The link didn't work (they wanted me to subscribe before they would let me on), but it tells me a lot that the article was in the NY Times. As you probably noticed, I was a bit suspicious of the source, but I do have greater trust in the objectivity of the NY Times.

When I was 18, convinced that I did not want children and not convinced that I wanted to use the birth control pill, I tried to arrange for a tubal ligation & my doctor wouldn't do it, because he was sure that I would change my mind. I didn't. Years later I one day awoke to the fact that I was old enough to be taken seriously and I got the ligation. In California, there is a legal requirement that consent to a tubal ligation be given at least 30 days prior to the surgery. This is in order to prevent coercion (there was some evidence that women -- particularly poor women with more than one child -- were being coerced into receiving ligations against their will or with impaired consent, during childbirth related procedures by doctors who presumptuously believed themselves to be doing these women a service. The 30 day requirement also provides women who make the decision suddenly, because of mishaps in their lives, some cooling off period during which they can change their minds). So I went for my initial consult with the surgeon who would perform the surgery, and she asked me my rationale for the ligation. I gave it to her, much more succinctly than I usually express myself on these boards, and she said, "You sound like you've thought this through a lot more than many women I see. Let's see, shall we schedule the surgery for 30 days from now?" I walked out of her office feeling as though I had been heard, really heard, for the first time.

All those years people would say to me "Oh, you'll change your mind." Think about something that you know about yourself. Just any old opinion that you've held consistently all your life. Like, let's say, you love strawberries. Or you love to read fiction. Or you feel strongly about the rights of the accused. Now imagine that any time the question arose -- and it wouldn't come up all that often, but it would come up every now and then -- and people were expressing their opinions and asking yours, whenever that happened and you said, "I love to read fiction" imagine if EVERY TIME that happened, someone said to you, "Oh, you'll change your mind about THAT as you get older."

Every time. I got to wondering at some point who I would be if I were a person who wanted children. I mean, it's not the only thing that defines my personality, but it is a part of me. Who would I be if that changed?

Having that experience repeated often over the course of years taught me a lot about respect and empowerment.

Thanks for listening.

Peace.

~ ~ ~
All meetings end in separation
All acquisition ends in dispersion
All life ends in death
- The Buddha

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='_'=

Every hundred years, all new people