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Subject: "Would you throw your 16 yr old pregnant daughter a baby shower?" This topic is locked.
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Big Kuntry
Member since May 09th 2010
14866 posts
Fri Nov-06-15 03:36 PM

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"Poll question: Would you throw your 16 yr old pregnant daughter a baby shower?"


  

          

My boys daughter is pregnant wit her first child. The smoke has now cleared & he & his wife are geeked to be having a new bundle of joy.

However, she doesn't think it's appropriate to have a shower cuz of her age & according to her, bein 16 and pregnant isn't anything to celebrate. She recommended having a small dinner wit the family and everyone brings pampers, bottles, etc. My boy on the other hand wants to go all out to recognize the birth of his first grand.

I can see where they're both coming from but it is what it is *shrug*

Poll result (38 votes)
Yes (18 votes)Vote
No (20 votes)Vote

  

  

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Topic Outline
Subject Author Message Date ID
They are shaming her.
Nov 06th 2015
1
Baby registry. No party.
Nov 06th 2015
5
      ^^^^best answer. And invite the people over for the first b day party
Nov 06th 2015
39
           lol @ "irresponsibility"
Nov 07th 2015
           lol @ "irresponsibility"
Nov 07th 2015
70
                RE: lol @ "irresponsibility"
Nov 07th 2015
87
                     RE: lol @ "irresponsibility"
Nov 08th 2015
123
they're having the baby. may as well have the shower...
Nov 06th 2015
2
RE: they're having the baby. may as well have the shower...
Nov 06th 2015
49
The focus should be on the baby
Nov 06th 2015
3
Baby going to be mad there was no shower?
Nov 06th 2015
4
      It's not about the shower itself, but collective resources
Nov 06th 2015
7
      The baby can sense all the bad vibrations bro
Nov 06th 2015
16
           Agreement on all fronts
Nov 06th 2015
26
My 16 yr old pregnant daughter would not he pregnant
Nov 06th 2015
6
Or the clinic.
Nov 06th 2015
8
I'm not disagreeing
Nov 06th 2015
15
at what age 11? that's when most girls get their periods?
Nov 06th 2015
9
I dunno, but definitely by the first day of hs
Nov 06th 2015
10
good luck with that.
Nov 06th 2015
19
      Well this is mildly terrifying
Nov 06th 2015
23
      well it's mostly safe, just generally pretty unpleasant as the norm.
Nov 06th 2015
40
      well this is a bunch of lies
Nov 08th 2015
120
           I've heard a lot of horror stories about the shot
Nov 09th 2015
142
                ive also heard great things about the shot
Nov 09th 2015
173
When them not so little anymore boys start calling.
Nov 06th 2015
11
birth control isnt easy and painless and is a big responsibility
Nov 06th 2015
18
I hope that I've done enough homework by the time we get there
Nov 06th 2015
22
AGREED!
Nov 06th 2015
35
you may just have to talk to her
Nov 06th 2015
42
where are we getting this info? LARCs are very safe and effective
Nov 08th 2015
127
yes but if she is would you throw her a baby shower?
Nov 06th 2015
25
      I can sprinkle it on her cornflakes
Nov 06th 2015
29
      lol
Nov 06th 2015
32
      I kmew a girl whose brothers would slip it
Nov 07th 2015
72
Not sure what being 16 has to do with anything.
Nov 06th 2015
12
You saying it's not disappointing for your 16 year old to get pregnant?
Nov 06th 2015
17
      Difference between a child disappointing and being
Nov 06th 2015
20
      i agree.
Nov 06th 2015
28
      Exactly. My disappointment can go fuck itself
Nov 06th 2015
33
      Come on man, don't be dense about this.
Nov 06th 2015
27
           ^^ all of that.
Nov 06th 2015
30
           I hear you, but I still wouldn't support a baby shower. But then, I hate
Nov 06th 2015
34
                but what if she doesn't want an abortion?
Nov 06th 2015
54
                     I just posed this to the wife. She said there would be a small
Nov 06th 2015
62
good question....9.5 x's outta 10 i'd be against it..or wouldn't
Nov 06th 2015
13
LMFAO!!
Nov 06th 2015
14
If everyone is excited...
Nov 06th 2015
21
YUP.
Nov 06th 2015
24
What does not throwing a shower prove? Not a damn thing
Nov 06th 2015
31
every single time i've heard a future grandparent say
Nov 06th 2015
36
I hear you but saying we don't need a baby shower isn't the same
Nov 06th 2015
44
      i didn't say it was.
Nov 06th 2015
50
i'm not throwing it or attending it
Nov 06th 2015
37
I questioned if she'd really value it the same way she would if she was....
Nov 06th 2015
41
      a teenager's mind can be "meh". but a parent's mind can't be
Nov 06th 2015
43
           Nvm I misread it
Nov 06th 2015
46
hell no
Nov 06th 2015
38
The baby shower can happen after i throw up and hang myself lol
Nov 06th 2015
The baby shower can happen after i throw up and hang myself lol
Nov 06th 2015
45
RE: Would you throw your 16 yr old pregnant daughter a baby shower?
Nov 06th 2015
47
I'm sure I'd be pissed initially
Nov 06th 2015
48
a baby shower is a celebration so fuck no
Nov 06th 2015
51
RE: a baby shower is a celebration so fuck no
Nov 06th 2015
53
16 isnt super young anymore.
Nov 06th 2015
52
and I bear witness...
Nov 06th 2015
55
WTF are you talking about? This ain't the 90s.
Nov 07th 2015
79
IKR
Nov 07th 2015
83
Fine, I'll say it for you like you're a retard.
Nov 08th 2015
121
      smh... 16 is young bruh
Nov 09th 2015
147
           I typed in clear English, he asked what I was talking about
Nov 09th 2015
169
You can't even drive if you are 16 in alot of states still
Nov 09th 2015
168
it's too late to shame and punish ol girl. may as well embrace it.
Nov 06th 2015
56
I'd keep it low key and positive, but it's not gonna be a bash
Nov 06th 2015
57
Start as you mean to carry on
Nov 06th 2015
58
Yeah Yeah but all that ain't got lick to do with having a shower.
Nov 06th 2015
60
      It's part of the preparation for becoming a mother though
Nov 06th 2015
63
      It's not a part of the preparation for becoming a mother. Most mothers
Nov 07th 2015
76
      It's for the mother, not the baby, dumbass
Nov 06th 2015
66
      It's for the mother, not the baby, dumbass
Nov 06th 2015
67
      Tell that to all the ppl in here talking about how detrimental it is
Nov 07th 2015
73
      Why you name calling though? Hitting close to home?
Nov 07th 2015
74
           awful guess, have zero daughters, sisters, childhood pregnancies
Nov 07th 2015
80
                I have 2 sisters who got pregnant at 17 and 18
Nov 07th 2015
86
                     it's a personal decision and then a family decision, obviously
Nov 08th 2015
132
      What you're saying doesn't have a lick to do with my principle
Nov 07th 2015
89
      nah, I think the kid with the better parent
Nov 07th 2015
91
      Tossing seeds out a window and having one grow into a tree
Nov 07th 2015
96
           you smoking that good shit bruh
Nov 07th 2015
104
                Thought you'd last longer
Nov 09th 2015
136
      It was the lack of babyshower & bad energy that made the...
Nov 07th 2015
99
           Try reading
Nov 09th 2015
138
      REAL TALK!
Nov 09th 2015
162
ask ya great grandmammy
Nov 06th 2015
59
When my great grandmother had my grandma at 16
Nov 06th 2015
61
I mean, she is having the kid, right?
Nov 06th 2015
64
These responses make me want to cry
Nov 06th 2015
65
Lol get that hippy shit outta here
Nov 06th 2015
68
Couple spends $77k tryg on failed infertility treatments
Nov 08th 2015
133
Real talk
Nov 07th 2015
69
thank you. i don't even have the energy to type how i feel.
Nov 08th 2015
108
Might as well
Nov 07th 2015
71
when I was a teen I wasnt allowed to attend teen baby showers
Nov 07th 2015
75
exactly
Nov 07th 2015
84
Babies having baby showers------------------------------ we didn't make ...
Nov 07th 2015
77
How does most of the world & human history manage to make it...
Nov 07th 2015
78
these niggas love rewarding the wrong shit
Nov 07th 2015
85
you sound so white sometimes man.
Nov 08th 2015
117
Thx
Nov 08th 2015
125
He considers that a compliment but denies the idea of "white supremacy"
Nov 08th 2015
129
      A compliment? Nigga, its not even worthy of a response
Nov 08th 2015
134
           You did respond tho. With a 'thx' at that.
Nov 09th 2015
166
No one should be depressed and emotionally beat down while they
Nov 08th 2015
124
      Beat down for not throwing a baby shower? Lmao
Nov 08th 2015
126
           Why are you against throwing a baby shower in this case then?
Nov 08th 2015
128
                because i view a shower as a celebration for being pregnant
Nov 09th 2015
145
that's not my position...
Nov 07th 2015
101
for the people who say yes, what if she was 12, or victim of rape?
Nov 07th 2015
81
hopefully if she was 12 or a victim of rape, we would know before
Nov 08th 2015
109
Not throwing a baby shower has zero impact on that kids future
Nov 07th 2015
82
Ok...so the parents pride is wounded...
Nov 07th 2015
88
      of course the parents are hurt...
Nov 07th 2015
92
           here's what showing up for me....
Nov 07th 2015
100
                most def there is a consequence for getting pregnant at 16
Nov 07th 2015
103
BTW like many things, a baby shower is what you make it
Nov 07th 2015
90
or you could actually physically and emotionally support
Nov 07th 2015
93
      RE: or you could actually physically and emotionally support
Nov 07th 2015
98
           yeah, that doesnt make any sense bruh...
Nov 08th 2015
106
                You can't make sense of it, definitely
Nov 09th 2015
137
hell yes. New life is a blessing, lets greet it accordingly
Nov 07th 2015
94
NO, and she's not having the child
Nov 07th 2015
95
what are you going to do if you find out she's pregnant in the 6th month...
Nov 08th 2015
110
      Then she wouldn't keep the child....
Nov 08th 2015
113
Sounds like embarrassment to me. If they are accepting that..
Nov 07th 2015
97
this is fascinating
Nov 07th 2015
102
For real
Nov 08th 2015
118
sure. sh*t wont be turnt or anything, but that baby's coming either way
Nov 08th 2015
105
would love to know how many okp's had baby showers
Nov 08th 2015
107
it's always interesting to see what topics okps are conservative about
Nov 08th 2015
111
not sure how this is a question. and I think baby showers are stupid
Nov 08th 2015
112
the baby shower will happen. i think this is about the protest.
Nov 08th 2015
116
Too late for that
Nov 09th 2015
143
      *connected
Nov 09th 2015
155
Basically
Nov 09th 2015
139
Nope, I'm sending her away for a year, she hath brought shame upon us
Nov 08th 2015
114
aaaaaand I'm inviting her whole Junior Year HS Class
Nov 08th 2015
115
ooooooorrrrr, you could just invite family and close friends as a show o...
Nov 09th 2015
140
Might as well go to the strip club and give her her 1st tip
Nov 08th 2015
119
you have to just be a troll
Nov 08th 2015
122
      I wasn't being serious.
Nov 08th 2015
131
           LMAO.. you aint no real dj b..
Nov 09th 2015
148
           Nigga was like you ain't got no Yeezy in Serato?!
Nov 09th 2015
149
                imma say it like a retard... 16 aint young b...
Nov 09th 2015
153
                     Im sure statutory rapist and creep niggas feel the same way
Nov 09th 2015
158
                          if 16 isnt young... 15 and 14 must be in play? I mean, some cultures mar...
Nov 09th 2015
159
           so you're admitting to trolling
Nov 09th 2015
170
                I think the correct term is joking...
Nov 09th 2015
171
                     count your replies in here, then get a life
Nov 09th 2015
175
if your friends are onboard for the actual birth of the child
Nov 08th 2015
130
^^^^^
Nov 09th 2015
146
Yes I would
Nov 09th 2015
135
Absolutely
Nov 09th 2015
141
not a big deal either way
Nov 09th 2015
144
i feel like once you got over the initial shock
Nov 09th 2015
150
What is it to the 16 year old tho? Just another party right?
Nov 09th 2015
151
http://xonecole.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/Oprah-You-Get-a-Car-Gif.g...
Nov 09th 2015
152
yea, not sure why this doesn't get considered
Nov 09th 2015
156
      b/c it's ridiculous.
Nov 09th 2015
161
           so are you but we still discussing it
Nov 09th 2015
163
                i'm rubber you're glue
Nov 09th 2015
164
                     I don't see how it has to be framed as a party
Nov 09th 2015
165
                          agreed.
Nov 09th 2015
167
                          I think most want to withhold the baby shower and not
Nov 09th 2015
172
                               I've made clear the opportunity for support and guidance presented by th...
Nov 09th 2015
174
What happened to that other post?
Nov 09th 2015
154
spin-off
Nov 09th 2015
157
No. I'm not celebrating that matter.
Nov 09th 2015
160

-DJ R-Tistic-
Member since Nov 06th 2008
51978 posts
Fri Nov-06-15 03:37 PM

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1. "They are shaming her."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

I'm joking. But I mean, I get it, but.....get them mafuckin gifts tho!

------------------------------

50+ FREE Mixes on www.DJR-Tistic.com!

Twitter and Instagram - @DJ_RTistic

  

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Buddy_Gilapagos
Charter member
46167 posts
Fri Nov-06-15 03:41 PM

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5. "Baby registry. No party. "
In response to Reply # 1


  

          


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

Movies I need y'all bastids to see so we can discuss:

Five Star - https://goo.gl/jBHbVv
Appropriate Behavior - http://goo.gl/isCzTM
Ma

  

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blkprinceMD05
Member since Nov 29th 2004
41290 posts
Fri Nov-06-15 04:34 PM

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39. "^^^^best answer. And invite the people over for the first b day party"
In response to Reply # 5


  

          

Get the gifts/resources but her irresponsibility wouldn't garner a party in my book


prototype

stand ur ground, believe in urself,
believe in love, prepare urself for love, remove the negativity from ur life, and accept the love u kno u deserve

  

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Boogie Stimuli
Member since Sep 24th 2010
13367 posts
Sat Nov-07-15 01:19 AM

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"lol @ "irresponsibility""


          

1) We got grown men and women out here "irresponsibly" having children too
2) Since she's only 16, are we blaming her *completely* or are the parents' level
of responsibility in this being called in into question as well?

~
~
~
~
~
"Until you get outta my way, I don't wanna hear what you say aye aye"

  

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Boogie Stimuli
Member since Sep 24th 2010
13367 posts
Sat Nov-07-15 01:19 AM

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70. "lol @ "irresponsibility""
In response to Reply # 39


          

1) We got grown men and women out here "irresponsibly" having children too
2) Since she's only 16, are we blaming her *completely* or are the parents' level
of responsibility in this being called in into question as well?

~
~
~
~
~
"Until you get outta my way, I don't wanna hear what you say aye aye"

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
70313 posts
Sat Nov-07-15 02:48 PM

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87. "RE: lol @ "irresponsibility""
In response to Reply # 70


          

>1) We got grown men and women out here "irresponsibly" having
>children too

and??? doesn't make a 16 year old having one any better


>2) Since she's only 16, are we blaming her *completely* or are
>the parents' level
>of responsibility in this being called in into question as
>well?
>

this is one of the reasons most parents aren't throwing baby showers bruh...

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

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Boogie Stimuli
Member since Sep 24th 2010
13367 posts
Sun Nov-08-15 06:19 PM

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123. "RE: lol @ "irresponsibility""
In response to Reply # 87


          

>>1) We got grown men and women out here "irresponsibly"
>having
>>children too
>
>and??? doesn't make a 16 year old having one any better


Nah, it's makes it equal, so what's the problem/difference?


>>2) Since she's only 16, are we blaming her *completely* or
>are
>>the parents' level
>>of responsibility in this being called in into question as
>>well?
>>
>
>this is one of the reasons most parents aren't throwing baby
>showers bruh...


So the child is being punished because of the parents' irresponsibility?
Can you explain?

~
~
~
~
~
"Until you get outta my way, I don't wanna hear what you say aye aye"

  

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ndibs
Member since Aug 06th 2012
12715 posts
Fri Nov-06-15 03:38 PM

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2. "they're having the baby. may as well have the shower..."
In response to Reply # 0
Fri Nov-06-15 03:41 PM by ndibs

          

ACTUALLY.... shower's usually include friends. may be a little irresponsible to invite a bunch of high schoolers or her peers age 13-17 to a baby shower. a family, close friends thing would probably be more appropriate.

  

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ILLwiLL132
Member since Jul 14th 2011
217 posts
Fri Nov-06-15 04:55 PM

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49. "RE: they're having the baby. may as well have the shower..."
In response to Reply # 2


          

exactly.

I'm for truth no matter who tells it. I'm for justice no matter who it's for or against. - el Hajj Malik el Shabazz

  

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caramelapplebttms
Member since Mar 09th 2004
3152 posts
Fri Nov-06-15 03:40 PM

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3. "The focus should be on the baby"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

and creating an environment where the baby is welcomed. I believe that babies can pick up on feelings of being unwanted even before they get here.

The girl is going to have a hard enough time. A baby shower is for the baby.

  

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Buddy_Gilapagos
Charter member
46167 posts
Fri Nov-06-15 03:40 PM

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4. "Baby going to be mad there was no shower?"
In response to Reply # 3


  

          


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

Movies I need y'all bastids to see so we can discuss:

Five Star - https://goo.gl/jBHbVv
Appropriate Behavior - http://goo.gl/isCzTM
Ma

  

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caramelapplebttms
Member since Mar 09th 2004
3152 posts
Fri Nov-06-15 03:43 PM

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7. "It's not about the shower itself, but collective resources"
In response to Reply # 4


  

          

and bringing the baby into a community, which is what the shower is for. Again, nothing should be done to make the baby feel unwanted or unwelcomed before the baby even gets here.

  

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micMajestic
Charter member
22917 posts
Fri Nov-06-15 03:57 PM

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16. "The baby can sense all the bad vibrations bro"
In response to Reply # 4
Fri Nov-06-15 03:59 PM by micMajestic

          

Kinetic energy yahmean, the lack of outside love will make the womb constrict.

But seriously speaking, I can't get past the baby at 16 part. I guess there's no lesson to be taught once the decision is made to have the baby. May as well have the shower.

  

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caramelapplebttms
Member since Mar 09th 2004
3152 posts
Fri Nov-06-15 04:08 PM

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26. "Agreement on all fronts"
In response to Reply # 16


  

          

She's already pregnant, so if you're gonna be disappointed, be disappointed in your job as a parent and keep it moving.

  

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John Forte
Member since Feb 22nd 2013
15330 posts
Fri Nov-06-15 03:43 PM

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6. "My 16 yr old pregnant daughter would not he pregnant "
In response to Reply # 0


          

Because I would personally take her to the doctor to get her birth control shots.

  

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Buddy_Gilapagos
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46167 posts
Fri Nov-06-15 03:44 PM

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8. "Or the clinic. "
In response to Reply # 6


  

          


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

Movies I need y'all bastids to see so we can discuss:

Five Star - https://goo.gl/jBHbVv
Appropriate Behavior - http://goo.gl/isCzTM
Ma

  

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John Forte
Member since Feb 22nd 2013
15330 posts
Fri Nov-06-15 03:52 PM

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15. "I'm not disagreeing "
In response to Reply # 8


          

  

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ndibs
Member since Aug 06th 2012
12715 posts
Fri Nov-06-15 03:44 PM

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9. "at what age 11? that's when most girls get their periods?"
In response to Reply # 6


          

?

  

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John Forte
Member since Feb 22nd 2013
15330 posts
Fri Nov-06-15 03:46 PM

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10. "I dunno, but definitely by the first day of hs"
In response to Reply # 9


          

  

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ndibs
Member since Aug 06th 2012
12715 posts
Fri Nov-06-15 04:03 PM

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19. "good luck with that."
In response to Reply # 10


          

aside from the usual side effects (bone loss, brain, shrinkage, irritability) you can get blood clots and die. most can't tolerate the side effects.

sFor example, a two-year study of over 5,000 women receiving Depo injections at Planned Parenthood of the Rocky Mountains reported: “Of the 5,178 women who received an initial injection, only 57% returned for a second administration; . . . . The overall one-year continuation rate was 23%. The main reason women gave for not returning for subsequent injections was “difficulty tolerating side effects.”

Read more at: http://www.nationalreview.com/critical-condition/282126/depo-provera-what-nyt-did-not-see-fit-print-susan-e-wills

Women who use Depo-Provera Contraceptive Injection may lose significant bone mineral density. Bone loss is greater with increasing duration of use and may not be completely reversible. … Depo-Provera Contraceptive Injection should not be used as a long-term birth control method (i.e., longer than 2 years).

Read more at: http://www.nationalreview.com/critical-condition/282126/depo-provera-what-nyt-did-not-see-fit-print-susan-e-wills

Serious thrombotic events (blood clots), which can lead to cardiac arrest and stroke. Here’s a helpful tip for doctors: “Do not readminister Depo-Provera CI pending examination if there is a sudden partial or complete loss of vision.” Breast cancer: Hormone sensitive breast cancers (which often strike younger women) occur twice as often in women under 35 who have used Depo in the previous four years. After discontinuation, the additional risk diminishes over time. Ectopic pregnancy: Women who become pregnant while using Depo have an increased risk of a potentially life-threatening ectopic pregnancy. Depression, irritability, and mood swings are frequent complaints of women discussing their reactions to Depo online, but the drug label does not provide statistics on frequency in actual use (post-trials) other than noting these may occur.

Read more at: http://www.nationalreview.com/critical-condition/282126/depo-provera-what-nyt-did-not-see-fit-print-susan-e-wills
About 130 deaths have been linked to the patch, and over 2,400 women have claimed that the patch caused them to have blood clots that resulted in heart attack, stroke or pulmonary embolism. The doubled risk of these events has resulted in settlements totaling over $68 million. NuvaRing has caused only 40 known deaths so far (per the FDA database), but the manufacturer is facing 730 lawsuits for blood clot-related injuries and deaths.

Read more at: http://www.nationalreview.com/critical-condition/282126/depo-provera-what-nyt-did-not-see-fit-print-susan-e-wills

  

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John Forte
Member since Feb 22nd 2013
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Fri Nov-06-15 04:06 PM

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23. "Well this is mildly terrifying "
In response to Reply # 19


          

  

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ndibs
Member since Aug 06th 2012
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Fri Nov-06-15 04:35 PM

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40. "well it's mostly safe, just generally pretty unpleasant as the norm."
In response to Reply # 23


          

you're baiscally pregnant, at least hormonally, the whole time you're on the birth control pill.

it's not something you would want to force on someone.

  

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akon
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120. "well this is a bunch of lies"
In response to Reply # 19
Sun Nov-08-15 03:16 PM by akon

  

          

or very subjective reading of studies, at that

depo is one of the safest birth control options
its a shame its not promoted for younger women

actually, i think they should be promoting the longer-acting birth control options- teens should really consider the IUCD or the hormonal implants

.
http://perspectivesudans.blogspot.com/
i myself would never want to be god,or even like god.Because god got all these human beings on this planet and i most certainly would not want to be responsible for them, or even have the disgrace that i made them.

  

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GirlChild
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142. "I've heard a lot of horror stories about the shot"
In response to Reply # 120


  

          

Like very bad side effects. Same thing with that ring. I prefer encouraging the pill and condoms.

  

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akon
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173. "ive also heard great things about the shot"
In response to Reply # 142


  

          

this doesnt really leave us anywhere

a minority of persons do have side effects - its a very small minority
majority of women on the pill, the iucd, the rods, etc
experience very minor side effects which go away after sometime
its why its really important that women are informed about what to expect

they also get the benefit of regulating their periods, reducing menstrual cramps, it clears up achne, reduces risk of getting certain cancers, prevents pregnancy etc etc.

.
http://perspectivesudans.blogspot.com/
i myself would never want to be god,or even like god.Because god got all these human beings on this planet and i most certainly would not want to be responsible for them, or even have the disgrace that i made them.

  

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Buddy_Gilapagos
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11. "When them not so little anymore boys start calling. "
In response to Reply # 9


  

          


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

Movies I need y'all bastids to see so we can discuss:

Five Star - https://goo.gl/jBHbVv
Appropriate Behavior - http://goo.gl/isCzTM
Ma

  

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NikaMandela
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18. "birth control isnt easy and painless and is a big responsibility"
In response to Reply # 6


          

hormonal birth control has A LOT of side effects. the thought of a woman taking them from 16 on does not seem very smart imo. plus the hormonal changes that occur with BC in addition to the standard hormonal changes that occur during a menstrual cycle...i can see that being a bit much for a teenager.

the shot is very risky. the pill is cool, but how many teenage girls are responsible enough to take them every single day at the same time??

i dont think theres a life hack for this.

  

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John Forte
Member since Feb 22nd 2013
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Fri Nov-06-15 04:05 PM

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22. "I hope that I've done enough homework by the time we get there"
In response to Reply # 18


          

Or that we have safer methods, but some risks are riskier than others.

  

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NikaMandela
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35. "AGREED!"
In response to Reply # 22
Fri Nov-06-15 04:22 PM by NikaMandela

          

i do think theres a lot of ground to cover with bc.

eventually we'll get to the point where females will extract all their eggs as children and sterilize themselves, then go to their egg harvesting center when they want to procreate and do the test tube thing...maybe not 15 yrs off, but perhaps 50 yrs off.

  

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ndibs
Member since Aug 06th 2012
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Fri Nov-06-15 04:39 PM

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42. "you may just have to talk to her"
In response to Reply # 22


          

it's not the norm for kids whose parents aren't super christian abstinence only anti birth control anti condom types (think the palins) to have kids get pregnant unless they're lower class. i would think you'd want kids to use condoms anyway to protect against stds.

  

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akon
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127. "where are we getting this info? LARCs are very safe and effective"
In response to Reply # 18


  

          

hormonal birth control has mainly minor side-effects
which go away after a few months of consistent use
in fact, even the longer acting hormones - very few women experience adverse side effects
for the majority of women- side effects are mild and transitory

long-term contraceptives is exactly what is appropriate for a young 16 year old
who is trying to delay pregnancy for at least 7 years
many of the concerns for IUCDs and the rods have been dispelled over the years as simply that
in fact for majority of non-US (and sensible) countries
LARC are the preferred method offered to teenagers
it really is way past time the U.S begun offering informed choices of contraceptive options for women and girls

here's the people i trust when it comes to RH issues: https://www.guttmacher.org/pubs/gpr/16/4/gpr160413.html

.
http://perspectivesudans.blogspot.com/
i myself would never want to be god,or even like god.Because god got all these human beings on this planet and i most certainly would not want to be responsible for them, or even have the disgrace that i made them.

  

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SoWhat
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Fri Nov-06-15 04:08 PM

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25. "yes but if she is would you throw her a baby shower?"
In response to Reply # 6
Fri Nov-06-15 04:09 PM by SoWhat

  

          

btw...you probably can't force your 16 year old daughter to have a b/c shot. or, no doctor is going to give her that shot at your order against her will. i don't think.

fuck you.

  

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John Forte
Member since Feb 22nd 2013
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Fri Nov-06-15 04:13 PM

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29. "I can sprinkle it on her cornflakes "
In response to Reply # 25


          

Or slip some in her heroin.

  

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SoWhat
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32. "lol"
In response to Reply # 29


  

          

fuck you.

  

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Regina Rose
Member since Jul 01st 2008
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Sat Nov-07-15 08:09 AM

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72. "I kmew a girl whose brothers would slip it "
In response to Reply # 25


  

          

into het food in the morning

  

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Cold Truth
Member since Jan 28th 2004
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Fri Nov-06-15 03:48 PM

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12. "Not sure what being 16 has to do with anything."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

It's not ideal. I'd be pissed, worried, scared for her, frustrated, and above all else, understanding because she would most likely feel a similar combination of anger, worry, frustration, fear, and even failure and no amount of cold shoulders, wagging fingers, and chastisement will do an ounce of good.

Not allowing a baby shower only reinforces that she's "bad" and a disappointment.

I call bullshit on the notion of it being "inappropriate" and "nothing to celebrate". That's just pearl clutching nonsense.

If my daughter gets pregnant at 16, my complete and unyielding support and understanding will be needed in droves. Conversely, scolding and passive aggressive moralizing won't do a damn bit of good.

  

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Buddy_Gilapagos
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17. "You saying it's not disappointing for your 16 year old to get pregnant?"
In response to Reply # 12
Fri Nov-06-15 03:57 PM by Buddy_Gilapagos

  

          

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

Movies I need y'all bastids to see so we can discuss:

Five Star - https://goo.gl/jBHbVv
Appropriate Behavior - http://goo.gl/isCzTM
Ma

  

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veritas
Member since Sep 16th 2002
37200 posts
Fri Nov-06-15 04:04 PM

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20. "Difference between a child disappointing and being"
In response to Reply # 17


          

a disappointment.

At least I think that's part of the distinction CT is making.

i still blame hip-hop.

  

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SoWhat
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28. "i agree."
In response to Reply # 20


  

          

fuck you.

  

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Cold Truth
Member since Jan 28th 2004
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Fri Nov-06-15 04:15 PM

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33. "Exactly. My disappointment can go fuck itself "
In response to Reply # 20


  

          

I'll deal with that. There's no point in making sure she knows good and well how disappointed I am.

I think this situation is a simple matter of looking at the greater good for your child.

If you throw a baby shower for your pregnant 16 year but fail to address the severity of this situation, that's no good for anyone. To me you still need to address the situation in a way that emphasizes that life will be different, priorities will change, and she now has to make decisions based on what's ultimately best for her child. Those are the points that need to be driven home in no uncertain terms, not reinforcing what a naughty disappointment she was in route to getting pregnant.

  

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Cold Truth
Member since Jan 28th 2004
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Fri Nov-06-15 04:10 PM

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27. "Come on man, don't be dense about this. "
In response to Reply # 17


  

          

I'm saying there's no sensing in hammering that disappointment home.

You can't put that genie back in the bottle.
Stop for a second and think.

You don't think she'd already feel a profound sense of failure and disappointment? Unless she's a spoiled, self centered, disrespectful problem child, she'll probably feel an awful lot of things and disappointing her loving parents is probably a huge weight on her shoulders as it is.

What good will come from hammering that home further?

Don't get me wrong, there are discussions to be had in this situation, but no baby shower is harsh. You could argue that a shower would essentially be a celebration of poor decisions but I disagree completely.

You discipline and chastise your kid when you catch them in the act of getting pregnant. If she winds up getting pregnant though? That's a whole new ballgame. Now she has to learn to be an adult. Now her life choices are altered in major ways. Now her priorities need to change dramatically. Frankly, that's punishment enough and my disappointment can kick rocks and cry rivers because MY priority at that point shifts toward helping her manage a life-altering change.

Any whip cracking and discipline that mattered needed to be done prior to this happening and there's no need to take an extra pound of flesh for a very human mistake.

  

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SoWhat
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Fri Nov-06-15 04:14 PM

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30. "^^ all of that."
In response to Reply # 27


  

          

fuck you.

  

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Buddy_Gilapagos
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Fri Nov-06-15 04:21 PM

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34. "I hear you, but I still wouldn't support a baby shower. But then, I hate"
In response to Reply # 27
Fri Nov-06-15 04:23 PM by Buddy_Gilapagos

  

          

baby showers. Also alot of all that is moot to me because I'd be about that clinic (if I had my say).




>I'm saying there's no sensing in hammering that
>disappointment home.
>
>You can't put that genie back in the bottle.
>Stop for a second and think.
>
>You don't think she'd already feel a profound sense of failure
>and disappointment? Unless she's a spoiled, self centered,
>disrespectful problem child, she'll probably feel an awful lot
>of things and disappointing her loving parents is probably a
>huge weight on her shoulders as it is.
>
>What good will come from hammering that home further?
>
>Don't get me wrong, there are discussions to be had in this
>situation, but no baby shower is harsh. You could argue that a
>shower would essentially be a celebration of poor decisions
>but I disagree completely.
>
>You discipline and chastise your kid when you catch them in
>the act of getting pregnant. If she winds up getting pregnant
>though? That's a whole new ballgame. Now she has to learn to
>be an adult. Now her life choices are altered in major ways.
>Now her priorities need to change dramatically. Frankly,
>that's punishment enough and my disappointment can kick rocks
>and cry rivers because MY priority at that point shifts toward
>helping her manage a life-altering change.
>
>Any whip cracking and discipline that mattered needed to be
>done prior to this happening and there's no need to take an
>extra pound of flesh for a very human mistake.
>
>


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

Movies I need y'all bastids to see so we can discuss:

Five Star - https://goo.gl/jBHbVv
Appropriate Behavior - http://goo.gl/isCzTM
Ma

  

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SoWhat
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Fri Nov-06-15 05:32 PM

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54. "but what if she doesn't want an abortion?"
In response to Reply # 34
Fri Nov-06-15 05:32 PM by SoWhat

  

          

you can't force her to have one.

she's gonna have the baby.

are you going to help w/the shower or nah?

fuck you.

  

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Buddy_Gilapagos
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62. "I just posed this to the wife. She said there would be a small"
In response to Reply # 54


  

          

shower for the family, but not a huge to do with friends and everyone.

They wouldn't want my help. I'd be that old drunk dude the other dude described.


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

Movies I need y'all bastids to see so we can discuss:

Five Star - https://goo.gl/jBHbVv
Appropriate Behavior - http://goo.gl/isCzTM
Ma

  

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ambient1
Member since May 23rd 2007
41077 posts
Fri Nov-06-15 03:48 PM

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13. "good question....9.5 x's outta 10 i'd be against it..or wouldn't"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

'participate'

or be the grumpy angry black man walkin around drunk out my mind wonderin who all these lil goofy teenagers are and mean mugging the father the entire time lookin and dressed exactly like this

http://ct.fra.bz/il/fz/se/i49/5/5/20/f_0ce45d3ab3.jpg




but I don't have a daughter... thank u lawd

=======================================
Coolin...

  

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Big Kuntry
Member since May 09th 2010
14866 posts
Fri Nov-06-15 03:51 PM

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14. "LMFAO!!"
In response to Reply # 13


  

          

  

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JellyBean
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Fri Nov-06-15 04:04 PM

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21. "If everyone is excited..."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

have the damn party. I damn sure wouldn't let her 16 yr old friends plan it. I think they should limit it to family--his and hers--that's it.

"Holier than thou never sits well with me."(c)janey

"OKP spends way too much time looking for ways to be offended." ~legsdiamond


http://twitter.com/jeleighbean

  

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SoWhat
Charter member
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Fri Nov-06-15 04:08 PM

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24. "YUP."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

fuck you.

  

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DVS
Member since Sep 13th 2002
19730 posts
Fri Nov-06-15 04:14 PM

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31. "What does not throwing a shower prove? Not a damn thing"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

Throw the shower. Shit happens. Make Lemonade.

D

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

Waldorf and Statler Vol 4:CONAN IS OUT NOW!!!: http://waldorfandstatler.bandcamp.com

and don't forget to check "DVS 4 ALDERMAN"

http://windimoto.bandcamp.com/album/dvs-4-alderman-bandcamp-exclusive-expanded-editio

  

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SoWhat
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Fri Nov-06-15 04:23 PM

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36. "every single time i've heard a future grandparent say"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

they will have NOTHING to do w/their pregnant teen daughter's baby, that baby has ended up thoroughly spoiled by that grandparent. spoiled absolutely rotten. to the point where the grandparent ended up basically raising the grandchild they said they'd have nothing to do with.

one of my aunties drove herself into bankruptcy spoiling the granddaughter she wanted 'nothing to do with'. LOL

i see y'all in here.

fuck you.

  

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Buddy_Gilapagos
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Fri Nov-06-15 04:41 PM

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44. "I hear you but saying we don't need a baby shower isn't the same"
In response to Reply # 36


  

          

...as saying we are going to have nothing to do with the baby.



**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

Movies I need y'all bastids to see so we can discuss:

Five Star - https://goo.gl/jBHbVv
Appropriate Behavior - http://goo.gl/isCzTM
Ma

  

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SoWhat
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Fri Nov-06-15 04:59 PM

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50. "i didn't say it was."
In response to Reply # 44


  

          

but this discussion reminded me of those incidents.

fuck you.

  

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BigJazz
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Fri Nov-06-15 04:27 PM

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37. "i'm not throwing it or attending it"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

of course i'll probably end up financing most of it but that's the extent of my involvement. my money will be there but i won't

  

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Big Kuntry
Member since May 09th 2010
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Fri Nov-06-15 04:39 PM

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41. "I questioned if she'd really value it the same way she would if she was...."
In response to Reply # 37


  

          

older cuz in a teenage mind everything is, "meh".

Iont know, bruh.

  

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BigJazz
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Fri Nov-06-15 04:41 PM

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43. "a teenager's mind can be "meh". but a parent's mind can't be"
In response to Reply # 41


  

          

that 16 year old mother's whole style has to change if she's gonna be a good parent


***
I'm tryna be better off, not better than...

  

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Big Kuntry
Member since May 09th 2010
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Fri Nov-06-15 04:52 PM

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46. "Nvm I misread it "
In response to Reply # 43
Fri Nov-06-15 04:53 PM by Big Kuntry

  

          

.

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
70313 posts
Fri Nov-06-15 04:28 PM

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38. "hell no"
In response to Reply # 0


          

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

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Heinz
Member since Dec 26th 2003
20294 posts
Fri Nov-06-15 04:49 PM

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"The baby shower can happen after i throw up and hang myself lol"


  

          

At least thats how i would i feel inside but yeah ionno about a BIG baby shower maybe something small tho




____

TWITTER : Heinz21st

IG : H_N_Z

  

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Heinz
Member since Dec 26th 2003
20294 posts
Fri Nov-06-15 04:49 PM

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45. "The baby shower can happen after i throw up and hang myself lol"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

At least thats how i would i feel inside but yeah ionno about a BIG baby shower maybe something small tho




____

TWITTER : Heinz21st

IG : H_N_Z

  

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ILLwiLL132
Member since Jul 14th 2011
217 posts
Fri Nov-06-15 04:54 PM

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47. "RE: Would you throw your 16 yr old pregnant daughter a baby shower?"
In response to Reply # 0
Fri Nov-06-15 05:03 PM by ILLwiLL132

          

That's dumb as hell to not throw one because of her age... if her mom had such a problem with her having the kid why didn't they force her to have an abortion?... What kinda lesson is that going to teach their daughter? Next time don't get pregnant at 16??? LMAO... Oh they want to shame her right before she has the child so she can suffer from postpartum depression after the baby is born... Pretty smart friends you have.

I'm for truth no matter who tells it. I'm for justice no matter who it's for or against. - el Hajj Malik el Shabazz

  

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tariqhu
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Fri Nov-06-15 04:55 PM

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48. "I'm sure I'd be pissed initially"
In response to Reply # 0


          

but if we're at the point of discussing showers, we're past any alternatives to not having a baby.

we'd deal and move forward. can't be disappointed forever.

Y'all buy those labels, I was born supreme

  

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RobOne4
Member since Jun 06th 2003
56614 posts
Fri Nov-06-15 05:06 PM

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51. "a baby shower is a celebration so fuck no"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

I am not celebrating your mistake. Yes a child is a wonderful thing but at 16 it is a fucking mistake. But I would still help them out with things that they might need. Stroller, bottles, carseat, etc. I would let family know if they want to they can also help out. But we are not throwing you a party so you can celebrate.

November 8th, 2005 The greatest night in the history of GD!

  

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ILLwiLL132
Member since Jul 14th 2011
217 posts
Fri Nov-06-15 05:23 PM

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53. "RE: a baby shower is a celebration so fuck no"
In response to Reply # 51


          

But isn't that what a baby shower is to invite family and friends in support of this new life? I'm sure the girl didn't get pregnant to have a party... Who does that?... most likely not having the shower for this reason may spark resentment in the 16yr old towards her parents .. Cause if they're making a big deal out of a baby shower I'm sure they trip about all kinds of stupid shit wit her... If ur that disappointed with your child why are you letting her have the baby? Makes no sense

I'm for truth no matter who tells it. I'm for justice no matter who it's for or against. - el Hajj Malik el Shabazz

  

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atruhead
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Fri Nov-06-15 05:07 PM

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52. "16 isnt super young anymore."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

you can definitely wind up a productive adult if you had a kid at 16 too

a family's job is to love unconditionally without judgement, I think they're most worried about what other people will think

pregnancy isnt the end of the world, just a new responsibility for everyone involved

  

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Trinity444
Charter member
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Fri Nov-06-15 05:38 PM

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55. "and I bear witness..."
In response to Reply # 52


  

          

its really comes down to how involved the parents.

  

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John Forte
Member since Feb 22nd 2013
15330 posts
Sat Nov-07-15 12:03 PM

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79. "WTF are you talking about? This ain't the 90s. "
In response to Reply # 52


          

Teen pregnancy is at all-time lows. Getting pregnant at 16 is a BIGGER deal now.

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
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Sat Nov-07-15 02:20 PM

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83. "IKR"
In response to Reply # 79


          

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

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atruhead
Charter member
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Sun Nov-08-15 05:56 PM

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121. "Fine, I'll say it for you like you're a retard."
In response to Reply # 79


  

          

sixteen isnt super young to be a mom in 2015

it's never been the norm as long as I've been alive, but it's not the end of the world either. 11th graders are fucking without much more concept of responsibility than a college freshman

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
70313 posts
Mon Nov-09-15 09:28 AM

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147. "smh... 16 is young bruh"
In response to Reply # 121


          

not sure why you had to use that regard statement tho...

for someone who doesn't judge you sure are quick to pop off when challenged.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

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atruhead
Charter member
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Mon Nov-09-15 03:41 PM

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169. "I typed in clear English, he asked what I was talking about"
In response to Reply # 147


  

          

so I typed it again like he was mentally challenged

  

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ShinobiShaw
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Mon Nov-09-15 02:52 PM

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168. "You can't even drive if you are 16 in alot of states still "
In response to Reply # 52


  

          

http://soundcloud.com/djshinobishaw
http://www.rareformnyc.com
http://twitter.com/DJShinobiShaw
https://twitter.com/RareFormNYC
PSN: ShinobiShaw

"Arm Leg Leg Arm How you doin?" (c)T510

  

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BrooklynWHAT
Member since Jun 15th 2007
81611 posts
Fri Nov-06-15 05:52 PM

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56. "it's too late to shame and punish ol girl. may as well embrace it."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

and everything that come with it.

<--- Big Baller World Order

  

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GOMEZ
Member since Feb 13th 2003
5455 posts
Fri Nov-06-15 06:07 PM

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57. "I'd keep it low key and positive, but it's not gonna be a bash"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

There's going to be plenty of times for reality checks. You don't have to suck the joy out of every part of the process, though.

You want her to be a happy and engaged mom, you gotta get her excited about being a mom, and all the hard work it entails. Keep it positive, but keep it real. You can't do that by finding petty ways to shit on her and express your disappointment. However, if she wants a party like she seen on MTV's Sweet 16, feel free to ruin her illusions and fantasies about shit like that.

I've got a 14 y.o. daughter so this whole idea is giving me a brain bubble.


In a generation of swine, the one-eyed pig is king.
-Hunter S. Thompson

  

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Ted Gee Seal
Member since Apr 18th 2007
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Fri Nov-06-15 06:32 PM

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58. "Start as you mean to carry on"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

If you want the child to grow up feeling shame around their existence bring that energy, or if you want them to have the same love all children deserve then do that.

Just IMO though.

  

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Buddy_Gilapagos
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Fri Nov-06-15 07:00 PM

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60. "Yeah Yeah but all that ain't got lick to do with having a shower."
In response to Reply # 58


  

          

A baby doesn't need a shower. A shower ain't a birthright or an important part of a child's mental health development. I guess if I don't give my child a sweet sixteen parto I don't love them? Yale stay keeping it dramatic.


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

Movies I need y'all bastids to see so we can discuss:

Five Star - https://goo.gl/jBHbVv
Appropriate Behavior - http://goo.gl/isCzTM
Ma

  

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GOMEZ
Member since Feb 13th 2003
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Fri Nov-06-15 07:14 PM

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63. "It's part of the preparation for becoming a mother though"
In response to Reply # 60


  

          

It's not 100% vital or anything, but I could see it being a positive thing for a 16 year old who's planning on raising a child.

In a generation of swine, the one-eyed pig is king.
-Hunter S. Thompson

  

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Buddy_Gilapagos
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Sat Nov-07-15 08:13 AM

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76. "It's not a part of the preparation for becoming a mother. Most mothers"
In response to Reply # 63


  

          

across the globe don't have Baby showers when they have a child. ANd yet, women continue to have children.


It's a privileged entitlement. Not having a baby shower is some first world problems shit y'all trying to make out to be detrimental to a mother and child's development if denied.



**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

Movies I need y'all bastids to see so we can discuss:

Five Star - https://goo.gl/jBHbVv
Appropriate Behavior - http://goo.gl/isCzTM
Ma

  

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ConcreteCharlie
Member since Nov 21st 2002
71344 posts
Fri Nov-06-15 10:46 PM

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66. "It's for the mother, not the baby, dumbass"
In response to Reply # 60


  

          

And you will know MY JACKET IS GOLD when I lay my vengeance upon thee.

  

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ConcreteCharlie
Member since Nov 21st 2002
71344 posts
Fri Nov-06-15 10:46 PM

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67. "It's for the mother, not the baby, dumbass"
In response to Reply # 60


  

          

And you will know MY JACKET IS GOLD when I lay my vengeance upon thee.

  

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Buddy_Gilapagos
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Sat Nov-07-15 08:09 AM

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73. "Tell that to all the ppl in here talking about how detrimental it is"
In response to Reply # 67
Sat Nov-07-15 08:21 AM by Buddy_Gilapagos

  

          

to the baby it is to not throw a shower.

At any rate. Replace Baby with Mother in my statement and it still stands.

A mother doesn't need a shower. A shower ain't a birthright or an important part of a mother's mental health development. I guess if I don't give my daugher a sweet sixteen parto I don't love them? Y'all stay keeping it dramatic.

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

Movies I need y'all bastids to see so we can discuss:

Five Star - https://goo.gl/jBHbVv
Appropriate Behavior - http://goo.gl/isCzTM
Ma

  

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Buddy_Gilapagos
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Sat Nov-07-15 08:10 AM

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74. "Why you name calling though? Hitting close to home?"
In response to Reply # 67


  

          

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

Movies I need y'all bastids to see so we can discuss:

Five Star - https://goo.gl/jBHbVv
Appropriate Behavior - http://goo.gl/isCzTM
Ma

  

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ConcreteCharlie
Member since Nov 21st 2002
71344 posts
Sat Nov-07-15 12:21 PM

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80. "awful guess, have zero daughters, sisters, childhood pregnancies"
In response to Reply # 74
Sat Nov-07-15 12:23 PM by ConcreteCharlie

  

          

and why the name-calling? i mean, come on, the kid isn't even fuckin' born yet. while perhaps not indicative of your overall body of work, what you typed was pretty dense, man.

And you will know MY JACKET IS GOLD when I lay my vengeance upon thee.

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
70313 posts
Sat Nov-07-15 02:27 PM

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86. "I have 2 sisters who got pregnant at 17 and 18"
In response to Reply # 80


          

there was no reason to celebrate with a baby shower.

baby's were spoiled once they got here and loved unconditionally tho

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

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ConcreteCharlie
Member since Nov 21st 2002
71344 posts
Sun Nov-08-15 08:25 PM

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132. "it's a personal decision and then a family decision, obviously"
In response to Reply # 86


  

          

but like i said, i mean if she wants it, i don't see any reason to make things uncomfortable, and clearly the shower is for her, not someone who isn't even sentient yet.

And you will know MY JACKET IS GOLD when I lay my vengeance upon thee.

  

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Ted Gee Seal
Member since Apr 18th 2007
10090 posts
Sat Nov-07-15 03:40 PM

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89. "What you're saying doesn't have a lick to do with my principle"
In response to Reply # 60


  

          

>A baby doesn't need a shower. A shower ain't a birthright or
>an important part of a child's mental health development. I
>guess if I don't give my child a sweet sixteen parto I don't
>love them? Yale stay keeping it dramatic.

If the child was a product of whatever the grandparents deem proper and respectful they would have a baby shower. It doesn't, so they're having second thoughts. The conversation here isn't about whether having a baby shower is a birthright. If the family didn't do baby showers at all this whole post would be irrelevant. So all that drama you brought about sweet sixteens was likewise irrelevant, and a hypocrisy after your gripe about drama.

This is about the energy grandparents bring to the birth of a child conceived outside of their sensibilities. As I said, start as you mean to carry on. Shame the daughter, well, I'm sure that never leads to the daughter feeling shameful about their child and the child growing up with issues around their existence. Maybe you like to roll the dice over the sake of the future of the blameless child.

Having watched from the outside looking in at different relatives who have taken opposing approaches this issue, guess which kids have grown up better adjusted?

Just IMO though.

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
70313 posts
Sat Nov-07-15 04:36 PM

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91. "nah, I think the kid with the better parent "
In response to Reply # 89


          

has a better chance of adjusting. A babyshower or a parent showing disappointment with their 16 year old being pregnant doesn't determine the outcome.





****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

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Ted Gee Seal
Member since Apr 18th 2007
10090 posts
Sat Nov-07-15 05:20 PM

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96. "Tossing seeds out a window and having one grow into a tree"
In response to Reply # 91


  

          

>has a better chance of adjusting. A babyshower or a parent
>showing disappointment with their 16 year old being pregnant
>doesn't determine the outcome.
>

Does not support seed throwing as a good method for cultivating good growth in plants.

Of course people can succeed in spite of their environment, but that doesn't make those who don't succeed because of their environment solely responsible for the failure.

Just IMO though.

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
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Sat Nov-07-15 07:15 PM

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104. "you smoking that good shit bruh"
In response to Reply # 96


          

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

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Ted Gee Seal
Member since Apr 18th 2007
10090 posts
Mon Nov-09-15 02:49 AM

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136. "Thought you'd last longer"
In response to Reply # 104


  

          

Before you ran out of substance and reached for the ad hominem.

Not much longer though.

Just IMO though.

  

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Buddy_Gilapagos
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Sat Nov-07-15 05:44 PM

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99. "It was the lack of babyshower & bad energy that made the..."
In response to Reply # 89


  

          

difference? Or was it the kid having a baby at sixteen out of wedlock? Curious how you isolated one possible source from the other.


>Having watched from the outside looking in at different
>relatives who have taken opposing approaches this issue, guess
>which kids have grown up better adjusted?


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

Movies I need y'all bastids to see so we can discuss:

Five Star - https://goo.gl/jBHbVv
Appropriate Behavior - http://goo.gl/isCzTM
Ma

  

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Ted Gee Seal
Member since Apr 18th 2007
10090 posts
Mon Nov-09-15 03:04 AM

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138. "Try reading"
In response to Reply # 99


  

          

Start.as.you.mean.to.carry.on

The parties were all young girls having babies out of wedlock and the more supportive grandparents ended up having the better adjusted and more 'successful' grandchildren. On the one hand the mother was made to feel as self conscious about her situation as possible and it has clearly rubbed off on the kid. The other was embraced as any other kid would be and he's doing much better.

You want to act like it would all be isolated to the lack of a baby shower. I've addressed why I'm skeptical of that.

But carry on. It certainly conforms to what I said.



>difference? Or was it the kid having a baby at sixteen out of
>wedlock? Curious how you isolated one possible source from the
>other.
>
>
>>Having watched from the outside looking in at different
>>relatives who have taken opposing approaches this issue,
>guess
>>which kids have grown up better adjusted?
>
>
>**********
>"Everyone has a

Just IMO though.

  

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Case_One
Charter member
54687 posts
Mon Nov-09-15 12:24 PM

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162. "REAL TALK!"
In response to Reply # 60


          


.
.
.

  

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eclipsedInI
Member since Jul 29th 2002
92830 posts
Fri Nov-06-15 06:59 PM

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59. "ask ya great grandmammy"
In response to Reply # 0


          

_____________________
puttin' the roota in the toota since 98'

  

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Buddy_Gilapagos
Charter member
46167 posts
Fri Nov-06-15 07:06 PM

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61. "When my great grandmother had my grandma at 16"
In response to Reply # 59
Fri Nov-06-15 07:06 PM by Buddy_Gilapagos

  

          

(or was it 14?) they didn't throw her a shower. Instead they shipped her to her aunt's family who raised her.


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

Movies I need y'all bastids to see so we can discuss:

Five Star - https://goo.gl/jBHbVv
Appropriate Behavior - http://goo.gl/isCzTM
Ma

  

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ConcreteCharlie
Member since Nov 21st 2002
71344 posts
Fri Nov-06-15 08:20 PM

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64. "I mean, she is having the kid, right?"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

Once you commit to the whole ordeal, I think you gotta treat it as normal and have no shame/stigma involved. Maybe that is WPS but that's what I think and firmly so.

And you will know MY JACKET IS GOLD when I lay my vengeance upon thee.

  

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Mori
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3485 posts
Fri Nov-06-15 10:39 PM

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65. "These responses make me want to cry"
In response to Reply # 0


          

Being pregnant is such a spiritual and powerful experience. Whether the woman is 16 or 36. It is a life. Why not honor this future mom? Give her advice on how to be a centered woman?

When is the right age to have a baby? Nature would say 16!

Our society is so sickening toward pregnant woman.

Rise & Shine
Thrive & Grind
Heart & Mind

  

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Heinz
Member since Dec 26th 2003
20294 posts
Fri Nov-06-15 10:52 PM

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68. "Lol get that hippy shit outta here"
In response to Reply # 65


  

          

Listen I don't think anyone would disown their 16 year old for getting preggos but acting as if it's nots an idiotic thing with a silver lining (a beautiful kid) is ridiculous and sending the wrong message. You can show love and support while dealing with disappointment.
____

TWITTER : Heinz21st

IG : H_N_Z

  

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Mori
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3485 posts
Sun Nov-08-15 09:01 PM

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133. "Couple spends $77k tryg on failed infertility treatments"
In response to Reply # 68


          

Getting pregnant at 16 is not idiotic. It happens and women survive and kids go on to be beautiful amazing people all over the world.

Is it idiotic to spend $77k on fertility treatments? Is it idiotic to put off pregnancy later in life because you were afraid to look stupid or immature in front of friends or family?

http://www.redbookmag.com/body/pregnancy-fertility/a40826/stop-trying-infertility-treatment/


This girl didn't do any harm to anyone and she will most likely be a wonderful mother.


Rise & Shine
Thrive & Grind
Heart & Mind

  

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Boogie Stimuli
Member since Sep 24th 2010
13367 posts
Sat Nov-07-15 01:10 AM

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69. "Real talk"
In response to Reply # 65


          

~
~
~
~
~
"Until you get outta my way, I don't wanna hear what you say aye aye"

  

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Damali
Member since Sep 12th 2002
35198 posts
Sun Nov-08-15 10:35 AM

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108. "thank you. i don't even have the energy to type how i feel."
In response to Reply # 65


          

shit's disgusting.

d

  

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Mafamaticks
Member since Jan 12th 2004
4394 posts
Sat Nov-07-15 07:30 AM

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71. "Might as well"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

If my daughter got pregnant she knows she just drastically changed her life and has to deal with what comes with making that decision.

She lost all of the fun she had as a teen so she might as well experience all the fun she's gonna have as a mom/adult.

  

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Regina Rose
Member since Jul 01st 2008
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Sat Nov-07-15 08:11 AM

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75. "when I was a teen I wasnt allowed to attend teen baby showers "
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

for the reason listed I the OP

My parents always felt like you shouldn't be celebrating teen pregnancy
..yay for babies but a shower is a social gathering for the mom to be

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
70313 posts
Sat Nov-07-15 02:21 PM

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84. "exactly"
In response to Reply # 75


          

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

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Amritsar
Member since Jan 18th 2008
30731 posts
Sat Nov-07-15 09:56 AM

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77. "Babies having baby showers------------------------------ we didn't make ..."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

_______________________________________________
"Mindless populism embodied by Trump and Sanders are like a malignant wart on our body politic"

  

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Buddy_Gilapagos
Charter member
46167 posts
Sat Nov-07-15 10:27 AM

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78. "How does most of the world & human history manage to make it..."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

without having Baby Showers?


Ain't it some entitled priveleged first world type problems to argue that it is damaging to a mother (or child) to deny them a party with gifts?




>My boys daughter is pregnant wit her first child. The smoke
>has now cleared & he & his wife are geeked to be having a new
>bundle of joy.
>
> However, she doesn't think it's appropriate to have a shower
>cuz of her age & according to her, bein 16 and pregnant isn't
>anything to celebrate. She recommended having a small dinner
>wit the family and everyone brings pampers, bottles, etc. My
>boy on the other hand wants to go all out to recognize the
>birth of his first grand.
>
>I can see where they're both coming from but it is what it is
>*shrug*


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

Movies I need y'all bastids to see so we can discuss:

Five Star - https://goo.gl/jBHbVv
Appropriate Behavior - http://goo.gl/isCzTM
Ma

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
70313 posts
Sat Nov-07-15 02:23 PM

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85. "these niggas love rewarding the wrong shit"
In response to Reply # 78


          

illegal immigrant? Pay them top dollar

pregnant at 16? lets celebrate


****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

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Brotha Sun
Member since Dec 31st 2009
6442 posts
Sun Nov-08-15 02:13 PM

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117. "you sound so white sometimes man. "
In response to Reply # 85


          

"They used to call me Baby Luke....but now? The whole damn 2 Liiiive Crew."

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
70313 posts
Sun Nov-08-15 06:33 PM

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125. "Thx"
In response to Reply # 117


          

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

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Boogie Stimuli
Member since Sep 24th 2010
13367 posts
Sun Nov-08-15 07:26 PM

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129. "He considers that a compliment but denies the idea of "white supremacy""
In response to Reply # 117


          

lol... it's like a nigga drinking kool-aid but denying the existence of water

~
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"Until you get outta my way, I don't wanna hear what you say aye aye"

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
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134. "A compliment? Nigga, its not even worthy of a response"
In response to Reply # 129


          

Who the fuck says you sound white in 2015?

This aint HS bruh...

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

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Boogie Stimuli
Member since Sep 24th 2010
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Mon Nov-09-15 02:40 PM

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166. "You did respond tho. With a 'thx' at that."
In response to Reply # 134


          

Can't edit that now

~
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"Until you get outta my way, I don't wanna hear what you say aye aye"

  

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Boogie Stimuli
Member since Sep 24th 2010
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Sun Nov-08-15 06:29 PM

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124. "No one should be depressed and emotionally beat down while they"
In response to Reply # 85


          

carry a child.

That's what you want tho... to create (more) dysfunction out the gate.
smh.


~
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"Until you get outta my way, I don't wanna hear what you say aye aye"

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
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Sun Nov-08-15 06:37 PM

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126. "Beat down for not throwing a baby shower? Lmao"
In response to Reply # 124


          

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

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Boogie Stimuli
Member since Sep 24th 2010
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Sun Nov-08-15 07:21 PM

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128. "Why are you against throwing a baby shower in this case then?"
In response to Reply # 126
Sun Nov-08-15 07:23 PM by Boogie Stimuli

          

We've gathered from you that this pregnancy is not ok, and that this "behavior"
of getting pregnant shouldn't be "rewarded" with a baby shower.
So why are you against the shower, specifically?.. w/o "shouldn'ts" and "not ok's"

~
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"Until you get outta my way, I don't wanna hear what you say aye aye"

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
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Mon Nov-09-15 09:24 AM

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145. "because i view a shower as a celebration for being pregnant"
In response to Reply # 128


          

and my 16 year old having a baby isn't a time to party.

I would love the child, spoil the child, etc...

but there wouldn't be a celebration for my daughter at 16.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

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Trinity444
Charter member
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Sat Nov-07-15 06:13 PM

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101. "that's not my position..."
In response to Reply # 78


  

          

when I've attended teenage baby showers - I did it because they needed the support. the reason why parents are ashame is because of the stance your taking.

shit happens, lol

  

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Kwesi
Member since Jan 11th 2004
7370 posts
Sat Nov-07-15 12:29 PM

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81. "for the people who say yes, what if she was 12, or victim of rape?"
In response to Reply # 0


          

or scared out of her own mind?

  

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StephBMore
Member since Sep 11th 2014
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Sun Nov-08-15 10:41 AM

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109. "hopefully if she was 12 or a victim of rape, we would know before"
In response to Reply # 81


  

          

the first trimester and would be able to do something about the pregnancy.

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
70313 posts
Sat Nov-07-15 02:16 PM

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82. "Not throwing a baby shower has zero impact on that kids future"
In response to Reply # 0


          

Her friends can throw her a little something but nah... aint no way I'm celebrating her pregnancy with a party.

I will celebrate the birth and everything after it but nah.... no shower for a 16 year old.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

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Trinity444
Charter member
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Sat Nov-07-15 03:11 PM

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88. "Ok...so the parents pride is wounded..."
In response to Reply # 82


  

          

because that's what it's really about.

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
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Sat Nov-07-15 04:38 PM

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92. "of course the parents are hurt..."
In response to Reply # 88


          

but beyond their pride there is the fear of their 16 year old not reaching their full potential because they now have a baby.

Seems odd how people in here think having a baby at 16 isn't hard as fuck on everyone involved.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

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Trinity444
Charter member
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Sat Nov-07-15 06:07 PM

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100. "here's what showing up for me...."
In response to Reply # 92


  

          

that you believe there's should be some kind of consequence for her actions. I'm not saying it's going to be easy nevertheless, it's not a time for a parent to turn they're back either. Her fate lies in they're hands...as she's still a child.

The shower also helps out financially...

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
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Sat Nov-07-15 07:14 PM

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103. "most def there is a consequence for getting pregnant at 16"
In response to Reply # 100


          

her friends can throw her a shower but as the parent? I'm not throwing a shower for you.

I will buy diapers, babysit, help out financially but no, no parties for getting pregnant before you graduate.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

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Ted Gee Seal
Member since Apr 18th 2007
10090 posts
Sat Nov-07-15 03:52 PM

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90. "BTW like many things, a baby shower is what you make it"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

Deciding that it's somehow a celebration of the manner of conception is a choice, might like making it about ensuring the daughter knows that they have support despite their mistake could also be a choice.

In my experience if you bring the shame energy in the beginning it's likely to stick. The idea that you'll be able to turn it on and off without affecting the child is a cute theory, often said in isolation by people who don't ever have to face the situation for real and be accountable for the consequences.

Just IMO though.

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
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Sat Nov-07-15 04:45 PM

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93. "or you could actually physically and emotionally support"
In response to Reply # 90


          

your 16 year old without throwing a baby shower celebration.

maybe I'm missing something but good energy will never have the impact good parenting will have once the kid is born.





****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

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Ted Gee Seal
Member since Apr 18th 2007
10090 posts
Sat Nov-07-15 05:29 PM

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98. "RE: or you could actually physically and emotionally support"
In response to Reply # 93


  

          

>your 16 year old without throwing a baby shower celebration.

You calling it a celebration is a choice. Also please explain how a baby shower is somehow neither physical or emotional support if it's what you'd normally do for a baby.

>
>
>maybe I'm missing something but good energy will never have
>the impact good parenting will have once the kid is born.
>

You want to treat the child differently to other children based on the manner of conception. If you think they won't ever pick up on that and it won't affect them, it might be nice to roll the dice on their development an absolve yourself from your part in the consequences. I'd rather not take the chance on behalf of a blameless child.

Just IMO though.

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
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Sun Nov-08-15 08:03 AM

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106. "yeah, that doesnt make any sense bruh..."
In response to Reply # 98


          

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

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Ted Gee Seal
Member since Apr 18th 2007
10090 posts
Mon Nov-09-15 02:51 AM

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137. "You can't make sense of it, definitely "
In response to Reply # 106


  

          

Your inability to read and comprehend ha's been apparent in your responses for sure, thus your cop outs.

Maybe try reading more books.

Just IMO though.

  

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kayru99
Member since Jan 26th 2004
15846 posts
Sat Nov-07-15 05:01 PM

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94. "hell yes. New life is a blessing, lets greet it accordingly"
In response to Reply # 0


          

  

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Kira
Member since Nov 14th 2004
28357 posts
Sat Nov-07-15 05:06 PM

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95. "NO, and she's not having the child"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

Me and the "father of the child" are going to have a nice long chat and then he's getting hit with a restraining order.

  

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StephBMore
Member since Sep 11th 2014
1373 posts
Sun Nov-08-15 10:42 AM

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110. "what are you going to do if you find out she's pregnant in the 6th month..."
In response to Reply # 95


  

          

not having the child? you can't prevent that if she hides it from you.

  

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Kira
Member since Nov 14th 2004
28357 posts
Sun Nov-08-15 11:46 AM

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113. "Then she wouldn't keep the child...."
In response to Reply # 110


  

          

... I pay attention to everything so of course I see the pregnancy before the six month. Child is getting put up for adoption.

  

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daryloneal
Member since Jan 08th 2005
9267 posts
Sat Nov-07-15 05:23 PM

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97. "Sounds like embarrassment to me. If they are accepting that.."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

she's having a baby, go ahead and have the shower. Invite who you want, but if she's having it, no sense in trying to shame her now.

Psychologically, if she has another baby at some point, that baby will likely be more "appreciated" because shame won't be part of the equation. That appreciation can affect the first child's confidence. Both children in such a scenario should be brought up to feel equally welcomed.

So what I'm saying is, making a conscious decision to not have the shower initiates shame if you ask me. And that shame may seep through to how that child is brought up.

---
but have you ever checked out my website? www.dtaylorimages.com

  

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Amritsar
Member since Jan 18th 2008
30731 posts
Sat Nov-07-15 06:56 PM

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102. "this is fascinating "
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

whole post

_______________________________________________
"Mindless populism embodied by Trump and Sanders are like a malignant wart on our body politic"

  

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Anonymous
Charter member
22787 posts
Sun Nov-08-15 02:45 PM

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118. "For real"
In response to Reply # 102


  

          

It always amazing me how people have 0 idea how to step outside of their viewpoint and see all angles.

Sad really.

  

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Government Name
Member since Dec 16th 2005
23189 posts
Sun Nov-08-15 07:21 AM

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105. "sure. sh*t wont be turnt or anything, but that baby's coming either way"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

________
http://twitter.com/aehorton
http://instagram.com/aehorton

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
70313 posts
Sun Nov-08-15 08:21 AM

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107. "would love to know how many okp's had baby showers"
In response to Reply # 0


          

and the impact it had on our lives

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

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StephBMore
Member since Sep 11th 2014
1373 posts
Sun Nov-08-15 10:47 AM

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111. "it's always interesting to see what topics okps are conservative about"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

...very interesting.

if my 16 yr old became pregnant, and wanted to keep it, fine. her body and her decision. i would, however, tell her now she has to "woman up" and get her life together to give this baby a better life than she has. i wouldn't be disappointed because things happen and all i can do is try to raise my child to make the best decisions possible. sometimes ppl make the wrong decisions and that's okay but now we have to work toward making better ones so that these two children won't become statistics. and yes, she can have a baby shower if she chooses. shit that's how you get all the stuff you need for the baby. a 16 year old would be the one who needs it the most given their limited finances.

i'm not saying i'd be happy/ecstatic...i would be concerned and worried. but life throws curveballs but her life wouldn't be over.

  

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Rjcc
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112. "not sure how this is a question. and I think baby showers are stupid"
In response to Reply # 0


          

but if you're going to have them, you can't be like "but not for this one"




www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

  

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Kwesi
Member since Jan 11th 2004
7370 posts
Sun Nov-08-15 01:42 PM

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116. "the baby shower will happen. i think this is about the protest."
In response to Reply # 112


          

  

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GirlChild
Charter member
55984 posts
Mon Nov-09-15 07:38 AM

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143. "Too late for that"
In response to Reply # 116


  

          

People who are more concerned about the shame it will bring to the parents don't have their priorities straight. Being a parent is about teaching your children how to be good human being and loving them unconditionally. You don't just drop them when they do something you don't like. Fuck shame that's a life.

And for those of y'all talking about taking her or forcing her to get an abortion, y'all are some heartless mfers. Even after you have the abortion she'd still have to deal with the pain of making that decision and not to mention, what's the difference btw that "shame" and the shame conned to your child getting pregnant in the first place?

  

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GirlChild
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55984 posts
Mon Nov-09-15 10:59 AM

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155. "*connected"
In response to Reply # 143


  

          

  

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Ted Gee Seal
Member since Apr 18th 2007
10090 posts
Mon Nov-09-15 03:06 AM

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139. "Basically"
In response to Reply # 112


  

          

Just IMO though.

  

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Deacon Blues
Charter member
5013 posts
Sun Nov-08-15 11:49 AM

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114. " Nope, I'm sending her away for a year, she hath brought shame upon us"
In response to Reply # 0
Sun Nov-08-15 11:56 AM by Deacon Blues

  

          



j/k i would throw one with close family and friends

dude

  

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DVS
Member since Sep 13th 2002
19730 posts
Sun Nov-08-15 01:09 PM

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115. "aaaaaand I'm inviting her whole Junior Year HS Class"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

shorty gon' have all kinds of Matching Trainers and Iphone Accessories under the tree..

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

Waldorf and Statler Vol 4:CONAN IS OUT NOW!!!: http://waldorfandstatler.bandcamp.com

and don't forget to check "DVS 4 ALDERMAN"

http://windimoto.bandcamp.com/album/dvs-4-alderman-bandcamp-exclusive-expanded-editio

  

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kayru99
Member since Jan 26th 2004
15846 posts
Mon Nov-09-15 05:39 AM

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140. "ooooooorrrrr, you could just invite family and close friends as a show o..."
In response to Reply # 115


          

love and community, lol

either's an option

  

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DJPoke
Member since May 14th 2008
1285 posts
Sun Nov-08-15 02:47 PM

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119. "Might as well go to the strip club and give her her 1st tip"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

When she get on the pole in a couple years.


  

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atruhead
Charter member
85026 posts
Sun Nov-08-15 05:58 PM

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122. "you have to just be a troll"
In response to Reply # 119


  

          

like you're not a real DJ, not a real person who thinks these things, you cant be

  

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DJPoke
Member since May 14th 2008
1285 posts
Sun Nov-08-15 07:50 PM

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131. "I wasn't being serious. "
In response to Reply # 122
Sun Nov-08-15 07:52 PM by DJPoke

  

          

Just wanted to see which cornball would grandstand. Congrats

Edit: your '16 isn't that young anymore' comment was 10x more outlandish btw

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
70313 posts
Mon Nov-09-15 10:01 AM

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148. "LMAO.. you aint no real dj b.."
In response to Reply # 131


          

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

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DJPoke
Member since May 14th 2008
1285 posts
Mon Nov-09-15 10:16 AM

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149. "Nigga was like you ain't got no Yeezy in Serato?!"
In response to Reply # 148


  

          

Dudes a weirdo. Wonder how long he been waiting to say that to me. Shit was random as hell.

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
70313 posts
Mon Nov-09-15 10:56 AM

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153. "imma say it like a retard... 16 aint young b..."
In response to Reply # 149


          

it's almost the same age as a college freshman and we all know having a baby freshman year is easy...

dorm roommates be helping

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

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DJPoke
Member since May 14th 2008
1285 posts
Mon Nov-09-15 11:32 AM

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158. "Im sure statutory rapist and creep niggas feel the same way"
In response to Reply # 153


  

          

Yo 16 ain't even that young b. She can get her drivers license and can legally work yo.. she's basically an adult my nigga.

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
70313 posts
Mon Nov-09-15 11:54 AM

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159. "if 16 isnt young... 15 and 14 must be in play? I mean, some cultures mar..."
In response to Reply # 158


          

kids who are 13 and 12..

if she can technically have a kid then my all means she gotta be mature enough.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

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atruhead
Charter member
85026 posts
Mon Nov-09-15 04:25 PM

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170. "so you're admitting to trolling"
In response to Reply # 131


  

          

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
70313 posts
Mon Nov-09-15 04:26 PM

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171. "I think the correct term is joking..."
In response to Reply # 170


          

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

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atruhead
Charter member
85026 posts
Mon Nov-09-15 05:31 PM

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175. "count your replies in here, then get a life"
In response to Reply # 171


  

          

  

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Garhart Poppwell
Member since Nov 28th 2008
17955 posts
Sun Nov-08-15 07:34 PM

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130. "if your friends are onboard for the actual birth of the child"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

as you say, and are on the same emotional page in that regard, then the baby shower itself is a moot point. It's really easy for people outside of these situations to inject their perspective as the correct one and then use the opportunity to cast aspersion (especially in this place, where people routinely put too much thought into the dumbest shit imaginable and not enough into things that really matter) but honestly there is no direct correlation between not having a baby shower and not supporting your loved one in what's about to happen. This is binary logic at its finest. The child and the future parent don't necessarily have to do without or be abandoned just because a party wasn't thrown. If a parent didn't want this for their child then they have a right to feel let down by the event itself, there's nothing wrong with that. If I had a child and this happened, I'm sure I probably wouldn't exactly be elated by it. But I'd like to think it wouldn't stop me from keeping my responsibility to my family.

__________________________________________
CHOP-THESE-BITCHES!!!!
------------------------------------
Garhart Ivanhoe Poppwell
Un-OK'd moderator for The Lesson and Make The Music (yes, I do's work up in here, and in your asscrease if you run foul of this

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
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Mon Nov-09-15 09:26 AM

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146. "^^^^^"
In response to Reply # 130


          

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

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GirlChild
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Mon Nov-09-15 12:05 AM

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135. "Yes I would"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

Right now everyone is judging that girl rather than providing some much needed support. The deed is done there's no reason to punish her. While the timing might be bad, celebrate a new life. By shaming the mother you only hurt the child.

  

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Jon
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Mon Nov-09-15 06:02 AM

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141. "Absolutely"
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MiracleRic
Member since Oct 21st 2002
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Mon Nov-09-15 08:33 AM

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144. "not a big deal either way"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

shame clearly didn't have a significant impact before the pregnancy...why would it be so devastating bc of a lack of a shower?

if i'm not concerned about finances...i probably wouldn't have the shower...if i think she's going to need all the help she can get...i probably would

i have no problem with shame...sometimes it's effective, sometimes it's not...people handle it differently

Let me sport my Air Hyperbole 2010s in peace. (c) ansomble

Building repetoires (c) spm since 1983

  

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hardware
Member since May 22nd 2007
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Mon Nov-09-15 10:29 AM

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150. "i feel like once you got over the initial shock"
In response to Reply # 0


          

figured out where the father and his family were at
and looked into the situation healthwise

you'd just carry on as if you were having any grandbaby. i mean holding it over the girl's head isn't gonna make the baby go away or stop it from happening again.

  

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select_from_where
Member since Jan 03rd 2011
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Mon Nov-09-15 10:34 AM

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151. "What is it to the 16 year old tho? Just another party right?"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

Its just another party,

Further what kind of message does that send to the other children attending this "party"

YOUR INVITED!!

My kid mad poor choices, please come celebrate and be inspired to do the same?

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
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Mon Nov-09-15 10:52 AM

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152. "http://xonecole.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/Oprah-You-Get-a-Car-Gif.g..."
In response to Reply # 151


          

http://xonecole.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/Oprah-You-Get-a-Car-Gif.gif

AND YOU GET A BABY SHOWER
AND YOU GET A BABY SHOWER

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

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MiracleRic
Member since Oct 21st 2002
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Mon Nov-09-15 11:02 AM

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156. "yea, not sure why this doesn't get considered"
In response to Reply # 151


  

          

Let me sport my Air Hyperbole 2010s in peace. (c) ansomble

Building repetoires (c) spm since 1983

  

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SoWhat
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Mon Nov-09-15 12:21 PM

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161. "b/c it's ridiculous."
In response to Reply # 156


  

          

fuck you.

  

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MiracleRic
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Mon Nov-09-15 12:45 PM

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163. "so are you but we still discussing it"
In response to Reply # 161


  

          

Let me sport my Air Hyperbole 2010s in peace. (c) ansomble

Building repetoires (c) spm since 1983

  

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SoWhat
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Mon Nov-09-15 12:51 PM

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164. "i'm rubber you're glue"
In response to Reply # 163


  

          

and yes the notion that having a party for the girl will en

not even worth finishing the thought. lol

fuck you.

  

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Ted Gee Seal
Member since Apr 18th 2007
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Mon Nov-09-15 01:33 PM

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165. "I don't see how it has to be framed as a party"
In response to Reply # 164


  

          

It's a BABY shower. It's not a conception out of wedlock party.

I don't see why parents can't show some guidance (novel idea for a parent I know). Every shower I've been to I've treated as an opportunity to show support to the parent(s) to be and offer a token gift for the baby because I know how expensive parenting will be and most parents need all the help they can get.

Seems some people in here want to withhold emotional and practical support and guidance because they can't get over the semantics of celebration vs support or because they've decided that young friends of the child can't be excluded and because they're not the parents can't turn the occasion into a teachable moment.

Better to send the unambiguous message that the grandchild is a shame to the mother and everyone else, because there's no way an impressionable young person could take that the wrong way and the baby end up suffering consequences because of it.

Just IMO though.

  

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SoWhat
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Mon Nov-09-15 02:43 PM

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167. "agreed."
In response to Reply # 165


  

          

fuck you.

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
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Mon Nov-09-15 04:30 PM

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172. "I think most want to withhold the baby shower and not "
In response to Reply # 165


          

the emotional support and guidance...

*ducks from insults*

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

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Ted Gee Seal
Member since Apr 18th 2007
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Mon Nov-09-15 05:20 PM

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174. "I've made clear the opportunity for support and guidance presented by th..."
In response to Reply # 172


  

          

>the emotional support and guidance...


But you and others are intent on withholding that support and guidance. Like I said, start as you mean to carry on.

Could send a big message that the baby, since it's a baby shower, is the priority, one that you and other family members take seriously and that she should. Plus get some gear for the baby.

But no. Send the message that support for a new birth changes due to the manner of conception. There's no way that could be misinterpreted by a teen mother.

Just IMO though.

  

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Buddy_Gilapagos
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Mon Nov-09-15 10:56 AM

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154. "What happened to that other post?"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

Movies I need y'all bastids to see so we can discuss:

Five Star - https://goo.gl/jBHbVv
Appropriate Behavior - http://goo.gl/isCzTM
Ma

  

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MiracleRic
Member since Oct 21st 2002
45200 posts
Mon Nov-09-15 11:05 AM

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157. "spin-off"
In response to Reply # 154


  

          

we know those get offed at mod discretion

Let me sport my Air Hyperbole 2010s in peace. (c) ansomble

Building repetoires (c) spm since 1983

  

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Case_One
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Mon Nov-09-15 12:01 PM

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160. "No. I'm not celebrating that matter. "
In response to Reply # 0


          

If people want to get gifts that's cool, but there will be no party.
.
.
.

  

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