Printer-friendly copy Email this topic to a friend
Lobby General Discussion topic #12759626

Subject: "Black men, do you feel stifled? " Previous topic | Next topic
scout
Charter member
44572 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 02:06 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
"Poll question: Black men, do you feel stifled? "


  

          

like youre walking a fine line in life? Do you believe it's hard to be a successful black man? If so, why? I'm trying to understand my brothers, my loves better.

Poll result (24 votes)
yes (5 votes)Vote
no (15 votes)Vote
its complicated, explain (4 votes)Vote

  

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top


Topic Outline
Subject Author Message Date ID
sure.
Mar 23rd 2015
1
more than black women?
Mar 23rd 2015
2
      no.
Mar 23rd 2015
66
           am I asking the wrong questions or are you purposely being squirrelly?
Mar 23rd 2015
69
                the question is just very open-ended.
Mar 23rd 2015
70
                     I want all the answers that's why. and I didnt wanna influence any answe...
Mar 23rd 2015
71
                          why? i live on the margins of my society.
Mar 23rd 2015
73
                               thanks for the teeth, sir.
Mar 23rd 2015
79
                               i logged in to say damn, cuz
Mar 23rd 2015
96
you have to pick a master. until you do, it's an uphill struggle...
Mar 23rd 2015
3
this part I see a LOT of:
Mar 23rd 2015
4
much more noble than those. Success, Keeping it "real", Pleasing you mam...
Mar 23rd 2015
8
      this is good
Mar 23rd 2015
31
well, i am certainly drinking later.
Mar 23rd 2015
11
I don't feel handcuffed.
Mar 23rd 2015
5
had u made many "mistakes" before u came to this realization:
Mar 23rd 2015
10
      too many to name, but a few big ones.
Mar 23rd 2015
18
Its not hard, I do what I'm supposed to do and it gets done.
Mar 23rd 2015
6
do you/did you have help? If so, from whom/what?
Mar 23rd 2015
12
      No help, I just put myself out there. Let people get to know me, I dont ...
Mar 23rd 2015
29
           what i mean is did you come from a semi functional fam, have
Mar 23rd 2015
32
Never let this society take away your cheerfulness.
Mar 23rd 2015
7
what do you think separated you from the other men in jail?
Mar 23rd 2015
27
      nothing. i was hanging wit them all day
Mar 23rd 2015
30
           i mean as far as your walk in life. why are you out and they aren't?
Mar 23rd 2015
33
                we were all in there on misdemeanors.
Mar 23rd 2015
39
                     i know a couple them:
Mar 23rd 2015
44
Yes.
Mar 23rd 2015
9
couldn't some of those be considered positive traits, tho?
Mar 23rd 2015
16
      The traits on the left are positive ones. The ones on the right are how....
Mar 23rd 2015
37
           right, but why do you think they're interpreted that way where you
Mar 23rd 2015
38
                The FEAR I see in people's eyes... while I'm wearing a shirt & tie.
Mar 23rd 2015
43
                     what city do you live/work in?
Mar 23rd 2015
47
                          Philadelphia
Mar 23rd 2015
78
i realize that i do not have the view of entitlement in my rolodex
Mar 23rd 2015
13
nigga you supposed to be everywhere
Mar 23rd 2015
19
social cues+racial neuroticism = lets be real
Mar 23rd 2015
22
      "racial neuroticism" is a great term
Mar 23rd 2015
35
           I should also add....
Mar 23rd 2015
52
                whatever this is: an over-think-y ambivert, i think i'm it, too lol
Mar 23rd 2015
54
                     yeah me too
Mar 23rd 2015
59
i sense that with just about every black man i ever accompany
Mar 23rd 2015
21
everyday....can't be 'myself' in at all times
Mar 23rd 2015
14
it doesn't sit well with me either.
Mar 23rd 2015
23
The answer right below me
Mar 23rd 2015
15
stifled? no. frustrated? yeah.
Mar 23rd 2015
17
frustrated how?
Mar 23rd 2015
25
      it just feels like i have a lot of limits on me
Mar 23rd 2015
41
           i wish okp had the thumbs up like facebook, lol.
Mar 23rd 2015
42
                too young to give up.
Mar 23rd 2015
55
Being a black man has only been a positive for me. No Lie.
Mar 23rd 2015
20
Honestly, I've only RECENTLY seen it effect my advancement.
Mar 23rd 2015
24
how?? this really has me curious. so you saying being a black
Mar 23rd 2015
34
      oh it ABSOLUTELY has it perks.
Mar 23rd 2015
68
           This is exactly right.
Mar 23rd 2015
93
how has being a black man benefitted you?
Mar 23rd 2015
26
this has been documented, bin has talked about it.
Mar 23rd 2015
56
I've benefited from Affirmative Action. Also no matter where I go
Mar 23rd 2015
92
this is also something i agree with
Mar 23rd 2015
53
even in finding housing / apartments?
Mar 23rd 2015
62
      I can't think of it ever being a problem in that regard.
Mar 23rd 2015
90
Yes, all kinds of social limits on how I "should" be
Mar 23rd 2015
28
not fitting stereotypes? do you sense that people are
Mar 23rd 2015
36
      People that have a box for me are disappointed I'm not in it, usually
Mar 23rd 2015
46
           does that disappoint you?
Mar 23rd 2015
50
                It usually manifest itself as an attack on me not being "enough" someway...
Mar 23rd 2015
58
i don't but I know my brothers do.
Mar 23rd 2015
40
how are you different from your brothers?
Mar 23rd 2015
51
no.
Mar 23rd 2015
45
do you think it's different for gay men, tho?
Mar 23rd 2015
49
      Yeah, I want sowhat to elaborate cuz...
Mar 23rd 2015
60
      all speculation on my part, but
Mar 23rd 2015
61
      i do feel that.
Mar 23rd 2015
83
           this is the key
Mar 23rd 2015
89
      or any gay okp.
Mar 23rd 2015
63
      OR MAYBE i don't feel like being a black man has hampered me
Mar 23rd 2015
77
      Dan Savage talks about this all the time.
Mar 23rd 2015
65
           i am so sick of you ppl.
Mar 23rd 2015
76
                *BLINK**BLINK*
Mar 23rd 2015
85
                     Living in this gay bubble where all of my world is super gay
Mar 23rd 2015
88
      well it helps that i duck walk and dip every 5 steps.
Mar 23rd 2015
75
           you are not a flaming ass dick champion faggot in my eyes
Mar 23rd 2015
82
           i know, i know.
Mar 23rd 2015
84
                I ain't been on here since December tho. I come in peace, I swear.
Mar 23rd 2015
86
                     I believe you.
Mar 23rd 2015
87
           LOL. thank you, sir.
Mar 23rd 2015
94
it depends on how you mean.
Mar 23rd 2015
48
Not At All
Mar 23rd 2015
57
nope, beyond not being the millionaire I feel I deserve to be
Mar 23rd 2015
64
what do you think of reply #65?
Mar 23rd 2015
67
      that hasn't been my experience but it makes sense
Mar 23rd 2015
74
Used to
Mar 23rd 2015
72
i have never had it work against me
Mar 23rd 2015
80
Where did all the females go on this site?
Mar 23rd 2015
81
Did you mean to ask that here?
Mar 23rd 2015
91
      Was just going to say, bad post placement
Mar 23rd 2015
97
no
Mar 23rd 2015
95
Nope, a solid education and proper preparation for the world...
Mar 23rd 2015
98
hell yeah! these peckerwoods don't want no nigga to win.
Mar 24th 2015
99
heck Yes In AMERIKKKA
Mar 26th 2015
100
I surely did as a youth, but not as much now
Mar 26th 2015
101

IkeMoses
Charter member
70864 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 02:09 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
1. "sure."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

-30-
You know it's drama, but it sound real good.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
scout
Charter member
44572 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 02:09 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
2. "more than black women?"
In response to Reply # 1


  

          

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

        
IkeMoses
Charter member
70864 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 04:12 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
66. "no."
In response to Reply # 2


  

          

-30-
You know it's drama, but it sound real good.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

            
scout
Charter member
44572 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 04:14 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
69. "am I asking the wrong questions or are you purposely being squirrelly?"
In response to Reply # 66


  

          

Why must I pull teeth, ike?

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                
IkeMoses
Charter member
70864 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 04:17 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
70. "the question is just very open-ended."
In response to Reply # 69


  

          

-30-
You know it's drama, but it sound real good.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                    
scout
Charter member
44572 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 04:22 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
71. "I want all the answers that's why. and I didnt wanna influence any answe..."
In response to Reply # 70


  

          

Plus, I asked you why. Yeen answer that part

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                        
IkeMoses
Charter member
70864 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 04:31 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
73. "why? i live on the margins of my society."
In response to Reply # 71


  

          

socially, economically, and culturally.

my presence is not wanted.

my ideas are dismissed.

my wellbeing is neglected.

-30-
You know it's drama, but it sound real good.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                            
scout
Charter member
44572 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 04:41 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
79. "thanks for the teeth, sir."
In response to Reply # 73


  

          

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                            
duD
Member since Jul 06th 2003
19709 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 07:58 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
96. "i logged in to say damn, cuz"
In response to Reply # 73


          

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

FLUIDJ
Member since Sep 18th 2002
43502 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 02:10 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
3. "you have to pick a master. until you do, it's an uphill struggle..."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

and without a doubt, once you make a choice...you have to accept that you'll be ostracized by the masters you didn't roll with.

The unfortunate reality is that the choice is often made at a point in your life where the mistakes and missteps you've mad have already prevented you from even fulfilling your full potential.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
scout
Charter member
44572 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 02:12 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
4. "this part I see a LOT of:"
In response to Reply # 3
Mon Mar-23-15 02:12 PM by scout

  

          

>The unfortunate reality is that the choice is often made at a
>point in your life where the mistakes and missteps you've mad
>have already prevented you from even fulfilling your full
>potential.

but what do you mean by pick a master? money? sex? fame? can you please break it down for me. and why is it so hard to pick a master?

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

        
FLUIDJ
Member since Sep 18th 2002
43502 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 02:18 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
8. "much more noble than those. Success, Keeping it "real", Pleasing you mam..."
In response to Reply # 4


  

          

>>The unfortunate reality is that the choice is often made at
>a
>>point in your life where the mistakes and missteps you've
>mad
>>have already prevented you from even fulfilling your full
>>potential.
>
>but what do you mean by pick a master? money? sex? fame? can
>you please break it down for me. and why is it so hard to pick
>a master?

Fulfilling Family Expectations, Being a good mate.

Some of those are often inherently at odds with each other because the definitions are dictated more so by external ideals than internal goals.

What complicates things for Black men is that so much of our "manhood" is tied to values from within our culture without consideration to factors and roadblocks that we have to navigate in a way that compromises those qualities.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

            
scout
Charter member
44572 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 02:51 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
31. "this is good"
In response to Reply # 8


  

          

i'm weighing it all but just wanted to let you know that i "heard" you

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
double negative
Member since Dec 14th 2007
21796 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 02:21 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
11. "well, i am certainly drinking later. "
In response to Reply # 3


  

          

***********************************************************
https://soundcloud.com/swageyph/yph-die-with-me

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

tariqhu
Charter member
15827 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 02:15 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy listClick to send message via AOL IM
5. "I don't feel handcuffed. "
In response to Reply # 0
Mon Mar-23-15 02:33 PM by tariqhu

          

I'm completely aware of all the societal constraints, but I keep moving and landing in better spots than I was in previously. I also realize that my own decisions have a huge impact on where I end up.

Like a lot of folks, I had the single parent, hood living scenario. There are plenty examples of folks moving forward from that. my biggest goal when I was young was to stay alive and not in jail.

with that said, I feel more difficulty dealing with debt than anything else. again, my own decisions.

Y'all buy those labels, I was born supreme

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
scout
Charter member
44572 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 02:20 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
10. "had u made many "mistakes" before u came to this realization:"
In response to Reply # 5


  

          

>I also realize that my own decisions have a huge
>impact on where I end up.

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

        
tariqhu
Charter member
15827 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 02:30 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy listClick to send message via AOL IM
18. "too many to name, but a few big ones."
In response to Reply # 10


          

joining the air force was one. bad idea for me, but I was able to get out after a few months.

there were other bad decisions that could have sent me to jail for years, but fortunately it worked out otherwise.

Y'all buy those labels, I was born supreme

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

DavidHasselhoff
Charter member
11432 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 02:16 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
6. "Its not hard, I do what I'm supposed to do and it gets done."
In response to Reply # 0


          

I just live life

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
scout
Charter member
44572 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 02:23 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
12. "do you/did you have help? If so, from whom/what?"
In response to Reply # 6
Mon Mar-23-15 02:23 PM by scout

  

          

what is your support system, if any

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

        
DavidHasselhoff
Charter member
11432 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 02:46 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
29. "No help, I just put myself out there. Let people get to know me, I dont ..."
In response to Reply # 12


          

any bridges. Always leave a good impression.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

            
scout
Charter member
44572 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 02:52 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
32. "what i mean is did you come from a semi functional fam, have "
In response to Reply # 29
Mon Mar-23-15 02:53 PM by scout

  

          

a Tiger Mom, had a teacher/professor/mentor take you under his/her wings, a spouse that supported you while you grew your sea legs, etc.?

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

Madvillain 626
Member since Apr 25th 2006
10018 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 02:16 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
7. "Never let this society take away your cheerfulness."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

In Meditations by Marcus Aurelius, he says a man should never lose his cheerfulness. I agree.

A lot of black men are hardened by 40. Cynical and angry. This world will wear your spirit down if you let it.

I went to jail for about a day recently and there were these young black dudes talking about all sorts of stuff since we were waiting for our court appearance. They said at one point "these police motherfuckers want to break our spirit, but this jail shit can't break our spirit." Lord knows I didn't want to be there, but I felt that. And that can be applied to any system of white supremacy in the outside world.

Tariq Nasheed had a podcast ep recently about Logic and Emotion, and how whites want to get us all riled up and pissed off, and once that happens, they won. He's right.

One has to remember that this world is absurd. All of it. Even if racism didn't exist, the world would still be absurd. Capitalism. Taxes. 8 hour workdays. Laws. Our institutional structures, life itself. All fucking absurd. That doesn't mean I'm a fucking bum or a communist, I'm going to handle my shit and navigate the racist fuckery regardless...but life is stil absurd. No reason to take this shit TOO seriously.

So, do I feel financially stifled? For now, hell yeah. You don't have to be black to feel that, and I'm stifled for dumb shit I've done more so than stifled by white supremacy.

But emotional/spiritually/mentally stifled? Hell nah, never. I'll remain happy and cheerful in the face of adversity until I'm six feet deep. Anything less is lettin the bullshit and the bullshitters win.

Nahmsayin?

-------------------------------
If life is stupendous one cannot also demand that it should be easy. - Robert Musil

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
scout
Charter member
44572 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 02:44 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
27. "what do you think separated you from the other men in jail?"
In response to Reply # 7


  

          

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

        
Madvillain 626
Member since Apr 25th 2006
10018 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 02:49 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
30. "nothing. i was hanging wit them all day"
In response to Reply # 27


  

          

-------------------------------
If life is stupendous one cannot also demand that it should be easy. - Robert Musil

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

            
scout
Charter member
44572 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 02:53 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
33. "i mean as far as your walk in life. why are you out and they aren't?"
In response to Reply # 30
Mon Mar-23-15 02:54 PM by scout

  

          

is it as simple as making better choices?

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                
Madvillain 626
Member since Apr 25th 2006
10018 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 03:05 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
39. "we were all in there on misdemeanors."
In response to Reply # 33


  

          

so we all "got out", but I guess it comes down to circumstance and choices. My family is dysfunctional, but I had both parents in my life and while we was poor, never lived in the hood.

I also went to decent public schools and was too much of nerd to even have a shot at crime even if I wanted it.

Other black men are placed on a path that directly leads to prison, sometimes just because of the neighborhood they grow up in.

-------------------------------
If life is stupendous one cannot also demand that it should be easy. - Robert Musil

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                    
scout
Charter member
44572 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 03:14 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
44. "i know a couple them:"
In response to Reply # 39
Mon Mar-23-15 03:15 PM by scout

  

          

>Other black men are placed on a path that directly leads to
>prison, sometimes just because of the neighborhood they grow
>up in.

one sparked this post. he aspired to be a rapper and get out of the hood. got close, but no cigar. now he's 43, a bunch of kids, 3 baby mommas, and working for his wife's daycare. he seems to have a love/hate relationship with black folks/himself. the type that says shit like "mike brown wasn't innocent" or "trayvon Martin wasn't no angel" as if he truly believes that either deserved to be shot down like a dog in the street because they may not have been perfect.

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

8-bit
Member since Jan 12th 2010
10841 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 02:18 PM

Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
9. "Yes."
In response to Reply # 0
Mon Mar-23-15 02:20 PM by 8-bit

  

          

Strong == menacing
Confident == asshole
Intelligent == arrogant
Sexual == rapey

etc.

---
http://twitter.com/logicalhood
http://instagram.com/hoodlogic

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
scout
Charter member
44572 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 02:27 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
16. "couldn't some of those be considered positive traits, tho?"
In response to Reply # 9


  

          

i mean, I love a strong, intelligent, confident black man.

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

        
8-bit
Member since Jan 12th 2010
10841 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 02:59 PM

Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
37. "The traits on the left are positive ones. The ones on the right are how...."
In response to Reply # 16


  

          

...I suspect some people interpret those traits, coming from me.

---
http://twitter.com/logicalhood
http://instagram.com/hoodlogic

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

            
scout
Charter member
44572 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 03:01 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
38. "right, but why do you think they're interpreted that way where you "
In response to Reply # 37


  

          

are concerned?

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                
8-bit
Member since Jan 12th 2010
10841 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 03:12 PM

Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
43. "The FEAR I see in people's eyes... while I'm wearing a shirt & tie."
In response to Reply # 38
Mon Mar-23-15 03:19 PM by 8-bit

  

          

Shirt, tie & name badge at that. The whole "white lady jumping like I'm Freddie Kruger when I exit the elevator" shtick is getting old now. I'm pretty-much limited to certain social situations to be able to express myself as a sexual being, otherwise I'm treated like some scheming harasser. If I speak at my normal voice (I'm 6'6" 200, so I naturally have a deep, loud voice) people get nervous or scared like I'm yelling in anger.

It's frustrating, because no matter what *I* do personally or professionally, I still get treated by people that haven't known me for a while like a shiftless black man.


I should note that none of these things really happen in the mostly-black neighborhood I grew up in... It's actually the opposite there.

Also, I should note that this affects me personally far more than it does professionally. Hard work & talent still matters in the workplace.

---
http://twitter.com/logicalhood
http://instagram.com/hoodlogic

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                    
scout
Charter member
44572 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 03:20 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
47. "what city do you live/work in?"
In response to Reply # 43
Mon Mar-23-15 03:20 PM by scout

  

          

seeing a black man dressed up nicely in suit and tie for work is a rare sight for me so whenever i do see them my heart smiles and i wonder how he's different from the rest. there's a man here in my office (it's a big ass office and i work in another dept so i don't know him) like that. he's easily 6'6, well dressed, a manager of some sort, always has a briefcase. i love to see him...except when he's acting like he's flirting. or maybe i'm tripping and he's really not. iono, but when i first started working here, he traversed two floors and came allllll the way over to my desk to ask me how i liked my new gig. i'm not in his department. there are easily 20 other black women here so i'm not a novelty. but i digress, lol or maybe i'm part of the problem you speak of! ??

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                        
8-bit
Member since Jan 12th 2010
10841 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 04:41 PM

Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
78. "Philadelphia"
In response to Reply # 47


  

          

---
http://twitter.com/logicalhood
http://instagram.com/hoodlogic

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

double negative
Member since Dec 14th 2007
21796 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 02:24 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
13. "i realize that i do not have the view of entitlement in my rolodex"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

like, if i walk into a new place I dont think "oh, im SUPPOSED to be here" its more like "lets see what sort of reaction we might get"

where as other folks dont even think about this stuff

eh.

***********************************************************
https://soundcloud.com/swageyph/yph-die-with-me

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
Madvillain 626
Member since Apr 25th 2006
10018 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 02:31 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
19. "nigga you supposed to be everywhere"
In response to Reply # 13


  

          

>like, if i walk into a new place I dont think "oh, im
>SUPPOSED to be here" its more like "lets see what sort of
>reaction we might get"


my ancestors struggled so that i could go wherever the fuck i please, as long as a nigga safe.

-------------------------------
If life is stupendous one cannot also demand that it should be easy. - Robert Musil

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

        
double negative
Member since Dec 14th 2007
21796 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 02:35 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
22. "social cues+racial neuroticism = lets be real"
In response to Reply # 19


  

          

i hear you

but

im kind of like a stand up comedian in that I am hyper aware of people and situations. I'm damn near OCD in how I notice small cues that paint the big picture.

am i walking around looking shook? no. but I am very much in my head and aware of what people are doing

***********************************************************
https://soundcloud.com/swageyph/yph-die-with-me

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

            
Madvillain 626
Member since Apr 25th 2006
10018 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 02:56 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
35. ""racial neuroticism" is a great term"
In response to Reply # 22
Mon Mar-23-15 02:58 PM by Madvillain 626

  

          

I've felt that. But living on the West Coast, I had to let it go a bit or else I'd be limiting my experience and making life harder than it needs to be. Just gotta deal with being around a whole lot of Mexicans, Asians, Armenians, whites, etc.

I'm sure white dudes feel the same way in black barbershops that I do when I go them hella white hipster coffe shops with crazy drink names. But shit I'm tryin to live a dope life, can't be on that "what do they think of me? do they want me here?" all the time. Who gives a fuck.

Can't let these white folk just read think pieces and vote democrat but never be around actual black people. Nope. I'm gon be ALL UP in your personal spaces, your bars, your parties, your everything. Can't get away from this nigga.

-------------------------------
If life is stupendous one cannot also demand that it should be easy. - Robert Musil

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                
double negative
Member since Dec 14th 2007
21796 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 03:27 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
52. "I should also add...."
In response to Reply # 35
Mon Mar-23-15 03:30 PM by double negative

  

          

>I've felt that. But living on the West Coast, I had to let it
>go a bit or else I'd be limiting my experience and making life
>harder than it needs to be. Just gotta deal with being around
>a whole lot of Mexicans, Asians, Armenians, whites, etc.
>
>I'm sure white dudes feel the same way in black barbershops
>that I do when I go them hella white hipster coffe shops with
>crazy drink names. But shit I'm tryin to live a dope life,
>can't be on that "what do they think of me? do they want me
>here?" all the time. Who gives a fuck.
>
>Can't let these white folk just read think pieces and vote
>democrat but never be around actual black people. Nope. I'm
>gon be ALL UP in your personal spaces, your bars, your
>parties, your everything. Can't get away from this nigga.



that I went to private school and where I was for a few years was deep in pockets where I was surrounded by wealthy white liberals (like, "oh you are Mr so and so?" *looks at name of building I would be standing in front of at the time "Well, nice to meet you!") Like......spots team owning levels of wealth.

when I say "entitlement is not in my rolodex" i mean that I would always second guess myself when it came to dealing deals and spinning wheels during meet and greets, and schmoozing events.

My classmates and colleagues went ass over teakettle and got buddy buddy with those people. I could never fully feel comfortable in those situations

now the stuff that you mention, I mean, I'm always going to be me and I have no issue going where the white folks are...black nerd since day one, however for the sake of this post I am letting hang out and state that I am aware of the subtle shifts that happen when I come into a room and it makes for a bit of internal dialog when I question peoples intentions....is it interest or disinterest? is there a welcome vibe or no welcome vibe?

some people can just bypass that shit and I think its for me more of me being an over-think-y ambivert

or maybe I am wrong and a lot of people feel that shit.

***********************************************************
https://soundcloud.com/swageyph/yph-die-with-me

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                    
scout
Charter member
44572 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 03:31 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
54. "whatever this is: an over-think-y ambivert, i think i'm it, too lol"
In response to Reply # 52


  

          

.

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                        
Madvillain 626
Member since Apr 25th 2006
10018 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 03:42 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
59. "yeah me too"
In response to Reply # 54


  

          

I've been reading on zen buddhism a lot tho, and the concept of not letting the outside world leave a trace on your thoughts and actions could have a lot of benefits for black folks, especially those in diverse areas

-------------------------------
If life is stupendous one cannot also demand that it should be easy. - Robert Musil

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
scout
Charter member
44572 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 02:34 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
21. "i sense that with just about every black man i ever accompany"
In response to Reply # 13


  

          

years ago me and my ex and our son were driving up pch to morro bay from pasadena. for some reason, i decided i wanted to go visit this big ass rock in the ocean that i'd seen in a magazine. my car was in the shop so we had a rental car. i think it was a dodge charger or some other fast car. anyway, about halfway there we got pulled over for speeding. the ex was driving. i was in the passenger seat reading. white male officer asked us where we were going. i told him. my ex said very little, was very stiff. officer asked me why we were going there. i'm sure my face was like this 0_o but i told him. he looked us over. my ex was sweating bullets because he drives for a living, has a commercial license. officer chastises him a bit, saying he could lose his license, and then let us go. the whole rest of the trip was spiritless. on the way back my ex made me drive. maybe i'm reading too much into it but i think he was shook over more than just getting a ticket or a suspended license.

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

ambient1
Member since May 23rd 2007
41077 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 02:25 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
14. "everyday....can't be 'myself' in at all times"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

and it took me till my 30's to get it

and even now that I get it...it still doesn't sit well wit me

=======================================
Coolin...

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
scout
Charter member
44572 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 02:40 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
23. "it doesn't sit well with me either."
In response to Reply # 14


  

          

hence this post. it bothers the fuck out of me, in fact. it affects black women who love black men, raise black men, need black men.

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

rdhull
Charter member
32181 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 02:25 PM

Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
15. "The answer right below me"
In response to Reply # 0
Mon Mar-23-15 02:30 PM by rdhull

  

          

nm

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

BrooklynWHAT
Member since Jun 15th 2007
81085 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 02:29 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
17. "stifled? no. frustrated? yeah."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

<--- Big Baller World Order

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
scout
Charter member
44572 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 02:41 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
25. "frustrated how?"
In response to Reply # 17


  

          

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

        
BrooklynWHAT
Member since Jun 15th 2007
81085 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 03:07 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
41. "it just feels like i have a lot of limits on me"
In response to Reply # 25
Mon Mar-23-15 03:08 PM by BrooklynWHAT

  

          

socially and professionally. like i have to approach everything perfectly to get a standard outcome.

there's just no room for error or to breathe.

<--- Big Baller World Order

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

            
scout
Charter member
44572 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 03:09 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
42. "i wish okp had the thumbs up like facebook, lol. "
In response to Reply # 41
Mon Mar-23-15 03:10 PM by scout

  

          

do you push against the limits or have you given up?

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                
BrooklynWHAT
Member since Jun 15th 2007
81085 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 03:32 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
55. "too young to give up."
In response to Reply # 42


  

          

sadly i have seen folks younger than me already resigned to their current situation.

<--- Big Baller World Order

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

Buddy_Gilapagos
Charter member
45987 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 02:34 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
20. "Being a black man has only been a positive for me. No Lie. "
In response to Reply # 0


  

          


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson


"One of the most important things in life is what Judge Learned Hand described as 'that ever-gnawing inner doubt as to whether you're

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
spades
Member since Mar 22nd 2006
42226 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 02:40 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
24. "Honestly, I've only RECENTLY seen it effect my advancement."
In response to Reply # 20


  

          

********************************
http://www.last.fm/user/Nspades

Get Out The Room!
http://getouttheroom.podomatic.com
@fakewilliamkatt
www.wickedradionetwork.com

"The world is changed by your example, not by your opinion" - Paulo Coehlo

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

        
scout
Charter member
44572 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 02:56 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
34. "how?? this really has me curious. so you saying being a black"
In response to Reply # 24


  

          

man, specifically, has its perks?

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

            
spades
Member since Mar 22nd 2006
42226 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 04:14 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
68. "oh it ABSOLUTELY has it perks."
In response to Reply # 34


  

          

As a black man, in an increasingly female and non black industry - I stand out. If I'm good at all at my job and reasonably charming/attractive ....

I promote easy - ppl are looking for someone like me. Or at least they have, however, the transition from the middle to the top is getting rocky.

I'm currently looking for ways to break into some of those clubs that will ease my entry - but once you get here, it's more than just volunteering or networking, the clubs are invite only. You need access - that shit ain't easy.

********************************
http://www.last.fm/user/Nspades

Get Out The Room!
http://getouttheroom.podomatic.com
@fakewilliamkatt
www.wickedradionetwork.com

"The world is changed by your example, not by your opinion" - Paulo Coehlo

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                
Buddy_Gilapagos
Charter member
45987 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 07:10 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
93. "This is exactly right. "
In response to Reply # 68


  

          

Being a black man has not been an impediment to getting me within striking distance of were I want to be. But that last mile, that barrier, is very much a white boys club.



>As a black man, in an increasingly female and non black
>industry - I stand out. If I'm good at all at my job and
>reasonably charming/attractive ....
>
>I promote easy - ppl are looking for someone like me. Or at
>least they have, however, the transition from the middle to
>the top is getting rocky.
>
>I'm currently looking for ways to break into some of those
>clubs that will ease my entry - but once you get here, it's
>more than just volunteering or networking, the clubs are
>invite only. You need access - that shit ain't easy.


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson


"One of the most important things in life is what Judge Learned Hand described as 'that ever-gnawing inner doubt as to whether you're

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
scout
Charter member
44572 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 02:42 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
26. "how has being a black man benefitted you?"
In response to Reply # 20


  

          

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

        
double negative
Member since Dec 14th 2007
21796 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 03:36 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
56. "this has been documented, bin has talked about it. "
In response to Reply # 26


  

          

cant remember the source

***********************************************************
https://soundcloud.com/swageyph/yph-die-with-me

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

        
Buddy_Gilapagos
Charter member
45987 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 06:32 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
92. "I've benefited from Affirmative Action. Also no matter where I go"
In response to Reply # 26


  

          

I can always find common ground with the other black person there.

Like college, I went to a PWI. Everyone arrives on campus not knowing anyone. When I arrived on campus all I had to do was make a bee line to the black folks and I had an instant community. I remember my white roommates not having that and having to find a community if they ever found one at all.

Like spades said I also am an attractive candidate for jobs because brothers like me are rare. I think the last boss who hired me hired me because he wanted to seem cool hiring a black person.


I grew up in a black community so I never had run in with cops or white folks disrespecting me.

My academic record is impeccable so I don't think I ever really had people questioning my intellect.

I am 5'8" on only weigh a buck fifty and light skin so people rarely find me physically intimidating.

My parents are 60s radical types so I never had any doubt about identity or that black is beautiful.

I've been really lucky.




**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson


"One of the most important things in life is what Judge Learned Hand described as 'that ever-gnawing inner doubt as to whether you're

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
double negative
Member since Dec 14th 2007
21796 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 03:31 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
53. "this is also something i agree with"
In response to Reply # 20


  

          

***********************************************************
https://soundcloud.com/swageyph/yph-die-with-me

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
Madvillain 626
Member since Apr 25th 2006
10018 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 03:57 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
62. "even in finding housing / apartments?"
In response to Reply # 20


  

          

-------------------------------
If life is stupendous one cannot also demand that it should be easy. - Robert Musil

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

        
Buddy_Gilapagos
Charter member
45987 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 06:22 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
90. "I can't think of it ever being a problem in that regard."
In response to Reply # 62


  

          

>


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson


"One of the most important things in life is what Judge Learned Hand described as 'that ever-gnawing inner doubt as to whether you're

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

kevlar skully
Member since Mar 13th 2007
6049 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 02:45 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
28. "Yes, all kinds of social limits on how I "should" be "
In response to Reply # 0


  

          



  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
scout
Charter member
44572 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 02:58 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
36. "not fitting stereotypes? do you sense that people are"
In response to Reply # 28


  

          

disappointed or relieved that you do/don't fit into the box they've carved out for you? i'm sure it's annoying, either way

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

        
kevlar skully
Member since Mar 13th 2007
6049 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 03:18 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
46. "People that have a box for me are disappointed I'm not in it, usually "
In response to Reply # 36


  

          



  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

            
scout
Charter member
44572 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 03:26 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
50. "does that disappoint you?"
In response to Reply # 46


  

          

i used to love disappointing people. now i'm more often like "b*tch FOH! shit is old!"

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                
kevlar skully
Member since Mar 13th 2007
6049 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 03:40 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
58. "It usually manifest itself as an attack on me not being "enough" someway..."
In response to Reply # 50


  

          


I can't care too much about people's expectations, just don't attack me cause my being doesn't agree with your preconceptions


I'm almost 28 so I'm comfortable with being me, It's just when being me makes other people uncomfortable & they try to attack me

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

Deadzombie
Member since Aug 21st 2008
13358 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 03:06 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
40. "i don't but I know my brothers do. "
In response to Reply # 0


          

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
scout
Charter member
44572 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 03:26 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
51. "how are you different from your brothers?"
In response to Reply # 40


  

          

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

SoWhat
Charter member
154163 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 03:17 PM

Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
45. "no."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

fuck you.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
scout
Charter member
44572 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 03:23 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
49. "do you think it's different for gay men, tho?"
In response to Reply # 45


  

          

maybe gay men are seen as less of a threat cause yall don't gaf about white women's vajayjay's? or yall are perceived as safe somehow?

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

        
Madvillain 626
Member since Apr 25th 2006
10018 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 03:45 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
60. "Yeah, I want sowhat to elaborate cuz..."
In response to Reply # 49


  

          

Something I've noticed is that gay black men seem to be more...i dunno, free? You would think having to deal with being black AND gay in a heternormative society would be a burden..but nah. All the gay black men I've seen in LA seem real content.

I think Black America has a pretty conservative and limiting ideal of manhood, which places constrictions on what we can do, enjoy, where we can go, what music we can like, etc.

Black gay men are free from that, which must be pretty fucking liberating.

-------------------------------
If life is stupendous one cannot also demand that it should be easy. - Robert Musil

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

            
tariqhu
Charter member
15827 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 03:56 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy listClick to send message via AOL IM
61. "all speculation on my part, but"
In response to Reply # 60


          

You would think having to deal with
>being black AND gay in a heternormative society would be a
>burden..but nah. All the gay black men I've seen in LA seem
>real content.

>I think Black America has a pretty conservative and limiting
>ideal of manhood, which places constrictions on what we can
>do, enjoy, where we can go, what music we can like, etc.

I would think this is why they're 'more free'. they've already fought the family and larger black community. so even less fucks given to the bigger american society.

Y'all buy those labels, I was born supreme

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                
SoWhat
Charter member
154163 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 04:48 PM

Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
83. "i do feel that."
In response to Reply # 61


  

          

but i think the black man thing hasn't held me back b/c...i just haven't let it.

i didn't have bad experiences as a shorty that i'd blame on race. though i learned much about the history of racism and race prejudice in school and at church and at home i didn't internalize that stuff and apply it to me. i heard what my parents said about needing to be 2x as good as white folks to get half as far and i guess b/c i did as well in school as any white kid w/o really having to try too hard i never really knew or worried about what they meant w/that. and then i went to a PWI (one of the best in the nation) and got along w/white students and was accepted by enough of them that i never felt ostracized due to my race. and i did well enough in class and where i didn't i didn't blame it on race. after college i was out in the working world and for my first job i was hired by the richest black person on the planet (just about). i guess there i DID feel that i'd be better off if i'd been white - specifically a white woman. b/c those were the folks who got the promotions there mostly b/c most of the viewers on that tv show were white women and the execs wanted the production staff to mirror the viewers. so yeah, i felt my being a black man held me back there. and i left that job. meanwhile, i was out and about dating and living and having fun and i had plenty friends and never felt like i couldn't make them b/c i was black. however, at times when i was dating i did notice some dudes i wanted didn't want me back and that was b/c i'm black. but that was only some of the dudes, i didn't feel like that meant very much. at my next job i wasn't harmed by being black. i chose a career as a lawyer and i don't think being black hurt me in law school. if i struggled in law school it was for reasons other than my race, i say. now as a lawyer there are times when i get frustrated w/clients who don't trust me b/c i'm black. that sux. but then other clients trust B/C i'm black. so i dunno. the jury is still out on that one.

overall in answer to the question i'd say no, being black hasn't held me back.

and i still say no to the suggestion that being gay has helped ease the black thing. are there ppl who treat me differently socially b/c i'm black and gay? sure. there are ppl who think the gay thing makes me extra cool along w/the black thing. it's silly and i lol @ them when they think i'm lol'ing w/them. but whatever - when i can i use it to get what i want. but that's rare. it hasn't helped me in any meaningful ways.

fuck you.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                    
tariqhu
Charter member
15827 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 06:07 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy listClick to send message via AOL IM
89. "this is the key"
In response to Reply # 83


          

>but i think the black man thing hasn't held me back b/c...i
>just haven't let it.
>
same here. I'm black and there's no excaping it. I got a crazy black people ass name, but shit, that's all part of me. it doesn't stop me from doing things to move forward.

>i didn't have bad experiences as a shorty that i'd blame on
>race. though i learned much about the history of racism and
>race prejudice in school and at church and at home i didn't
>internalize that stuff and apply it to me. i heard what my
>parents said about needing to be 2x as good as white folks to
>get half as far and i guess b/c i did as well in school as any
>white kid w/o really having to try too hard i never really
>knew or worried about what they meant w/that. and then i went
>to a PWI (one of the best in the nation) and got along w/white
>students and was accepted by enough of them that i never felt
>ostracized due to my race. and i did well enough in class and
>where i didn't i didn't blame it on race. after college i was
>out in the working world and for my first job i was hired by
>the richest black person on the planet (just about). i guess
>there i DID feel that i'd be better off if i'd been white -
>specifically a white woman. b/c those were the folks who got
>the promotions there mostly b/c most of the viewers on that tv
>show were white women and the execs wanted the production
>staff to mirror the viewers. so yeah, i felt my being a black
>man held me back there. and i left that job. meanwhile, i
>was out and about dating and living and having fun and i had
>plenty friends and never felt like i couldn't make them b/c i
>was black. however, at times when i was dating i did notice
>some dudes i wanted didn't want me back and that was b/c i'm
>black. but that was only some of the dudes, i didn't feel
>like that meant very much. at my next job i wasn't harmed by
>being black. i chose a career as a lawyer and i don't think
>being black hurt me in law school. if i struggled in law
>school it was for reasons other than my race, i say. now as a
>lawyer there are times when i get frustrated w/clients who
>don't trust me b/c i'm black. that sux. but then other
>clients trust B/C i'm black. so i dunno. the jury is still
>out on that one.
>
>overall in answer to the question i'd say no, being black
>hasn't held me back.
>
>and i still say no to the suggestion that being gay has helped
>ease the black thing. are there ppl who treat me differently
>socially b/c i'm black and gay? sure. there are ppl who
>think the gay thing makes me extra cool along w/the black
>thing. it's silly and i lol @ them when they think i'm
>lol'ing w/them. but whatever - when i can i use it to get
>what i want. but that's rare. it hasn't helped me in any
>meaningful ways.

props. thanks for the thorough explanation.

Y'all buy those labels, I was born supreme

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

            
scout
Charter member
44572 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 04:03 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
63. "or any gay okp."
In response to Reply # 60


  

          

But I think its bigger than how black america perceives gay men. White america places them in a different box, too. They're stereotyped in another way

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                
SoWhat
Charter member
154163 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 04:39 PM

Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
77. "OR MAYBE i don't feel like being a black man has hampered me"
In response to Reply # 63


  

          

b/c it fucking hasn't for reasons that have SHIT to do w/me being gay.

but you motherfuckers don't ever want to explore that shit. it's always about the gay thing w/you ppl.

god damn.

i can't.

fuck you.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

            
spades
Member since Mar 22nd 2006
42226 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 04:09 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
65. "Dan Savage talks about this all the time."
In response to Reply # 60


  

          

To paraphase him, Being Hetero-Sexual in America is a lot about proving yourself, all day every day. "I like beer, I like boobs, I like sports, America, pussy, fuck yeah!!!!"

Eventhough we're not always like that. Not all of us like beer, sports, america (we all like boobs tho)

He posits that Gay men may be a little more free than their hetero brethren because they cease to play that game, they simple are what they are.

Now, this is from the perspective of a rich white male - gay or not - that's gonna change the lens.

********************************
http://www.last.fm/user/Nspades

Get Out The Room!
http://getouttheroom.podomatic.com
@fakewilliamkatt
www.wickedradionetwork.com

"The world is changed by your example, not by your opinion" - Paulo Coehlo

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                
SoWhat
Charter member
154163 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 04:38 PM

Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
76. "i am so sick of you ppl."
In response to Reply # 65


  

          

too through.

fuck you.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                    
spades
Member since Mar 22nd 2006
42226 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 04:55 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
85. "*BLINK**BLINK*"
In response to Reply # 76


  

          

I'm describing Dan Savage's description of a phenomena - and I qualified it with that.

If you gon hate on someone, hate on him!

********************************
http://www.last.fm/user/Nspades

Get Out The Room!
http://getouttheroom.podomatic.com
@fakewilliamkatt
www.wickedradionetwork.com

"The world is changed by your example, not by your opinion" - Paulo Coehlo

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                        
SoWhat
Charter member
154163 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 05:26 PM

Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
88. "Living in this gay bubble where all of my world is super gay"
In response to Reply # 85


  

          

and I just cannot understand anything about heterosexuals I shoukd know that you were only quoting Savage not adopting his statement in yet another of your attempts to dismiss a disagreement in our opinions bc I'm gay. My bad.

fuck you.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

        
SoWhat
Charter member
154163 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 04:37 PM

Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
75. "well it helps that i duck walk and dip every 5 steps."
In response to Reply # 49
Mon Mar-23-15 04:51 PM by SoWhat

  

          

and i wear glitter face paint all the time plus i never say 'yes' i only say 'YAAAASSS, bitch'. so, you know, ppl be knowing i suck dicks like a pro and so yeah they don't treat me like a BLACK man but instead like a black? man-ish.

---

fuck you ppl. i shoulda never told you niggas i'm gay b/c as soon as i post about ***ANY*** experience that's unlike y'all's you pull the fucking gay card. so i'm constantly having to explain to you motherfuckers that there could be several reasons why my experience isn't like yours that have __SHIT__ to do w/me being gay. but me being gay is all you fuckers can see. it's all i am to you - a flaming ass dick champion faggot. nothing else.

fuck y'all.

fuck you.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

            
scout
Charter member
44572 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 04:46 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
82. "you are not a flaming ass dick champion faggot in my eyes"
In response to Reply # 75


  

          

Please calm defuck down. I'm not a man or gay so forgive me if I don't know what that's like. My bad

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                
SoWhat
Charter member
154163 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 04:49 PM

Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
84. "i know, i know."
In response to Reply # 82


  

          

it's just...around here like i said any time i express a different opinion or have had a different experience the response is typically some attempt to dismiss me or my experience or viewpoint b/c i'm gay.

i'm fucking sick of that bullshit.

fuck you.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                    
scout
Charter member
44572 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 05:02 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
86. "I ain't been on here since December tho. I come in peace, I swear."
In response to Reply # 84


  

          

I had no idea these assholes have been doing you that way.

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                        
SoWhat
Charter member
154163 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 05:13 PM

Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
87. "I believe you."
In response to Reply # 86


  

          

And my bad for snapping - I am real sick of that ad hominem bullshit but it comes with the territory around here. Ppl will continue bending over backward to disregard me bc I'm gay. All I can do is pray for them.

fuck you.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

            
2.tears.in.a.bucket
Member since Sep 04th 2009
6185 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 07:43 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
94. "LOL. thank you, sir."
In response to Reply # 75


  

          

.

♚♚♚♚

#BYLUG >>> https://goo.gl/1ooFp6

♚♚♚♚

screamin' mothafuck a 12 /
bitches ain't shit /
cops ain't neither /
they huntin' my people /

- i. rashad

♚♚♚♚

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

atruhead
Charter member
84993 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 03:21 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
48. "it depends on how you mean."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

generally speaking, no. I have an okay day job that Im rewarded for doing well at

I live within my means in a two income household, so money isn't a big issue though we cant afford to miss a paycheck yet

but in creative pursuits there's a ceiling for me as a black man who doesn't kiss ass or play the game well.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

vee-lover
Member since Jul 30th 2007
20388 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 03:38 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
57. "Not At All "
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

grassrootsphilosopher

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

blkprinceMD05
Member since Nov 29th 2004
41236 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 04:07 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
64. "nope, beyond not being the millionaire I feel I deserve to be "
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

And being able to do and buy all the stuff i would as a millionaire

I keep advancing in my career and still have plenty of room for growth, pretty happy and have more freedom at work. I think it helps that I work with a lot of Blk ppl, my boss is a Blk male, his boss is a Blk male and even higher up is a few more Blk guys, not to mention plenty Blk woman

prototype

stand ur ground, believe in urself,
believe in love, prepare urself for love, remove the negativity from ur life, and accept the love u kno u deserve

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
scout
Charter member
44572 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 04:13 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
67. "what do you think of reply #65?"
In response to Reply # 64


  

          

True for black gay men too?

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

        
blkprinceMD05
Member since Nov 29th 2004
41236 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 04:35 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
74. "that hasn't been my experience but it makes sense"
In response to Reply # 67


  

          

I've unfortunately seen "stereotypically" gay men at my job taken less seriously for exhibiting those qualities by some. there are gay Blk men in leadership positions at my job (I'm one of them) and some are very noticeably gay but at the same time I've heard comments about them or seem them somewhat dismissed ( not only by Blk higher ups, but Wht ones too). However one of the very high up Blk guys is noticibly gay IMO and he's a shot caller

I don't kno about having to say u like beer or sports or anything to have to get ahead but being assertive and confident definitely helps. Those aren't exclusively make traits to me tho.

prototype

stand ur ground, believe in urself,
believe in love, prepare urself for love, remove the negativity from ur life, and accept the love u kno u deserve

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

Shade
Member since Mar 31st 2007
4258 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 04:31 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
72. "Used to "
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

But at this point going on 26 I couldn't care less about anyone's approval anymore especially caucasian people. I know our history and theirs and I'm on the verge of getting my LLC up and running and no longer working for anyone. If my presence scares and gives caucasians or anyone else a heart attack then that's not my problem. And it honestly feels great.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

tomjohn29
Member since Oct 18th 2004
16534 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 04:43 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy listClick to send message via AOL IM
80. "i have never had it work against me"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

______________________________________

Navem nu, cuando sol
Tutu nu, vondo nos nu
Vita em, no continous non
Nos nu ekta nos sepe ta, amen

When the sun shades the ship
We sweat and life is not safe
To swim or to touch not
When we unite we hedge amen

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

Starks dunked on Bulls
Member since Dec 07th 2011
12028 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 04:46 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
81. "Where did all the females go on this site?"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

It's like only like 3 females post on this site.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
DavidHasselhoff
Charter member
11432 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 06:28 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
91. "Did you mean to ask that here?"
In response to Reply # 81


          

>It's like only like 3 females post on this site.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

        
select_from_where
Member since Jan 03rd 2011
4337 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 08:02 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
97. "Was just going to say, bad post placement "
In response to Reply # 91


  

          

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
69410 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 07:55 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
95. "no"
In response to Reply # 0


          

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

Starbaby Jones
Member since Mar 08th 2003
5034 posts
Mon Mar-23-15 10:19 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy listClick to send message via AOL IM
98. "Nope, a solid education and proper preparation for the world..."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

mitigated most of the risks that I've seen many cats fall victim to. My family ingrained in me the principle that discrimination is no excuse for not achieving. So, as it stands, I'm 33 and I've been able to have 3 full-on professional careers. I never let anything stop me from making the transition to pursue what I wanted to do. That's not to say I don't have to work harder in a lot of ways, but success is very possible.

http://soundcloud.com/forestbrooks

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

2.tears.in.a.bucket
Member since Sep 04th 2009
6185 posts
Tue Mar-24-15 06:03 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
99. "hell yeah! these peckerwoods don't want no nigga to win. "
In response to Reply # 0
Tue Mar-24-15 06:20 AM by 2.tears.in.a.bucket

  

          

bitch in the grocery store eyes liked'ta jump out her head when she looked up to find me casually strolling thru the aisle.

and ain't no gathering place for niggas that don't whole-heartedly accept jesus christ as they lord & savior.

and whatever hell your education / fighting tooth & nail has helped you to narrowly avoid -- your kinfolk is CATCHING IT -- every.day. shit's stressful.

s'all good tho. the race ain't given to the swift.

*shrugs*

why lie?

♚♚♚♚

#BYLUG >>> https://goo.gl/1ooFp6

♚♚♚♚

screamin' mothafuck a 12 /
bitches ain't shit /
cops ain't neither /
they huntin' my people /

- i. rashad

♚♚♚♚

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

mistermaxxx08
Member since Dec 31st 2010
16076 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 02:24 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
100. "heck Yes In AMERIKKKA"
In response to Reply # 0


          

because only New Black is in denial. how you gonna watch these news and watch the cops killing black folks left and right, dissing your president, discrimination legally with housing, and other issues with the bank, etc...


i got paper, jewelry,bills paid,etc.. and folks stay hating period.

its everywhere. ain't nothing changed. these hating butt turkeys never let you forget whats up.

even with money and a nice ride, clothes, and vibe somebody gonna remind you.

i always pray and drink water. because these racist turkeys will drive you crazy

mistermaxxx R.Kelly, Michael Jackson,Stevie wonder,Rick James,Marvin Gaye,El Debarge, Barry WHite Lionel RIchie,Isleys EWF,Lady T.,Kid creole and coconuts,the crusaders,kc sunshine band,bee gees,jW,sd,NE,JB

Miami Heat, New York Yankees,buffalo bills

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

-DJ R-Tistic-
Member since Nov 06th 2008
51978 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 03:47 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy listClick to send message via AOL IM
101. "I surely did as a youth, but not as much now"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

I grew up in a way that was hard to walk a fine line. Went to Private schools that were maybe 20% Black, yet those Blacks were all from Black neighborhoods just like I was. And I had semi-strict educated parents...so it felt like I had to please too many different people.

I felt like I had to be hood enough to not be bothered by the Blacks, because they would strike ANYONE who seemed to be a target. Whether I'm at Fox Hills and it's gangbangers eyeing me bc of my attire, or it's Blacks from Ladera Heights at school judging the shoes I wore. Yet, had to be "smart enough" to prove to the White kids that I was as smart as them, and smarter...and that I wasn't just a hood kid or athlete that was able to cheat my way through.

------------------------------

50+ FREE Mixes on www.DJR-Tistic.com!

Twitter and Instagram - @DJ_RTistic

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

Lobby General Discussion topic #12759626 Previous topic | Next topic
Powered by DCForum+ Version 1.25
Copyright © DCScripts.com