This year has begun.. here's hoping and imagining it can't be as wackjob as last year.. but I don't want to jinx it so I guess we'll just see how it shakes out.

Happy new year family!

go 4th!!!

im not turning over any page lol i think i might get serious on finding a new job before the summer. get that yearly bonus and bounce.

coworker just came back from lunch and it suddenly smells like skunk in here.

boss has us both working at the office this week. not sure if this is it moving forward. maybe ill have a better attitude tomorrow.

will my love ones and I make it through the pandemic?!
BILLS win the Super Bowl?!
will this be the year I find love...

**fingers crossed**

I had an appointment in DC scheduled for tomorrow. That joint has been canceled because of the nonsense that’s potentially bound to happen.

It hit today that my lil one is graduating in a few months. Four years ago, I was here sharing what the selection process was like. And here we are with her about to do it.

And yeah... Getting out of the bed to turn on the laptop this morning was tough. I just wanted to sleep more before getting up to finish off that charcuterie board and then smoke a nice stogie.

HAPPY NEW YEAR, YOU MUDDA SUCKAS!

--- praying for peace, love, and power

hope all is well.

--- praying for peace, love, and power

Unsettled? Anxious? Idk....but I don't like it.

I’ve always had nervous energy but now it’s tenfold.

Been raining a lot. Managed to get a moto ride in on the 2nd. Gonna be in the 40s this week so I'll probably be riding around the city a bit.

I've recently accepted that I have no idea what to do, so I'm just gonna do what I do the best way that I can and see if it works out.

Going hard in 2021. I have a good feeling about the time period coming up. With hard work and positive energy, we can all really do some big things. I feel it.

after i left work yesterday i got an email for the zoom invitation which was scheduled for before i come in. then a second email from my boss, im thinking ah cool he notified them that i dont come in that early. nope he was just telling me to make sure i call in.

all of this just to hear the customer of a customer complain that he wasnt coddled about some needed changes.

wow. so... uhh... what's good? bills n browns. bout it really eh? you think feb will be chiller maybe?

still, i tune in and instantly im rooting for the Browns...or against the Steelers? lol

i also found myself rooting for...the Football Team.

Titans was my eh i guess i dont care if they win the superbowl team so not sure who i will switch my shrug of allegiance to now.

no GB, Saints, TB, Rams. so i guess im team AFC. maybe i need to root for the Ravens since they took out the Titans?

switching subjects

someone at work has it out for me or i encountered a delivery driver with a lot of rage as i left work for lunch today lol

like, we’re a legit contender this season and still can’t get a mention lol
Indy defense ain’t a joke tho. But all road must come thru Buffalo

I drunk a whole 12 pack watching the game. It’s Monday and my body still paying for it.

got not love for them and minimal hate. if they beat the ravens i think i have root for them so theres that lol

---
Love,
Nopayne

I be wanting my mother to chill but her ass ain’t with just sitting around. I need ideas because she not interested in mine lol

the door is directly after some steps so i had to step back down after i grabbed it and missed a step lol didnt fall or anything but its a bit tender now.

i think the boss decided to have a morning conference with my coworkers to try to shame me for not being at my desk by starting time. pffft.

no suggestions for your mom, sorry.

fa’ talking down about the BILLS.

/
one thing about my mother, she’s gonna do whatever she wants. In a sense, I admire her independence but damn it’s cool to chill some times..

what is she doing or how does she need to chill?

always changing the house around
painting
shoveling
taking the garbage out
cooking

like. now I have nothing to do lol

what does she say when you try to cook?

she was receptive to it.

/

she doesn’t eat my cooking, lol. my mother loves her soul food and swears I don’t use enough salt and stuff....

in the background

not a surprise but oof

well, i think i want to do it but not sure how i should go about it.

i want to offer to start doing project management for new jobs. its kind of a mess right now and boss isnt delegating it to anyone, more just giving everyone some pieces at the last minute.

he sent an email asking about our goals so my first thought was to include that in there along with goals for what i currently do. would it make more sense to bring up the project management separately? before or after sending my goals?

Or, could your goals include project management elements, without directly stating being a PM? And then bring it up in a separate converstaion?

My business savvy sucks, so Im just rolling out ideas.

i have it listed as my last goal and i start it off by saying we would need to meet if we are to move forward with this one. its listed as involvement in project management for new items.

i think theres an 80% chance he just says thats nice and we dont do anything on it. i have mentioned it to him before but just in passing. just yesterday there was a big stink due to the lack of this so might be good timing where he might consider it.

i have it all typed up ready to hit send but thats when i thought that maybe i need to consider doing it differently.

Still seems like some corny-ass shit, but I told myself that if we get through this election without the country burning down I'm gonna push much, much harder in 2021.

I got a bunch of colored lights for the studio for ambience when recording. Gotta get another camera or two before it warms up in the spring and we're out riding.

Bass is tight. No more boomy-ness. Ice pick treble is gone too, and it sounds much smoother even tho it won't be broken in for quite a while. The old speaker sounded scooped, this one sounds flat. Much louder too. Gonna build a box for the old speaker and use it as an extra.

Gonna slowly upgrade the speakers in all of my audio equipment. Something I've really overlooked. Next up are some real studio monitors instead of these 4" JBL bookshelf speakers.

we don’t know what’s about to happen in the coming days. I did a pick up of groceries and bearing down...

/

I’m going thru old pictures to reorganize my life. man, do I have a story to tell...

Some more candles too. Gassing up the vehicles. The looting and subsequent lockdown here caught me off guard earlier in the year. Not trying to be stuck in the house w/ no goodies.

I'm worried that we're about to get another "event." Something bad.


---


I haven't worn *any* of my dope gear since 2019 really. About to start having photo sessions w/ my lady as reason to dress up.

its happened to me a few times with a range of products. i order something, a couple months pass and i decide i should get another go to my amazon orders (or wherever) find the item. when i click on it its no longer available.

i know its happened with a pillow, bedding and drinking glasses. i think a few other things too.

i went ahead an ordered a midi keyboard at guitar center. wanted to pick it up after work yesterday but it wasnt ready for pick up until 10 am today. got it during lunch. lets see if i actually make use of it. i got 45 days to return it without penalty.

i hope there is an actual attempt to reduce or stop whatever these fools are planning next.

respect.

so I like to play poker.. mostly for play money these days as all the casinos are closed and I've yet to try real money online sites... anyway over the last few years without spending a dime to buy chips or collecting free spin chips etc i have turned 25,000 into 94,678,695... I guess what I'm saying is my patience is wearing thin and I really want the casinos to open again or I'm gonna have to try my hand at a real money online game... I guess I'm also kinda proud of those results and want to low key brag even if it is only fake money.

poker is pretty fun, especially in person.

i was thinking back the other day to when i won at my brothers friends bachelor party. i maybe should have given it to the groom eh?

been kind of hectic at work lately. looks like im in for a bit of calm for now.

but forgivable that you didn't imo.

I literally want to fight

and all the shit any of us are missing is nothing compared to what's missing for those who've lost loved ones.

it's fucking horrific. *bite's lip and swallows lump in throat*

I've tried for the past month to stay up late (past 11pm) to work on some projects (because it's quiet at night), but I always fall asleep. Always waking up around 5:30am everyday too.

I think I'm over city life. I want something like this: https://www.landandfarm.com/property/12_Acres_in_Chester_County-12038147/

Not that exact property, but the layout. I could turn that barn into a workshop separate from the house and have a quiet space to work and not have to worry about being quiet myself. Turn those coops into greenhouses.

I’m about to start journaling about this new universe we’re about to enter.

seems with no more drama (knocks on wood)

lets hope and do what we can to avoid that happening again.

quote of a friend off shimmy's feed...

Happy that chapter is over. Just want to soak it in.

One last hangover from 45*, the commutation of Kwame is fucking with me. Seems like most black people are in support of him getting out, but all I see is the murder of a sex worker who's death was never solved, and the evidence that points to Kwame having ordered it. All I see is another black woman whose life is seemingly worthless, and the lack of value and concern for this young mother of three kids.

Obviously I don't know the truth, so I could totally have these strong feelings for nothing, but damn, so tired of feeling like people who look like me don't matter.

__________________________________________

I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.

— F. Scott Fitzgerald

your post just gave me flashbacks.

Haven't been drinking enough water and haven't been eating enough. Cold weather screws up my metabolism big time.

I can’t decide how appropriate it would be to bathe with my grand daughter. she’s not doing it right and since she learns best when she’s shown....I want to help her.

for her future...

well that weekend of football was shite.... craptastic.. gatdam brady... I guess now we hope Kansas takes it...

only one more thing I want to say about this weekend.. what in the entire fawk was matt lafleur thinking?!?!?! That shit was probably the stupidest call I've seen since not handing the ball to marshawn.. possibly stupider. smdh. weaksauce.. If I was a green bay fan I would be ashamed.

crowned them the AFC Champs and everything. I knew when they didn’t go for it on 4th and 1....they weren’t ready.

I imagine BILLS vs BUCS in the super bowl and finally beating Brandy.

still my team tho...

that game started off so fantastically too... I wasn't as mad about the bills choice there as I was about the packers.. in the land of errors not as critical and there was more of an argument to be had either way... but I get the "not ready" feeling when a safe call is made in those circumstances... good season though... good luck next year.

Cannot believe the continued incompetence of the government and citizens.

Not tired enough to travel overseas or anything though. That's just dumb and irresponsible and selfish.

i dont see the logic to kicking that field goal. i found out that my dislike of green bay/rodgers is greater than my dislike of tom. still, not happy tom is in another sb.

i didnt get to see the second half of the bills game but it looked like KC had it under control by the end of the 1st qtr. bills should be back though if theyre not losing their key pieces.

definitely rooting for KC over tampa.

i found out elizabeth olsen (wanda from marvel) is the younger sister to the olsen twins this weekend lol. i dont know why i hadnt considered that before. cant unsee it now though.

Like even when I first found out....I don't see it

if i see her alone she looks familiar but i cant put my finger on it. then when i found out my brain clicked.

in this picture i think they could pass as triplets

https://hips.hearstapps.com/hmg-prod.s3.amazonaws.com/images/elizabeth-olsen-siblings-twins-mary-kate-ashley-1611075509.jpg?crop=0.914xw:0.597xh;0.0205xw,0.0349xh&resize=76

hit and miss these days

so far today..

miss...

I don't even know If I remember what it's like to be excited about something... really have not been fully psyched in sooooooo looooong.

getting drunk and listening to loud music not withstanding.

im not sure what my plan is. im kind of pushing people away then getting down cause no ones there lol

music thing is some entertainment. i made some progress this weekend but i swear each time i get the computer booted up and ready to go my phone starts going off and i cant just ignore people lol

doesnt help that i push it off until like 8 pm each day

i did find my aux cables to play it through my AVR. couldnt get it working with hdmi but as long as i have the option for audio that should be enough.

ive been eating a bit better so hopefully i actually start feeling a difference and not just slouching the whole time im home. need to pick up the exercising.

really I play all over the map.. I get stuck playing same songs every day in rotation for awhile... thins move in and out of that rotation and really the mix is over almost all genres but probably hip hop, rock and doom metal top heavy.

used this before but it's stands to be repeated...

https://media2.giphy.com/media/q8FTABFdv9jVu/giphy.gif

it was starting to look like we might get extremely busy. ive been getting ahead of it but it might be for nothing.

Got some videos I'm ready to shoot, and now this. SMH.

My singing's getting better. Been practicing and recording songs more. Trying to get 2hrs/day in of guitar + bass, keys & vocals.

I've got a little 4-piece drum kit that needs some love. Hoping to get practicing on this by the summer. I used to love making drum tracks on my MPC more that anything, but now quantizing sounds sterile to me and my unquantized drums always sound weird.

so I get the worst of both worlds, sterile synthetic sound and technical incompetence.

>so I get the worst of both worlds, sterile synthetic sound
>and technical incompetence.

Those electronic kits are really dope. You can get to keep the nuances and still have MIDI. Way quieter too. If I was buying a set I'd defnitely go electronic. The drums I have are my cousin's old set from the 1980s. Sparkly blue.

Still gotta learn how to play tho. I can hold a basic beat and that's it. Any type of accent or fill and it's trainwreck time, lol.