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Forum nameFreestyle Board Archives
Topic subjectThe one time I get it...
Topic URLhttp://board.okayplayer.com/okp.php?az=show_topic&forum=20&topic_id=1228&mesg_id=1232
1232, The one time I get it...
Posted by delrica, Sun Jan-23-05 05:11 AM
Figures the one time I get it...no one else does.

Lei, that was some powerful stuff. The red herring clue wise for me was:

"The world was not ready for you
I was not ready for you
My womb (and then my mind goes blank because I'm too lazy to hit the back button)"

That told me so much in those three lines.

FEEDBACK: There are some spelling mistakes and an extra word in one of the lines that could stand to be removed. I didn't think the last "and" needed to be there (but that's just my opinion). That piece is beyond powerful. I actually wanted to know if it would be ok for me to share this with my venue either tonight or next Sunday.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~o~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
RIP Simmon Teffera (1983-1/15/2003), you are always with us.

"Before I became a member of this group, I thought a Haiku was just a villian on the "Samauri Jack" cartoon." © Nowachaoticthing

"This Chapbook Was Made With Pilfered Office Products" by Delrica Andrews - Now on Sale
($6 including S & H) ... just email me or hit the inbox w/ your info (I do accept paypal payments)

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