




.
.
.
"And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful." ~ 2 Tim 2:4

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
67626 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 09:06 AM

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159. "you see it right? people in here telling him they hug their friends"
In response to Reply # 156


          

and it just can't be true because... HOMOPHOBIA!!!

no one said homophobia doesn't exist but this article isn't a good example IMO.

  

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Case_One
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Thu Mar-26-15 09:08 AM

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161. "Right. He's salty because his post isn't going a planned. "
In response to Reply # 159


  

          

>and it just can't be true because... HOMOPHOBIA!!!
>
>no one said homophobia doesn't exist but this article isn't a
>good example IMO.


Men are vert communal with touch. We even tell each other we love one another all the time.





.
.
.
"And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful." ~ 2 Tim 2:4

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
67626 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 09:24 AM

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176. "my nephew and I said I love you on the phone at the same time"
In response to Reply # 161


          

he called me back heated like "IT OKAY TO SAY I LOVE YOU UNC!!! WE MEN BUT IT'S OK"

  

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Case_One
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Thu Mar-26-15 09:33 AM

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189. "Word. It's a norm for me and my boys "
In response to Reply # 176


  

          


.
.
.
"And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful." ~ 2 Tim 2:4

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
67626 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 10:05 AM

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203. "you even made a "I love you, man" last month"
In response to Reply # 189


          

but you know, that was just a preemptive strike to cover your tracks for this article

  

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Case_One
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Thu Mar-26-15 10:33 AM

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206. "I'm such a Clairvoyant! "
In response to Reply # 203


  

          


.
.
.
"And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful." ~ 2 Tim 2:4

  

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SoWhat
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154163 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 10:52 AM

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210. "it's also proof that God is real."
In response to Reply # 156


  

          

Bc I clearly hate God about as much as I hate Santa Claus or the Tooth Fairy. So much hate must mean there is a God.

But back to this article - the author says the touch men get now is generally not enough to help men address our emotional needs and that causes us to act out and to suffer bad health. I think that's bogus bc the premise is that we avoid touch bc we fear being thought of as gay. But it's all bogus bc there's no fear of being thought of as gay and any fear is just good sense bc being gay is an abomination according to the Easter Bunny. So it's all good.

fuck you.

  

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Case_One
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216. "You still defaulting. "
In response to Reply # 210


  

          

>Bc I clearly hate God about as much as I hate Santa Claus or
>the Tooth Fairy. So much hate must mean there is a God.
>

^^ A true struggle response ^^

>But back to this article - the author says the touch men get
>now is generally not enough to help men address our emotional
>needs and that causes us to act out and to suffer bad health.
>I think that's bogus bc the premise is that we avoid touch bc
>we fear being thought of as gay. But it's all bogus bc there's
>no fear of being thought of as gay and any fear is just good
>sense bc being gay is an abomination according to the Easter
>Bunny. So it's all good.

That dude can't speak for all men and he has not clear research support for his claims and this has nothing to do with homophobia.




.
.
.
"And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful." ~ 2 Tim 2:4

  

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SoWhat
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Thu Mar-26-15 11:43 AM

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227. "great."
In response to Reply # 216


  

          

fuck you.

  

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Deadzombie
Member since Aug 21st 2008
13358 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 08:58 AM

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152. "this is bullshit. maybe an issue for white men."
In response to Reply # 0


          

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
67626 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 09:07 AM

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160. "white frat dudes are the most touchy feely dudes on earth"
In response to Reply # 152


          

2 drinks and a white dude wants to hug it out with complete strangers.

  

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Deadzombie
Member since Aug 21st 2008
13358 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 09:13 AM

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163. "so are black dudes in trap videos."
In response to Reply # 160


          

  

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daryloneal
Member since Jan 08th 2005
9267 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 09:15 AM

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168. "right. A woman I know made a post on facebook a while back about how.."
In response to Reply # 163


  

          

she believes male hip-hop artists are doing TOO much homie love these days, with songs like "My Nigga" and all that.

---
but have you ever checked out my website? www.dtaylorimages.com

  

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lfresh
Member since Jun 18th 2002
92693 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 09:24 AM

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175. "yes my nigga"
In response to Reply # 168


  

          

is a direct translation for my best friend paul

the amount of physical affection shown in the same video is overwhelming evidence
its not over testosteroned out with money flashing, jail time, cars, rims,

its a pure ode to friendship in this purest sense
lots of hugs talking about feelings and emotional support

that kiss at the end though
that really rocked me
y'all right

y'all so sensitive and in touch with yourselves
my bad
~~~~
When you are born, you cry, and the world rejoices. Live so that when you die, you rejoice, and the world cries.
~~~~
You cannot hate people for their own good.

  

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lfresh
Member since Jun 18th 2002
92693 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 09:19 AM

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171. "y'all hunting those exceptions down HARD"
In response to Reply # 163


  

          

got any more?
besides the ones already mention in the article?

y'all walk down the street holding hands with your boys?
kiss your dude on the cheek for greeting?
sit in each other laps if seats run out?
sit next to each other in the movie theatre?
how about at dinner?
side by side voluntarily and let the ladies chat and YALL suggest it because y'all want to talk face to face

yep men are maaad chummy
this article is so damn wrong
~~~~
When you are born, you cry, and the world rejoices. Live so that when you die, you rejoice, and the world cries.
~~~~
You cannot hate people for their own good.

  

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Deadzombie
Member since Aug 21st 2008
13358 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 09:25 AM

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179. "i hug my brothers with both arms."
In response to Reply # 171


          

starts with a smack/shake on the hand, and ends with both arms open.

i don't need to hold their hand.
i don't need to kiss them.

that's not this culture.

...

matter fact, i got a running 'game' with one cat around the way.

if either of us isn't watching or paying attention. we'll smack and squeeze the other bamma on the ass.

it started from when he started dippin.

niggas get reeeeal touchy feely off the dippers.

he felt us up, we get his ass back.

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
67626 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 09:27 AM

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181. "how dare we have examples that don't fit the narrative"
In response to Reply # 171


          

the nerve of us.

  

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lfresh
Member since Jun 18th 2002
92693 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 09:29 AM

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183. "oh look you touched a male just today"
In response to Reply # 181


  

          

your eyes looked over the ass of a female that walked by

touching moment i know

yes y'all have great examples
~~~~
When you are born, you cry, and the world rejoices. Live so that when you die, you rejoice, and the world cries.
~~~~
You cannot hate people for their own good.

  

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daryloneal
Member since Jan 08th 2005
9267 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 09:31 AM

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186. "our affection doesn't need to meet your standard to be valid."
In response to Reply # 171


  

          

We're telling you that we hold hands in prayer, we hug when we greet, we hug and comfort each other in times of trouble, we throw our arms around each other's shoulders in camaraderie..

But it's "Do you kiss??? Do you walk down the street holding hands???"

I don't kiss or hold hands with my platonic women friends either.

Sorry if that doesn't work for you or fit the narrative you are pushing for.

---
but have you ever checked out my website? www.dtaylorimages.com

  

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