Nada..

@geahuwine

Wedding in The DMV, a lil chillin in Philly, and peeping Siddhartha's art show in Baltimore. Looking forward to catching up with peeps. Just remembered that because it's a Jewish wedding, I need to bring/wear sensible shoes for the reception. The last time I did the Hava Nagila in heels I almost died. (Not really, but my legs hate me later...)

Caught up with my cousin last night. She thinks I should shift my job search to the east coast. She makes it sound so easy. But she did make some pretty solid points why it wouldn't be the worst thing I've ever done before.

I'm thankful for supportive friends and family who legitimately give a shit about me. Even (especially?) when I'm not being the best myself.

As much as people think I have no filter, trust, there are definitely things I keep to myself. But I do have a tendency to overshare sometimes (as evidenced by this post). I guess it's just a part of my charm? *cheese* Somehow people still put up with me anyway. And some of them even actively like me. How that happens is still a mystery to me. lolsmh

__________________________

Just tryna do the best that I can with what it is I have...

and i don't like it. been doing some real self-evaluation this weekend/week trying to put a finger on why this is happening and what i need to do to correct it.

basically, i have a pretty weak filter and sometimes say the first thing that pops into my mind, which is generally an overreaction and not how i really feel after about 15 seconds of thought is put into the matter. i'm afraid i can come off as an asshole at times, and rightfully so. being an asshole and/or hurting other people's feelings is not what i'm about, but lately i've been coming across that way at times.

i need to fix this. i need to better realize that i'm not always right and my opinion is not the end all be all. and i need to work on having a better filter and not blurting out my initial emotion driven response when things happen.

http://youtu.be/5o37GORoKUQ

#htpw

here for dis.

we all are.

I don't want to say I'm ready for the sake of saying it, and lord knows the mind can change when making lifetime decisions. But everything I know about who I am, who I was, and who I want to be says that this is right and I'm good going forward.

When we first got engaged a lot of the comments from people were back handed. They gave good lessons cloaked in negativity, and it was a bit hard to take. I did what any good engineer did would do; listen to the problem and attacked the root. For the ones that said spending on a wedding isn't important, we set a flexible budget and saved accordingly. For the warnings about people canceling, we had a list of people that we'd want to add. There's a lot more, but for every problem we worked out a solution or work around and it's been great.

So I'm sitting here at the desk on the back side of the bachelor party (mr Thomas numbers you missed out) and with all of the chances that a man can use to cut and run or even put a foot in the pool, I was excited to get back home to our place and sleep in our bed.

She talked way too much, like a person that hasn't seen me in a week, the ac had been off, and she wanted to change it off the Cavs game; but when those are the biggest problems I have in a night or a day I can live with those.

I got a good life and I hope to keep it that way.

------
“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

Unless it doesnt.

Lol

But congrats

it's the right amount of ignorance to make my work day go by w/ease

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mOd5uvyWrx4


there's so many quotables that seem worth shoutin' out from behind my cubical walls.

---------------------------------------
blog: www.wonderfullyhorrible.blogspot.com
instagram: Fishgrease
twitter: wooly_caesar
Podcast www.soundcloud.com/circlegang

myself as Christian. I believe in GOD, I believe Jesus Christ died for my sins. I believe in the Holy Spirit and I read my bible. But due to my radical views of love, tolerance and non judgment (unless you are doing something really wrong like molestation or murder or whatnot) since GOD is the only true judge, I can't identify as Christian.

I think it's truly ignorant that two fictional characters who may or may not be gay, can't get married in peace without a very real church threatening to picket the wedding.

I can't believe that a very Christian family can't understand the outrage of them sticking by someone who molested young women even though he was old enough to know better, and didn't get him some real help. Nor did they get those molested help!!!!

That even though the bible says that man should not lie with man, that as Christians where we should understand that no sin is greater than another, we seem to pick and choose which sins are worse than other. And we are constantly judging those who sin differently from us.

So I choose not to identify as Christian. I will read my bible. I will praise God in everything I do. I will pray and I will live life the way I think He would want me to. But I cannot identify as Christian any longer. Because I don't want to be thought of in the same vein as some of the idiots who claim to be following GOD's word.

"We don't make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents" - Bob Ross

"I'm wearing a MSU Tshirt because I went to MSU, you are wearing a UM Tshirt because you went to Walmart!" -unknown.

http://bjsquirrelchronicles.blogspot.com

>I think it's truly ignorant that two fictional characters who
>may or may not be gay, can't get married in peace without a
>very real church threatening to picket the wedding.

Because if it is them, then they can kick rocks. And I really have no idea what this is in reference to.

It's unfortunate that the acts of extremists and radicals have made you stop labeling your faith. I guess it's something most organized religions go through. But at long as your faith is still strong, that is the most important piece. Don't let this damage your relationship with God.

You're such pests...now, what is it you want? In your depths of your ignorance, what is it you want? Well, whatever it is you want, I can't deliver because I just don't see it. - Orson Welles


Never Tired, Always Sleepy

You know it is.

"We don't make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents" - Bob Ross

"I'm wearing a MSU Tshirt because I went to MSU, you are wearing a UM Tshirt because you went to Walmart!" -unknown.

http://bjsquirrelchronicles.blogspot.com

--------------
Daren, I'll never forget you
http://www.fayemurman.com/extras/magee/daren/

Nah, I'm just tired of extremists and idiots being the face of Christianity. That's all.

"We don't make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents" - Bob Ross

"I'm wearing a MSU Tshirt because I went to MSU, you are wearing a UM Tshirt because you went to Walmart!" -unknown.

http://bjsquirrelchronicles.blogspot.com

you aint no true warrior for the cause
if some monkeys can stop your show

because you are basically
"throwing stones and hiding your hands"

so now you are a closeted christian
cool

--------------
Daren, I'll never forget you
http://www.fayemurman.com/extras/magee/daren/

I'm not closeted. I'm just tired of the ignorance. I guess not identifying as Christian isn't necessarily what I want to say, but I'm just weary.

"We don't make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents" - Bob Ross

"I'm wearing a MSU Tshirt because I went to MSU, you are wearing a UM Tshirt because you went to Walmart!" -unknown.

http://bjsquirrelchronicles.blogspot.com

"Christ died for my sins."

What does this mean? No snark, I just want to see the logic in this. Jesus died for all the sins you haven't committed for thousands of years into the future? Does his sacrifice absolve you from sinning in the future?

How does this work?

~Experience is the currency of the soul.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

so, before Jesus, sinning sent you directly to hell, and after Jesus, you could be forgiven?

talk about a change of heart on behalf of the guy upstairs, haha. or i'm missing something.

~Experience is the currency of the soul.

As long as we believe in him and repent.

********************************

Get Out The Room!
http://getouttheroom.podomatic.com
@fakewilliamkatt

"You probably wouldn't worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they do!" - Olin Miller

it was the Son of GOD. More impactful than a goat sacrifice in that it absolved past, present and future sins.

♥ Inescapably Me ♥

"Love is never any better than the lover" Toni Morrison (The Bluest Eye)

Christians tend to do.

God and Jesus are giving you the serious side eye for using the Duggars as an excuse to back away from that label.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

It's just the label. And I'm just tired of the negativity. Being a Christian is not a bad thing. I love GoD and I believe in him with all my heart. I'm just tired of the ignorance.

"We don't make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents" - Bob Ross

"I'm wearing a MSU Tshirt because I went to MSU, you are wearing a UM Tshirt because you went to Walmart!" -unknown.

http://bjsquirrelchronicles.blogspot.com

I can relate because I fell for the okeydoke as well.

One time I was on my "the church and it's folk are hypocrites" rant and my friend simply said

it's not about them, it's about you and your connection with God when you go to church.

I had a hush my child moment.

We get so wrapped up in taking bullets for the evil that others in our faith do we lose site of what it's truly about.

Now, I'm still not big on church but I'll be damned if a few knuckle heads ruin it for the rest of us. When Katrina hit and the Army, Navy, National Guard couldn't get there.. church folk were driving from states away to help.

Don't let a few people in the news define your faith or make you hide from who you really are.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

shit im giving her the side eye
like seriously?!



>
>God and Jesus are giving you the serious side eye for using
>the Duggars as an excuse to back away from that label.
>
>

--------------
Daren, I'll never forget you
http://www.fayemurman.com/extras/magee/daren/

You can't have part of the identification. It's who you are. If you are a follower of Jesus Christ then you are a Christian. But rather then discard your identification because of what someone else did, you can always be the best Christian so that others may see the stark contrast.




.
.
"Jesus is my Lord and Savior. And if you believe in him, he can be your's too."

This is true also. I just wonder if I'm radical in my beliefs. I love the sinner but hate the sin. I understand that according to the bible, homosexuality is "wrong", I just refuse to believe that a person is "bad" because of who they love or sleep with.

I believe in forgiveness. I believe in repenting. But the way Josh Dugger got a pass for molesting young girls and how the faith is just riding for this dude just doesn't sit well with me. As someone who has been molested and has dealt with her issues, I'm just not okay with that.

So yes, I can set an example. I'm not perfect by any means and I do have my own stuff that I deal with, but it's just that some of the things going on in the world makes me weary and I know all I can do is pray.

You just get tired of the bull.

"We don't make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents" - Bob Ross

"I'm wearing a MSU Tshirt because I went to MSU, you are wearing a UM Tshirt because you went to Walmart!" -unknown.

http://bjsquirrelchronicles.blogspot.com

>This is true also. I just wonder if I'm radical in my
>beliefs. I love the sinner but hate the sin. I understand
>that according to the bible, homosexuality is "wrong", I just
>refuse to believe that a person is "bad" because of who they
>love or sleep with.


Jesus and he founding Apostles were radical. There's nothing wrong with radical thought and love that is focused on the will of God. Sin is sin and we are all capable of sin based on the sin nature, but that doesn't mean that we are bad because we will sin. Our goal is holiness because God is holy and in that we seek His forgiveness via repentance. With that said, homosexuals are not bad just because of the sin, just you and I are not bad. We just have to keep moving towards holiness through repentance. And the love of God, the same love that we should have for one another has nothing to do with sex. Love that is motivated by sex is not God's sacrificial redeeming love



>
>I believe in forgiveness. I believe in repenting. But the
>way Josh Dugger got a pass for molesting young girls and how
>the faith is just riding for this dude just doesn't sit well
>with me. As someone who has been molested and has dealt with
>her issues, I'm just not okay with that.
>


The issues of Josh Dugger is no different then the issues of David, Moses, Paul, etc. Not the law of the land may have been avoided, but at this point I don't know the details of the treatment of all that were involved (victims and offender). I read a bit, but I'm sure there is more. But by faith, I have to try look at matters though God's eyes too. But no matter if I agree or disagree I cannot let my faith or identification be determined by others. There will come a time when the Christian Name will be hated and persecuted, then what will you do. I will still be a Christian and I will not deny that fact then or now.



>So yes, I can set an example. I'm not perfect by any means
>and I do have my own stuff that I deal with, but it's just
>that some of the things going on in the world makes me weary
>and I know all I can do is pray.
>
>You just get tired of the bull.


Your frustration is valid and brave and needed. I hope that this will motive you to a cause and a the kind of national mission work that is needed to help others who are on your heart.


.
.
.
"Jesus is my Lord and Savior. And if you believe in him, he can be your's too."

they came with love and compassion
while she is weary

im all sarcastic and such
allowing my flesh to rule me to be snarky

see we all are works in progress lol

--------------
Daren, I'll never forget you
http://www.fayemurman.com/extras/magee/daren/

Thank you for this. 😊

"We don't make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents" - Bob Ross

"I'm wearing a MSU Tshirt because I went to MSU, you are wearing a UM Tshirt because you went to Walmart!" -unknown.

http://bjsquirrelchronicles.blogspot.com

.

nvm

those other folks are the imposters.

*shrugs*
*****************************************
. . . If I have something to say when there is a reason involved, I am perfectly willing to talk. Katherine Hepburn

The only acceptable reply to a cw post is affirmative...and non questioning. This ain't your confession! It's hers! She owes y'all nothing! Don't explain shit to em, tiggerific!


does it really matter?

wonder what bin's doing?
http://i.imgur.com/phECCMp.jpg

Thanks! 😊

"We don't make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents" - Bob Ross

"I'm wearing a MSU Tshirt because I went to MSU, you are wearing a UM Tshirt because you went to Walmart!" -unknown.

http://bjsquirrelchronicles.blogspot.com

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

It's cool. 😊

"We don't make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents" - Bob Ross

"I'm wearing a MSU Tshirt because I went to MSU, you are wearing a UM Tshirt because you went to Walmart!" -unknown.

http://bjsquirrelchronicles.blogspot.com

>The only acceptable reply to a cw post is affirmative...and
>non questioning.

i kind of miss when it wasnt like every other gd post

.
http://perspectivesudans.blogspot.com/
i myself would never want to be god,or even like god.Because god got all these human beings on this planet and i most certainly would not want to be responsible for them, or even have the disgrace that i made them.

with this line: "how does CK put on boxers every day with so many OKPs on his nuts"


i was sitting at home reading a book and that popped into my head. lol
driving on the highway it popped in my head

"If you wanna help us, fine. Sit down with your kids and make 'em study at night...otherwise, shoot THIS mothaf*cka!" (c) Morgan Freeman,

'you want it to be one way, but it's the other way'
it's bugging me out but i think i needed that. i was being slightly delusional & entitled.

'When you leave for work, I lay on your side of the bed; I love how it smells....your essence..."

I said: 'What's it smell like? Prada and despair?'

She laughed.

I didn't.

#InARut
#Stagnating

IG: amadu_me

"...Whateva, man..." (c) Redman

~Experience is the currency of the soul.

I need a goal.

********************************

Get Out The Room!
http://getouttheroom.podomatic.com
@fakewilliamkatt

"You probably wouldn't worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they do!" - Olin Miller

I never thought I'd get to a place in life where I'm moved to tears often because I'm just so happy and grateful to be.

It's not that I have everything I want. Actually, I have hardly anything I want.
But I want what I have right now. I'm enjoying what I've got. And looking forward to the future.

All I ever used to talk about was how unhappy and depressed I was. So I want to give as much voice to my happiness.
When you're in that dark hole, you never think anything good will happen to you again.
I understand why people give up. But take it from someone who was there... you can get out.


I am so happy that I'm still here to enjoy each day.

I mean, it will, but it won't. Not for forever. But it'll return.

That's the new thing I've learned. I've never really felt just totally happy.
So this is new for me. But I know that I can endure a lot more than I ever thought I could.
So when things do turn south, I'll get through. And then I'll be happy again.

>All I ever used to talk about was how unhappy and depressed I
>was. So I want to give as much voice to my happiness.
>When you're in that dark hole, you never think anything good
>will happen to you again.
>I understand why people give up. But take it from someone who
>was there... you can get out.

the majority of 2011 was like "holy shit, this is what life is supposed to feel like" and once that buzz wore off things havent been bad compared to 2008-2010

keep pushing

Yeah, I was a little worried about the buzz wearing off, so to speak.
Like, what if this is just a temporary thing and then my life backflips into the deep end again?

But the thing is, I'm tough. I'm strong. And I'm grateful. I know I'll see it through.
And I'm laying the foundations for things to never be what they once were.

♥ Inescapably Me ♥

"Love is never any better than the lover" Toni Morrison (The Bluest Eye)

^_^

ring on my finger aside, women dont notice me at parties. I dont go out of my way to attract anyone, but it really has me feeling washed or wondering if I ever had "it" to begin with. women gave me time because I was funny/charming/kind, but none of that was automatic. I guess if I worked a lot harder at it I could get attention, but at this point why?

I need to put away more money. our jobs are stable but I still want to feel like we're working towards some sort of financial goal instead of paying bills, going to dinner/vacations and saving small increments. I probably need a life coach there the same way I need one in every other way

I will lose 20 pounds by the end of the year and another 15 by next March for this Dominican Republic trip we have planned. Except I like sugar and carbs too much for it

I shouldnt complain about anything after everything I've come through, but I'm still working one day at a time past the bad times

i'd rather deal with the heat that then soul less cold ass air, shrug.

~Experience is the currency of the soul.

I have really gotten out of pocket with how I address drivers trying to get past me when I have the walk signal and nearly running me over.

Before I know it I get immediately angry and confront them.

I asked a guy what in the fuck are you doing? Don't you see me trying to walk?

I angrily asked another guy if he realized he was being an asshole.

Immediately after me blurting that stuff out I worry that the the guy is going to curse me out or blow his horn or something.

In both cases they clammed up, body language waiving the white flag.
Still... I need to work on that.

-------------------
'Some have lives that haven't gone the way they planned, and some are trapped in situations they can't stand...'

...

it aint about just Christianity

hence why i said she on that raven symone
raven is all "im not identifying myself as black"
we all gave her side eye

she could have been like
"i dont want to be identified as a mother
because of all the bad mothers out there"
while she is killing the game raising her kid

i still would have given her the sideye
and the same response

however your response is what she is referring to
you categorized that "christians" are creepy
when it could have been anything
and she would have gotten the same response

its actually ironic
you are the reason that she doesnt want
to identify with that label anymore
because people like you

and although i was tough up there
i dont blame her
once people put me in that "oh she is a christian category"
it's not the same on here
however im gonna still be me

--------------
Daren, I'll never forget you
http://www.fayemurman.com/extras/magee/daren/

First hand myself from family....and I just see it in general a LOT..

>it aint about just Christianity
>
>hence why i said she on that raven symone
>raven is all "im not identifying myself as black"
>we all gave her side eye
>
>she could have been like
>"i dont want to be identified as a mother
>because of all the bad mothers out there"
>while she is killing the game raising her kid
>
>i still would have given her the sideye
>and the same response

giving her the sideye isn't claptoable at all though...this is CW...


>however your response is what she is referring to
>you categorized that "christians" are creepy
>when it could have been anything
>and she would have gotten the same response
>
>its actually ironic
>you are the reason that she doesnt want
>to identify with that label anymore
>because people like you

She stated her reasons....i'm not one of them. Plus...I didn't say Christians were creepy...

>and although i was tough up there
>i dont blame her
>once people put me in that "oh she is a christian category"
>it's not the same on here
>however im gonna still be me

be all that you can be fam.


"Seasons may come and your luck just may run out, and all that you'll have is some memories..."

or a writer... while still doing all the things an artist or writer does...

friends and strangers who are also writers and artist will tell them not to give up or give a "yeah right..eyeroll" because they know the person is caught in the moment.

It was a mistake to address them in here tho.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

My confession is necessary because I'm hyperaware of the irrationality of it.....



"Seasons may come and your luck just may run out, and all that you'll have is some memories..."

I'll just have to write my own confession

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

because i be SO ready to give up on various things, ppl, places, and then the universe is like "no, not yet..." and shows me the greatness and why I chose to be where i am...i just WISH I was able to focus more and be a better person. if i could just get my life together I'd be so awesome.

i have NOT one person who works here who can appreciate this with me...
like it's so sad and such a waste to me that I have to appreciate in silence...

I got a good life man

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

i will say they can't appreciate in the fashion I am used to appreciating..
ie you see it you turn to ur mate u both nod ur head u move on with ur day...

like I have none of that... I don't even think they notice.

matter fact I am sure they don't as the woman who sits behind me has bent over at the waist 5 times today... to stretch... not one acknowledgement

I got a good life man

the next 2 1/2 months.

I'm not ready...

But that means football is getting closer.

--------------------------------

one half of the most dynamic tag team on the net...nappyafro's FROCAST!

http://www.frocast.com
www.nappyafro.com
store.nappyafro.com

I SERIOUSLY don't get the point, like at all.

********************************

Get Out The Room!
http://getouttheroom.podomatic.com
@fakewilliamkatt

"You probably wouldn't worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they do!" - Olin Miller

So my dad has an identical twin brother. They're 69, went to college together, and the twin moved to NY in like 1970, while my dad moved to L.A. in 1975. The twin never had kids, but was married from like 1978-1984, and then had a long term girlfriend from 1987-2010 or so. We see him all the time, probably twice a year, and him and my dad have always been close.

A while back on Facebook, a random 19 year old girl hit me saying "are you related to ? If so, I feel that I'm at liberty to tell you that I'm his granddaughter."

It didn't even slightly affect me, since it was just a mix up of names. I responded, "which ?" and forgot about it, as she never responded.

Two weeks later, I'm at a family function, and my aunt (my dad and his twin's sister) says "soooo! You hear about your new family? Your uncle has a 40 year old daughter, and three grandkids!"

Umm.............................what?

She said, "yep! He had her in New York 40 years ago. One of the granddaughters sent me a message on Facebook asking if I was related to him. I asked her some questions, and she showed me pics with him and all. I called him right away, and he admitted to it! He never even told your dad!"

What's even wilder to me is that I learned that identical twins share the same DNA, which means their kids are genetically siblings. So..........yeah, genetically, I have a 40 year old sister who I've never met before. The fuck.

------------------------------

50+ FREE Mixes on www.DJR-Tistic.com!

Twitter and Instagram - @DJ_RTistic

I tend to be drawn to broken people because of my own brokenness but I'm growing out of it. During this process of growth, the broken people I made friends with have acted predictably.

I realized that some of my closest relationships were based on the fact that the other person was flawed (we all are, but I mean in a way that is damaging and hurtful to others) that I was able to be authentic with them because I didn't regard them highly enough to be embarrassed.

Also, I am now keenly aware of all the people who've offered me their whole-hearted, pure friendship that I have ignored, mainly out of shame.

But other than this, I'm great. Really great. This process has been so necessary.

life's been okay

close to good but I'm not complaining

Dating this new guy, he's a regular at my gig that dropped off a mix cd with a bunch of good soul tunes... prolly not anything serious but I like him. We agree on the weirdest shit like the Wyclef Carnival album or a shared penchant of being skeptic observers of all things occulty

Band stuff has been getting on my nerves but I just need to a be a more effective bandleader, lessons being learned

Keep seeing this weird symbol, Esco suggested I talk to it and maybe I will.

School year is almost done and I can't wait cuz the youth and I are so over the routines now


"i wanna hug all u idiotic bastards & then set you all on fire" -Bin

www.twitter.com/bedstuybetty
http://bedstuybetty.tumblr.com/
DROkayplayer: Giving you good puff since May '05