>but this is one thing i wonder
>why then such men have a problem with dykes
>is it because they challenge the whole notion of masculine
>being an ideal that belongs to a particular sex
>or that its natural
>or because they challenge the level of control a 'man'
>could/should have over how a woman identifies?

i think it's all of that at the same time.

plus the existence of homosexuality among women makes many men feel erased. useless. it challenges their manhood. b/c for many men their manhood is tied up in their heterosexuality or in the idea that women 'need' them. so if there are women out there who don't 'need' them...then these men lose a piece of themselves and their manhood. it freaks them out.