My boys daughter is pregnant wit her first child. The smoke has now cleared & he & his wife are geeked to be having a new bundle of joy.

However, she doesn't think it's appropriate to have a shower cuz of her age & according to her, bein 16 and pregnant isn't anything to celebrate. She recommended having a small dinner wit the family and everyone brings pampers, bottles, etc. My boy on the other hand wants to go all out to recognize the birth of his first grand.

I can see where they're both coming from but it is what it is *shrug*

Poll result (38 votes) Yes (18 votes) Vote No (20 votes) Vote

I'm joking. But I mean, I get it, but.....get them mafuckin gifts tho!

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**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

Movies I need y'all bastids to see so we can discuss:

Five Star - https://goo.gl/jBHbVv
Appropriate Behavior - http://goo.gl/isCzTM
Ma

Get the gifts/resources but her irresponsibility wouldn't garner a party in my book

prototype

stand ur ground, believe in urself,
believe in love, prepare urself for love, remove the negativity from ur life, and accept the love u kno u deserve

1) We got grown men and women out here "irresponsibly" having children too
2) Since she's only 16, are we blaming her *completely* or are the parents' level
of responsibility in this being called in into question as well?

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Days like this I miss Sha Mecca

1) We got grown men and women out here "irresponsibly" having children too
2) Since she's only 16, are we blaming her *completely* or are the parents' level
of responsibility in this being called in into question as well?

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Days like this I miss Sha Mecca

>1) We got grown men and women out here "irresponsibly" having
>children too

and??? doesn't make a 16 year old having one any better


>2) Since she's only 16, are we blaming her *completely* or are
>the parents' level
>of responsibility in this being called in into question as
>well?
>

this is one of the reasons most parents aren't throwing baby showers bruh...

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

>>1) We got grown men and women out here "irresponsibly"
>having
>>children too
>
>and??? doesn't make a 16 year old having one any better


Nah, it's makes it equal, so what's the problem/difference?


>>2) Since she's only 16, are we blaming her *completely* or
>are
>>the parents' level
>>of responsibility in this being called in into question as
>>well?
>>
>
>this is one of the reasons most parents aren't throwing baby
>showers bruh...


So the child is being punished because of the parents' irresponsibility?
Can you explain?

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Days like this I miss Sha Mecca

ACTUALLY.... shower's usually include friends. may be a little irresponsible to invite a bunch of high schoolers or her peers age 13-17 to a baby shower. a family, close friends thing would probably be more appropriate.

exactly.

I'm for truth no matter who tells it. I'm for justice no matter who it's for or against. - el Hajj Malik el Shabazz

and creating an environment where the baby is welcomed. I believe that babies can pick up on feelings of being unwanted even before they get here.

The girl is going to have a hard enough time. A baby shower is for the baby.

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

Movies I need y'all bastids to see so we can discuss:

Five Star - https://goo.gl/jBHbVv
Appropriate Behavior - http://goo.gl/isCzTM
Ma

and bringing the baby into a community, which is what the shower is for. Again, nothing should be done to make the baby feel unwanted or unwelcomed before the baby even gets here.

Kinetic energy yahmean, the lack of outside love will make the womb constrict.

But seriously speaking, I can't get past the baby at 16 part. I guess there's no lesson to be taught once the decision is made to have the baby. May as well have the shower.

She's already pregnant, so if you're gonna be disappointed, be disappointed in your job as a parent and keep it moving.

Because I would personally take her to the doctor to get her birth control shots.

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

Movies I need y'all bastids to see so we can discuss:

Five Star - https://goo.gl/jBHbVv
Appropriate Behavior - http://goo.gl/isCzTM
Ma

?

aside from the usual side effects (bone loss, brain, shrinkage, irritability) you can get blood clots and die. most can't tolerate the side effects.

sFor example, a two-year study of over 5,000 women receiving Depo injections at Planned Parenthood of the Rocky Mountains reported: “Of the 5,178 women who received an initial injection, only 57% returned for a second administration; . . . . The overall one-year continuation rate was 23%. The main reason women gave for not returning for subsequent injections was “difficulty tolerating side effects.”

Read more at: http://www.nationalreview.com/critical-condition/282126/depo-provera-what-nyt-did-not-see-fit-print-susan-e-wills

Women who use Depo-Provera Contraceptive Injection may lose significant bone mineral density. Bone loss is greater with increasing duration of use and may not be completely reversible. … Depo-Provera Contraceptive Injection should not be used as a long-term birth control method (i.e., longer than 2 years).

Read more at: http://www.nationalreview.com/critical-condition/282126/depo-provera-what-nyt-did-not-see-fit-print-susan-e-wills

Serious thrombotic events (blood clots), which can lead to cardiac arrest and stroke. Here’s a helpful tip for doctors: “Do not readminister Depo-Provera CI pending examination if there is a sudden partial or complete loss of vision.” Breast cancer: Hormone sensitive breast cancers (which often strike younger women) occur twice as often in women under 35 who have used Depo in the previous four years. After discontinuation, the additional risk diminishes over time. Ectopic pregnancy: Women who become pregnant while using Depo have an increased risk of a potentially life-threatening ectopic pregnancy. Depression, irritability, and mood swings are frequent complaints of women discussing their reactions to Depo online, but the drug label does not provide statistics on frequency in actual use (post-trials) other than noting these may occur.

Read more at: http://www.nationalreview.com/critical-condition/282126/depo-provera-what-nyt-did-not-see-fit-print-susan-e-wills
About 130 deaths have been linked to the patch, and over 2,400 women have claimed that the patch caused them to have blood clots that resulted in heart attack, stroke or pulmonary embolism. The doubled risk of these events has resulted in settlements totaling over $68 million. NuvaRing has caused only 40 known deaths so far (per the FDA database), but the manufacturer is facing 730 lawsuits for blood clot-related injuries and deaths.

Read more at: http://www.nationalreview.com/critical-condition/282126/depo-provera-what-nyt-did-not-see-fit-print-susan-e-wills

you're baiscally pregnant, at least hormonally, the whole time you're on the birth control pill.

it's not something you would want to force on someone.

or very subjective reading of studies, at that

depo is one of the safest birth control options
its a shame its not promoted for younger women

actually, i think they should be promoting the longer-acting birth control options- teens should really consider the IUCD or the hormonal implants

.
http://perspectivesudans.blogspot.com/
i myself would never want to be god,or even like god.Because god got all these human beings on this planet and i most certainly would not want to be responsible for them, or even have the disgrace that i made them.

Like very bad side effects. Same thing with that ring. I prefer encouraging the pill and condoms.

this doesnt really leave us anywhere

a minority of persons do have side effects - its a very small minority
majority of women on the pill, the iucd, the rods, etc
experience very minor side effects which go away after sometime
its why its really important that women are informed about what to expect

they also get the benefit of regulating their periods, reducing menstrual cramps, it clears up achne, reduces risk of getting certain cancers, prevents pregnancy etc etc.

.
http://perspectivesudans.blogspot.com/
i myself would never want to be god,or even like god.Because god got all these human beings on this planet and i most certainly would not want to be responsible for them, or even have the disgrace that i made them.

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

Movies I need y'all bastids to see so we can discuss:

Five Star - https://goo.gl/jBHbVv
Appropriate Behavior - http://goo.gl/isCzTM
Ma

hormonal birth control has A LOT of side effects. the thought of a woman taking them from 16 on does not seem very smart imo. plus the hormonal changes that occur with BC in addition to the standard hormonal changes that occur during a menstrual cycle...i can see that being a bit much for a teenager.

the shot is very risky. the pill is cool, but how many teenage girls are responsible enough to take them every single day at the same time??

i dont think theres a life hack for this.

Or that we have safer methods, but some risks are riskier than others.

i do think theres a lot of ground to cover with bc.

eventually we'll get to the point where females will extract all their eggs as children and sterilize themselves, then go to their egg harvesting center when they want to procreate and do the test tube thing...maybe not 15 yrs off, but perhaps 50 yrs off.

it's not the norm for kids whose parents aren't super christian abstinence only anti birth control anti condom types (think the palins) to have kids get pregnant unless they're lower class. i would think you'd want kids to use condoms anyway to protect against stds.

hormonal birth control has mainly minor side-effects
which go away after a few months of consistent use
in fact, even the longer acting hormones - very few women experience adverse side effects
for the majority of women- side effects are mild and transitory

long-term contraceptives is exactly what is appropriate for a young 16 year old
who is trying to delay pregnancy for at least 7 years
many of the concerns for IUCDs and the rods have been dispelled over the years as simply that
in fact for majority of non-US (and sensible) countries
LARC are the preferred method offered to teenagers
it really is way past time the U.S begun offering informed choices of contraceptive options for women and girls

here's the people i trust when it comes to RH issues: https://www.guttmacher.org/pubs/gpr/16/4/gpr160413.html

.
http://perspectivesudans.blogspot.com/
i myself would never want to be god,or even like god.Because god got all these human beings on this planet and i most certainly would not want to be responsible for them, or even have the disgrace that i made them.

btw...you probably can't force your 16 year old daughter to have a b/c shot. or, no doctor is going to give her that shot at your order against her will. i don't think.

fuck you.

Or slip some in her heroin.

fuck you.

into het food in the morning

It's not ideal. I'd be pissed, worried, scared for her, frustrated, and above all else, understanding because she would most likely feel a similar combination of anger, worry, frustration, fear, and even failure and no amount of cold shoulders, wagging fingers, and chastisement will do an ounce of good.

Not allowing a baby shower only reinforces that she's "bad" and a disappointment.

I call bullshit on the notion of it being "inappropriate" and "nothing to celebrate". That's just pearl clutching nonsense.

If my daughter gets pregnant at 16, my complete and unyielding support and understanding will be needed in droves. Conversely, scolding and passive aggressive moralizing won't do a damn bit of good.

-Sig-

“Why didn’t you do this in your own god damn country?"

-All Stah's view on undocumented immigrants wanting to be treated like human beings.

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

Movies I need y'all bastids to see so we can discuss:

Five Star - https://goo.gl/jBHbVv
Appropriate Behavior - http://goo.gl/isCzTM
Ma

a disappointment.

At least I think that's part of the distinction CT is making.

i still blame hip-hop.

fuck you.

I'll deal with that. There's no point in making sure she knows good and well how disappointed I am.

I think this situation is a simple matter of looking at the greater good for your child.

If you throw a baby shower for your pregnant 16 year but fail to address the severity of this situation, that's no good for anyone. To me you still need to address the situation in a way that emphasizes that life will be different, priorities will change, and she now has to make decisions based on what's ultimately best for her child. Those are the points that need to be driven home in no uncertain terms, not reinforcing what a naughty disappointment she was in route to getting pregnant.

-Sig-

“Why didn’t you do this in your own god damn country?"

-All Stah's view on undocumented immigrants wanting to be treated like human beings.

I'm saying there's no sensing in hammering that disappointment home.

You can't put that genie back in the bottle.
Stop for a second and think.

You don't think she'd already feel a profound sense of failure and disappointment? Unless she's a spoiled, self centered, disrespectful problem child, she'll probably feel an awful lot of things and disappointing her loving parents is probably a huge weight on her shoulders as it is.

What good will come from hammering that home further?

Don't get me wrong, there are discussions to be had in this situation, but no baby shower is harsh. You could argue that a shower would essentially be a celebration of poor decisions but I disagree completely.

You discipline and chastise your kid when you catch them in the act of getting pregnant. If she winds up getting pregnant though? That's a whole new ballgame. Now she has to learn to be an adult. Now her life choices are altered in major ways. Now her priorities need to change dramatically. Frankly, that's punishment enough and my disappointment can kick rocks and cry rivers because MY priority at that point shifts toward helping her manage a life-altering change.

Any whip cracking and discipline that mattered needed to be done prior to this happening and there's no need to take an extra pound of flesh for a very human mistake.

-Sig-

“Why didn’t you do this in your own god damn country?"

-All Stah's view on undocumented immigrants wanting to be treated like human beings.

fuck you.

baby showers. Also alot of all that is moot to me because I'd be about that clinic (if I had my say).




>I'm saying there's no sensing in hammering that
>disappointment home.
>
>You can't put that genie back in the bottle.
>Stop for a second and think.
>
>You don't think she'd already feel a profound sense of failure
>and disappointment? Unless she's a spoiled, self centered,
>disrespectful problem child, she'll probably feel an awful lot
>of things and disappointing her loving parents is probably a
>huge weight on her shoulders as it is.
>
>What good will come from hammering that home further?
>
>Don't get me wrong, there are discussions to be had in this
>situation, but no baby shower is harsh. You could argue that a
>shower would essentially be a celebration of poor decisions
>but I disagree completely.
>
>You discipline and chastise your kid when you catch them in
>the act of getting pregnant. If she winds up getting pregnant
>though? That's a whole new ballgame. Now she has to learn to
>be an adult. Now her life choices are altered in major ways.
>Now her priorities need to change dramatically. Frankly,
>that's punishment enough and my disappointment can kick rocks
>and cry rivers because MY priority at that point shifts toward
>helping her manage a life-altering change.
>
>Any whip cracking and discipline that mattered needed to be
>done prior to this happening and there's no need to take an
>extra pound of flesh for a very human mistake.
>
>


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

Movies I need y'all bastids to see so we can discuss:

Five Star - https://goo.gl/jBHbVv
Appropriate Behavior - http://goo.gl/isCzTM
Ma

you can't force her to have one.

she's gonna have the baby.

are you going to help w/the shower or nah?

fuck you.

shower for the family, but not a huge to do with friends and everyone.

They wouldn't want my help. I'd be that old drunk dude the other dude described.


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

Movies I need y'all bastids to see so we can discuss:

Five Star - https://goo.gl/jBHbVv
Appropriate Behavior - http://goo.gl/isCzTM
Ma

'participate'

or be the grumpy angry black man walkin around drunk out my mind wonderin who all these lil goofy teenagers are and mean mugging the father the entire time lookin and dressed exactly like this

http://ct.fra.bz/il/fz/se/i49/5/5/20/f_0ce45d3ab3.jpg




but I don't have a daughter... thank u lawd

=======================================
Coolin...

have the damn party. I damn sure wouldn't let her 16 yr old friends plan it. I think they should limit it to family--his and hers--that's it.

"Holier than thou never sits well with me."(c)janey

"OKP spends way too much time looking for ways to be offended." ~legsdiamond


http://twitter.com/jeleighbean

fuck you.

Throw the shower. Shit happens. Make Lemonade.

D

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

Waldorf and Statler Vol 4:CONAN IS OUT NOW!!!: http://waldorfandstatler.bandcamp.com

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they will have NOTHING to do w/their pregnant teen daughter's baby, that baby has ended up thoroughly spoiled by that grandparent. spoiled absolutely rotten. to the point where the grandparent ended up basically raising the grandchild they said they'd have nothing to do with.

one of my aunties drove herself into bankruptcy spoiling the granddaughter she wanted 'nothing to do with'. LOL

i see y'all in here.

fuck you.

...as saying we are going to have nothing to do with the baby.



**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

Movies I need y'all bastids to see so we can discuss:

Five Star - https://goo.gl/jBHbVv
Appropriate Behavior - http://goo.gl/isCzTM
Ma

but this discussion reminded me of those incidents.

fuck you.

of course i'll probably end up financing most of it but that's the extent of my involvement. my money will be there but i won't

older cuz in a teenage mind everything is, "meh".

Iont know, bruh.

that 16 year old mother's whole style has to change if she's gonna be a good parent


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I'm tryna be better off, not better than...

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TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

At least thats how i would i feel inside but yeah ionno about a BIG baby shower maybe something small tho




____

TWITTER : Heinz21st

IG : H_N_Z

At least thats how i would i feel inside but yeah ionno about a BIG baby shower maybe something small tho




____

TWITTER : Heinz21st

IG : H_N_Z

That's dumb as hell to not throw one because of her age... if her mom had such a problem with her having the kid why didn't they force her to have an abortion?... What kinda lesson is that going to teach their daughter? Next time don't get pregnant at 16??? LMAO... Oh they want to shame her right before she has the child so she can suffer from postpartum depression after the baby is born... Pretty smart friends you have.

I'm for truth no matter who tells it. I'm for justice no matter who it's for or against. - el Hajj Malik el Shabazz

but if we're at the point of discussing showers, we're past any alternatives to not having a baby.

we'd deal and move forward. can't be disappointed forever.

Y'all buy those labels, I was born supreme

I am not celebrating your mistake. Yes a child is a wonderful thing but at 16 it is a fucking mistake. But I would still help them out with things that they might need. Stroller, bottles, carseat, etc. I would let family know if they want to they can also help out. But we are not throwing you a party so you can celebrate.

November 8th, 2005 The greatest night in the history of GD!

But isn't that what a baby shower is to invite family and friends in support of this new life? I'm sure the girl didn't get pregnant to have a party... Who does that?... most likely not having the shower for this reason may spark resentment in the 16yr old towards her parents .. Cause if they're making a big deal out of a baby shower I'm sure they trip about all kinds of stupid shit wit her... If ur that disappointed with your child why are you letting her have the baby? Makes no sense

I'm for truth no matter who tells it. I'm for justice no matter who it's for or against. - el Hajj Malik el Shabazz

you can definitely wind up a productive adult if you had a kid at 16 too

a family's job is to love unconditionally without judgement, I think they're most worried about what other people will think

pregnancy isnt the end of the world, just a new responsibility for everyone involved

its really comes down to how involved the parents.

Teen pregnancy is at all-time lows. Getting pregnant at 16 is a BIGGER deal now.

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TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

sixteen isnt super young to be a mom in 2015

it's never been the norm as long as I've been alive, but it's not the end of the world either. 11th graders are fucking without much more concept of responsibility than a college freshman

not sure why you had to use that regard statement tho...

for someone who doesn't judge you sure are quick to pop off when challenged.

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TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

so I typed it again like he was mentally challenged

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and everything that come with it.

<--- Big Baller World Order

There's going to be plenty of times for reality checks. You don't have to suck the joy out of every part of the process, though.

You want her to be a happy and engaged mom, you gotta get her excited about being a mom, and all the hard work it entails. Keep it positive, but keep it real. You can't do that by finding petty ways to shit on her and express your disappointment. However, if she wants a party like she seen on MTV's Sweet 16, feel free to ruin her illusions and fantasies about shit like that.

I've got a 14 y.o. daughter so this whole idea is giving me a brain bubble.

In a generation of swine, the one-eyed pig is king.
-Hunter S. Thompson