http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/megasahd-escape-the-act-like-a-man-box/

selective copy-paste ...;
I like calling it the “Act Like a Man Box,...because it highlights how masculinity is a performance.When I do this exercise, I ask the group to brainstorm words that describe “real men.” ...the responses have been pretty consistent, regardless of the age, gender mix, sexual orientation, or racial makeup of the group. As long as the participants grew up in or have spent significant time in the US, they know what this guy looks like:

Tall Strong Muscular
25-45 years old Able-bodied Heterosexual
Cisgender Competitive Dominant
Cop Firefighter Mechanic
Lawyer Business Man CEO
Caretaker Competent Leader
Drinks Watches & plays sports Play poker with his buddies
Doesn’t show emotions other than anger, excitement Stoic Violent
Always wants sex Has lots of sexual partners Sex is about scoring
Has a big penis Gets hard when he wants Stays hard
Gives his partner an orgasm (or multiple orgasms) Ejaculates when he wants to Sex is focused on intercourse, blow jobs (receiving), possible anal (giving)


After we come up with this list, I ask the group to name the things that men are called if we’re not all of these things. Here are some of the more common responses:
gay fag
girl weak
sissy punk
bitch loser
pussy wimp

On the other hand, all of the words on the outside fit into one of three groups: gay, female, loser. I think that says pretty interesting things about homophobia and sexism. The way I think of it, those are the bricks that make up the Box and shame is the mortar that holds it together.

seriously, let go and let god