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Subject: "does anybody here watch I May Destroy You on HBO?" Previous topic | Next topic
ThaTruth
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Tue Jul-21-20 12:58 PM

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"does anybody here watch I May Destroy You on HBO?"


          

crazy show its all over the place but its like watching a car wreck its hard to look away everybody on that show is all jacked up lol

  

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Topic Outline
Subject Author Message Date ID
RE: does anybody here watch I May Destroy You on HBO?
Jul 21st 2020
1
there's a thread in PTP
Jul 21st 2020
2
I think its fantastic
Jul 21st 2020
3
Man this show gets crazier and crazier
Jul 27th 2020
4
Best show of 2020. Michela is a freaking genius.
Jul 27th 2020
5
I died when ol boy slid that passport under the door lol
Jul 27th 2020
6
      RE: OMG
Jul 27th 2020
7
I had to watch the ep. 8 opening monologue twice
Jul 28th 2020
8
masterfully written
Jul 29th 2020
11
this show is brilliant. so glad she fought for full control.
Jul 28th 2020
9
I mean, what's the right message to take from the show?
Jul 29th 2020
10
      RE: I mean, what's the right message to take from the show?
Jul 29th 2020
12
      the finale already happened in the UK.
Jul 29th 2020
15
           nah i'll wait. i enjoy having the week to marinate
Jul 29th 2020
16
                valid
Jul 29th 2020
23
      he definitely raped her what the fuck are you talking about?
Jul 29th 2020
13
      I don't even think Michaela Coel thinks that Zain definitely raped her.
Jul 29th 2020
17
           I won't call you names. But I don't take your opinion seriously
Jul 29th 2020
18
           But you are the one assuming what Coel thought.
Jul 29th 2020
22
                b/c removing a condom without someone knowing is a form of rape...
Jul 30th 2020
28
           let me cut through your bs right quick, wife or no wife
Jul 29th 2020
19
                Rape is rape . That's profound.
Jul 29th 2020
21
                     not sure if you were snarking but whatever LOL
Jul 29th 2020
24
                     how could Arabella see him take it off
Jul 29th 2020
25
                     I think each scenario the show has posited has been
Jul 30th 2020
29
      You should look into her interviews.
Jul 29th 2020
14
           wait, what?
Jul 30th 2020
30
                Would you?
Jul 31st 2020
36
i finished it a couple of weeks ago
Jul 29th 2020
20
Do we ever find out who done it?
Aug 14th 2020
48
      Still 2 episodes left
Aug 14th 2020
49
           I know. I am trying to get someone who has finished it to tell if we eve...
Aug 14th 2020
51
I told y'all about these dudes on here
Jul 29th 2020
26
word
Jul 30th 2020
27
      RE: word
Jul 30th 2020
31
           i'm amazed that you think i'd click any link you post LOL
Jul 30th 2020
32
                RE: i'm amazed that you think i'd click any link you post LOL
Jul 31st 2020
45
not for everyone
Jul 30th 2020
33
This is how I felt about Euphoria. I didn’t even finish episode one
Jul 30th 2020
34
I got through 3-4 of Euphoria
Aug 16th 2020
58
Turn on the subtitles.
Jul 30th 2020
35
nothing is for everyone, though
Jul 31st 2020
39
Legit curious here...is this a comedy? satire? "Dark" comedy? I keep see...
Jul 31st 2020
37
NO!
Jul 31st 2020
38
Thanks...am I misinterpreting it being presented as a comedy??
Jul 31st 2020
40
      more like a dramedy
Jul 31st 2020
41
           Dark dramedy
Jul 31st 2020
42
                dark, quirky dra"medy".
Jul 31st 2020
44
It is drama. There are some funny moments though...when they were
Jul 31st 2020
43
tonight’s episode was deep
Aug 03rd 2020
46
that moment when she turned her words on herself...like wow
Aug 03rd 2020
47
A lot of people are hard on Terry saying that she’s not a good friend....
Aug 14th 2020
50
Yeah, I’m also having a hard time determining
Aug 14th 2020
52
      It was known that Simon wasn’t shit that’s why Kwame told her to...
Aug 14th 2020
53
Tough watch. Glad I finished it tho.
Aug 15th 2020
54
I just wanna know why yall get full access to HBO shows
Aug 16th 2020
55
Right lol
Aug 16th 2020
56
It aired earlier across the pond nm
Aug 16th 2020
57
Ep. 11
Aug 17th 2020
59
I shouted "NO" at my phone and
Aug 17th 2020
60
i think she knew she had the power cuz he showed up
Aug 24th 2020
62
thinking about Ben staying by himself in the courtyard
Aug 18th 2020
61
Please explain that last episode to me *spoilers* welcome
Aug 24th 2020
63
How was expecting Kwame to appear in the last scenes, I was totally...
Aug 25th 2020
64
i like to think i'm fairly smart. no genius, by any means.
Aug 25th 2020
65
RE: Please explain that last episode to me *spoilers* welcome
Aug 25th 2020
66
I think your right
Aug 25th 2020
67
Yes! I also think she was jabbing at the audience.
Aug 25th 2020
69
for sure
Aug 25th 2020
70
^THIS^
Aug 25th 2020
73
okay, i kinda got SOME of that from just watching...but I appreciate...
Aug 25th 2020
72
Yes, that was my takeaway
Aug 26th 2020
74
RE: I've been thinking about this and, the last ending where she just do...
Aug 31st 2020
82
I am sorry to admit this but the last episode that I really enjoyed
Aug 25th 2020
68
in your defense, that was an extraordinary ep
Aug 25th 2020
71
Brilliant
Aug 26th 2020
75
same for me
Aug 26th 2020
76
      I think Netflix took it down (in saltiness because she went with
Aug 26th 2020
77
      damn...
Aug 26th 2020
78
      chewing gum wasn't as good
Aug 26th 2020
79
      I loved the first season.
Aug 26th 2020
81
      she's also good in Black Earth Rising
Aug 26th 2020
80
I binged this weekend. Great show
Aug 31st 2020
83
he gave her that pootie tang bowl of milk treatment. mans was wild
Aug 31st 2020
84
What do people think of the golden globes snub?
Feb 04th 2021
85
Absolutely ridiculous
Feb 04th 2021
86
I hate that she won't have 'GG nominated/winning' in front of her name
Feb 04th 2021
87

PROMO
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Tue Jul-21-20 01:15 PM

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1. "RE: does anybody here watch I May Destroy You on HBO?"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

https://board.okayplayer.com/okp.php?az=show_topic&forum=4&topic_id=13360584&mesg_id=13360584&page=

  

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thegodcam
Member since Oct 22nd 2004
41487 posts
Tue Jul-21-20 02:14 PM

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2. "there's a thread in PTP"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

*******************************************************
i will not let finite disappointment undermine infinite hope
- Cory Booker

Football is a simple game; 22 men chase a ball for 90 minutes, and at the end the Germans always win
- Gary Lineker

  

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Bambino Grande
Member since Mar 14th 2019
965 posts
Tue Jul-21-20 02:22 PM

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3. "I think its fantastic"
In response to Reply # 0


          

  

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ThaTruth
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Mon Jul-27-20 09:34 PM

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4. "Man this show gets crazier and crazier "
In response to Reply # 0


          

  

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Buddy_Gilapagos
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Mon Jul-27-20 10:18 PM

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5. "Best show of 2020. Michela is a freaking genius."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

I was just complaining about black TV/Film not trying to challenge their audiences anymore and then along coms this show.

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

  

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ThaTruth
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Mon Jul-27-20 10:42 PM

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6. "I died when ol boy slid that passport under the door lol"
In response to Reply # 5


          

  

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SuiteLady
Member since Oct 19th 2004
16191 posts
Mon Jul-27-20 11:34 PM

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7. "RE: OMG"
In response to Reply # 6


  

          

♥ Inescapably Me ♥

"Love is never any better than the lover" Toni Morrison (The Bluest Eye)

  

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shamus
Member since Oct 18th 2004
4465 posts
Tue Jul-28-20 02:55 AM

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8. "I had to watch the ep. 8 opening monologue twice"
In response to Reply # 0
Tue Jul-28-20 03:01 AM by shamus

  

          

I didn't particularly love the way it was delivered, but the message...oof

about the difficulty of putting language to gray boundaries. about being called crazy.

it brought to mind a lot of past shit


--
the untold want by life and land ne'er granted
now voyager sail thou forth to seek and find

  

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Damali
Member since Sep 12th 2002
35854 posts
Wed Jul-29-20 01:07 PM

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11. "masterfully written"
In response to Reply # 8


          

>I didn't particularly love the way it was delivered, but the
>message...oof

she's still struggling to make sense of being sexually assaulted twice...the delivery was perfect because she is still having these out of body experiences when talking in the group...its when she's the most viscerally close to what happened to her...Michaela is a master at this shit and it blows my mind
>
>about the difficulty of putting language to gray boundaries.
>about being called crazy.
>
>it brought to mind a lot of past shit

same here.

d

  

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Brotha Sun
Member since Dec 31st 2009
6778 posts
Tue Jul-28-20 08:00 AM

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9. "this show is brilliant. so glad she fought for full control."
In response to Reply # 0


          

i hope people take away the right message from it.

"They used to call me Baby Luke....but now? The whole damn 2 Liiiive Crew."

  

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Buddy_Gilapagos
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49336 posts
Wed Jul-29-20 10:26 AM

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10. "I mean, what's the right message to take from the show?"
In response to Reply # 9


  

          

She devles deeply into complex issues of sex and consent but not clear where she lands on them other than these are complex issues...which is a good enough message in itself.

I want to let this post breath and people to weigh in on the brilliance of the show before it deteriorates when we start discussing issues like, did Zain actually rape her?


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

  

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Damali
Member since Sep 12th 2002
35854 posts
Wed Jul-29-20 01:10 PM

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12. "RE: I mean, what's the right message to take from the show?"
In response to Reply # 10


          

>She devles deeply into complex issues of sex and consent but
>not clear where she lands on them other than these are complex
>issues...which is a good enough message in itself.

this is true...plus the show isn't over. we can't yet say for sure where "she" lands (especially since i don't know if you're talking about Michaela Coel or Arabella), so yeah..

>I want to let this post breath and people to weigh in on the
>brilliance of the show before it deteriorates when we start
>discussing issues like, did Zain actually rape her?

um, there's nothing to discuss there tho. and nobody even asked that question in this post or any other i saw on this board so why you even put that bs into the ether?

d

  

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Brotha Sun
Member since Dec 31st 2009
6778 posts
Wed Jul-29-20 02:55 PM

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15. "the finale already happened in the UK."
In response to Reply # 12


          

If you're impatient like me and dont mind being a pirate i recommend diving in.

"They used to call me Baby Luke....but now? The whole damn 2 Liiiive Crew."

  

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Damali
Member since Sep 12th 2002
35854 posts
Wed Jul-29-20 03:21 PM

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16. "nah i'll wait. i enjoy having the week to marinate"
In response to Reply # 15


          

  

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Brotha Sun
Member since Dec 31st 2009
6778 posts
Wed Jul-29-20 05:08 PM

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23. "valid"
In response to Reply # 16


          

"They used to call me Baby Luke....but now? The whole damn 2 Liiiive Crew."

  

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CherNic
Member since Aug 18th 2005
37156 posts
Wed Jul-29-20 01:41 PM

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13. "he definitely raped her what the fuck are you talking about?"
In response to Reply # 10


  

          

  

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Buddy_Gilapagos
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Wed Jul-29-20 03:59 PM

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17. "I don't even think Michaela Coel thinks that Zain definitely raped her. "
In response to Reply # 13


  

          

She definitely didn't present it as such in the show.

The character certainly didn't walk from the encounter thinking she had been raped.

And even from the scene itself, it wasn't clear that Zain was lying about not knowing that she wasn't aware that he had taken the condom off. He didn't hide the fact that he removed it (if he were trying to deceive her, there was no reason he told her what happened when he did).

She seemed annoyed by the incident but it didn't stop her from dating him. And it wasn't anything he did that made her change her mind about the incident. It was based on something she heard about online. There was no indication or confirmation that what she had read about online was what Zain actually did but of course this would have a huge impact on someone who was already suffering the Trauma of rape.

She discusses it with a police officer who says yes its rape in this jurisdiction, but wouldn't be rape in other jurisdictions.

She didn't confront him or discuss it with him instead she got the confirmation she needed from a nebulous conversation with another woman who could be interpreted as saying anything from he gets around to he is a rapist.

Then the episode ends (or is it the next) with the comfort of the online likes.

And the next episode has the story of a woman leading a rape support group, who happens to have falsely accused a black kid of rape (and Arabella knows it).


There is definitely a way to tell the story in a very straight forward way where there is no doubt that Zain had raped Arabella.

In fact, she shows it with Kwame and the episode shows a clear contrast between how Kwame was treated as a black gay man and her accusation.

but Coel painstakingly crafts a story that avoids such black and white storytelling.

I mean I guess this is the part where you tell me I'm this horrible misogynist but for what its worth my wife watched the episode and felt sorry for Zain having been publically confronted like he was.




**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

  

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CherNic
Member since Aug 18th 2005
37156 posts
Wed Jul-29-20 04:22 PM

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18. "I won't call you names. But I don't take your opinion seriously"
In response to Reply # 17


  

          

You can't assume what Michaela thought. It doesn't really matter what your wife thought in this context because she's not posting, you are.

If anything this show makes it clear that rape isn't black or white....I'm also speaking as someone who has seen the entire series. But...I'm done here. Hope you enjoy the rest of the show.

  

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Buddy_Gilapagos
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Wed Jul-29-20 05:03 PM

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22. "But you are the one assuming what Coel thought. "
In response to Reply # 18


  

          

My point is it's unclear/ambiguous, not black or white what the filmmaker thought.

You start off by saying it was "definitely rape" and then end off saying its not "black or white"?

How do those two points go together?


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

  

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CherNic
Member since Aug 18th 2005
37156 posts
Thu Jul-30-20 10:25 AM

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28. "b/c removing a condom without someone knowing is a form of rape..."
In response to Reply # 22


  

          

why is that hard to understand?

  

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Damali
Member since Sep 12th 2002
35854 posts
Wed Jul-29-20 04:32 PM

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19. "let me cut through your bs right quick, wife or no wife"
In response to Reply # 17


          

the actions depicted in the series is rape.

Zain removed his condom without getting her consent. him telling her afterward doesn't change what he did

rape is still rape even when the rapist is sorry or cute or sympathetic or honest about the rape

its still rape

rape is rape whether one jurisidiction says it is or another doesn't

rape is still rape even when the victim is unsure, or keeps dating the person, or presses charges or doesn't press charges

rape is still rape even if your wife watched the scene and felt sorry for him getting called out

rape is rape.

d

  

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Buddy_Gilapagos
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Wed Jul-29-20 04:57 PM

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21. "Rape is rape . That's profound. "
In response to Reply # 19


  

          

The less complicated answer is if Zain had reasonably thought she saw him or had consented to him removing his condom then it would not be rape.

What's interesting to me is that the show is doing the exact opposite of presenting the idea that "rape is rape" and is instead presenting many different scenarios with complex issues around sex and consent.

Another example would be did Kwame violate the white girl by not letting her know that he was gay when it was clearly something she would not have consented to doing if she had known. Did she have a right to know that?

Again, something I am sure you have a simple POV on but I don't think the show presented it that easily.




**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

  

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Damali
Member since Sep 12th 2002
35854 posts
Wed Jul-29-20 05:35 PM

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24. "not sure if you were snarking but whatever LOL"
In response to Reply # 21
Wed Jul-29-20 05:36 PM by Damali

          

>The less complicated answer is if Zain had reasonably thought
>she saw him or had consented to him removing his condom then
>it would not be rape.
>
>What's interesting to me is that the show is doing the exact
>opposite of presenting the idea that "rape is rape" and is
>instead presenting many different scenarios with complex
>issues around sex and consent.

Yes, but don't get it twisted...her storytelling is magnificent and nuanced but i think what you're missing is the impact of the frame of reference... i'm assuming you know Michaela was drugged and raped during her time writing season 2 of Chewing Gum? she's giving us a glimpse into the confusion, self-doubt and self-loathing she experienced...so everything you're seeing should really be interpreted from that lens

that's all i'm saying. you're coming off like you're looking for outs in real life... you seem a bit too excited about these grey areas. and that's offputting to me.

>Another example would be did Kwame violate the white girl by
>not letting her know that he was gay when it was clearly
>something she would not have consented to doing if she had
>known. Did she have a right to know that?

No and no. that's like saying a married man violated me cuz he didn't tell me he had a wife before we fucked LOL no. he lied..he didn't violate her..so not the same thing dude, come on

yikes.

>Again, something I am sure you have a simple POV on but I
>don't think the show presented it that easily.
>

but to me, the show presents these things very clearly. if you're looking to be comforted by grey areas, then that's what you're going to find.

d


  

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luminous
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Wed Jul-29-20 05:50 PM

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25. "how could Arabella see him take it off"
In response to Reply # 21


  

          

when she was turned around and facing away from him?

--
Sometimes you have to look reality in the face and say 'No!'
-Ben (Reaper)

If you need any help, don't. Hesitate to ask.

  

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Teknontheou
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Thu Jul-30-20 10:31 AM

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29. "I think each scenario the show has posited has been "
In response to Reply # 21
Thu Jul-30-20 10:35 AM by Teknontheou

  

          

sexual assault and/or rape (yes, Kwame too). The show is moreso challenging the narrative that perpetrators can't also be sympathetic protagonists. Or, that it's important that we scrub away how much we like or are rootng for or identify with someone (or disklike their victim - like with the two white girls, or Biagio) when assessing whether they did something wrong. There's really not much or anything murky or complex about the assaults themselves.

  

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Brotha Sun
Member since Dec 31st 2009
6778 posts
Wed Jul-29-20 02:53 PM

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14. "You should look into her interviews."
In response to Reply # 10


          

these are complex
>issues...which is a good enough message in itself.

No it isnt. "This is complex" means nothing.


People should take away from the series that there's no such thing as a perfect victim and thinking someone needs to be blameless or even likable to be sympathized with is dangerous

that relationships/trauma/victimhood/life is not linear. we're not existing in a novel where the arcs are clean and coherent, so practicing discernment and patience is vital.

Sexual violence, like all things, exists on a spectrum; and often people rely on "Grey areas" to absolve abusers and do nothing for victims


(Spoiler alert for the finale) There's no perfect ending after someone is harmed, because the impact doesnt go away. Thinking with a communal lens (not leaving your very drugged and drunk friend in a club) will prevent the harm being done in the first place.



I think she strategically left certain themes open for interpretation because you get more resistance when your stance is explicit (i highly doubt TheTruth would enjoy this show if she went the on-the-nose route like Dear White People)

"They used to call me Baby Luke....but now? The whole damn 2 Liiiive Crew."

  

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ThaTruth
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Thu Jul-30-20 10:37 AM

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30. "wait, what?"
In response to Reply # 14


          


>I think she strategically left certain themes open for
>interpretation because you get more resistance when your
>stance is explicit (i highly doubt TheTruth would enjoy this
>show if she went the on-the-nose route like Dear White
>People)

  

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Brotha Sun
Member since Dec 31st 2009
6778 posts
Fri Jul-31-20 07:01 AM

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36. "Would you?"
In response to Reply # 30


          

"They used to call me Baby Luke....but now? The whole damn 2 Liiiive Crew."

  

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catalyst
Member since Dec 27th 2005
1389 posts
Wed Jul-29-20 04:54 PM

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20. "i finished it a couple of weeks ago"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

Best show I've seen all year. I read that Coel wrote 191 drafts of the show. It shows.

  

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SuiteLady
Member since Oct 19th 2004
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Fri Aug-14-20 05:13 PM

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48. "Do we ever find out who done it?"
In response to Reply # 20


  

          

♥ Inescapably Me ♥

"Love is never any better than the lover" Toni Morrison (The Bluest Eye)

  

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ThaTruth
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49. "Still 2 episodes left"
In response to Reply # 48


          

  

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SuiteLady
Member since Oct 19th 2004
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51. "I know. I am trying to get someone who has finished it to tell if we eve..."
In response to Reply # 49


  

          

some people have finished it already via websites that have all the episodes.

♥ Inescapably Me ♥

"Love is never any better than the lover" Toni Morrison (The Bluest Eye)

  

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Rjcc
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26. "I told y'all about these dudes on here"
In response to Reply # 0


          


www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

  

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Damali
Member since Sep 12th 2002
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27. "word"
In response to Reply # 26


          

  

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ThaTruth
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31. "RE: word"
In response to Reply # 27


          

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/146578162845960035/

  

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Damali
Member since Sep 12th 2002
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32. "i'm amazed that you think i'd click any link you post LOL"
In response to Reply # 31


          

  

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ThaTruth
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45. "RE: i'm amazed that you think i'd click any link you post LOL"
In response to Reply # 32


          

Don’t be in such a hurry to condemn a person because he doesn’t do what you do, or think as you think. There was a time when you didn’t know what you know today. - Malcolm X

  

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adg87
Member since Jun 22nd 2003
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33. "not for everyone"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

I'm trying to hang in there.

************************************************************

Nigga, if the shoe fits, then buy the matching purse!" Rass Kass

  

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CherNic
Member since Aug 18th 2005
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34. "This is how I felt about Euphoria. I didn’t even finish episode one"
In response to Reply # 33


  

          

  

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Mori
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58. "I got through 3-4 of Euphoria"
In response to Reply # 34


          

Too much shock value content. I like Zendaya and her family story line. The weird sex stuff was just too much. I don't understand why weird sex has to be the wild card on every tv show.

Rise & Shine
Thrive & Grind
Heart & Mind

  

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Teknontheou
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35. "Turn on the subtitles."
In response to Reply # 33


  

          

  

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Damali
Member since Sep 12th 2002
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39. "nothing is for everyone, though"
In response to Reply # 33


          

>I'm trying to hang in there.

why?

d

  

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FLUIDJ
Member since Sep 18th 2002
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Fri Jul-31-20 09:03 AM

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37. "Legit curious here...is this a comedy? satire? "Dark" comedy? I keep see..."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

it as a recommended watch on my algorithm...but haven't been able to bring ourselves to watch it. The way the description is framed....just don't seem like something that could be "enjoyable" to watch....which is fine....some stuff isn't supposed to be "enjoyable".... but when it's presented as a comedy...I just get kinda confused at how the base subject matter is going to be presented in a comedic fashion.....




"Get ready....for your blessing....."
"Bury me by my Grand-Grand and when you can come follow me"

  

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KnowOne
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38. "NO!"
In response to Reply # 37


  

          

not a comedy. And not a "fun" watch, but a very well done show, which tries its best to tackle the subject from many angles.

_________________________________________
"Too weird to live.... too rare to die..."

IG: KnowOne215 | PS+ ID: KnowOne215

  

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FLUIDJ
Member since Sep 18th 2002
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40. "Thanks...am I misinterpreting it being presented as a comedy?? "
In response to Reply # 38


  

          


"Get ready....for your blessing....."
"Bury me by my Grand-Grand and when you can come follow me"

  

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luminous
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41. "more like a dramedy"
In response to Reply # 40


  

          

--
Sometimes you have to look reality in the face and say 'No!'
-Ben (Reaper)

If you need any help, don't. Hesitate to ask.

  

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Teknontheou
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42. "Dark dramedy"
In response to Reply # 41


  

          

  

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Damali
Member since Sep 12th 2002
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44. "dark, quirky dra"medy"."
In response to Reply # 42


          

  

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SuiteLady
Member since Oct 19th 2004
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43. "It is drama. There are some funny moments though...when they were"
In response to Reply # 37


  

          

high in Italy. It is drama. And it is enjoyable.

♥ Inescapably Me ♥

"Love is never any better than the lover" Toni Morrison (The Bluest Eye)

  

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ThaTruth
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46. "tonight’s episode was deep"
In response to Reply # 0


          

  

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Damali
Member since Sep 12th 2002
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47. "that moment when she turned her words on herself...like wow"
In response to Reply # 46


          

brilliant fucking writing and self examination...shit

i'm not writing another word of my shit until i finish this series...this is inspiring me to write the most unfiltered, realest unbridled shit

i love her so much

d

  

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ThaTruth
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50. "A lot of people are hard on Terry saying that she’s not a good friend...."
In response to Reply # 0


          

but Bella is a drug abuser and when you have friend or family member like that you can’t be there to save them every time.

Although it wasn’t shown I’m sure there were countless times when Terry WAS there for Bella it was just tragic that one of those times when Terry wasn’t able to be there Bella was raped.

  

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shamus
Member since Oct 18th 2004
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52. "Yeah, I’m also having a hard time determining "
In response to Reply # 50


  

          

Terry’s culpability here.

The way she advised Simon was unfortunate, but I felt he had more responsibility to her in the moment (as someone who was physically present with Bella) than Terry did. This whole pawning it off on her by saying “well she told me to” never sat right with me at all. And I agree, there were probably a bunch of times Terry did stick around.

But I don’t know. Maybe I’m a shit friend too...


--
the untold want by life and land ne'er granted
now voyager sail thou forth to seek and find

  

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ThaTruth
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53. "It was known that Simon wasn’t shit that’s why Kwame told her to..."
In response to Reply # 52


          

hang up on him, Kwame had his own agendas and Bella is grown woman and made her decisions.

  

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cbk
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54. "Tough watch. Glad I finished it tho. "
In response to Reply # 0


          

Happy 50th D’Angelo: https://chrisp.bandcamp.com/track/d-50

  

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CIPHA
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55. "I just wanna know why yall get full access to HBO shows"
In response to Reply # 0


          

And I have to wait to watch every week like a commoner?

_____________________________________

Let me guess, I can have "good day" now, right?

  

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ThaTruth
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56. "Right lol"
In response to Reply # 55


          

  

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vik
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57. "It aired earlier across the pond nm"
In response to Reply # 55


  

          

---

But hell, what do I know?

  

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SuiteLady
Member since Oct 19th 2004
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59. "Ep. 11"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

I have to say I am mad at her for inviting him back to her place and mad at him for accepting after everything they have been through.

♥ Inescapably Me ♥

"Love is never any better than the lover" Toni Morrison (The Bluest Eye)

  

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shamus
Member since Oct 18th 2004
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60. "I shouted "NO" at my phone and "
In response to Reply # 59


  

          

flipped the screen over


--
the untold want by life and land ne'er granted
now voyager sail thou forth to seek and find

  

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Damali
Member since Sep 12th 2002
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62. "i think she knew she had the power cuz he showed up"
In response to Reply # 59


          

he owed her. she collected, extracted what she needed from him, then discarded him.

life is complex like that sometimes and i feel like that scene perfectly encapsulated that...it was her brand of justice, as there wasn't any other justice for her to have in regards to him.

i won't go into detail, and have never really talked about it, but i did something sorta similar once and i felt seen by that scene.

d

  

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shamus
Member since Oct 18th 2004
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61. "thinking about Ben staying by himself in the courtyard"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

and then watching that vid about loneliness. Appreciated how that struggle has been largely invisible to those around him because that's really how it goes. Nobody sees you. Nobody cares.

thinking about the text Kwame received from ole girl while he was in the gallery. How one person's violator can be another person's dream date. No great revelation there, but the scene struck that sore spot that wonders why other people get to move on and maybe even "be happy" while you're still hurt and processing what happened. (not trying to ignore how problematic she is however. just saying that's what the scene made me think about.)

Also thinking about Kwame's perennial dating question of whether someone can be the right person for you, but you met them at the wrong time. don't know.


--
the untold want by life and land ne'er granted
now voyager sail thou forth to seek and find

  

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SuiteLady
Member since Oct 19th 2004
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63. "Please explain that last episode to me *spoilers* welcome"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

She just let go? Let it go and was able to move on? Or is there a possibility that any of those could have happened? Explain the beach scene please.

♥ Inescapably Me ♥

"Love is never any better than the lover" Toni Morrison (The Bluest Eye)

  

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ThaTruth
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64. "How was expecting Kwame to appear in the last scenes, I was totally..."
In response to Reply # 63


          

confused

  

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PROMO
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65. "i like to think i'm fairly smart. no genius, by any means."
In response to Reply # 63


  

          

but i'm in this boat.

like, i assume she just...got over it. was able to come to grips with all of it and realize she just had to keep moving on i suppose.

but like, was that it?

  

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shamus
Member since Oct 18th 2004
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Tue Aug-25-20 01:33 AM

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66. "RE: Please explain that last episode to me *spoilers* welcome"
In response to Reply # 63


  

          

i don't think any of those scenarios happened. i don't think she ever confronted him at all. (and while i do think the full memory finally returned to her, i'm not entirely clear if she even actually saw the rapist again at ego death. however, as a viewer i want that to be true.)

i interpreted all those iterations as her still trying to write the end of the book and also just processing the most difficult part of the journey--what to do with the solidified image of the rapist.

in the first draft, she experiments with vengeance. in the second draft, there's some sort of confession/explanation and then an official recognition of his guilt by the criminal justice system. in the third draft, it's imagining what it could have been like if it was consensual, and if she (and Terry) had never been robbed of full control from the first encounter at the bar to the decisive dismissal from her bed and from under it.

all the drafts help get her to a point where she's able to have some sort of merging of her light and her dark and transition to "letting go". i don't think "let go" means she's completely pain free or memory free. it just means she's hungry for the rest of her life already, so she's deciding.

I'm not sure, but I think the final image represents some kind of version of her merged self. a merging of all the ambiguities, of the version of her above and below the bed, a la the book cover and the diagram the therapist draws for her in ep. 9. she looks mischievous and a little scary, but she's also running free in the sunlight.


--
the untold want by life and land ne'er granted
now voyager sail thou forth to seek and find

  

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ThaTruth
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67. "I think your right"
In response to Reply # 66


          

  

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Brotha Sun
Member since Dec 31st 2009
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69. "Yes! I also think she was jabbing at the audience. "
In response to Reply # 66


          

Humans love a good revenge plot, so her writing all these different scenarios with her rapist was her poking at us like "Is this what you wanted? Was this fulfilling? Is Arabella at peace?"

"They used to call me Baby Luke....but now? The whole damn 2 Liiiive Crew."

  

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shamus
Member since Oct 18th 2004
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70. "for sure"
In response to Reply # 69


  

          

confronting us with question of what the "solution" is supposed to be.


>her poking at us like
>"Is this what you wanted? Was this fulfilling? Is Arabella at
>peace?"
>
>


--
the untold want by life and land ne'er granted
now voyager sail thou forth to seek and find

  

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KnowOne
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73. "^THIS^"
In response to Reply # 69


  

          

nm

_________________________________________
"Too weird to live.... too rare to die..."

IG: KnowOne215 | PS+ ID: KnowOne215

  

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PROMO
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72. "okay, i kinda got SOME of that from just watching...but I appreciate..."
In response to Reply # 66


  

          

your explanation and i think you're probably pretty close to dead on.

  

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bentagain
Member since Mar 19th 2008
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Wed Aug-26-20 05:41 AM

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74. "Yes, that was my takeaway "
In response to Reply # 63


  

          

I recently went through an incident where I was threatened and I didn’t feel safe in my home

A violation, not on the scale of rape obviously, but a violation nonetheless

I played out similar scenarios in my head

Using a license plate # to track down the perp
Violate him and make him feel threatened
Confront him with violence, etc...

But eventually, you move on, you let it go
There’s no way to change what happened
She will never be unraped
Killing the perp
Raping the perp
Etc...
Bella will always be a rape survivor

Finishing the book was literal, IMO
It allowed her to constructively purge those emotions
...and close that chapter...

The final shot, the character is back at the beach, where we saw her at her most tragic point
...but she’s laughing, happy, and frolicking on the beach instead of trying to drown herself...

She was free.

---------------------------------------------------------------

If you can't understand it without an explanation

you can't understand it with an explanation

  

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SuiteLady
Member since Oct 19th 2004
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Mon Aug-31-20 10:06 AM

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82. "RE: I've been thinking about this and, the last ending where she just do..."
In response to Reply # 63


  

          

go to the bar that night is much more like a real life experience. I've never been violated like that before, but I can assume that people who have, don't get the experience of those first couple ending - they probably wish they had those experiences, but that last ending is probably the most common.

♥ Inescapably Me ♥

"Love is never any better than the lover" Toni Morrison (The Bluest Eye)

  

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SuiteLady
Member since Oct 19th 2004
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68. "I am sorry to admit this but the last episode that I really enjoyed "
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

was the one where Bilagio slid her passport under the door at the end. After that, I was just trying to see how it was going to end.

♥ Inescapably Me ♥

"Love is never any better than the lover" Toni Morrison (The Bluest Eye)

  

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shamus
Member since Oct 18th 2004
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Tue Aug-25-20 01:49 PM

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71. "in your defense, that was an extraordinary ep"
In response to Reply # 68


  

          

i got a lot out of the whole series but i understand what you mean. i rewatched that scene of her banging at the door a couple of times.



>was the one where Bilagio slid her passport under the door at
>the end. After that, I was just trying to see how it was going
>to end.


--
the untold want by life and land ne'er granted
now voyager sail thou forth to seek and find

  

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bentagain
Member since Mar 19th 2008
16595 posts
Wed Aug-26-20 05:46 AM

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75. "Brilliant "
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

One of my favorite endings to a series

I probably wouldn’t have watched without this post, so thanks

Loved it.

---------------------------------------------------------------

If you can't understand it without an explanation

you can't understand it with an explanation

  

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spitfire
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Wed Aug-26-20 08:37 AM

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76. "same for me"
In response to Reply # 75


          

but a fan of Coel now... gonna rewatch Chewing Gum too, on account how good this was.

thnx OKP!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://vintagesoulmusic.tumblr.com
http://vintagehiphopmusic.tumblr.com
http://onetwann.tumblr.com

  

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Teknontheou
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Wed Aug-26-20 08:58 AM

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77. "I think Netflix took it down (in saltiness because she went with "
In response to Reply # 76


  

          

HBO/BBC instead of them for IMDY).

  

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luminous
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Wed Aug-26-20 09:02 AM

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78. "damn..."
In response to Reply # 77


  

          


--
Sometimes you have to look reality in the face and say 'No!'
-Ben (Reaper)

If you need any help, don't. Hesitate to ask.

  

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luminous
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79. "chewing gum wasn't as good"
In response to Reply # 76


  

          

first season was funny. second season was a mess. but knowing what happened to her while she was writing the second season...

--
Sometimes you have to look reality in the face and say 'No!'
-Ben (Reaper)

If you need any help, don't. Hesitate to ask.

  

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KnowOne
Charter member
39940 posts
Wed Aug-26-20 09:21 AM

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81. "I loved the first season."
In response to Reply # 79


  

          

Season two was a mess

_________________________________________
"Too weird to live.... too rare to die..."

IG: KnowOne215 | PS+ ID: KnowOne215

  

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ThaTruth
Charter member
99998 posts
Wed Aug-26-20 09:18 AM

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80. "she's also good in Black Earth Rising"
In response to Reply # 76


          

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
79349 posts
Mon Aug-31-20 10:24 AM

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83. "I binged this weekend. Great show"
In response to Reply # 0


          

She touched on a lot of different ways you can violate someone.

The last episode when she had dude on the bus all bloody.. I was like “hold up, this can’t be real”

I kept seeing people laugh at the passport under the door.. and it was even funnier than expected.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

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Brotha Sun
Member since Dec 31st 2009
6778 posts
Mon Aug-31-20 11:11 AM

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84. "he gave her that pootie tang bowl of milk treatment. mans was wild"
In response to Reply # 83


          

"They used to call me Baby Luke....but now? The whole damn 2 Liiiive Crew."

  

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luminous
Charter member
12458 posts
Thu Feb-04-21 03:14 PM

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85. "What do people think of the golden globes snub?"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

--
Sometimes you have to look reality in the face and say 'No!'
-Ben (Reaper)

If you need any help, don't. Hesitate to ask.

  

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Bambino Grande
Member since Mar 14th 2019
965 posts
Thu Feb-04-21 04:23 PM

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86. "Absolutely ridiculous"
In response to Reply # 85


          


A joke

  

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CherNic
Member since Aug 18th 2005
37156 posts
Thu Feb-04-21 04:44 PM

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87. "I hate that she won't have 'GG nominated/winning' in front of her name"
In response to Reply # 85


  

          

And in Hollywood that shit still matters.

  

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