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Subject: "for red sea babies." This topic is locked.
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paperdollpoet
Charter member
2238 posts
Mon Dec-13-04 11:00 AM

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"for red sea babies."


  

          

canít no one tell me differently
i know
life just wasnít ready for you yet
i can tell your brilliance from staring at the
depth of your red
the brightness of your soul
your dead sea scrolls stained truths between blank knees
that have forgotten how to pray
i have forgotten how to pray
and which direction it should be shouted towards
but still i can see under my mumbled curses
& while swimming in your red sea of radiance
that you had to leave
i imagine that earth couldn't handle of that type of energy
you would fuck up gravity
alabama's red clay would be too jealous of you
and the stars would give up their place in fear
that they couldn't compare to you
and the sky would fall closer to the ground just to be next to you
baby
ain't nobody got to believe like i do
because i know

life wasnít ready for you yet
& i wasnít ready for you yet

my womb was too small of a world
this fluid in me not sweet enough for your tongue
my heartbeat not maginceift enough for you to dance to
my uterus too possessive and constricting
for you to enter thru
and i ainít mad at you
because many times iíve felt that same claustrophobic feeling
between these walls of womanhood crashing down against me
i know that fleeting moment when life and death pull up chairs at your tea party
one has the sugar and one has the spoon
iíve been there, deciding on whether to stay or leave my mark scribbled on
steamy mirrors
i ainít mad at you for leaving
sometimes leaving is the best thing to do

especially when
life wasnít ready for you
& i wasnít ready for you.

---



www.sheflypaper.com

  

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Topic Outline
Subject Author Message Date ID
*shrugs*
Dec 13th 2004
1
its dedicated to miscarriages.
Dec 13th 2004
2
      i kept trying 2 put you into the poem
Dec 13th 2004
4
           The one time I get it...
Jan 23rd 2005
36
but sometimes they do understand
Dec 13th 2004
3
RE: but sometimes they do understand
Dec 13th 2004
5
spelling
Dec 14th 2004
6
*respectful nod*
Dec 14th 2004
7
good to see a piece of yours on the board.
Dec 14th 2004
8
RE: for red sea babies.
Dec 14th 2004
9
all too often
Dec 14th 2004
10
amazing
Dec 14th 2004
11
up nm
Dec 18th 2004
12
RE: for red sea babies.
Dec 18th 2004
13
wow
Dec 21st 2004
14
the audio
Dec 21st 2004
15
RE: the audio
Dec 21st 2004
17
RE: you already got my comment
Dec 22nd 2004
20
*smiles* i love how the emotion seeps thru your lips
Dec 22nd 2004
21
i dont think
Dec 26th 2004
23
RE: for red sea babies.
Dec 21st 2004
16
RE: for red sea babies.
Dec 21st 2004
18
RE: for red sea babies.
Dec 21st 2004
19
^up cause i like this^
Dec 25th 2004
22
duly noted, n/m.
Jan 02nd 2005
24
RE: for red sea babies.
Jan 02nd 2005
25
RE: for red sea babies.
Jan 05th 2005
26
it was my mistake
Jan 05th 2005
27
      my comment
Jan 08th 2005
28
i thought...
Jan 23rd 2005
38
i want a copy of your book...
Jan 10th 2005
29
me too
Jan 11th 2005
31
saw this on ur site
Jan 11th 2005
30
you know
Jan 11th 2005
32
RE: for red sea babies.
Jan 11th 2005
33
damn you.
Jan 12th 2005
34
Ummmmm -- ARCHIVE?
Jan 18th 2005
35
RE: Ummmmm -- ARCHIVE?
Jan 23rd 2005
39
this...
Jan 23rd 2005
37
RE: for red sea babies.
Jan 27th 2005
40
RE: for red sea babies.
Jan 27th 2005
41
i had no idea...
Jan 27th 2005
42
RE: i had no idea...
Jan 27th 2005
43
i avoided reading this piece
Jan 29th 2005
44

mindful
Charter member
41306 posts
Mon Dec-13-04 01:13 PM

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1. "*shrugs*"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

i am not too sure of what to make of... the focal point or meaning...

but i got emotionally involved reading these lines:

you would fuck up gravity
alabama's red clay would be too jealous of you
and the stars would give up their place in fear
that they couldn't compare to you
and the sky would fall closer to the ground just to be next to you
baby
ain't nobody got to believe like i do
because i know

life wasnít ready for you yet
& i wasnít ready for you yet

my womb was too small of a world
this fluid in me not sweet enough for your tongue
my heartbeat not maginceift enough for you to dance to
my uterus too possessive and constricting
for you to enter thru
and i ainít mad at you
because many times iíve felt that same claustrophobic feeling
between these walls of womanhood crashing down against me

and i love when i can "feel" what i'm reading. i love when i can sit titely in my seat and get all sad, like the world is coming down on me when reading something...

u do this very well... involve ur readers. very well... Peace~


==================
save your love
i'm coming
. ©New Edition

!





------------------------------
my work
http://meetmsmindful.wordpress.com
http://www.lulu.com/content/7598631
http://evan-roth.com/grey.php

  

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paperdollpoet
Charter member
2238 posts
Mon Dec-13-04 02:51 PM

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2. "its dedicated to miscarriages."
In response to Reply # 1


  

          

sometimes i forget that people won't always understand what i mean.

lost in translation...

---



www.sheflypaper.com

  

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mindful
Charter member
41306 posts
Mon Dec-13-04 04:53 PM

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4. "i kept trying 2 put you into the poem"
In response to Reply # 2


  

          

woulda never figured miscarriages... thanks for that...


==================
save your love
i'm coming
. ©New Edition

!





------------------------------
my work
http://meetmsmindful.wordpress.com
http://www.lulu.com/content/7598631
http://evan-roth.com/grey.php

  

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delrica
Charter member
6889 posts
Sun Jan-23-05 05:11 AM

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36. "The one time I get it..."
In response to Reply # 4


  

          

Figures the one time I get it...no one else does.

Lei, that was some powerful stuff. The red herring clue wise for me was:

"The world was not ready for you
I was not ready for you
My womb (and then my mind goes blank because I'm too lazy to hit the back button)"

That told me so much in those three lines.

FEEDBACK: There are some spelling mistakes and an extra word in one of the lines that could stand to be removed. I didn't think the last "and" needed to be there (but that's just my opinion). That piece is beyond powerful. I actually wanted to know if it would be ok for me to share this with my venue either tonight or next Sunday.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~o~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
RIP Simmon Teffera (1983-1/15/2003), you are always with us.

"Before I became a member of this group, I thought a Haiku was just a villian on the "Samauri Jack" cartoon." © Nowachaoticthing

"This Chapbook Was Made With Pilfered Office Products" by Delrica Andrews - Now on Sale
($6 including S & H) ... just email me or hit the inbox w/ your info (I do accept paypal payments)

■ ■ ■ ■ ■

----------------------
Cop my stuff, mayne!

My first chapbook: "This Chapbook Was Made With Pilfered Office Products" available now - $6.00

My 2nd chapbook, coming in 2007: "Orgasms and Ice Cream"

fmi: http://www.myspace.com/delrica

  

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Kinetic Koala
Member since Dec 23rd 2003
519 posts
Mon Dec-13-04 04:13 PM

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3. "but sometimes they do understand"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

doll-- youre one of my fave poets on the board and this piece is just amazing. it's so bittersweet.... absolutly beautiful!
I am impressed indeed


~~sig~~

Just keep thinking about it.


"Dreams are true while they last, and do we not live in dreams?" -Alfred Lord Tennyson

"Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you'll understand what little chance you have in trying to change others." -J.M. Braude


SCORPIO!!! "Everybody acting according to the season that they're born in..."

~~sig~~

Just keep thinking about it.


"Dreams are true while they last, and do we not live in dreams?" -Alfred Lord Tennyson

"Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you'll understand what little chance you have in trying to change others

  

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Intrepid Vixen
Member since Nov 07th 2004
2150 posts
Mon Dec-13-04 05:23 PM

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5. "RE: but sometimes they do understand"
In response to Reply # 3


  

          

Sometimes understanding is in the everyday things that we don't say, but perhaps we think. Very lovely. Simply, expressive and raw emotions. Beautifully written!

~*~
It's only what you believe will happen and therefore do next that will bring
about a life change.
Addendum
Prayer of Jabez

~~~~~~~~
When One learns
to live without fear,
then One cannot be broken.

  

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rgv
Charter member
4556 posts
Tue Dec-14-04 05:27 AM

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6. "spelling"
In response to Reply # 0


          

but i know u're not a spell checker
&
life wasnít ready for you yet
& i wasnít ready for you yet

my womb was too small of a world


i understood the first time around
i kept thinking about salt water tho..
toni cade bambara...she has a collection w/ a title
that's sumthing like that
i dunno why that jumped in my head

i just want chu to know
how i feel
how i feel

  

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Iconoclast
Charter member
101 posts
Tue Dec-14-04 11:22 AM

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7. "*respectful nod*"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

dig the feminine energy in your pieces...they seem almost always real personal and mad feminine...from a dudes perspective it's always kinda shocking seeing the emotions there. i thought the piece was about abortion till i read your post on the miscarriage thing. Nice!

***********************************************************


poets are the midwives of reality--John Keats

do something before it exists, sense something before it becomes active, see something before it sprouts - Book of Balance and Harmony

"You can't finish hot soup in one gulp, you must sip slowly...

  

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Morehouse
Member since Feb 25th 2003
7568 posts
Tue Dec-14-04 11:49 AM

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8. "good to see a piece of yours on the board."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          


you always give
something to think about,
over and over again.


***********************************


"At least embarrassment is not an imitation.
It's intimacy for beginners,
the orgasm no one cares to fake.
I almost admire it. I almost wrote despise." -Alice Fulton

"The future is a grey seagull
Tattling in its cat-voice of departure.
Age and terror, like nurses, attend her,
And a drowned man, complaining of the great cold,
Crawls up out of the sea."
-Sylvia Plath

***********************************
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=500290931


myself is sculptor of
your bodyís idiom:
the musician of your wrists;
the poet who is afraid
only to mistranslate
a rhythm in your hair...
-E.E. Cummings

  

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Revolt
Member since Apr 06th 2004
3661 posts
Tue Dec-14-04 01:55 PM

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9. "RE: for red sea babies."
In response to Reply # 0


          

i think mindful said it best...it's when the poet can evoke the deepest, darkest emotions buried within us, and we face them, and feel them, rejoice or cry within them...that's the truest gift given.

i felt these lines especially:

'i have forgotten how to pray
and which direction it should be shouted towards
but still i can see under my mumbled curses
& while swimming in your red sea of radiance
that you had to leave'

lei i could give you all the compliments in the world, and it still wouldnt be able to explain the awe i have, when i read your work...even in a piece like this, where your speaking for millions of women who go through this, and have no voice.
____________

Avi: *can't breathe* whooooooooooooooooooooooo!







I paint letters on

יא כִּי אָנֹכִי יָדַעְתִּי אֶת-הַמַּחֲשָׁבֹת, אֲשֶׁר אָנֹכִי חֹשֵׁב עֲלֵיכֶם--נְאֻם-יְהוָה: מַחְשְׁבוֹת שָׁלוֹם וְלֹא לְרָעָה, לָתֵת לָכֶם אַחֲרִית וְתִקְוָה. יב וּקְרָאתֶם אֹתִי וַהֲלַכְתֶּם, וְהִתְפַּלַּלְתֶּם אֵלָי; וְשָׁמַעְתִּי, אֲלֵיכֶם. יג וּבִקַּשְׁתֶּם אֹתִי, וּמְצָאתֶם: כִּי תִדְרְשֻׁנִי, בְּכָל-לְבַבְכֶם.

Yermiyahu 29:11-13


  

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sparrow
Member since Nov 24th 2004
130 posts
Tue Dec-14-04 02:09 PM

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10. "all too often"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

ppl shrug off miscarriages
like: its a bad thing, but its not like u even knew the child -- as if being born were the only symptom of life
but when i get to thinking abt it, a death that occurs right inside your life space has got to be the most difficult thing in the world

*******************
a woman like me
needs to own her own galleries
write her own anthologies
needs blueberry bagels for breakfast
coconut rice for lunch
pork chops & glasses of wine for dinner
nothing but a string of pearls
and some moisturizer
to bed

  

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mylife
Charter member
posts
Tue Dec-14-04 07:42 PM

11. "amazing"
In response to Reply # 0


          

i love this piece...

read and reread it. my favorite line:

my heartbeat not magnificent enough for you to dance to

i truly enjoy the subtlety with which you conveyed both the despair and the relief...& i wasn't ready for you yet.

thanks for the good read.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~











  

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mindful
Charter member
41306 posts
Sat Dec-18-04 07:38 AM

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12. "up nm"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          




==================
save your love
i'm coming
. ©New Edition

!





------------------------------
my work
http://meetmsmindful.wordpress.com
http://www.lulu.com/content/7598631
http://evan-roth.com/grey.php

  

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blak_yukon
Charter member
3901 posts
Sat Dec-18-04 11:08 AM

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13. "RE: for red sea babies."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

some beautifully depressing stuff here,ma

blk



you will like vicversus...


You know, some of us are better than most of us in some things, but none of us are better than all of us in everything.(c) Trick Daddy

----------sig-----------

http://unclevicart.com/

me and the fellas would converge and heat up some Hot Pockets in preparation for Rap City.© Roc

dude, getting a response from the folks at freestyle is like watching water boil...© Tek

  

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madawaka
Charter member
798 posts
Tue Dec-21-04 08:25 AM

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14. "wow"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

oh my...you stepped into a page of my life and rewrote it beyond beauty. Still visual, your pictures of poetry are painted beautifully. Reading that was inspiring.

All praises to the Ansestors that light my way though the darkness

www.illpoets.com

  

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paperdollpoet
Charter member
2238 posts
Tue Dec-21-04 09:44 AM

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15. "the audio"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

beware, i tend to talk too close to the mircophone..

but here it is: →

---



www.sheflypaper.com

  

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soulchild
Member since Dec 25th 2003
1272 posts
Tue Dec-21-04 06:42 PM

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17. "RE: the audio"
In response to Reply # 15
Tue Dec-21-04 06:51 PM

  

          

wow.
that was quite powerful to hear you say so.
thanks for posting the audio
plus, it was kinda wild, cause i'm pretty sure i could hear children in the background. which is rather poetic.




  

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Mystic_Elixir
Charter member
1808 posts
Wed Dec-22-04 12:17 PM

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20. "RE: you already got my comment"
In response to Reply # 15


          

but this should be upped anyway so.... here it is again *smile*

I really like the audio (the poem on its own legs is very good as well). Hearing a piece read gives an energy to it that often can be lost in translation when simply viewed. You get more of the authors intent as in, whether a piece is coming from an air of regret, or peace, or confusion etc.

I like your voice, but the beginning and middle sound a bit nasal/whiny (not in an ugly way, more so flirty...the sound I'd expect for a sex/romantic love poem) towards the end your voice picks up bass and that sound seems fitting for the topic.

Other than that, practice and polish make perfect, but this is a very good first recording, and I can't wait to hear more from you! And though I wasn't there to hear the competition, I think I'll have to agree with David, you were robbed, because you have a beautiful voice/vibe/art so you should have been first, not second place. Next time!

Peace sister girl, enjoy Mee-ah-mee. Hasta luego.

_________
to retain my illusion of sanity
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Plan to be , I will! need to learn to truly love our .

















_______closing remarks______

" To be nobody but yourself-- in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else-- means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and to never stop fighting.-- E.E. Cummings"

"There is nothing nobler or more admirable than when two people who see eye to eye keep house as husband and wife, confounding their enemies and delighting their friends" ---Homer, The Odyssey

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent"--- E. Roosevelt

"Love is anterior to life
posterior to death
Initial of creation, and
the exponent of breath"--Emily Dickenson

Mystic: One who experiences mystical union, or direct communion with God or Ulitmate reality.

Elixir: A substance held capable of prolonging life indefinitely (also panacea) a sweetened, alcoholic, medicinal solution... I am


  

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the perfect mistake
Member since Dec 19th 2004
5090 posts
Wed Dec-22-04 06:39 PM

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21. "*smiles* i love how the emotion seeps thru your lips"
In response to Reply # 15


          

when u read, perform, share verbally your words. this is my "for amiia," and "i got issues."






=====================
all water has a
memory
it was.
©Toni Morrison

.

  

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rgv
Charter member
4556 posts
Sun Dec-26-04 11:54 AM

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23. "i dont think"
In response to Reply # 15


          

i cared for the delivery...it was like not what i remember of you....it was very slam-ish...like i didnt feel that was ur true voice...i KNOW u, and the way u read it just didnt grab me. i preferred reading it to listening to it honestly

i just want chu to know
how i feel
how i feel

  

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ToeJam
Charter member
2086 posts
Tue Dec-21-04 01:30 PM

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16. "RE: for red sea babies."
In response to Reply # 0


          

Hello.

I liked this.

T'was straight up, to me.

I took it literally.

  

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NoBle
Member since Nov 23rd 2004
446 posts
Tue Dec-21-04 07:42 PM

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18. "RE: for red sea babies."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

WoW!

Beautiful,powerful
embracing, saddened
heartache, love all at the same time!

******SiG***************
"my crisis stems where
love used to bloom"-BarTek

  

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Lucky187
Member since Dec 02nd 2002
741 posts
Tue Dec-21-04 07:55 PM

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19. "RE: for red sea babies."
In response to Reply # 0


          

I'm hesitant to respond, because this is a place I as a young man can't really comprehend..

but I think I caught some of the feeling and emotion.. and it made me want to cry (yeah I can admit it) but at the same to stare wistfully out at the stars outside and wonder..

I won't say no more, but respect.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sig-

"I wandered around darkened hallways,
Lab-rynth, filled with,
Blood vessels and plasma,
Caught glances of windows-
Peeking OUT, exoflective,
Invective messages left on my own voice mail..
And by looking out from within?

I

  

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Kinetic Koala
Member since Dec 23rd 2003
519 posts
Sat Dec-25-04 07:15 PM

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22. "^up cause i like this^"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

~~sig~~

Just keep thinking about it.


"Dreams are true while they last, and do we not live in dreams?" -Alfred Lord Tennyson

"Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you'll understand what little chance you have in trying to change others." -J.M. Braude


SCORPIO!!! "Everybody acting according to the season that they're born in..."

~~sig~~

Just keep thinking about it.


"Dreams are true while they last, and do we not live in dreams?" -Alfred Lord Tennyson

"Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you'll understand what little chance you have in trying to change others

  

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STIMULI
Charter member
5896 posts
Sun Jan-02-05 03:19 PM

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24. "duly noted, n/m."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

.

  

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Otto
Member since Dec 19th 2002
4624 posts
Sun Jan-02-05 04:21 PM

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25. "RE: for red sea babies."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

because many times iíve felt that same claustrophobic feeling
between these walls of womanhood crashing down against me
i know that fleeting moment when life and death pull up chairs at your tea party
one has the sugar and one has the spoon
iíve been there, deciding on whether to stay or leave my mark scribbled on
steamy mirrors
i ainít mad at you for leaving
sometimes leaving is the best thing to do

especially when
life wasnít ready for you
& i wasnít ready for you.



...i like it, but i dont think its appropriate for a baby's tongue to touch your uterus...or you know, whatever you said...that doesnt sit well in me for some reason...but i LOVE absolutely...LOVE the rest of the poem....

  

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Mystic_Elixir
Charter member
1808 posts
Wed Jan-05-05 07:12 AM

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26. "RE: for red sea babies."
In response to Reply # 25


          

This is the line you mean, no?

"this fluid in me not sweet enough for your tongue"

Yes, it sounds a bit... raw, but it seems that is what she was going for. It's very... graphic, but so is the situation so, though it did strike me a similar chord (the discomfort with the line), I can see how it makes the piece all the more vivid and haunting.






to retain my illusion of sanity
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Plan to be , I will! need to learn to truly love our .

















_______closing remarks______

" To be nobody but yourself-- in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else-- means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and to never stop fighting.-- E.E. Cummings"

"There is nothing nobler or more admirable than when two people who see eye to eye keep house as husband and wife, confounding their enemies and delighting their friends" ---Homer, The Odyssey

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent"--- E. Roosevelt

"Love is anterior to life
posterior to death
Initial of creation, and
the exponent of breath"--Emily Dickenson

Mystic: One who experiences mystical union, or direct communion with God or Ulitmate reality.

Elixir: A substance held capable of prolonging life indefinitely (also panacea) a sweetened, alcoholic, medicinal solution... I am


  

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paperdollpoet
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2238 posts
Wed Jan-05-05 07:48 AM

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27. "it was my mistake"
In response to Reply # 26


  

          

the 'fluid' i spoke of was amniotic fluid & i wrote it based on an assumption that babies could possibly taste this fluid when they opened their mouths. i didn't do any actual resarch on whether this was even plausible, so therefore that is where my mistake lies..

i didn't think that was too disturbing...

---
→ →


www.sheflypaper.com

  

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truth
Charter member
242 posts
Sat Jan-08-05 10:32 PM

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28. "my comment"
In response to Reply # 27


          

i think this poem is beautiful. ive read it a few times & just realized i havent commented. so here it is, my comment! honestly though, i pplayed the audio and my mom thought it was me coming out the computer. i disagree with a few comments here (as is my god given right) i thought the audio was good, didnt strike me as unreal or too slamish and i wasnt offened by any of the imagery.i thought this piece was pretty straight forward and honest. & thats what i like about your writing.
___________________
it takes courage to be human. to live on this earth is a daily choice, a daily action, a daily commitment to being u. to loving & accepting who u are. it is a journey of timid steps & at times, full bounds. no one can corporate sponsor that commitment. no one can own your past or your secrets. no one can sell your shame or your glory.




+

I
wrap
myself
around a
celestial
tree

and from there

I can see

Patterns
of
eternity
that stick with me and
make impact, so that
the struggle

has meaning

-gsquared


http://www.myspace.com/nonifashoni

  

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blaXXX
Member since Dec 01st 2004
1649 posts
Sun Jan-23-05 08:38 AM

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38. "i thought..."
In response to Reply # 25


          

that the Vulgarity in ways we imperfect humans have come to 'view' the uterus, is independent of it's true God-given purpose---especially regarding reproduction processes?

____ _____ _____

*--> www.soundclick.com/blaXXX <--*

*~* Go ahead! EXPERIENCE the latest non-Profit joint!*~*

____ _____ _____

blaXXX' breviaries: 2005---And we coulda saved more...if they ONLY KNEW they were Slaves
____

  

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Morehouse
Member since Feb 25th 2003
7568 posts
Mon Jan-10-05 05:11 PM

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29. "i want a copy of your book..."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          



)))))



***********************************


"At least embarrassment is not an imitation.
It's intimacy for beginners,
the orgasm no one cares to fake.
I almost admire it. I almost wrote despise." -Alice Fulton

"The future is a grey seagull
Tattling in its cat-voice of departure.
Age and terror, like nurses, attend her,
And a drowned man, complaining of the great cold,
Crawls up out of the sea."
-Sylvia Plath

"I would like to be the air
that inhabits you for a moment
only. I would like to be that unnoticed
& that necessary." -Margaret Atwood

***********************************
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=500290931


myself is sculptor of
your bodyís idiom:
the musician of your wrists;
the poet who is afraid
only to mistranslate
a rhythm in your hair...
-E.E. Cummings

  

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jolena
Member since Aug 20th 2003
21039 posts
Tue Jan-11-05 01:55 PM

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31. "me too"
In response to Reply # 29


          


- --- --
"i write life like mistakes that smell of baby powder" - no reply needed

  

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LexM
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28342 posts
Tue Jan-11-05 08:12 AM

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30. "saw this on ur site"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

i dig it...

my mom went thru many miscarriages...and i had to see my best friend thru one in the fall...

tough.

~~~~
"Terrorism is only the privatization of war. Terrorists are the free marketeers of war. They believe that the legitimate use of violence is not the sole prerogative of the state." ~Arundhati Roy

strivin for self-determination since 1978

~~~~
http://omidele.blogspot.com/
http://rahareiki.tumblr.com/
http://seatofbliss.blogspot.com/

  

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jolena
Member since Aug 20th 2003
21039 posts
Tue Jan-11-05 01:56 PM

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32. "you know"
In response to Reply # 0


          

youre one of my favorite artists on here.
and i mean..this...this was charged with emotion & truth.
it is a breath of fresh air. sad air. but fresh air.
i love this. i really do. )
- --- --
"i write life like mistakes that smell of baby powder" - no reply needed

  

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ArKay01
Member since Oct 29th 2004
754 posts
Tue Jan-11-05 02:03 PM

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33. "RE: for red sea babies."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

Intrepid, interesting, honest and graphic..you provoked allot in this piece, the replies clarify that..one word - classic. Thank you for sharing

- En-Vista



- En-Vista

  

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RatpackSlim
Charter member
1216 posts
Wed Jan-12-05 12:19 AM

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34. "damn you."
In response to Reply # 0


          

i was trying to stay in hiding for a while.

you are TOO good.

lot of things i liked about this. the stance taken is inspiring and quite kick-ass. fuckin' tough. "what do you mean, slimmy?"

"i imagine that earth couldn't handle of that type of energy
you would fuck up gravity
alabama's red clay would be too jealous of you
and the stars would give up their place in fear
that they couldn't compare to you
and the sky would fall closer to the ground just to be next to you
baby
ain't nobody got to believe like i do"
--you

it's powerful, says me.

and i may be a slam poet sometimes, and mayhaps it clouds my interpretation, but i LOVED your delivery on the audio as well.

i wanna have an emcee battle with you about clouds and lemonade.



-----
"You Sensitive Bastard", Rob Sturma's latest book of poems, is available directly from the author. It's a pretty book with a real ISBN number and everything.

www.myspace.com/robsturma

  

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PhotoSynthesis
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16101 posts
Tue Jan-18-05 03:02 PM

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35. "Ummmmm -- ARCHIVE?"
In response to Reply # 0


          

B~Cuz!

1) Subject Matter
2) Content
3) Sentiments Contained Within
4) Wordplay -- Similes -- etc., etc.
5) Cuz I Likes! -- ;^)


Can I get an AMEN?

A guitar string vibrating, a measure of my soul, a breech in the silence --
I've always felt like words come through me & I write them down... they have no master --- gsquared ♥

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/2/photosynthesis_music.htm

  

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ASIEM
Charter member
4154 posts
Sun Jan-23-05 08:41 AM

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39. "RE: Ummmmm -- ARCHIVE?"
In response to Reply # 35
Sun Jan-23-05 08:47 AM

  

          

aaaaayyymen AAmen and AMEN, PHOTO
ok so there are several points of interests in the replies...as to disturbing,good it should be and there IMHO is no need to feel as if a mistake was made cause for real a baby does taste, touch, feel, smell, hear everything as we do and for that matter the piece is perfect. the intent and content are sublime and if it is disturbing to someone look inside themself and ask what influence am i under that my interpretation could be anything less than admirable for a piece so sensativley written? how could someone think this was anything less than a form of liberation? what is disturbing I will not say giving the benefit of doubt to those disturbed. this is without doubt a work that a woman can only give the highest honor too which is what i felt delricha was saying when she asked to share it at a venue...imagine that poets doin other poets pieces what an honor...
paperdoll this piece is as fragile as your name depicts so know this it don't need editing even what may appear a mistake is in truth perfect cause mis-carraige is the subject NOW MARINATE ON THAT FOR A MOMENT CRITICS!!!


ASIEM
"Kuun fiyah Kuun" Quran
(Be and it is)
" A writer takes his pen to write the words again that all in love is fair" Stevie Wonder
checkout these sites
http://4luvofpoetry.com
www.poetology.com

"keep pennin till the earth birth's your rightful seed then nurture it wit more ink..."
ASIEM
"Kuun fiyah Kuun" Quran
(Be and it is)
" A writer takes his pen to write the words again that all in love is fair" Stevie Wonder




www.myspace.com/asiem61

  

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blaXXX
Member since Dec 01st 2004
1649 posts
Sun Jan-23-05 08:27 AM

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37. "this..."
In response to Reply # 0


          

>i know that fleeting moment when life and death pull up
>chairs at your tea party
>one has the sugar and one has the spoon
>iíve been there, deciding on whether to stay or leave my
>mark scribbled on
>steamy mirrors
>i ainít mad at you for leaving


...was omniscient---to the fullest...

____ _____ _____

*--> www.soundclick.com/blaXXX <--*

*~* Go ahead! EXPERIENCE the latest non-Profit joint!*~*

____ _____ _____

blaXXX' breviaries: 2005---And we coulda saved more...if they ONLY KNEW they were Slaves
____

  

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delrica
Charter member
6889 posts
Thu Jan-27-05 09:35 AM

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40. "RE: for red sea babies."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

I'm leavin this up for another few days before I archive it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~o~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
RIP Simmon Teffera (1983-1/15/2003), you are always with us.

"Before I became a member of this group, I thought a Haiku was just a villian on the "Samauri Jack" cartoon." © Nowachaoticthing

"This Chapbook Was Made With Pilfered Office Products" by Delrica Andrews - Now on Sale
($6 including S & H) ... just email me or hit the inbox w/ your info (I do accept paypal payments)

■ ■ ■ ■ ■

----------------------
Cop my stuff, mayne!

My first chapbook: "This Chapbook Was Made With Pilfered Office Products" available now - $6.00

My 2nd chapbook, coming in 2007: "Orgasms and Ice Cream"

fmi: http://www.myspace.com/delrica

  

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ASIEM
Charter member
4154 posts
Thu Jan-27-05 09:59 AM

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41. "RE: for red sea babies."
In response to Reply # 40


  

          

the power in that can be ?
anyway not making paperdollpoet aforum for that can of worms I'll say this piece reads so smoothly about a controversial subject that it lends itself to prolific


ASIEM
"Kuun fiyah Kuun" Quran
(Be and it is)
" A writer takes his pen to write the words again that all in love is fair" Stevie Wonder
checkout these sites
http://4luvofpoetry.com
www.poetology.com

"keep pennin till the earth birth's your rightful seed then nurture it wit more ink..."
ASIEM
"Kuun fiyah Kuun" Quran
(Be and it is)
" A writer takes his pen to write the words again that all in love is fair" Stevie Wonder




www.myspace.com/asiem61

  

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paperdollpoet
Charter member
2238 posts
Thu Jan-27-05 12:00 PM

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42. "i had no idea..."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

...that this was still up & running.

but i am humbled beyond belief.

i wrote this as a "just in case" poem...because life is fickle like that. & i know sometimes you can't be blessed with good luck three times in a row...

who knew i would be right?

the words came before the tears and i got the chance to heal before my body could. so as i read it now, with different eyes and empty insides..it means so much more. but i also realize...this poem didn't even come close to capturing all the emotions that come with losing life inside of you.

thanks for getting it..

ps. ms. delrica, i missed that previous comment..but still the same, anytime you wanna share this with anyone..please do.


---
→ → →

www.sheflypaper.com

  

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Nowachaoticthing
Member since Dec 24th 2002
2178 posts
Thu Jan-27-05 12:10 PM

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43. "RE: i had no idea..."
In response to Reply # 42
Thu Jan-27-05 12:10 PM

  

          

I'm terribly sorry to hear about your loss...

I know that the words your used to illustrate this event couldn't possibly equal the emotions involved, yet still, you are eloquent and heartfelt in your writing.

I hope you heal soon.

"To be a poet is a condition, not a profession."
- Robert Frost

http://inevitabletruth.blogspot.com/
http://www.lulu.com/content/187759
http://www.hdfest.com/Barry/allreviewsbarry.html
http://wishbonec.wordpress.com/

  

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3rd i
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15831 posts
Sat Jan-29-05 02:54 PM

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44. "i avoided reading this piece"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

because i assumed what it was about from the title and i was right...and i didn't want to read about the lost because i visualised fetuses in biohazard bags waiting at hopital incinarators (ex sp).

i've experienced this loss. and i didn't want to think about it. this piece touched me. caressed my scarred womb. and released an emotion.

thank you.






myspace: http://profiles.myspace.com/users/7641819

www.spitfirepoetrygroup.com
http://www.soularmada.net/okaysistas/

http://www.okayplayer.com/chat.htm

http://briefcase.yahoo.com/tishanachipp

www.myspace.com/3rd_i

3rd i: so u gonna be my child's god parent
Dawgeatah: i already have 3
3rd i: yeah but do u have a black one..like pokemon gotta catch them all.

i am a self-mutilator
of the worst kind...
(c)MyLife

  

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