Lot's of posts on this, so I thought I respond to them in aggregate.

For one thing, the "love your sons, raise your daughters" pattern exists in plenty of two-parent families as well, I think has more to do with how Blacks are approaching raising their kids, then whether or not the son has a father.

In fact, if the Father is loving his son and raising his daugther, he's making the situation WORSE then if he wasn't there. If he wasn't there, at least the son could look at some of his failures in life and Blame it on the lack of a father, *maybe* he'll use that as motivation to be a better man. If his father IS around, he might just accept his failures as "life" he might think that what he's doing is what being a man is all about.

I know too many sons who were raised by fathers that make excuses for other men that hit their wives or run out on their children, or think that being born with a Y chromosome deems them worthy of respect....as opposed to their actions.

In other words, plenty of young men run from their responsibilities who grew up with a father.

Just a thought......

As for Mother's raising sons, the thought occurs to me, WHO better to teach a son how to be a man, particularly with respect to women. Who else is going to have a more objective on what it means to be a man.....based on what she thinks a man should be with respect to her?

Do you think a woman who teaches her son to be a man, based on how she feels a man should treat her, is going to have a son who will run out on his kids?

I doubt it.

This whole idea that Mother's can't tell their sons what to do, or they can't teach them anything is bullshit (IMHO), there are far too many dead beat men raised by their fathers and responsible, strong men that people can be proud of that were raised by their mothers to believe otherwise.

Not to mention the fact that it's defeatist, since you're basically saying that the young men/boys in single parent homes are screwed.

The whole idea of "inserting Daddy into the situation" to fix things, gives the impression that men are the saviours that can save the community by their presence, it's disrespectful to the fathers that are good parents as opposed to fathers that just show up.

In the end, Kids need GOOD PARENTS, moreso then a parent of a specific gender. One good parent is always better (IMHO) then one so/so parent and one that just shows up.

People need to get off the whole "Black Man as the Saviour of the Community" and "Black Women as the baby factories of the community", the only thing that's going to save the community is if BOTH genders bust ass to become strong, intelligent vibrant members of society that have their shit together and handle their business.

Think about it, what's the pattern we have now?

The man aren't being raised to become strong members of society and are excused/forgiven for their mistakes, and you have men who are men physically, but mentally they are not ready to be men.

The women are being raised, but are being also taught to be caregivers that depend on the men who are often men in name only, sometimes when they try to achieve, they receive a "social cut" by their own family members/communities.

In essence, young boys and girls are being raised to be adults who can't neccessarily co-exist with each other, can't depend on each other, can't work together....

Sad isn't it?






Peace,







M2

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