>"we just choose not to touch ANY platonic friends (male or
>female) like THAT."
>
>Is it homophobia or what? germaphobia?? agoraphobia??
>

asking the question is great...i think it's not as complicated as we are making it...making homophobia the cause rather than a factor is problematic...it's not even the labeling that annoys me...it's the ignoring of the obvious

>Not wanting to appear gay?? soft? or whatever??
>

in general, our culture isn't touchy feely...most platonic touch is very conservative

>Some of y'all seem mighty defensive at being called
>homophobic.
>
>
>I admit to internalized misogyny and heteronormativity.
>Conversations like this help me work through it.
>
>No one is saying (seriously because sarcasm is lingua franca
>around OKP) that you have to go around platonically touching
>anyone to prove you are non prejudiced against the other.
>
>Just asking you to pause (haha) and think about why we do the
>things we do. If you dont want to change, fine.

it needs to be a societal change...i hug my close friends all the time...i only hold my wife's hand or children

if we examine it without trying to inject our own agendas into it...it becomes much clearer but people are doing that when you assign homophobia as causal to touch isolation

compare our notions of personal space, gender roles, and the intimacy levels of various types of touching...homophobia is something that plays a role but it doesn't cause it...it's the roots of that homophobia that contribute directly...it can also reinforce related homophobic notions...

ideas of personal space, roles of weak vs strong, masculine vs feminine, and how those roles relate to touch frequency and type...all have causal impact on touch isolation for EVERYONE but especially men...homophobia can show up in those instances but is mostly just a product of those other issues as well