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Lobby Pass The Popcorn topic #270496

Subject: "OE here to tell y'all why SPIDERMAN 3 is going to be GARBAGE" This topic is locked.
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Orbit_Established
Member since Oct 27th 2002
52935 posts
Thu Apr-05-07 02:34 PM

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"OE here to tell y'all why SPIDERMAN 3 is going to be GARBAGE"


  

          


I'm back.

I'm busy as fuck, but I gotta tell y'all this real quick.

I might make a quick cameo to tell you how terrible the
new gimmicky Tarantino flick is, but maybe not.

Man does QT suck. I'm going to relaunch my anti-Pulp Fiction
campaign in summer of 2007, so watch out.


Anyway, Spiderman 3 is going to be garbage. Don't fight it.
You know that. Here them reasons:

1) You've finally realized that Kirsten Dunst is ugly.

I knew it from birth. She so ugly, she made me walk out of Jumanji and
I wasn't shit but a pubescent niglet when is seent it. Y'all on the other hand
drank the dimepiece Kool-Aid. Because you've now realized she ugly,
and even you nerdy muffuckaz can do better, you're not going
to be interested in the scenes with her in them. They finnna
make you go to sleep. She's not interesting, and neither is her
character. Its hard to be emotionally attached to a characther(Spiderman)
who is consistently scrapping over an ugly broad. Don't work.


3)They've violated the 'Batman Returns' rule:

TOO MANY GODDAMN CHARACTERS. C'mon, dun.

Mr. Sandman? Venom? That Goblin young nigga? Too much.


And this overarching theme of 'Battling yourself' is ghey and
played out, and on the humble THEY ALREADY DEALT WITH
a lot of that shit in Spiderman 2. Done already.

This movie is going to play out like the old WWF Hulk Hogan
sequences from the 80s and 90s. Hogan would be getting
his ass whooped, would be about to be pinned and then
some shit would happen and he'd get life in one arm and the
gradually get up and do that bright eyed deep breathing
shit to the crowd. Then he'd slam someone and do that
boring leg drop shit and it was a rap.

That's gonna be Spidey in this movie.


3)I must preface this with a no-homo, just because I got to.

Tobey Mcgwire is plain uninteresting to look at. His boyish
innocent I'm naive bullshit look on his face can't carry 3 movies.
He is not only the whitest person on earth, his range ain't that solid.
Don't get me wrong, he's a good actor and all, but I'm saying he
can't carry 3 movies. Youda been better off casting someone with
a big ass scar on their face, or a dude with surgically reparied nostril
or something. Something that catches attention.

And real talk: Peter Parker's character isn't actually written
very well. I know his appeal is that he's supposd to be a
"regular kid that everyone can relate to" and that's cool, but
he's a grown man and I want to see some real views on something..
...I don't know, have a scene where the nigga recyles some cans or
something..man up, bitch.




I hope its good though. I just think its gonna suck.


And which one of y'all told me to see 300? That was some
April Fool's bullshit a month early, so fuck y'all.



----------------------------


O_E: Your Super-Ego's Favorite Poster.



"I ORBITs the solar system, listenin..."

(C)Keith Murray, "Cosmic Slop

  

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OE here to tell y'all why SPIDERMAN 3 is going to be GARBAGE [View all] , Orbit_Established, Thu Apr-05-07 02:34 PM
 
Subject Author Message Date ID
you nailed this one
Apr 05th 2007
1
man how great would it've been if Scarlett Johansson had been cast as MJ...
Apr 05th 2007
4
was she supposed to be?
Apr 05th 2007
7
wow.
Apr 06th 2007
41
      how the fuck kiersten dunst have titties
Apr 06th 2007
43
RE: you nailed this one
Apr 06th 2007
46
^^ thinks he's spitting revolutionary thoughts ^^
Apr 05th 2007
2
^^^Camped out for 'DEATH PROOF' Tickets
Apr 05th 2007
6
      Go ahead and address the issue at hand.
Apr 05th 2007
18
           The problem is that, well, you're a dipshit.
Apr 05th 2007
21
                RE: The problem is that, well, you're a dipshit.
Apr 05th 2007
24
                But my penis is enormous + I said what I said about Spidey 3
Apr 05th 2007
32
                where good OE posts go wrong
Apr 06th 2007
44
                     Why don't you calmeth that asseth downeth.
Apr 06th 2007
48
                          i'm the dalai llama in this bitch. i'm just saying
Apr 06th 2007
51
1,2,3
Apr 05th 2007
3
Better Spiderman: 3, or..............3?
Apr 05th 2007
5
i dont care if she is ugly or not
Apr 05th 2007
8
Hold on now...
Apr 05th 2007
10
RE: Hold on now...
Apr 05th 2007
12
RE: i dont care if she is ugly or not
Apr 08th 2007
59
lmao
Apr 05th 2007
9
wait- it's because KD is ugly,TM is plain, and too many bad guys?
Apr 05th 2007
11
kirsten dunst got that nagging tooth yo. yuck.
Apr 05th 2007
13
I can do it faster than you.
Apr 05th 2007
14
allow me to negate your entire argument even quicker
Apr 05th 2007
15
I laughed
Apr 05th 2007
16
^^^ Gets it.
Apr 05th 2007
33
right. thse are PRECISELY why it will "suck"
Apr 05th 2007
17
^^^Well-educated Hater
Apr 05th 2007
26
O, you my dogg and all, but fuck all that shit you talkin
Apr 05th 2007
19
Yup.
Apr 05th 2007
27
FF 2 will suck
Apr 06th 2007
39
kirsten dunst is "uncute" @ my homegirl
Apr 05th 2007
20
Did Batman Begins suck because of too many villains?
Apr 05th 2007
22
in the comics Mary Jane is supposed to be a model.
Apr 05th 2007
23
Scarlet Johansen >>>>>>>>>>>>>> Guerra >>>>>>>> Dunst.
Apr 05th 2007
28
scarlet is fugly too. that bitch is mad dykish
Apr 06th 2007
34
      please
Apr 06th 2007
45
      wow, you know such much abuot me that i dont even know
Apr 06th 2007
56
      i wonder if she and alicia keys fucked on the set
Apr 06th 2007
47
Doesn't he also invent web-shooters in the comic?
Apr 05th 2007
29
RE: Did Batman Begins suck because of too many villains?
Apr 06th 2007
37
      I know. But Betman Begins had multiple villains as well
Apr 06th 2007
40
           shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Apr 06th 2007
57
^^^Rains on parades like, Odin (or some shit)
Apr 05th 2007
25
I agree, but will still probably see it in the theater
Apr 05th 2007
30
well I'm pumped like May 4 is the last day of school
Apr 05th 2007
31
you lost me at pulp fiction.
Apr 06th 2007
35
i actually agree with all your points.
Apr 06th 2007
36
You sir are indubitably incorrect.
Apr 06th 2007
38
RE: OE here to tell y'all why SPIDERMAN 3 is going to be GARBAGE
Apr 06th 2007
42
So I guest you're not going to see it, huh?
Apr 06th 2007
49
      never said that.
Apr 06th 2007
53
my only issue is them adding Gwen Stacey now.....
Apr 06th 2007
50
i'm dying. lmao!!!!
Apr 06th 2007
52
^^^ POSTING WHILE STANDING IN LINE FOR TRANSFORMERS.
Apr 06th 2007
54
underrated reply
Apr 08th 2007
60
The trailer I saw during 300 looked pretty shitty
Apr 06th 2007
55
now THATS funny
Apr 06th 2007
58
      RE: now THATS funny
Apr 08th 2007
61
So, OE was spot on.
May 06th 2007
62
not for the reasons you listed however
May 06th 2007
63
I think you were spot on homie. Still it was good for a download
May 06th 2007
64
Absolutely
May 06th 2007
65
If black people made this crap, you would love it.
May 07th 2007
66
The Patented BigNick: "I'm black and need to be revered by YTS" POST.
May 07th 2007
67
i thought you was hatin' at first, but in fact, you were right...
May 07th 2007
68
It was GARBAGE(Spoilers)
May 07th 2007
69
funny & sad. Chappelle made the right move
May 07th 2007
70

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