man, how can i remeber the first one? have i gotten it from all sides, from day one? after 23 years i'm tired of deciephering the actions and words of other people. but the experience i remember happened when i was at a predonminately white, private Catholic school (I was black, and not Catholic). i got invited to Betsy's birthday party but couldn't go. she happened to be my best friend and much shorter than me, the tallest girl in kindergarten. (these mis-matched combinations are the basis of my ENTIRE grade-school - highschool experience, btw.) so my mom took me to her house, after the party was over, and i gave her a card and gift. then i found out she was leaving (the school? the state?) and i wouldn't (and haven't) see her again. It wasn't tramatic or anything, just sad 'cause my parents were the ones saying 'you're not wanted there, so don't go there'. i guess that's the way they tried to protect me from racism i'd inevitably recieve (and come to expect) from other people; variations of that line got used more than a few times.

an-g