i grew up in an all white community (i am white) and really only knew black folks through basketball camp in the summers. i guess i was pretty naive back then and always thought that even though i went to an all white school that there wasn't any racist mentality breeding in my community because i had never heard any. so when i went to college and i ended up having quite a few black friends and usually hung out with them and their friends. a lot of times when i would be out at the clubs, i would be socializing with the black folks i knew around campus. one night i went out with a couple of my white friends (two guys) from high school and i ran into a few black acquaintances, introduced everybody and everything seemed cool -- i had no reason to think that it wasn't. anyway, the next day i'm at the park with the same 2 white friends and they basically tell me that i better not be fucking black dudes and that they would kick my ass if they found out that i was. i was really blown away because these guys were like brothers to me and i was only 18 at the time, so this reaction really confused me. they really made me feel like my associations were wrong. the funny thing is that they assumed that i was screwing black guys because i had black friends. and as i get older and wiser i see that their assumption is a common one (held by white and black folks) directed towards white women. my choice in boyfriends or even just sexual partners is based on a much higher level of intellect, spirituality and strength, not on skin color. and i've been discriminated against by a lot of white guys who know or think they know of my experiences with men outside of my race. so i guess you could say that there is racism by association within the white community. when will my people stop self-destructing?