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Subject: "Y'all are some devious minded motherfuckers, help my sis in law out..." Previous topic | Next topic
KosherSam
Member since Mar 18th 2004
70131 posts
Fri Mar-20-15 07:06 PM

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"Y'all are some devious minded motherfuckers, help my sis in law out..."


  

          

back story: my wife's sister (currently 28) was dating this guy on and off for 4 years. they moved in together a few months ago, but broke up recently when it came out that he was cheating on her. more specifically, when she came downstate for my dad's funeral, he used that as an opportunity to fuck someone else.

Now, it turns out that as a result of the cheating, he gave her chlamydia.

Some additional tidbits:
- he has a coke problem, and a bit of a drinking problem
- his dad fucks around on his mom, but he does not know (thanks to small town gossip, we do know)
- he may or may not have an illegitimate half sister around his age as a result of this fucking around
- his mom allegedly fucked around too, and he doesn't look *that much* like his dad
- he and my sis in law work together, and she's been telling their coworkers about his dirty dick, and he's been sending her insulting texts as a result.

Now *I* personally think it's not worth the time and energy to get back at him, and think everyone should just move on and leave it alone. But my *wife* wants to get ratchet and ruin his life over what he did to her baby sister.

So I figured "hmmmm, if I was gonna look for advice on doing ratchet shit, who would I ask?"

help her out, okp...

*Jews you*

"this is okp tho, reading is completely optional" (c) desus

Proceed with caution. I am overtly racist.

<-- In Pigpen we trust

  

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Topic Outline
Subject Author Message Date ID
You don't want no problems with a cokehead alcoholic.
Mar 20th 2015
1
she could probably kick his ass
Mar 20th 2015
2
big burly construction worker didnt stop dude from fuckin over sis
Mar 20th 2015
5
      why would it?
Mar 20th 2015
7
           u made it sound like he was safety net to do future ratchet
Mar 20th 2015
8
                there's a difference between cheating on his sister and beating her up
Mar 21st 2015
18
                Just assume he has a better lay of the land then you do.
Mar 21st 2015
19
basically
Mar 20th 2015
3
^^^^everything she said is correct
Mar 20th 2015
4
His life will get back at him
Mar 20th 2015
6
Im agreeing with the don't do this folks
Mar 20th 2015
9
Let him walk, he will fuck himself over soon enough
Mar 20th 2015
10
She should tell him she wants to just move on
Mar 20th 2015
11
Sound like a DirectTV commercial and shit lol.
Mar 20th 2015
12
      It's too easy not to. One drug test later...
Mar 22nd 2015
42
Why we gotta be devious though ?
Mar 21st 2015
13
exactly. you blacks see what the white boy thinks of you?
Mar 21st 2015
25
      I mean he puts the disclaimer right in his sig though
Mar 21st 2015
28
           i read that bullshit.
Mar 21st 2015
30
early in the work day, steal his car keys and go make a copy
Mar 21st 2015
14
damn, he dirt dicked her... he didnt kill her first born
Mar 21st 2015
15
thats a big deal
Mar 22nd 2015
40
*blink**blink*
Mar 21st 2015
17
*slowly and carefully backs away from you*
Mar 21st 2015
20
'and a good day to you sir" - Walter Sobchak
Mar 21st 2015
21
Minor shit.
Mar 21st 2015
16
Your sister in law's crazy is showing
Mar 21st 2015
22
she wanna CLAP BACK
Mar 21st 2015
24
Hahah yeah I ain't wanna say nothing...
Mar 21st 2015
26
my wife is the one who really wants revenge
Mar 21st 2015
33
      shes jacked up on pregnancy hormones
Mar 22nd 2015
37
not worth it
Mar 21st 2015
23
Best on the ingredients you provided, the ratchet gumbo could be
Mar 21st 2015
27
Put tattoo ink in his toothpaste.
Mar 21st 2015
29
Would his teeth permanently change colors?
Mar 22nd 2015
38
*** PSA: The views and opinions in this post do not entirely reflect wha...
Mar 21st 2015
31
*updates list of ppl not to fuck with*
Mar 22nd 2015
36
It's just chlamydia, not herpes or HIV.
Mar 21st 2015
32
http://runt-of-the-web.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/confessi...
Mar 22nd 2015
34
y'all killin me w/ this high road shit. *dbl checks url* / my two cents:
Mar 22nd 2015
35
pretty funny revenge website
Mar 22nd 2015
39
This website is making me happy.
Mar 22nd 2015
43
fuck his car up
Mar 22nd 2015
41

lightworks
Member since Feb 17th 2006
5818 posts
Fri Mar-20-15 07:12 PM

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1. "You don't want no problems with a cokehead alcoholic."
In response to Reply # 0
Fri Mar-20-15 07:13 PM by lightworks

          

Dude might try to hurt your sister in law if he's crazy or high enough

I might send some insulting texts if my ex was telling my coworkers private info...

Your sister in law should just cut her loses and move on

  

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KosherSam
Member since Mar 18th 2004
70131 posts
Fri Mar-20-15 07:15 PM

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2. "she could probably kick his ass"
In response to Reply # 1


  

          

additionally, my brother in law (her brother) lives in the area, and is a big burly construction worker dude and Iraq veteran. I hear what you're saying, and I'm in favor of it being left alone and K.I.M., but I don't foresee her safety being at risk.

*Jews you*

"this is okp tho, reading is completely optional" (c) desus

Proceed with caution. I am overtly racist.

<-- In Pigpen we trust

  

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rdhull
Charter member
32107 posts
Fri Mar-20-15 07:23 PM

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5. "big burly construction worker didnt stop dude from fuckin over sis"
In response to Reply # 2


  

          

>additionally, my brother in law (her brother) lives in the
>area, and is a big burly construction worker dude and Iraq
>veteran. I hear what you're saying, and I'm in favor of it
>being left alone and K.I.M., but I don't foresee her safety
>being at risk.

  

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KosherSam
Member since Mar 18th 2004
70131 posts
Fri Mar-20-15 08:05 PM

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7. "why would it?"
In response to Reply # 5


  

          

*Jews you*

"this is okp tho, reading is completely optional" (c) desus

Proceed with caution. I am overtly racist.

<-- In Pigpen we trust

  

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rdhull
Charter member
32107 posts
Fri Mar-20-15 08:37 PM

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8. "u made it sound like he was safety net to do future ratchet"
In response to Reply # 7


  

          

so indeed..why would it mean anything if he didnt decrease any other shenannegins originally, yes

  

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KosherSam
Member since Mar 18th 2004
70131 posts
Sat Mar-21-15 11:09 AM

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18. "there's a difference between cheating on his sister and beating her up"
In response to Reply # 8


  

          

a 30 year old man isn't gonna go risk his freedom by beating up a guy who cheats on his sister. The same can't necessarily be said about a guy who physically attacks his sister.

*Jews you*

"this is okp tho, reading is completely optional" (c) desus

Proceed with caution. I am overtly racist.

<-- In Pigpen we trust

  

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Buddy_Gilapagos
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45793 posts
Sat Mar-21-15 11:40 AM

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19. "Just assume he has a better lay of the land then you do."
In response to Reply # 8


  

          


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson


"One of the most important things in life is what Judge Learned Hand described as 'that ever-gnawing inner doubt as to whether you're

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
68828 posts
Fri Mar-20-15 07:18 PM

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3. "basically"
In response to Reply # 1


          

  

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rdhull
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32107 posts
Fri Mar-20-15 07:21 PM

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4. "^^^^everything she said is correct"
In response to Reply # 1


  

          

>Dude might try to hurt your sister in law if he's crazy or
>high enough
>
>I might send some insulting texts if my ex was telling my
>coworkers private info...
>
>Your sister in law should just cut her loses and move on

  

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initiationofplato
Member since Nov 06th 2013
2420 posts
Fri Mar-20-15 08:02 PM

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6. "His life will get back at him"
In response to Reply # 0


          

don't do a thing, it will be like throwing paper on a burning building.

~Experience is the currency of the soul.

  

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lfresh
Member since Jun 18th 2002
92693 posts
Fri Mar-20-15 08:49 PM

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9. "Im agreeing with the don't do this folks"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

Sorry Sam
This is a classic when keeping it real goes wrong scenario

I agree w you they need to go their separate ways
Leave it alone
~~~~
When you are born, you cry, and the world rejoices. Live so that when you die, you rejoice, and the world cries.
~~~~
You cannot hate people for their own good.

  

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ConcreteCharlie
Member since Nov 21st 2002
71344 posts
Fri Mar-20-15 09:04 PM

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10. "Let him walk, he will fuck himself over soon enough"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

I used to love revenge but as I get older it's less appealing to me.

Either that or chop his dick off and feed it to some ferrets. Whatever floats your boat.

And you will know MY JACKET IS GOLD when I lay my vengeance upon thee.

  

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Sepia.
Member since Feb 25th 2009
12896 posts
Fri Mar-20-15 09:17 PM

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11. "She should tell him she wants to just move on"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

from the whole thing as peacefully as possible since they work together.
Then she should basically make it look to the world like she's forgotten he exists.
Or even be friendly enough with him to let him spend lots of money on her (his will matter later).

All the wile, secretly she's finding a really sly way to get him fired, like burnt-bridges fired.
Then he'll turn to the drugs more heavily to cope, which will take up any money he has saved.
Then he'll have to resort to desperate acts to fund his drug habit and
hopefully hit rock bottom so hard his body bounces off of it.

Then she should stroll up to him when he's a 90lb zombie on the street and say,
"Damn. Look at you. What happened?" Then smirk and walk off without even looking back.


OR she could just live her life well while he continues to frack his up.
That's always the best revenge.

  

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ConcreteCharlie
Member since Nov 21st 2002
71344 posts
Fri Mar-20-15 09:19 PM

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12. "Sound like a DirectTV commercial and shit lol."
In response to Reply # 11


  

          

And you will know MY JACKET IS GOLD when I lay my vengeance upon thee.

  

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Sepia.
Member since Feb 25th 2009
12896 posts
Sun Mar-22-15 11:44 AM

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42. "It's too easy not to. One drug test later..."
In response to Reply # 12


  

          

he's out of there.

And he wouldn't even know it was her if she's playing the "bigger person" role out in the open.

This is how you avoid having to worry about your safety and needing a restraining order.

Messing with his car is extra whipped cream on top, especially when he's about to get fired.

But you don't want to run into the scenario of him asking for money or some kind of help,
because then you have to turn him down and risk things getting out of hand.

Revenge is best when your hands remain mostly clean and you can sit back and laugh at their misery behind the scenes.

  

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Atillah Moor
Member since Sep 05th 2013
13825 posts
Sat Mar-21-15 08:10 AM

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13. "Why we gotta be devious though ?"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

______________________________________

Everything looks like Oprah kissing Harvey Weinstein these days

  

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Deadzombie
Member since Aug 21st 2008
13358 posts
Sat Mar-21-15 12:26 PM

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25. "exactly. you blacks see what the white boy thinks of you?"
In response to Reply # 13


          

the way this query is presented is very fucked up.

and he's an overseer, to boot.

  

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ConcreteCharlie
Member since Nov 21st 2002
71344 posts
Sat Mar-21-15 01:08 PM

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28. "I mean he puts the disclaimer right in his sig though"
In response to Reply # 25


  

          

And you will know MY JACKET IS GOLD when I lay my vengeance upon thee.

  

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Deadzombie
Member since Aug 21st 2008
13358 posts
Sat Mar-21-15 01:17 PM

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30. "i read that bullshit. "
In response to Reply # 28


          

  

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SooperEgo
Charter member
11337 posts
Sat Mar-21-15 08:24 AM

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14. "early in the work day, steal his car keys and go make a copy"
In response to Reply # 0


          

once the copy is made, either put the keys back where you got them or leave them in a common place so he'll think he dropped them and somebody picked them up.

THEN

plant drugs in the trunk a week later.

the rest is handled by an anonymous phone call

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
68828 posts
Sat Mar-21-15 10:14 AM

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15. "damn, he dirt dicked her... he didnt kill her first born"
In response to Reply # 14


          

  

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SimplyHannah
Member since Aug 09th 2009
7225 posts
Sun Mar-22-15 10:27 AM

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40. "thats a big deal"
In response to Reply # 15


  

          

  

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spades
Member since Mar 22nd 2006
42226 posts
Sat Mar-21-15 10:19 AM

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17. "*blink**blink*"
In response to Reply # 14


  

          

Wow - that was masterful.

********************************
http://www.last.fm/user/Nspades

Get Out The Room!
http://getouttheroom.podomatic.com
@fakewilliamkatt
www.wickedradionetwork.com

"The world is changed by your example, not by your opinion" - Paulo Coehlo

  

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ConcreteCharlie
Member since Nov 21st 2002
71344 posts
Sat Mar-21-15 11:41 AM

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20. "*slowly and carefully backs away from you*"
In response to Reply # 14


  

          

man i have come up with some *masterful* revenge plots, but nothing that landed anyone in federal prison.

And you will know MY JACKET IS GOLD when I lay my vengeance upon thee.

  

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Amritsar
Member since Jan 18th 2008
30559 posts
Sat Mar-21-15 12:12 PM

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21. "'and a good day to you sir" - Walter Sobchak"
In response to Reply # 14


  

          

_______________________________________________
"Mindless populism embodied by Trump and Sanders are like a malignant wart on our body politic"

  

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spades
Member since Mar 22nd 2006
42226 posts
Sat Mar-21-15 10:18 AM

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16. "Minor shit."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

"anonymous" tip to his supervisor about his extra-curriculars
If he's a coke head he likely has a little at the house.

quick phone call to the police - from a payphone of course.

I wouldn't take it any further than that. She REALLY doesn't want her fingerprints on this - dude sounds unstable.

********************************
http://www.last.fm/user/Nspades

Get Out The Room!
http://getouttheroom.podomatic.com
@fakewilliamkatt
www.wickedradionetwork.com

"The world is changed by your example, not by your opinion" - Paulo Coehlo

  

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Sarah_Bellum
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Sat Mar-21-15 12:15 PM

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22. "Your sister in law's crazy is showing"
In response to Reply # 0
Sat Mar-21-15 12:22 PM by Sarah_Bellum

  

          

It took her getting the clap before getting outta dodge wit a bamma that has a drug prob and a drinking prob. Now lets do something to be more entangled and cause more drama....
Bad idea jeans

  

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teefiveten
Member since Oct 02nd 2008
33019 posts
Sat Mar-21-15 12:21 PM

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24. "she wanna CLAP BACK"
In response to Reply # 22
Sat Mar-21-15 12:24 PM by teefiveten

  

          

sorry i really wanted to make that joke don't hate me, koshersam!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UCBaiyqK3Z0

*************************************
like.me
http://tinyurl.com/3z8486u

"if the children are not initiated into the village they will burn it down just to feel its warmth." - african proverb

  

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lightworks
Member since Feb 17th 2006
5818 posts
Sat Mar-21-15 12:43 PM

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26. "Hahah yeah I ain't wanna say nothing..."
In response to Reply # 22


          

Sam totally lost me on the "she told their coworkers" thing (because I would spazz on my ex for telling my business too) and when he began the list with "he has a coke and drinking issue" I sure did think "Buuuuut that wasn't an issue or a reason to bounce before getting an STD?"



  

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KosherSam
Member since Mar 18th 2004
70131 posts
Sat Mar-21-15 05:46 PM

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33. "my wife is the one who really wants revenge"
In response to Reply # 22


  

          

*Jews you*

"this is okp tho, reading is completely optional" (c) desus

Proceed with caution. I am overtly racist.

<-- In Pigpen we trust

  

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lfresh
Member since Jun 18th 2002
92693 posts
Sun Mar-22-15 08:16 AM

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37. "shes jacked up on pregnancy hormones "
In response to Reply # 33


  

          

And sisterly protective instinct
Don't listen!


Okay not the pregnancy hormones
But yes you must fight the lets make this situation worse brigade
~~~~
When you are born, you cry, and the world rejoices. Live so that when you die, you rejoice, and the world cries.
~~~~
You cannot hate people for their own good.

  

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teefiveten
Member since Oct 02nd 2008
33019 posts
Sat Mar-21-15 12:17 PM

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23. "not worth it"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

honestly
but i almost knocked over my ex's huge plasma tv in my own fit of anger but talked myself down and it was the best decision

it will only serve to bring her closer to the gutter of a life he has created for himself

his coke habit will catch up to him soon.

*************************************
like.me
http://tinyurl.com/3z8486u

"if the children are not initiated into the village they will burn it down just to feel its warmth." - african proverb

  

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Buddy_Gilapagos
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Sat Mar-21-15 01:05 PM

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27. "Best on the ingredients you provided, the ratchet gumbo could be"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

create a fake facebook page in his name saying "help me find my real dad". Spill all the beans about his family life you mentioned. Let people think he is doing it all. Tag a bunch of his people. Watch the shit show that ensues.

Folks probably right it's a bad idea to ratchet it up but you didn't ask us if you thought it was the right thing to do, you asked for ideas.

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson


"One of the most important things in life is what Judge Learned Hand described as 'that ever-gnawing inner doubt as to whether you're

  

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Frank Longo
Member since Nov 18th 2003
83767 posts
Sat Mar-21-15 01:13 PM

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29. "Put tattoo ink in his toothpaste."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

Here's how you do it.

Take a syringe. Open his toothpaste. Put the tip of the needle *just* into the middle of the toothpaste opening. Inject. IMPORTANT: smooth over the end of the toothpaste with your finger so that it looks normal when he opens the tube.

He'll put the toothpaste onto his brush, not think for a second that anything would be wrong, and start brushing. By the time he tastes the ink, he'll have done a scrub or two onto his teeth. Which is really all you need.

If you're worried about your ability to not accidentally have the ink reveal itself when he squeezes the paste onto his brush, then buy a couple of practice tubes and practice with food coloring. (That's how this prank is normally done. Tattoo ink would really fuck his shit up, though.)

For beer lovers: http://thebeertravelguide.com
For movie lovers: http://russellhainline.com

  

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ndibs
Member since Aug 06th 2012
12715 posts
Sun Mar-22-15 08:30 AM

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38. "Would his teeth permanently change colors?"
In response to Reply # 29


          

>Here's how you do it.
>
>Take a syringe. Open his toothpaste. Put the tip of the needle
>*just* into the middle of the toothpaste opening. Inject.
>IMPORTANT: smooth over the end of the toothpaste with your
>finger so that it looks normal when he opens the tube.
>
>He'll put the toothpaste onto his brush, not think for a
>second that anything would be wrong, and start brushing. By
>the time he tastes the ink, he'll have done a scrub or two
>onto his teeth. Which is really all you need.
>
>If you're worried about your ability to not accidentally have
>the ink reveal itself when he squeezes the paste onto his
>brush, then buy a couple of practice tubes and practice with
>food coloring. (That's how this prank is normally done. Tattoo
>ink would really fuck his shit up, though.)

  

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Kira
Member since Nov 14th 2004
28318 posts
Sat Mar-21-15 02:20 PM

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31. "*** PSA: The views and opinions in this post do not entirely reflect wha..."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

>Now, it turns out that as a result of the cheating, he gave
>her chlamydia.
>
>Some additional tidbits:
>- he has a coke problem, and a bit of a drinking problem
>- his dad fucks around on his mom, but he does not know
>(thanks to small town gossip, we do know)
>- he may or may not have an illegitimate half sister around
>his age as a result of this fucking around
>- his mom allegedly fucked around too, and he doesn't look
>*that much* like his dad
>- he and my sis in law work together, and she's been telling
>their coworkers about his dirty dick, and he's been sending
>her insulting texts as a result.
>
>Now *I* personally think it's not worth the time and energy to
>get back at him, and think everyone should just move on and
>leave it alone. But my *wife* wants to get ratchet and ruin
>his life over what he did to her baby sister.
>
>So I figured "hmmmm, if I was gonna look for advice on doing
>ratchet shit, who would I ask?"
>
>help her out, okp..

Slide HR an anonymous email claiming this guy has a drug and drinking problem.
Casually suggest to HR the need for drug tests.
Anonymously drop the fact that his father is cheating on his mother, his mother is cheating on his father, and he's a bastard child.
Anonymously tip the cops and report drug activity in dude's apartment.
Finally, if he's sending your sister-in-law texts then that's proof. That is enough to get him fired. Get him fired and have a restraining order waiting on him as they walk him out of the office.
Tell the police he's flagrantly spreading STDs.
He's an addict so you can get him to do or say anything for the right price....

  

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2.tears.in.a.bucket
Member since Sep 04th 2009
6185 posts
Sun Mar-22-15 08:00 AM

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36. "*updates list of ppl not to fuck with*"
In response to Reply # 31


  

          

♚♚♚♚

#BYLUG >>> https://goo.gl/1ooFp6

♚♚♚♚

screamin' mothafuck a 12 /
bitches ain't shit /
cops ain't neither /
they huntin' my people /

- i. rashad

♚♚♚♚

  

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ChiBrownSkinLady
Member since Nov 14th 2002
30211 posts
Sat Mar-21-15 02:23 PM

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32. "It's just chlamydia, not herpes or HIV."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

She should take her antibiotics, KIM, let him be, and let his own shitshow of a life take care of him. If it'd been something more lasting, then maybe there'd be justification to burn down the house of his shaky and skanky life. But there's no need for anyone to get their Left Eye on. Hopefully she'll make better choices in the future and not deal with philandering dirty-dicked addicts.

__________________________

Just tryna do the best that I can with what it is I have...

  

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kennymack
Charter member
2806 posts
Sun Mar-22-15 07:28 AM

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34. "http://runt-of-the-web.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/confessi..."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          


http://runt-of-the-web.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/confession-bear-meme-overdose.jpg

  

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2.tears.in.a.bucket
Member since Sep 04th 2009
6185 posts
Sun Mar-22-15 07:49 AM

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35. "y'all killin me w/ this high road shit. *dbl checks url* / my two cents:"
In response to Reply # 0
Sun Mar-22-15 07:57 AM by 2.tears.in.a.bucket

  

          

on the real, ol boy is a piece of shit of such a rare breed - the only thing that would make him remorseful would require him fearing for his life. i.e., a beat down from some fellow addicts, etc.

but i feel ur wife. older siblings tend to not fuck around when it comes to ppl fucking w/the younger ones.

maybe sand in the gas tank?

♚♚♚♚

#BYLUG >>> https://goo.gl/1ooFp6

♚♚♚♚

screamin' mothafuck a 12 /
bitches ain't shit /
cops ain't neither /
they huntin' my people /

- i. rashad

♚♚♚♚

  

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wluv
Member since Jan 27th 2003
4331 posts
Sun Mar-22-15 08:32 AM

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39. "pretty funny revenge website"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

http://happyplace.someecards.com/breakups/the-most-bitterly-satisfying-acts-of-revenge-on-an-ex-after-a-breakup/

Honestly though the best way to get back at dude is to leave him alone and to move on with another dude.

Nothing says our 4 years together didn't mean shit like moving on with someone else.

Dudes ego will be all f*cked up for a long time after that.

  

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Sepia.
Member since Feb 25th 2009
12896 posts
Sun Mar-22-15 11:46 AM

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43. "This website is making me happy. "
In response to Reply # 39


  

          

  

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SimplyHannah
Member since Aug 09th 2009
7225 posts
Sun Mar-22-15 10:28 AM

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41. "fuck his car up"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

or work on getting him fired.

  

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