REVIEW

KHAILFA BIN ZAYED AL NAHYAN 93.24, DR. BYRON 90.28

BOTH THESE EMO TEACHERS DIDN�T EVEN SCORE 94 POINTS. THE ONE WITH MORE POINTS PROLLY DIDN�T WATCH ANY FOOTBALL BECAUSE HE WAS READING AND THE OTHER WAS PROBABLY FACEDOWN IN A DOG. NOT ONLY WOULD JUICE NOT APPROVE OF THIS EMO RUSSELL BRAND LIKE PATHETIC PERFORMANCE BUT HE ALSO WOULD NOT BE THRILLED WITH THE DR WASTING HIS SUNDAY VACUUMING TO THE NEIGHBOORHOOD.

JUGGALO OF THE GAME: CHICKEN HUNTER COB
EMO QUEEN: DR FOR STARTING PIERCE

ERNIE2DOPE 131.76, HINDSIGHT5198 106.98

ANY EMO, BACKPACK WEARING, JABAWOCKEEZ FAN THAT LETS EARN BEAT YOU IN SOMETHING DESERVES TO HAVE THEIR RAMEN STOLEN. I HOPE YOU ENJOYED YOUR AUCUSTIC MUMFORD AND SONS SET WHILE YOUR QB BARELY OUTSCORED YOUR KICKER.

JUGGALO OF THE GAME: EDDIE LACY
EMO QUEEN: EARN

CHINESE BOL 131.48, MOD 138.30

EVEN IF THIS EMO BOL PLAYED EARN HE WOULDA LOST, THAT�S GOTTA SUCK MORE THAN FINDING OUT WAL MART IS OUT OF BEEF RAMEN. I�LL NEVER GET RIDING YOUR BIKE TO WORK CUZ YOU WANT TO, I�VE RODE MINE TO 7-11 FOR YEARS BUT IF I COULD DRIVE I WOULD. LOSERS.

JUGGALO OF THE GAME: DEANDRE HOPKINS
EMO QUEEN: DARRIUS HEYWARD-BEY

SARA 113.16, JUGGAGOAT 127.88

JUGGAGOAT TURNED OFF HIS OF MONSTERS AND MAN VYNIL JUST IN TIME TO SEND SHARH TO EMO&2. WE HAVENT HEARD FROM THE RHOLUMBUS PIONEER SINCE AND REALLY WHO CARES!! THIS BATTLE OF ARGYLE AND CHIPSOFMICRO WAS NOTHING BUT A TRUE JUGGALO BEATIN DOWN THE LOWER EMO CLASS.

JUGGALO OF THE GAME: ANDY DALTON
EMO QUEEN: ANDY MILONAKIS

ROBERT 127.10, VINER 119.3

I THINK KC BEAT THE GUY FROM PTP BUT I HAVE NO CLUE WHO ETHER ONE OF THESE CLEARLY EMO DUDES ARE. I BET THEY LOVE WOODY ALLEN MOVIES AND VACUUM A LOT THOUGH. THEY CERTAINTLY DON�T KNOW MUCH ABOUT WINNING. WINNING WITH AARON RODGERS IS LIKE LOSING WITH LAMAR MILLER OR FUCKING A CASHIER AT DOLLAR TREE: NOT THAT HARD. IM SURE THE EMO PLAYWRIGHT VINED ABOUT HOW GOOD HE WAS IN HIS OTHER LEAGUE THOUGH SO ITS NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL.

JUGGALO OF THE GAME: JUGGALO JONES
EMO QUEEN: OWNING 4 DOLPHINS

GAME OF LAST WEEK

VICTORIOUS VIOLENT CEEJ 97.52, LL 91.48

THAT EMO BITCH FROM PITTSBURGH JUST KEEPS ADDING UP THE LS AT THE END OF HIS NAME. HE SHOULD BE PROFESSIONALLLLLLLLLLLLL BY WEEK 5. POWERED BY A DOUBLE ORDER OF CHICKEN RAMEN I RECORDED A FRANCHISE HIGH IN POINTS AND SENT HIM TO THE CERE SECTION OF THE STANDINGS: BELOW I AND WARREN. I HOPE HE DIDN�T BREAK HIS TAPE DECK ON MONDAY NIGHT.

JUGGALO OF THE GAME: DAVID WILSON
EMO QUEEN: STATE OF PENCILVEINYA

EMO STANDINGS

WHY WOULD I PUT THE STANDING HERE? ALL YOU EMO POSTERS ARE SIGNED UP, CLEAN YOUR BLACKED RIMMED GLASSES AND LOOK YOURSELF.

WAIVERS
VIOLENT CEEJ WINS THE WEEK AND NED STARK COSTED ABOUT 6000 CASES OF RAMEN TOO MUCH. EMO PANIC BUTTON WAS HIT THERE.

PREVIEW

HINDSIGHT VS VINER
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fRS1BfAlysI
COPY AND PASTE VS. SINGING AND DANCING. CHICKEN RAMEN VS. LAMP RAMEN. PIRATES OF PENZANSE VS. PIRATES OF ECU. THE EMO WITH LAMAR MILLER WILL ULTIMATELY NOT HAVE THE LAST SONG.

BYRON VS ROBERT
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QoHu2oTuie0
IF THE DOCTOR GOES TO 0-3 WHICH HE WILL HE WILL BE RELEGATED TO WATCHING 106 & EMO WHILE ROBERT WILL START HIS SUPERBOWL GAME PLANE VES GOAT.

MOD VS. LLL
THIS LOST IS GONNA COST HIM 35 POINTS. GONNA BE HARD TO WALK DANCE ON REGGIES GRAVE WHEN YOURE BARIED TTOO. 3-0 BY DEFAYLT SHOULDN�T BE ALLOWED.

CHINESE BOL VS. JUGGAGOAT
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s28ISo0kz0E
ACUMEN, SIRRACHA 2 THINGS NEEDED FOR GREAT RAMEN. IF I WASN�T IN THIS LEAGUE THIS WOULD BE THE EMO MATCHUP OF THE WEEK. INSTEAD, JUGGAGOAT GOES TO 3-0

NEXT GUT TO BEAT SARAH VS. I DON�T TALK AFTER GETTING SMOKED
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aDpYYj0jdx0
IF SARAH CAN KEEP U2 OFF HIS HEADPHONES LONG ENOUGH HE MIGHT WIN. UNFORTUNATELY HE WILL BE TOO BUSY VACUUMING TO BEAT THE ASIACTIC TRANSPLANT WARRIOR. ANOTHER QUIET EMO WEEK ON THE BOARDS FROM MISTER ROUBMUS HEMSLEF.

JUGGALO SHOWDOWN OF THE WEEK
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=twPupwsitFA
SOMETIMES WHEN YOU�RE DOWN WITH CLOWN YOU GOTTA HAVE A SHOWDOWN. THIS WEEK ONE JUGG MADE TOO MANY SUPERIOR MOVES TO NOT GO TO 2-1, SEEIN ERNIE LOSE IN PERSON IS TOO MUCH FUN. ONE JUGG NEEDS TO GO BACK TO THE LAB, GET HIS COINS UP TO PAY HIS TAB. THIS CLOWN STAYS DOWN WITH JUGGS,HE DONT WASTE TIME CLEANIN UP AFTER PUGGS.THE TOP CHICKEN HUNTIN TANDEM IS DIVIDED THIS WEEK, IT WONT TAKE MUCH FOR VIOLENT CEEJ TO EXTEND THIS VICTOURIOUS STREAK. THE EXCUSES WILL COME BY MONDAY NIGHT, NO NEED TO WORRY, BEIN EMO IS ALWAYS A SCARY SIGHT. IF YOURE BAFFLED BY THE JUGGSTAPOSTION OF CLOWN WITH THIS MUCH KNOWLEDGE WE CAN TAKE YOU THE FARMS BEAT YOUR ASS JUGG STYLE BY A DROP OUT OF COMMUNITY COLLEGE. TO ALL YOU EMO BITCHES NOT DOWN WITH THE CLOWN, I GOT TOO WORDS FOR YOU ALL.

*DROPS PLASTIC SPORK*

---------------------------------------
Are You Down With the CLOWN??
<<<<<He is!!!

Faygo or Die!!!
CHECK OUT THE GATHERING>>>>http://www.derekerdman.com/ilovemilkshakes/august2009/DRK_CRNVL/juggalo_gathering_2009.htm

*applauds*
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Y'all stupid...should've tanked for Lebron/Wiggins in 2014 -Rex LongFellow

It's only funny till someone gets mad. Then it's hilarious.

My movies: http://russellhainline.com
My movie reviews: https://letterboxd.com/RussellHFilm/
My beer TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thebeertravelguide

"Tell the guys that im planning on debuting my blowhards podcast arround week 5. Or 6...1. sarah 2.the proffessor of yoga and 3. Flannel boy will get it the hardest ...kc and joe melatio are. My only friends"

(All spelling, spacing, and punctuation replicated precisely for posterity.)

My movies: http://russellhainline.com
My movie reviews: https://letterboxd.com/RussellHFilm/
My beer TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thebeertravelguide

"i smack clowns with nouns, punch herbs with verbs..."

emo fuck. you are the one face down on a dog right now.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=xhfhVSUCLY4‎;

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z0ZUltbJzSA

"i smack clowns with nouns, punch herbs with verbs..."

KC's Pentium Processor added Chris Ogbonnaya RB - CLE and dropped Robert Turbin RB - SEA
3 minutes ago via Mobile Device


Bernard Jarvis Green Ellis LLC added Willis McGahee RB and dropped Mike Tolbert RB - CAR
5 minutes ago


THE CEREFFUSIONS added Bobby Rainey RB - CLE and dropped Michael Bush RB - CHI

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(will probably be dropped in days, but why the hell not)

My movies: http://russellhainline.com
My movie reviews: https://letterboxd.com/RussellHFilm/
My beer TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thebeertravelguide

http://youtu.be/DhnLpA-pszo

----

1) NYU Football - Last Week: 7

In a stunning turn of events, smuts gets the stat corrected Week One Win and follows up with a nice performance in Week 2. If Brady gets going, and Hopkins proves a useful flex, will be very tough to beat.

2) One Sixteen - LW: 1

Still looking for that second back, but the Holy Trinity of Rodgers/AP/Juilo will keep him in any game.

3) AM Gohards - LW: 6

Despite in game injuries to top two backs, but up a cool 131 with Vick on the bench. Moreno emerging helps depth. Deshaun Jackson IS that good.

4) Vanessa Lane Bryant - LW: 4

Tough luck loss hitting 130+. Still very reliant on 3 pass catchers from one team and DMC's injury seems inevitable.

5) Harbor City Whoo Ride - LW: 10

Cant argue with wins. Despite a glaring lack of studliness beyond Marshawn and a banged up Andre, the acumen king keeps rolling.

6) Generic Team Name - LW: 1

While Kap wont play Seattle every week, the unsurprising loss of SJax will put operation stash to the test.

7) Cam Bandinos - LW: 3

Only fell this far due to the T-Rich trade. Ridley looked uninspiring yet again. Jared Cook went back to being Jared Cook.

8) The Cereffusions - LW: 5

Should be lower after that shameful loss, but there's alot of awfulness in this league. Would be better off if Reggae Bush would just sit and give Joique a full workload. Alas, they'll split, making Sarah's backfield even worse.

9) KC's Pentium Processor - LW: 8

Lamar Miller showed some pep, which should give Frank a glimmer of hope as there's definitely some talent here. Just need to see it result in some.....results.

10) Bernard Jarvis Green Ellis LLC - LW: 10

Was on cloud 9 after getting the Cere of the year then his No. 2 back was relegated to handcuff status. Pour out a lil faygo.

11) Juice is Loose 2014 - LW: 11

The Ray Rice voodoo apparently wasnt quite enough, and this team is still ridiculously bland. Needs Gronk back stat.

12) The ProfessionaLLs - LW: 12

Amazingly worse than the keeperless campaign of 2012. A disgrace to the league.

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Great breakdown.

http://i.imgur.com/vPqCzVU.jpg

the object is to win..

not lose and talk about er'body else but yo losin azz...

lololol...

In fact he should relax and take the rest of the season off.

---------------------------------------
Are You Down With the CLOWN??
<<<<<He is!!!

Faygo or Die!!!
CHECK OUT THE GATHERING>>>>http://www.derekerdman.com/ilovemilkshakes/august2009/DRK_CRNVL/juggalo_gathering_2009.htm

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my team is nowhere near last year's disaster. other than charles, i'm better at every single position, bench included. substantially in most cases. if i can weather these first few weeks of basically everything going wrong-- get brees to start paying those 3rd round bills, get amendola back, bell and gio rolling, mojo and wilson working their way back to average-- i'm gonna be a serious, serious problem by midseason. on the other hand, there's a handful of teams in the league that are one injury away-- and not even a major one-- from being forced to start guys like leonard hankerson as their WR2.

"i smack clowns with nouns, punch herbs with verbs..."

D-E-S-E-A-N

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My movies: http://russellhainline.com
My movie reviews: https://letterboxd.com/RussellHFilm/
My beer TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thebeertravelguide

yep...

http://fantasy.nfl.com/league/409069/players#playersHomeList=playersHomeList%2C%2Fleague%2F409069%2Fplayers%253FplayerStatus%253Davailable%2526position%253D1%2526statCategory%253Dstats%2526statSeason%253D2013%2526statType%253DseasonStats%2526statWeek%253D3%2Creplace

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(c) andy dalton/eli manning owners, week 3, 2012

"i smack clowns with nouns, punch herbs with verbs..."

and Faygo. Doucher.

*PUTS ON BRANDON JENNINGS ICP HOCKEY JERSEY, SIZE XXXXL*

MSG, CPA, ICP
ALL THOSE LETTERS AND STILL A JUGGALO YOULL NEVER BE
SHOCKING SINCE U EAT SO MUCH CHEESE
BUT YOUR MOMS IS WELCOME AS LONG SHE STAYS ON HER KNEES
WALMART IS WHERE I MET HER, PIMPIN SAMPLES OF RAMEN
HER HAIRNET & MUSTACHE HAD THIS JUGGADICK THROBBIN
SHE SAID U BEEN EMO SINCE DORSEY LEVENS ROOKIE YEAR
YOUR ROOM STILL HAS A POSTER OF MARKY MARK IN FEAR
YOU NEED TO GO HELP HER WITH HER VACUUMIN
CUZ YOU SURE AS JUGGAHELL CANT BE IN THIS LEAGUE WITH YOUR LACK OF ACUMEN
I HOPE JUAN DAY YOU CAN GET A CAR
CUZ THE ROAD TO THE JUGGALYPSE IS NOT CLOSE.

*DROPKICKS 2 LITER OF MOONMIST*

---------------------------------------
Are You Down With the CLOWN??
<<<<<He is!!!

Faygo or Die!!!
CHECK OUT THE GATHERING>>>>http://www.derekerdman.com/ilovemilkshakes/august2009/DRK_CRNVL/juggalo_gathering_2009.htm

how do I tell him that no one FB chats?

----
bshelly

"You (Fisher) could get fired, Les Snead could get fired, Kevin Demoff could get fired, but I will always be Eric Dickerson.” (c) The God

---------------------------------------------------------

Thanks for being too cool for school.

---------------------------------------------------------

#tightenup

You gon' live forever
Whether you want to or not
Some of us gon' end up holy
Some of us gon' end up hot.....

the Jaguars, the Giants, or this game between me and Will.

(The answer is the Jaguars. But still. Yeesh.)

My movies: http://russellhainline.com
My movie reviews: https://letterboxd.com/RussellHFilm/
My beer TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thebeertravelguide

--------

you see it.

"i smack clowns with nouns, punch herbs with verbs..."

--------

http://i.imgur.com/vPqCzVU.jpg

---------------------------------------------------------

Sigh.

My movies: http://russellhainline.com
My movie reviews: https://letterboxd.com/RussellHFilm/
My beer TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thebeertravelguide

only cere gets to win with 74 points.

--------

Might be a long season for the ol' Processor.

My movies: http://russellhainline.com
My movie reviews: https://letterboxd.com/RussellHFilm/
My beer TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thebeertravelguide

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http://i.imgur.com/vPqCzVU.jpg

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second week in a row i've had an RB exit before the half due to injury. franklin beasting was just salt in the wound.

"i smack clowns with nouns, punch herbs with verbs..."

----
bshelly

"You (Fisher) could get fired, Les Snead could get fired, Kevin Demoff could get fired, but I will always be Eric Dickerson.” (c) The God

http://i.imgur.com/vPqCzVU.jpg

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Bennie Cunningham took an injured Richardson's spot....

Pead is the 3rd string RB on the rams....he got some garbage time receptions because he will be used as a 3rd down back..

but it's pretty bad when 1 year you're a 2nd round pick...the next year you've been suspended for substance abuse and get beat out by an undrafted rookie from Middle Tennessee state....

we'll have to take that with a grain of salt.

Oh, and you should have started Dalton. Panther D is solid.

---------------------------------------------------------

like I been saying...

he got beat out in camp by 2 rookies...1 undrafted..

he's damn near done...

Good lord.

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That Finley injury killed me in this and two OTHER leagues.
I was starting to regret the bears over the Seahawks d

So I need Peyton to play well Monday and McFadden to play well so that the Denver d doesn't do much.

---
"though time has passed, im still the future" (c) black thought

secondary starting dudes off the street...

but eventually.... the Giants not being able to run the ball....and the O-line looking horrible....was a matter of time before this would happen..

but I got no problems playing Dalton...he's played well against some pretty decent defenses..

anyway... the Broncos D punkin the Raiders at Denver is definitely a possibility....

but i gotta hope when they punk the raiders d Peyton gets more chances to put up #s.

They get too big a lead they just run the ball maybe.


But big leads also yield comebacks a lot of times like this Pitt game - and how the Jags even ended up putting pts on the board.

Giants were different story

---
"though time has passed, im still the future" (c) black thought

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"i smack clowns with nouns, punch herbs with verbs..."

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The third to be entered if I somehow lose to The ProfessionaLs next week.

Everything that could have gone wrong has gone wrong. A winnable game against Will lost because my three "studs" (to use the term loosely) combined for barely thirty points and no one else broke double figures. Vereen gone after Week 1-- no clue why I'm even still holding on to him at this point. Dolphins backfield: shame on me. I may soon be starting some combination of Charles Clay, Brian Hartline and Danny Woodhead, because the players currently starting anger me with their mere existence.

I'll wait until next week to enter full blown panic, because nothing cleanses the palate like back-to-back bouts with The ProfessionaLs and The Professor. If I can emerge from that 2-3, and I can get anything resembling signs of consistency and/or life from the starters I love on paper, then there may be hope for this season yet.

Besides, I usually start 3-0 or 3-1, and look where it's gotten me in the past. Maybe this time I'm taking the reverse approach.

#rantzone

#coolstorybro

My movies: http://russellhainline.com
My movie reviews: https://letterboxd.com/RussellHFilm/
My beer TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thebeertravelguide

But I've been racking my brain trying to figure the logic of starting ANY defense IN New Orleans, let alone the Cards?

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And New Orleans had scored an average of under 20 points the first two weeks of the regular season... seemed plausible that the Arizona secondary could manage at least in that ballpark. 20-20 hindsight.

I was hoping a top ten fantasy DST with Kevin Kolb under center on offense would improve thanks to less time on the field with a marginally improved offense at worst. And with super-bummy Tampa Bay on deck next week, I figured Arizona would probably get me 10 fantasy points at worst on a couple of sacks, a turnover or two, and keeping Brees relatively human, and I wouldn't have to drop them before the tasty matchup approaching. I wasn't terribly far off, mind you... but in a game where I needed every point I could get? Yeah. Not good.

But then again, I also didn't figure Arizona would get under 200 yards passing in a game where it seemed inevitable that Palmer would be throwing a lot. I also didn't figure RGIII would go without a TD, didn't figure Jeffrey would get more receptions than Marshall, didn't figure Miami would throw nearly three times as often as they'd run (with only one reception to Miller, UGH), didn't figure Tony Gonzalez would get three receptions opening drive and be a ghost the rest of the game.

I didn't figure a lot. So yeah, it wouldn't have mattered. Five more DST points and it would've been my team leader this week. *insert vomit emoji* Starting someone else there maybe would've gotten me to 85 or sniffing 90-- still pathetic. Just a terrible week. Probably my lowest scoring week ever.

My movies: http://russellhainline.com
My movie reviews: https://letterboxd.com/RussellHFilm/
My beer TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thebeertravelguide

http://i.imgur.com/vPqCzVU.jpg

I didn't expect Arizona to win. I just expected the defense to keep New Orleans under 30. If they do, the Cards DST has double-digit points instead of eight and this isn't even a topic of conversation, really.

Although I'm grateful it's a topic of conversation as it serves to distract from how shitty the more important players on my roster were and generally have been.

My movies: http://russellhainline.com
My movie reviews: https://letterboxd.com/RussellHFilm/
My beer TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thebeertravelguide

http://i.imgur.com/vPqCzVU.jpg

Just thought it was odd.

---------------------------------------------------------

>The third to be entered if I somehow lose to The
>ProfessionaLs next week.

please keep underestimating my team. please think next week will be a cakewalk. please ignore the fact that i'm gonna outscore you this week by about 50 points. oh, and look there's mojo and the green calvin johnson on my bench, just getting warmed up. your best hope of beating me, like everyone's best hope, was to play me in the first two weeks.

as for your team, it's a who's who of my do not draft list. wounded knee-G3, sober lamar, old man wayne, older man gonzalez... yep, that's about all of 'em. 0-4 is happening, franklin. get used to it. only question for you next week is which half of miami's perfectly split, equally ineffective backfield you'll run up against me. or will you talk yourself into danny "lol" woodhead? the suspense is killing me.

"i smack clowns with nouns, punch herbs with verbs..."

To underestimate your team would be to estimate mine as a team of evident worth. Which after this week's debacle I'm not about to do.

However, I'd start almost anyone above a Jaguar. My DND list consisted of every Jaguar.

My movies: http://russellhainline.com
My movie reviews: https://letterboxd.com/RussellHFilm/
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I know I used to always avoid Fred Taylor when he was there, and it just spilled over to all Jag players.....



You gon' live forever
Whether you want to or not
Some of us gon' end up holy
Some of us gon' end up hot.....

"i smack clowns with nouns, punch herbs with verbs..."

>please keep underestimating my team. please think next week
>will be a cakewalk. please ignore the fact that i'm gonna
>outscore you this week by about 50 points. oh, and look
>there's mojo and the green calvin johnson on my bench, just
>getting warmed up. your best hope of beating me, like
>everyone's best hope, was to play me in the first two weeks.

What is Mojo getting warmed up for? He averaged two yards a carry and scored after a turnover put the ball at the 2. You're obsessed with names. He's gonna struggle all season long.

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Any confidence in a Jaguar is admirable, for one reason or another.

My movies: http://russellhainline.com
My movie reviews: https://letterboxd.com/RussellHFilm/
My beer TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thebeertravelguide