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Subject: "How do you clear your mind & focus when something upsetting " Previous topic | Next topic
ndibs
Member since Aug 06th 2012
12715 posts
Wed Jan-28-15 09:50 PM

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"How do you clear your mind & focus when something upsetting "
Wed Jan-28-15 10:12 PM by ndibs

          

Happens in the middle of the work day?

I had a bit of an upsetting conversation midday. It wasn't that upsetting but he didn't get back to me which was upsetting. I just realized he tried calling me but I was on a phone call and didn't even get a ring from his call. But I was so upset for a few hours, I couldn't get any work done. There's a 7 hour time difference so there was a small window to speak and it closed without the issue being resolved.

I could work but I realized I was fucking up and so called it quits, just did the minimum and called it a day. I didn't want to ship a package to Germany that should have gone to Indiana or do something similarly dumb. Sometimes I won't leave my house if I'm in a bad mood or preoccupied with something bc driving distracted scares the crap out of me.

Anyway, how do you clear your mind and focus when you're upset?

  

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Topic Outline
Subject Author Message Date ID
Go out with a friend or on a date.
Jan 28th 2015
1
I mean when you're working and need to focus
Jan 28th 2015
3
      i slow down
Jan 29th 2015
19
if @ work: I used to pretend my water bottle was a bottle of vodka...
Jan 28th 2015
2
I wanted to drink, but I had to drive...
Jan 28th 2015
7
take a walk
Jan 28th 2015
4
Is this about a relationship or something at work?
Jan 28th 2015
5
The conversation we didn't finish wasn't work related...
Jan 28th 2015
6
Meditation, via intentional breathing and/or mindful walk
Jan 28th 2015
8
Any links or book suggestions for meditation?
Jan 28th 2015
13
      One of Thich Nhat Hanh's recent books
Jan 29th 2015
33
I have several methods depending on the situation.
Jan 28th 2015
9
RE: How do you clear your mind & focus when something upsetting
Jan 28th 2015
10
Lol.
Jan 28th 2015
11
If I'm at work I play this and breathe with it...
Jan 28th 2015
12
thanks. i just added that breathing video to my iphone
Jan 29th 2015
15
I'd call moms.
Jan 29th 2015
14
Go for a walk around the block.
Jan 29th 2015
16
i go for a walk
Jan 29th 2015
17
anytime my day is going shitty I pump up the volume on the radio
Jan 29th 2015
18
Take a walk-- chill somewhere for maybe 20 to 30 min
Jan 29th 2015
20
if you don't indulge in mary juana...
Jan 29th 2015
21
see, when I used to get high...
Jan 29th 2015
24
      girl how you been???
Jan 29th 2015
30
Take a good dump or nap.
Jan 29th 2015
22
I repress that shit.......
Jan 29th 2015
23
.
Jan 29th 2015
25
I do my best to charge it to the game cuz...
Jan 29th 2015
26
sex. hoop. music. workouts.
Jan 29th 2015
27
master your emotions or self-compassion meditation
Jan 29th 2015
28
go for a walk, which turns into retail therapy.
Jan 29th 2015
29
Stop trying to control things. Detach.
Jan 29th 2015
31
I watch Turquoise Jeep videos.
Jan 29th 2015
32
Take deep breaths, get a snack
Jan 29th 2015
34

Teknontheou
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Wed Jan-28-15 10:02 PM

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1. "Go out with a friend or on a date."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

Something that gets you talking about other stuff with another person.

I just went through a bout of that this weekend.

  

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ndibs
Member since Aug 06th 2012
12715 posts
Wed Jan-28-15 10:09 PM

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3. "I mean when you're working and need to focus "
In response to Reply # 1


          

Drugs, alcohol, socializing, etc are all obvious easy distractions to replace what's distracting you. I mean when you don't want to be distracted. When you want to be clear headed and productive.

  

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lfresh
Member since Jun 18th 2002
92693 posts
Thu Jan-29-15 10:30 AM

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19. "i slow down"
In response to Reply # 3


  

          

if it abslutely need to get done?

i slow down
check and recheck
create a list if i have to
become very exacting

i get a bit absorbed after that


~~~~
When you are born, you cry, and the world rejoices. Live so that when you die, you rejoice, and the world cries.
~~~~
You cannot hate people for their own good.

  

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Coprolalia
Member since Oct 17th 2008
637 posts
Wed Jan-28-15 10:08 PM

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2. "if @ work: I used to pretend my water bottle was a bottle of vodka..."
In response to Reply # 0


          

and put some earphones in and listen to whatever music set me right.

Every sip was a shot. While it had me using the bathroom more often it at least relaxed me a little.


"Fuck this shit man"

  

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ndibs
Member since Aug 06th 2012
12715 posts
Wed Jan-28-15 10:36 PM

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7. "I wanted to drink, but I had to drive..."
In response to Reply # 2


          

Some packages to the post office.

Pretend drinking is an interesting technique though...

  

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GirlChild
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Wed Jan-28-15 10:11 PM

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4. "take a walk"
In response to Reply # 0
Wed Jan-28-15 10:37 PM by GirlChild

  

          

let out a long good cry
and i treat myself to something

also, running helps for me, but that's not practical at work, so do the walking

i've been dealing with family shit since oct and it was so upsetting that it was really distracting me. i have just tried to throw myself into working, it's really the only thing that makes me forget that i'm upset.

  

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Meadow
Member since May 05th 2012
1160 posts
Wed Jan-28-15 10:12 PM

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5. "Is this about a relationship or something at work?"
In response to Reply # 0


          


Either way I focus on the fact that I am at work and can't be breaking down all willy nilly. Then I go outside and take a walk on a ten to fifteen minute break and focus on the scenery. By the time I come back I am ready to finish the work assigned. Never fails me.

  

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ndibs
Member since Aug 06th 2012
12715 posts
Wed Jan-28-15 10:20 PM

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6. "The conversation we didn't finish wasn't work related..."
In response to Reply # 5
Wed Jan-28-15 10:20 PM by ndibs

          

It was personal. The time difference means personal conversations midday sometimes happen, though I prefer they didn't. But 4pm-6pm when I have the bulk of my work done is pretty darn late there - midnightish. So it happens.

>Either way I focus on the fact that I am at work and can't be
>breaking down all willy nilly. Then I go outside and take a
>walk on a ten to fifteen minute break and focus on the
>scenery. By the time I come back I am ready to finish the work
>assigned. Never fails me.

  

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rawsouthpaw
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Wed Jan-28-15 10:55 PM

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8. "Meditation, via intentional breathing and/or mindful walk"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

I needed to do so myself recently but passed. This is a good reminder I need to find ways to incorporate sessions during the workday, like at lunch.

  

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ndibs
Member since Aug 06th 2012
12715 posts
Wed Jan-28-15 11:46 PM

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13. "Any links or book suggestions for meditation? "
In response to Reply # 8


          

>I needed to do so myself recently but passed. This is a good
>reminder I need to find ways to incorporate sessions during
>the workday, like at lunch.

  

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rawsouthpaw
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Thu Jan-29-15 05:57 PM

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33. "One of Thich Nhat Hanh's recent books"
In response to Reply # 13
Thu Jan-29-15 06:03 PM by rawsouthpaw

  

          

that I picked up myself for when I was at my last workplace:
http://www.amazon.com/Work-Find-Meaning-Each-Hour/dp/1937006204

although there are many this is obviously most directly relevant. His story is amazing too as a peace activist that MLK nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize. You might look up his talks on youtube where he is also verbally teaching one on how to apply Zen mindfulness/meditation via sitting, walking, or other activities. I consider his approach critical to me not going apeshit haha
The most basic way to put the sitting version of Zen meditation is being in some type of comfortable position and breathing very long and slow for whatever amount of time like 15-30 minutes, focusing completely only on the sensation of the air entering and leaving your chest and nose/mouth no matter what randomness tries to inevitably clutter your mind causing the stress. Mastery of this practice means it can be done almost anywhere and can create that peace on a regular basis in this moment that we are always chasing at some other time/place/method.

  

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PoppaGeorge
Member since Nov 07th 2004
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Wed Jan-28-15 11:00 PM

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9. "I have several methods depending on the situation. "
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

1. mild annoyance - I might shrug it off or turn on some downtempo shit in my headphones.

2. Pissed - I might meditate for a moment and chant.

3. I'm finna fuck you up - I'mma walk over to my liquor cabinet, pick something out, and have a shot or two.

working from home has that privilege.
---------------------------

forcing myself to actually respond to you is like bathing in ebola virus. - Binlahab

Like there is stupid, and then there is you, and then there is dead. - VAsBestBBW

R.I.P. Disco D

  

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Tiggerific
Member since May 24th 2007
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Wed Jan-28-15 11:27 PM

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10. "RE: How do you clear your mind & focus when something upsetting "
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

Go to a kickboxing or boxing class and punch and kick the shit out of a 250 lb bag.

"We don't make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents" - Bob Ross

"I'm wearing a MSU Tshirt because I went to MSU, you are wearing a UM Tshirt because you went to Walmart!" -unknown.

http://bjsquirrelchronicles.blogspot.com

  

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ndibs
Member since Aug 06th 2012
12715 posts
Wed Jan-28-15 11:44 PM

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11. "Lol. "
In response to Reply # 10


          

>Go to a kickboxing or boxing class and punch and kick the
>shit out of a 250 lb bag.

  

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Phenomenality
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Wed Jan-28-15 11:45 PM

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12. "If I'm at work I play this and breathe with it... "
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

lol

http://youtu.be/_SRD2zFXwio?list=FL9vGyXiTA_wYoQmoF08SMNw

seriously tho.. 60 seconds of deep breathing makes a world of difference.

if I'm at home.. i roll up a mental vacation then clean the shit outta my house. like music blasting, hard and fast cleaning.




...

Vee is I and I am She

...

http://twitter.com/#!/Phenomenality
http://instagram.com/therealphenomenality
http://phenomenality.tumblr.com/archive

  

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ndibs
Member since Aug 06th 2012
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Thu Jan-29-15 10:08 AM

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15. "thanks. i just added that breathing video to my iphone"
In response to Reply # 12


          

home screen.

cleaning is an excellent suggestion. it forces you to shift the focus from inside your head to your physical environment AND physical body.

thanks

  

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Deadzombie
Member since Aug 21st 2008
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Thu Jan-29-15 12:29 AM

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14. "I'd call moms. "
In response to Reply # 0


          

  

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TheAlbionist
Member since Jul 04th 2011
3306 posts
Thu Jan-29-15 10:11 AM

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16. "Go for a walk around the block."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

Most important thing is to shift your perspective... there are very few things that are worth putting yourself in a bad mood for. Occasionally you need to take a step back so you can see your own over-reaction for what it was.




>Happens in the middle of the work day?
>
>I had a bit of an upsetting conversation midday. It wasn't
>that upsetting but he didn't get back to me which was
>upsetting. I just realized he tried calling me but I was on a
>phone call and didn't even get a ring from his call. But I
>was so upset for a few hours, I couldn't get any work done.
>There's a 7 hour time difference so there was a small window
>to speak and it closed without the issue being resolved.
>
>I could work but I realized I was fucking up and so called it
>quits, just did the minimum and called it a day. I didn't
>want to ship a package to Germany that should have gone to
>Indiana or do something similarly dumb. Sometimes I won't
>leave my house if I'm in a bad mood or preoccupied with
>something bc driving distracted scares the crap out of me.
>
>Anyway, how do you clear your mind and focus when you're
>upset?

_______________________________

))<>((
forever.

  

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teefiveten
Member since Oct 02nd 2008
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Thu Jan-29-15 10:14 AM

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17. "i go for a walk"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

especially if im at work i just leave my desk and go for a walk

otherwise i go for a walk or may go for a drink or watch a comedy on netflix

*************************************
like.me
http://tinyurl.com/3z8486u

"if the children are not initiated into the village they will burn it down just to feel its warmth." - african proverb

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
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Thu Jan-29-15 10:19 AM

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18. "anytime my day is going shitty I pump up the volume on the radio"
In response to Reply # 0


          

  

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Atillah Moor
Member since Sep 05th 2013
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Thu Jan-29-15 10:33 AM

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20. "Take a walk-- chill somewhere for maybe 20 to 30 min"
In response to Reply # 0
Thu Jan-29-15 11:00 AM by Atillah Moor

  

          

then back to work. If someone calls me out on disappearing (someone higher up the chain) then I tell em the deal-- diplomatically of course.

______________________________________

Everything looks like Oprah kissing Harvey Weinstein these days

  

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morpheme
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Thu Jan-29-15 10:41 AM

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21. "if you don't indulge in mary juana..."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

acknowledge the *thing*
address that something's occurred
and declare that the thing in question will have a resolution, that its hold its as powerful as you allow.

it ain't gotta the thing you carry throughout the day.
tomorrow/hours from now it'll be a lesser thing.

music is a welcome distraction because it can take your mind elsewhere.
try ol school, you'll travel back to fonder times.

  

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Trinity444
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Thu Jan-29-15 11:22 AM

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24. "see, when I used to get high..."
In response to Reply # 21


  

          

I'd probably overthink it lol

  

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morpheme
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30. "girl how you been???"
In response to Reply # 24


  

          

i only got noided off of edibles.

  

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WarriorPoet415
Member since Sep 30th 2003
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Thu Jan-29-15 11:02 AM

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22. "Take a good dump or nap. "
In response to Reply # 0


  

          


______________________________________________________________________________

cscpov.blogspot.com

"There's a fine line between persistence and foolishness..."
-unknown

"To Each His Reach"

  

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GHNO
Member since Aug 22nd 2012
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Thu Jan-29-15 11:15 AM

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23. "I repress that shit......."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

it's Man-Law #74

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
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Thu Jan-29-15 11:42 AM

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25. "."
In response to Reply # 0
Thu Jan-29-15 11:45 AM by legsdiamond

          

.

  

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Creole
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Thu Jan-29-15 01:03 PM

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26. "I do my best to charge it to the game cuz..."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

nothing can stop the hustle.

I've worked too hard to be in the position I'm in now. So, in essence, it's a matter of putting myself first at the very instance. My lifestyle can't be paid for if I'm sweating shit that is not related to my grind.

"I've done did a lot of shit just to live this here lifestyle..."

  

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JohnnyKilroy
Member since May 02nd 2012
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Thu Jan-29-15 01:13 PM

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27. "sex. hoop. music. workouts."
In response to Reply # 0


          


IG: hibelk

  

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luminous
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Thu Jan-29-15 01:19 PM

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28. "master your emotions or self-compassion meditation"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

master your emotions:
http://youtu.be/jaaHLoINVp4
http://youtu.be/YeYhIRjZXgg
http://youtu.be/zwT_aRJBRwg

self-compassion meditations:
http://youtu.be/11U0h0DPu7k
http://www.self-compassion.org/guided-self-compassion-meditations-mp3.html

--
Sometimes you have to look reality in the face and say 'No!'
-Ben (Reaper)

  

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earthseed
Member since Feb 26th 2004
26989 posts
Thu Jan-29-15 01:20 PM

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29. "go for a walk, which turns into retail therapy."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

lol

now go runtelldat, ho.

  

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initiationofplato
Member since Nov 06th 2013
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Thu Jan-29-15 03:01 PM

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31. "Stop trying to control things. Detach."
In response to Reply # 0


          

Stop having expectations. Focus only on the present moment. Everything else will lead to stress.

~Experience is the currency of the soul.

  

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ChiBrownSkinLady
Member since Nov 14th 2002
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Thu Jan-29-15 03:43 PM

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32. "I watch Turquoise Jeep videos."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

Or look at pics of my friends' kids or videos of my baby bro.

Babies' innocence and general silliness help reset my spirit whenever I get too low.

__________________________

Just tryna do the best that I can with what it is I have...

  

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MizClayton
Member since Feb 22nd 2003
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Thu Jan-29-15 06:29 PM

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34. "Take deep breaths, get a snack "
In response to Reply # 0
Thu Jan-29-15 06:32 PM by MizClayton

  

          

Don't text anyone about it

think about work and only work. Throw away wandering thoughts

watch something on YouTube

  

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