It's a BABY shower. It's not a conception out of wedlock party.

I don't see why parents can't show some guidance (novel idea for a parent I know). Every shower I've been to I've treated as an opportunity to show support to the parent(s) to be and offer a token gift for the baby because I know how expensive parenting will be and most parents need all the help they can get.

Seems some people in here want to withhold emotional and practical support and guidance because they can't get over the semantics of celebration vs support or because they've decided that young friends of the child can't be excluded and because they're not the parents can't turn the occasion into a teachable moment.

Better to send the unambiguous message that the grandchild is a shame to the mother and everyone else, because there's no way an impressionable young person could take that the wrong way and the baby end up suffering consequences because of it.