My boys daughter is pregnant wit her first child. The smoke has now cleared & he & his wife are geeked to be having a new bundle of joy.

However, she doesn't think it's appropriate to have a shower cuz of her age & according to her, bein 16 and pregnant isn't anything to celebrate. She recommended having a small dinner wit the family and everyone brings pampers, bottles, etc. My boy on the other hand wants to go all out to recognize the birth of his first grand.

I can see where they're both coming from but it is what it is *shrug*

Poll question: Would you throw your 16 yr old pregnant daughter a baby shower?

Poll result (38 votes) Yes (18 votes) Vote No (20 votes) Vote

I'm joking. But I mean, I get it, but.....get them mafuckin gifts tho!

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

Movies I need y'all bastids to see so we can discuss:

Five Star - https://goo.gl/jBHbVv
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Ma

Get the gifts/resources but her irresponsibility wouldn't garner a party in my book

1) We got grown men and women out here "irresponsibly" having children too
2) Since she's only 16, are we blaming her *completely* or are the parents' level
of responsibility in this being called in into question as well?

1) We got grown men and women out here "irresponsibly" having children too
2) Since she's only 16, are we blaming her *completely* or are the parents' level
of responsibility in this being called in into question as well?

>1) We got grown men and women out here "irresponsibly" having
>children too

and??? doesn't make a 16 year old having one any better


>2) Since she's only 16, are we blaming her *completely* or are
>the parents' level
>of responsibility in this being called in into question as
>well?
>

this is one of the reasons most parents aren't throwing baby showers bruh...

>>1) We got grown men and women out here "irresponsibly"
>having
>>children too
>
>and??? doesn't make a 16 year old having one any better


Nah, it's makes it equal, so what's the problem/difference?


>>2) Since she's only 16, are we blaming her *completely* or
>are
>>the parents' level
>>of responsibility in this being called in into question as
>>well?
>>
>
>this is one of the reasons most parents aren't throwing baby
>showers bruh...


So the child is being punished because of the parents' irresponsibility?
Can you explain?

ACTUALLY.... shower's usually include friends. may be a little irresponsible to invite a bunch of high schoolers or her peers age 13-17 to a baby shower. a family, close friends thing would probably be more appropriate.

exactly.

and creating an environment where the baby is welcomed. I believe that babies can pick up on feelings of being unwanted even before they get here.

The girl is going to have a hard enough time. A baby shower is for the baby.

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

Movies I need y'all bastids to see so we can discuss:

Five Star - https://goo.gl/jBHbVv
Appropriate Behavior - http://goo.gl/isCzTM
Ma

and bringing the baby into a community, which is what the shower is for. Again, nothing should be done to make the baby feel unwanted or unwelcomed before the baby even gets here.

Kinetic energy yahmean, the lack of outside love will make the womb constrict.

But seriously speaking, I can't get past the baby at 16 part. I guess there's no lesson to be taught once the decision is made to have the baby. May as well have the shower.

She's already pregnant, so if you're gonna be disappointed, be disappointed in your job as a parent and keep it moving.

Because I would personally take her to the doctor to get her birth control shots.

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

Movies I need y'all bastids to see so we can discuss:

Five Star - https://goo.gl/jBHbVv
Appropriate Behavior - http://goo.gl/isCzTM
Ma

?

aside from the usual side effects (bone loss, brain, shrinkage, irritability) you can get blood clots and die. most can't tolerate the side effects.

sFor example, a two-year study of over 5,000 women receiving Depo injections at Planned Parenthood of the Rocky Mountains reported: “Of the 5,178 women who received an initial injection, only 57% returned for a second administration; . . . . The overall one-year continuation rate was 23%. The main reason women gave for not returning for subsequent injections was “difficulty tolerating side effects.”

Read more at: http://www.nationalreview.com/critical-condition/282126/depo-provera-what-nyt-did-not-see-fit-print-susan-e-wills

Women who use Depo-Provera Contraceptive Injection may lose significant bone mineral density. Bone loss is greater with increasing duration of use and may not be completely reversible. … Depo-Provera Contraceptive Injection should not be used as a long-term birth control method (i.e., longer than 2 years).

Read more at: http://www.nationalreview.com/critical-condition/282126/depo-provera-what-nyt-did-not-see-fit-print-susan-e-wills

Serious thrombotic events (blood clots), which can lead to cardiac arrest and stroke. Here’s a helpful tip for doctors: “Do not readminister Depo-Provera CI pending examination if there is a sudden partial or complete loss of vision.” Breast cancer: Hormone sensitive breast cancers (which often strike younger women) occur twice as often in women under 35 who have used Depo in the previous four years. After discontinuation, the additional risk diminishes over time. Ectopic pregnancy: Women who become pregnant while using Depo have an increased risk of a potentially life-threatening ectopic pregnancy. Depression, irritability, and mood swings are frequent complaints of women discussing their reactions to Depo online, but the drug label does not provide statistics on frequency in actual use (post-trials) other than noting these may occur.

Read more at: http://www.nationalreview.com/critical-condition/282126/depo-provera-what-nyt-did-not-see-fit-print-susan-e-wills
About 130 deaths have been linked to the patch, and over 2,400 women have claimed that the patch caused them to have blood clots that resulted in heart attack, stroke or pulmonary embolism. The doubled risk of these events has resulted in settlements totaling over $68 million. NuvaRing has caused only 40 known deaths so far (per the FDA database), but the manufacturer is facing 730 lawsuits for blood clot-related injuries and deaths.

Read more at: http://www.nationalreview.com/critical-condition/282126/depo-provera-what-nyt-did-not-see-fit-print-susan-e-wills

you're baiscally pregnant, at least hormonally, the whole time you're on the birth control pill.

it's not something you would want to force on someone.

or very subjective reading of studies, at that

depo is one of the safest birth control options
its a shame its not promoted for younger women

actually, i think they should be promoting the longer-acting birth control options- teens should really consider the IUCD or the hormonal implants

Like very bad side effects. Same thing with that ring. I prefer encouraging the pill and condoms.

this doesnt really leave us anywhere

a minority of persons do have side effects - its a very small minority
majority of women on the pill, the iucd, the rods, etc
experience very minor side effects which go away after sometime
its why its really important that women are informed about what to expect

they also get the benefit of regulating their periods, reducing menstrual cramps, it clears up achne, reduces risk of getting certain cancers, prevents pregnancy etc etc.

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

Movies I need y'all bastids to see so we can discuss:

Five Star - https://goo.gl/jBHbVv
Appropriate Behavior - http://goo.gl/isCzTM
Ma

hormonal birth control has A LOT of side effects. the thought of a woman taking them from 16 on does not seem very smart imo. plus the hormonal changes that occur with BC in addition to the standard hormonal changes that occur during a menstrual cycle...i can see that being a bit much for a teenager.

the shot is very risky. the pill is cool, but how many teenage girls are responsible enough to take them every single day at the same time??

i dont think theres a life hack for this.

Or that we have safer methods, but some risks are riskier than others.

i do think theres a lot of ground to cover with bc.

eventually we'll get to the point where females will extract all their eggs as children and sterilize themselves, then go to their egg harvesting center when they want to procreate and do the test tube thing...maybe not 15 yrs off, but perhaps 50 yrs off.

it's not the norm for kids whose parents aren't super christian abstinence only anti birth control anti condom types (think the palins) to have kids get pregnant unless they're lower class. i would think you'd want kids to use condoms anyway to protect against stds.

hormonal birth control has mainly minor side-effects
which go away after a few months of consistent use
in fact, even the longer acting hormones - very few women experience adverse side effects
for the majority of women- side effects are mild and transitory

long-term contraceptives is exactly what is appropriate for a young 16 year old
who is trying to delay pregnancy for at least 7 years
many of the concerns for IUCDs and the rods have been dispelled over the years as simply that
in fact for majority of non-US (and sensible) countries
LARC are the preferred method offered to teenagers
it really is way past time the U.S begun offering informed choices of contraceptive options for women and girls

here's the people i trust when it comes to RH issues: https://www.guttmacher.org/pubs/gpr/16/4/gpr160413.html

btw...you probably can't force your 16 year old daughter to have a b/c shot. or, no doctor is going to give her that shot at your order against her will. i don't think.

Or slip some in her heroin.

into het food in the morning

It's not ideal. I'd be pissed, worried, scared for her, frustrated, and above all else, understanding because she would most likely feel a similar combination of anger, worry, frustration, fear, and even failure and no amount of cold shoulders, wagging fingers, and chastisement will do an ounce of good.

Not allowing a baby shower only reinforces that she's "bad" and a disappointment.

I call bullshit on the notion of it being "inappropriate" and "nothing to celebrate". That's just pearl clutching nonsense.

If my daughter gets pregnant at 16, my complete and unyielding support and understanding will be needed in droves. Conversely, scolding and passive aggressive moralizing won't do a damn bit of good.

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

Movies I need y'all bastids to see so we can discuss:

Five Star - https://goo.gl/jBHbVv
Appropriate Behavior - http://goo.gl/isCzTM
Ma

a disappointment.

At least I think that's part of the distinction CT is making.

I'll deal with that. There's no point in making sure she knows good and well how disappointed I am.

I think this situation is a simple matter of looking at the greater good for your child.

If you throw a baby shower for your pregnant 16 year but fail to address the severity of this situation, that's no good for anyone. To me you still need to address the situation in a way that emphasizes that life will be different, priorities will change, and she now has to make decisions based on what's ultimately best for her child. Those are the points that need to be driven home in no uncertain terms, not reinforcing what a naughty disappointment she was in route to getting pregnant.

I'm saying there's no sensing in hammering that disappointment home.

You can't put that genie back in the bottle.
Stop for a second and think.

You don't think she'd already feel a profound sense of failure and disappointment? Unless she's a spoiled, self centered, disrespectful problem child, she'll probably feel an awful lot of things and disappointing her loving parents is probably a huge weight on her shoulders as it is.

What good will come from hammering that home further?

Don't get me wrong, there are discussions to be had in this situation, but no baby shower is harsh. You could argue that a shower would essentially be a celebration of poor decisions but I disagree completely.

You discipline and chastise your kid when you catch them in the act of getting pregnant. If she winds up getting pregnant though? That's a whole new ballgame. Now she has to learn to be an adult. Now her life choices are altered in major ways. Now her priorities need to change dramatically. Frankly, that's punishment enough and my disappointment can kick rocks and cry rivers because MY priority at that point shifts toward helping her manage a life-altering change.

Any whip cracking and discipline that mattered needed to be done prior to this happening and there's no need to take an extra pound of flesh for a very human mistake.

baby showers. Also alot of all that is moot to me because I'd be about that clinic (if I had my say).




>I'm saying there's no sensing in hammering that
>disappointment home.
>
>You can't put that genie back in the bottle.
>Stop for a second and think.
>
>You don't think she'd already feel a profound sense of failure
>and disappointment? Unless she's a spoiled, self centered,
>disrespectful problem child, she'll probably feel an awful lot
>of things and disappointing her loving parents is probably a
>huge weight on her shoulders as it is.
>
>What good will come from hammering that home further?
>
>Don't get me wrong, there are discussions to be had in this
>situation, but no baby shower is harsh. You could argue that a
>shower would essentially be a celebration of poor decisions
>but I disagree completely.
>
>You discipline and chastise your kid when you catch them in
>the act of getting pregnant. If she winds up getting pregnant
>though? That's a whole new ballgame. Now she has to learn to
>be an adult. Now her life choices are altered in major ways.
>Now her priorities need to change dramatically. Frankly,
>that's punishment enough and my disappointment can kick rocks
>and cry rivers because MY priority at that point shifts toward
>helping her manage a life-altering change.
>
>Any whip cracking and discipline that mattered needed to be
>done prior to this happening and there's no need to take an
>extra pound of flesh for a very human mistake.
>
>


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

Movies I need y'all bastids to see so we can discuss:

Five Star - https://goo.gl/jBHbVv
Appropriate Behavior - http://goo.gl/isCzTM
Ma

you can't force her to have one.

she's gonna have the baby.

are you going to help w/the shower or nah?

shower for the family, but not a huge to do with friends and everyone.

They wouldn't want my help. I'd be that old drunk dude the other dude described.


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

Movies I need y'all bastids to see so we can discuss:

Five Star - https://goo.gl/jBHbVv
Appropriate Behavior - http://goo.gl/isCzTM
Ma

'participate'

or be the grumpy angry black man walkin around drunk out my mind wonderin who all these lil goofy teenagers are and mean mugging the father the entire time lookin and dressed exactly like this

http://ct.fra.bz/il/fz/se/i49/5/5/20/f_0ce45d3ab3.jpg




but I don't have a daughter... thank u lawd

have the damn party. I damn sure wouldn't let her 16 yr old friends plan it. I think they should limit it to family--his and hers--that's it.

Throw the shower. Shit happens. Make Lemonade.

D

they will have NOTHING to do w/their pregnant teen daughter's baby, that baby has ended up thoroughly spoiled by that grandparent. spoiled absolutely rotten. to the point where the grandparent ended up basically raising the grandchild they said they'd have nothing to do with.

one of my aunties drove herself into bankruptcy spoiling the granddaughter she wanted 'nothing to do with'. LOL

i see y'all in here.

...as saying we are going to have nothing to do with the baby.



**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

Movies I need y'all bastids to see so we can discuss:

Five Star - https://goo.gl/jBHbVv
Appropriate Behavior - http://goo.gl/isCzTM
Ma

but this discussion reminded me of those incidents.

of course i'll probably end up financing most of it but that's the extent of my involvement. my money will be there but i won't

older cuz in a teenage mind everything is, "meh".

Iont know, bruh.

that 16 year old mother's whole style has to change if she's gonna be a good parent


***
I'm tryna be better off, not better than...

.

At least thats how i would i feel inside but yeah ionno about a BIG baby shower maybe something small tho




____

TWITTER : Heinz21st

IG : H_N_Z

At least thats how i would i feel inside but yeah ionno about a BIG baby shower maybe something small tho




____

TWITTER : Heinz21st

IG : H_N_Z

That's dumb as hell to not throw one because of her age... if her mom had such a problem with her having the kid why didn't they force her to have an abortion?... What kinda lesson is that going to teach their daughter? Next time don't get pregnant at 16??? LMAO... Oh they want to shame her right before she has the child so she can suffer from postpartum depression after the baby is born... Pretty smart friends you have.

but if we're at the point of discussing showers, we're past any alternatives to not having a baby.

we'd deal and move forward. can't be disappointed forever.

I am not celebrating your mistake. Yes a child is a wonderful thing but at 16 it is a fucking mistake. But I would still help them out with things that they might need. Stroller, bottles, carseat, etc. I would let family know if they want to they can also help out. But we are not throwing you a party so you can celebrate.

But isn't that what a baby shower is to invite family and friends in support of this new life? I'm sure the girl didn't get pregnant to have a party... Who does that?... most likely not having the shower for this reason may spark resentment in the 16yr old towards her parents .. Cause if they're making a big deal out of a baby shower I'm sure they trip about all kinds of stupid shit wit her... If ur that disappointed with your child why are you letting her have the baby? Makes no sense

you can definitely wind up a productive adult if you had a kid at 16 too

a family's job is to love unconditionally without judgement, I think they're most worried about what other people will think

pregnancy isnt the end of the world, just a new responsibility for everyone involved

its really comes down to how involved the parents.

Teen pregnancy is at all-time lows. Getting pregnant at 16 is a BIGGER deal now.

sixteen isnt super young to be a mom in 2015

it's never been the norm as long as I've been alive, but it's not the end of the world either. 11th graders are fucking without much more concept of responsibility than a college freshman

not sure why you had to use that regard statement tho...

for someone who doesn't judge you sure are quick to pop off when challenged.

so I typed it again like he was mentally challenged

and everything that come with it.

There's going to be plenty of times for reality checks. You don't have to suck the joy out of every part of the process, though.

You want her to be a happy and engaged mom, you gotta get her excited about being a mom, and all the hard work it entails. Keep it positive, but keep it real. You can't do that by finding petty ways to shit on her and express your disappointment. However, if she wants a party like she seen on MTV's Sweet 16, feel free to ruin her illusions and fantasies about shit like that.

I've got a 14 y.o. daughter so this whole idea is giving me a brain bubble.

If you want the child to grow up feeling shame around their existence bring that energy, or if you want them to have the same love all children deserve then do that.

A baby doesn't need a shower. A shower ain't a birthright or an important part of a child's mental health development. I guess if I don't give my child a sweet sixteen parto I don't love them? Yale stay keeping it dramatic.


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

Movies I need y'all bastids to see so we can discuss:

Five Star - https://goo.gl/jBHbVv
Appropriate Behavior - http://goo.gl/isCzTM
Ma

It's not 100% vital or anything, but I could see it being a positive thing for a 16 year old who's planning on raising a child.

across the globe don't have Baby showers when they have a child. ANd yet, women continue to have children.


It's a privileged entitlement. Not having a baby shower is some first world problems shit y'all trying to make out to be detrimental to a mother and child's development if denied.



**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

Movies I need y'all bastids to see so we can discuss:

Five Star - https://goo.gl/jBHbVv
Appropriate Behavior - http://goo.gl/isCzTM
Ma

to the baby it is to not throw a shower.

At any rate. Replace Baby with Mother in my statement and it still stands.

A mother doesn't need a shower. A shower ain't a birthright or an important part of a mother's mental health development. I guess if I don't give my daugher a sweet sixteen parto I don't love them? Y'all stay keeping it dramatic.

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

Movies I need y'all bastids to see so we can discuss:

Five Star - https://goo.gl/jBHbVv
Appropriate Behavior - http://goo.gl/isCzTM
Ma

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

Movies I need y'all bastids to see so we can discuss:

Five Star - https://goo.gl/jBHbVv
Appropriate Behavior - http://goo.gl/isCzTM
Ma

and why the name-calling? i mean, come on, the kid isn't even fuckin' born yet. while perhaps not indicative of your overall body of work, what you typed was pretty dense, man.

there was no reason to celebrate with a baby shower.

baby's were spoiled once they got here and loved unconditionally tho

but like i said, i mean if she wants it, i don't see any reason to make things uncomfortable, and clearly the shower is for her, not someone who isn't even sentient yet.

>A baby doesn't need a shower. A shower ain't a birthright or
>an important part of a child's mental health development. I
>guess if I don't give my child a sweet sixteen parto I don't
>love them? Yale stay keeping it dramatic.

If the child was a product of whatever the grandparents deem proper and respectful they would have a baby shower. It doesn't, so they're having second thoughts. The conversation here isn't about whether having a baby shower is a birthright. If the family didn't do baby showers at all this whole post would be irrelevant. So all that drama you brought about sweet sixteens was likewise irrelevant, and a hypocrisy after your gripe about drama.

This is about the energy grandparents bring to the birth of a child conceived outside of their sensibilities. As I said, start as you mean to carry on. Shame the daughter, well, I'm sure that never leads to the daughter feeling shameful about their child and the child growing up with issues around their existence. Maybe you like to roll the dice over the sake of the future of the blameless child.

Having watched from the outside looking in at different relatives who have taken opposing approaches this issue, guess which kids have grown up better adjusted?

has a better chance of adjusting. A babyshower or a parent showing disappointment with their 16 year old being pregnant doesn't determine the outcome.

>has a better chance of adjusting. A babyshower or a parent
>showing disappointment with their 16 year old being pregnant
>doesn't determine the outcome.
>

Does not support seed throwing as a good method for cultivating good growth in plants.

Of course people can succeed in spite of their environment, but that doesn't make those who don't succeed because of their environment solely responsible for the failure.

Before you ran out of substance and reached for the ad hominem.

Not much longer though.

difference? Or was it the kid having a baby at sixteen out of wedlock? Curious how you isolated one possible source from the other.


>Having watched from the outside looking in at different
>relatives who have taken opposing approaches this issue, guess
>which kids have grown up better adjusted?


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

Movies I need y'all bastids to see so we can discuss:

Five Star - https://goo.gl/jBHbVv
Appropriate Behavior - http://goo.gl/isCzTM
Ma

Start.as.you.mean.to.carry.on

The parties were all young girls having babies out of wedlock and the more supportive grandparents ended up having the better adjusted and more 'successful' grandchildren. On the one hand the mother was made to feel as self conscious about her situation as possible and it has clearly rubbed off on the kid. The other was embraced as any other kid would be and he's doing much better.

You want to act like it would all be isolated to the lack of a baby shower. I've addressed why I'm skeptical of that.

But carry on. It certainly conforms to what I said.



>difference? Or was it the kid having a baby at sixteen out of
>wedlock? Curious how you isolated one possible source from the
>other.
>
>
>>Having watched from the outside looking in at different
>>relatives who have taken opposing approaches this issue,
>guess
>>which kids have grown up better adjusted?
>
>
>**********
>"Everyone has a

.
.
.

(or was it 14?) they didn't throw her a shower. Instead they shipped her to her aunt's family who raised her.


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

Movies I need y'all bastids to see so we can discuss:

Five Star - https://goo.gl/jBHbVv
Appropriate Behavior - http://goo.gl/isCzTM
Ma

Once you commit to the whole ordeal, I think you gotta treat it as normal and have no shame/stigma involved. Maybe that is WPS but that's what I think and firmly so.

Being pregnant is such a spiritual and powerful experience. Whether the woman is 16 or 36. It is a life. Why not honor this future mom? Give her advice on how to be a centered woman?

When is the right age to have a baby? Nature would say 16!

Our society is so sickening toward pregnant woman.

Listen I don't think anyone would disown their 16 year old for getting preggos but acting as if it's nots an idiotic thing with a silver lining (a beautiful kid) is ridiculous and sending the wrong message. You can show love and support while dealing with disappointment.
____

TWITTER : Heinz21st

IG : H_N_Z

Getting pregnant at 16 is not idiotic. It happens and women survive and kids go on to be beautiful amazing people all over the world.

Is it idiotic to spend $77k on fertility treatments? Is it idiotic to put off pregnancy later in life because you were afraid to look stupid or immature in front of friends or family?

http://www.redbookmag.com/body/pregnancy-fertility/a40826/stop-trying-infertility-treatment/


This girl didn't do any harm to anyone and she will most likely be a wonderful mother.

shit's disgusting.

d

If my daughter got pregnant she knows she just drastically changed her life and has to deal with what comes with making that decision.

She lost all of the fun she had as a teen so she might as well experience all the fun she's gonna have as a mom/adult.

for the reason listed I the OP

My parents always felt like you shouldn't be celebrating teen pregnancy
..yay for babies but a shower is a social gathering for the mom to be

without having Baby Showers?


Ain't it some entitled priveleged first world type problems to argue that it is damaging to a mother (or child) to deny them a party with gifts?




>My boys daughter is pregnant wit her first child. The smoke
>has now cleared & he & his wife are geeked to be having a new
>bundle of joy.
>
> However, she doesn't think it's appropriate to have a shower
>cuz of her age & according to her, bein 16 and pregnant isn't
>anything to celebrate. She recommended having a small dinner
>wit the family and everyone brings pampers, bottles, etc. My
>boy on the other hand wants to go all out to recognize the
>birth of his first grand.
>
>I can see where they're both coming from but it is what it is
>*shrug*


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

Movies I need y'all bastids to see so we can discuss:

Five Star - https://goo.gl/jBHbVv
Appropriate Behavior - http://goo.gl/isCzTM
Ma

illegal immigrant? Pay them top dollar

pregnant at 16? lets celebrate

lol... it's like a nigga drinking kool-aid but denying the existence of water

Who the fuck says you sound white in 2015?

This aint HS bruh...

Can't edit that now

carry a child.

That's what you want tho... to create (more) dysfunction out the gate.
smh.

We've gathered from you that this pregnancy is not ok, and that this "behavior"
of getting pregnant shouldn't be "rewarded" with a baby shower.
So why are you against the shower, specifically?.. w/o "shouldn'ts" and "not ok's"

and my 16 year old having a baby isn't a time to party.

I would love the child, spoil the child, etc...

but there wouldn't be a celebration for my daughter at 16.

when I've attended teenage baby showers - I did it because they needed the support. the reason why parents are ashame is because of the stance your taking.

shit happens, lol

or scared out of her own mind?

the first trimester and would be able to do something about the pregnancy.

Her friends can throw her a little something but nah... aint no way I'm celebrating her pregnancy with a party.

I will celebrate the birth and everything after it but nah.... no shower for a 16 year old.

because that's what it's really about.

but beyond their pride there is the fear of their 16 year old not reaching their full potential because they now have a baby.

Seems odd how people in here think having a baby at 16 isn't hard as fuck on everyone involved.

that you believe there's should be some kind of consequence for her actions. I'm not saying it's going to be easy nevertheless, it's not a time for a parent to turn they're back either. Her fate lies in they're hands...as she's still a child.

The shower also helps out financially...

her friends can throw her a shower but as the parent? I'm not throwing a shower for you.

I will buy diapers, babysit, help out financially but no, no parties for getting pregnant before you graduate.

Deciding that it's somehow a celebration of the manner of conception is a choice, might like making it about ensuring the daughter knows that they have support despite their mistake could also be a choice.

In my experience if you bring the shame energy in the beginning it's likely to stick. The idea that you'll be able to turn it on and off without affecting the child is a cute theory, often said in isolation by people who don't ever have to face the situation for real and be accountable for the consequences.

your 16 year old without throwing a baby shower celebration.

maybe I'm missing something but good energy will never have the impact good parenting will have once the kid is born.

>your 16 year old without throwing a baby shower celebration.

You calling it a celebration is a choice. Also please explain how a baby shower is somehow neither physical or emotional support if it's what you'd normally do for a baby.

>
>
>maybe I'm missing something but good energy will never have
>the impact good parenting will have once the kid is born.
>

You want to treat the child differently to other children based on the manner of conception. If you think they won't ever pick up on that and it won't affect them, it might be nice to roll the dice on their development an absolve yourself from your part in the consequences. I'd rather not take the chance on behalf of a blameless child.

Your inability to read and comprehend ha's been apparent in your responses for sure, thus your cop outs.

Maybe try reading more books.

Me and the "father of the child" are going to have a nice long chat and then he's getting hit with a restraining order.

not having the child? you can't prevent that if she hides it from you.

... I pay attention to everything so of course I see the pregnancy before the six month. Child is getting put up for adoption.

she's having a baby, go ahead and have the shower. Invite who you want, but if she's having it, no sense in trying to shame her now.

Psychologically, if she has another baby at some point, that baby will likely be more "appreciated" because shame won't be part of the equation. That appreciation can affect the first child's confidence. Both children in such a scenario should be brought up to feel equally welcomed.

So what I'm saying is, making a conscious decision to not have the shower initiates shame if you ask me. And that shame may seep through to how that child is brought up.

whole post

It always amazing me how people have 0 idea how to step outside of their viewpoint and see all angles.

Sad really.

and the impact it had on our lives

...very interesting.

if my 16 yr old became pregnant, and wanted to keep it, fine. her body and her decision. i would, however, tell her now she has to "woman up" and get her life together to give this baby a better life than she has. i wouldn't be disappointed because things happen and all i can do is try to raise my child to make the best decisions possible. sometimes ppl make the wrong decisions and that's okay but now we have to work toward making better ones so that these two children won't become statistics. and yes, she can have a baby shower if she chooses. shit that's how you get all the stuff you need for the baby. a 16 year old would be the one who needs it the most given their limited finances.

i'm not saying i'd be happy/ecstatic...i would be concerned and worried. but life throws curveballs but her life wouldn't be over.

but if you're going to have them, you can't be like "but not for this one"




www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

People who are more concerned about the shame it will bring to the parents don't have their priorities straight. Being a parent is about teaching your children how to be good human being and loving them unconditionally. You don't just drop them when they do something you don't like. Fuck shame that's a life.

And for those of y'all talking about taking her or forcing her to get an abortion, y'all are some heartless mfers. Even after you have the abortion she'd still have to deal with the pain of making that decision and not to mention, what's the difference btw that "shame" and the shame conned to your child getting pregnant in the first place?

j/k i would throw one with close family and friends

shorty gon' have all kinds of Matching Trainers and Iphone Accessories under the tree..

love and community, lol

either's an option

When she get on the pole in a couple years.

like you're not a real DJ, not a real person who thinks these things, you cant be

Just wanted to see which cornball would grandstand. Congrats

Edit: your '16 isn't that young anymore' comment was 10x more outlandish btw

Dudes a weirdo. Wonder how long he been waiting to say that to me. Shit was random as hell.

it's almost the same age as a college freshman and we all know having a baby freshman year is easy...

dorm roommates be helping

Yo 16 ain't even that young b. She can get her drivers license and can legally work yo.. she's basically an adult my nigga.

kids who are 13 and 12..

if she can technically have a kid then my all means she gotta be mature enough.

as you say, and are on the same emotional page in that regard, then the baby shower itself is a moot point. It's really easy for people outside of these situations to inject their perspective as the correct one and then use the opportunity to cast aspersion (especially in this place, where people routinely put too much thought into the dumbest shit imaginable and not enough into things that really matter) but honestly there is no direct correlation between not having a baby shower and not supporting your loved one in what's about to happen. This is binary logic at its finest. The child and the future parent don't necessarily have to do without or be abandoned just because a party wasn't thrown. If a parent didn't want this for their child then they have a right to feel let down by the event itself, there's nothing wrong with that. If I had a child and this happened, I'm sure I probably wouldn't exactly be elated by it. But I'd like to think it wouldn't stop me from keeping my responsibility to my family.

Right now everyone is judging that girl rather than providing some much needed support. The deed is done there's no reason to punish her. While the timing might be bad, celebrate a new life. By shaming the mother you only hurt the child.

shame clearly didn't have a significant impact before the pregnancy...why would it be so devastating bc of a lack of a shower?

if i'm not concerned about finances...i probably wouldn't have the shower...if i think she's going to need all the help she can get...i probably would

i have no problem with shame...sometimes it's effective, sometimes it's not...people handle it differently

figured out where the father and his family were at
and looked into the situation healthwise

you'd just carry on as if you were having any grandbaby. i mean holding it over the girl's head isn't gonna make the baby go away or stop it from happening again.

Its just another party,

Further what kind of message does that send to the other children attending this "party"

YOUR INVITED!!

My kid mad poor choices, please come celebrate and be inspired to do the same?

http://xonecole.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/Oprah-You-Get-a-Car-Gif.gif

AND YOU GET A BABY SHOWER
AND YOU GET A BABY SHOWER

and yes the notion that having a party for the girl will en

not even worth finishing the thought. lol

It's a BABY shower. It's not a conception out of wedlock party.

I don't see why parents can't show some guidance (novel idea for a parent I know). Every shower I've been to I've treated as an opportunity to show support to the parent(s) to be and offer a token gift for the baby because I know how expensive parenting will be and most parents need all the help they can get.

Seems some people in here want to withhold emotional and practical support and guidance because they can't get over the semantics of celebration vs support or because they've decided that young friends of the child can't be excluded and because they're not the parents can't turn the occasion into a teachable moment.

Better to send the unambiguous message that the grandchild is a shame to the mother and everyone else, because there's no way an impressionable young person could take that the wrong way and the baby end up suffering consequences because of it.

the emotional support and guidance...

*ducks from insults*

>the emotional support and guidance...


But you and others are intent on withholding that support and guidance. Like I said, start as you mean to carry on.

Could send a big message that the baby, since it's a baby shower, is the priority, one that you and other family members take seriously and that she should. Plus get some gear for the baby.

But no. Send the message that support for a new birth changes due to the manner of conception. There's no way that could be misinterpreted by a teen mother.

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

Movies I need y'all bastids to see so we can discuss:

Five Star - https://goo.gl/jBHbVv
Appropriate Behavior - http://goo.gl/isCzTM
Ma

we know those get offed at mod discretion

If people want to get gifts that's cool, but there will be no party.
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