vexes many removes the velum off your cerebellum languishing in rhythm's prison encased in solitary confinement whispering to words committing verbicide varacious verbals shut up in my lungs written sanity on the walls of insane flows poetically waxing floors with eager content in your veins IntraVenously pumping with complexity I. Be prisms distorting mind views readily crumbling mounds of speech-tacular wit polishing off your veneer until I consume your psyche virtually becoming a virtuoso of trapped vernacular a visionary stealing your tongue vociferant avoidance futile attempt
~~~~~~~~ When One learns to live without fear, then One cannot be broken.
Hot throughout, i really liked, at times it sounded as is rhyming words were lost, but then again i could be wrong, gotta take into consideration the pronunciation of uk, it differs greatly, But other then that, fantastic.
Fav lines...
>vexes many >removes the velum off your cerebellum >languishing in rhythm's prison >encased in solitary confinement
>in your veins IntraVenously pumping with complexity >I. Be prisms distorting mind views readily
Overall, the whole drop was ill, but those lines flowed perfect to me.
Intoxication, my voicebox rocks the nation Sweet affiliation, the Doe Or Die situation - Az
>vexes many >removes the velum off your cerebellum >languishing in rhythm's prison >encased in solitary confinement >whispering to words committing verbicide >varacious verbals shut up in my lungs >written sanity on the walls of insane flows >poetically waxing floors with eager content >in your veins IntraVenously pumping with complexity >I. Be prisms distorting mind views readily >crumbling mounds of speech-tacular wit >polishing off your veneer until I consume your psyche >virtually becoming a virtuoso of trapped vernacular >a visionary stealing your tongue >vociferant >avoidance >futile attempt
i liked the very first 3 lines a lot. This flowed nicely and it appears to have a confident rhythm to it. Thanks for sharing with us
Thank you for the feedback, Empro and AK. This is a poem that has another side to it, but that's for another time. Thank you for the look! ~~~~~~~~ When One learns to live without fear, then One cannot be broken.
Thank you Soulsugar. I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment. This was written as an alliterative project of mine. It's kinda like a "Who I am?" type piece. I figured let me switch my style up. I recently did another one entitled "I. Intrepid." I'm still testing it out but I'm going to post it up. It's still a little rough though. ~~~~~~~~ When One learns to live without fear, then One cannot be broken.
lol, I understand exactly what you mean, Soul. It was kinda like that...an explosion of sound and I wanted words that would make people feel it. Or something lol I thank you again for always giving me feedback on my pieces. Much love. ~~~~~~~~ When One learns to live without fear, then One cannot be broken.
wow u r back and with a venom ur work always makes the vocab increase in new perceptions of verbage taken for granted often besides your passion peeks thru yet again where u been at?
"keep pennin till the earth birth's your rightful seed then nurture it wit more ink..." ASIEM "Kuun fiyah Kuun" Quran (Be and it is) " A writer takes his pen to write the words again that all in love is fair" Stevie Wonder
Asiem, I lost my password when I switched internet providers back in '05 and I remember telling one of my friends it's gonna come back to me in a dream and lo and behold, you know it did. lol But, I'm back now! YAY! ~~~~~~~~ When One learns to live without fear, then One cannot be broken.
"keep pennin till the earth birth's your rightful seed then nurture it wit more ink..." ASIEM "Kuun fiyah Kuun" Quran (Be and it is) " A writer takes his pen to write the words again that all in love is fair" Stevie Wonder
I think ASIEM just ^UpPeD^ this from the dungeons of "February '09" ... She ain't back -- -- (At least I didn't think so) ... but I wish she were ... and I wish I had seen this earlier ... but better late than never. Her work always had a creative (((SHINE))) that tickled my imagination and made me *smile*
I miss her! -- *sigh*
A guitar string vibrating, a measure of my soul, a breech in the silence -- I've always felt like words come through me & I write them down... they have no master --- gsquared ♥
I's BACKKKK!!! Again, I lapse. I admit it. It's terrible of me. I am going to make the effort to stay on here! Who dusted this off?? I was like whatttttt???? Hahahahaha Thank you for the look most definitely for all of your comments. ~~~~~~~~ When One learns to live without fear, then One cannot be broken.
in many ways i was vexed by u as in perplexed astoyour appearance disappearance but i must say i understand i did the same a coupletimes...it is always wonderfilled to see writters reappear after being away i get to admire you all overagain...there is much new talent herein look forward to seeing you in action again. this piece represents u well full flavored beast
"keep pennin till the earth birth's your rightful seed then nurture it wit more ink..." ASIEM "Kuun fiyah Kuun" Quran (Be and it is) " A writer takes his pen to write the words again that all in love is fair" Stevie Wonder
Awww, thank you for welcoming me back! I've been on here trying to catch up and read and filling my spirit with the love up in here. 2010!!! And I hope is a wonderful, prosperous year for us all! ~~~~~~~~ When One learns to live without fear, then One cannot be broken.
Thank ya, ma'am. This is an old piece but written like 5 years ago and I recently decided to write its companion piece to it a few months ago. It's on here somewhere if I can find it. I appreciate the look. ~~~~~~~~ When One learns to live without fear, then One cannot be broken.
Vixen after reading this thread I see this is something familiar to have many miss you and again outta nowhere you appear as welcome as before must be the Vixen in you or is it the Intrepid hence a female fox or Resolutely courageous; fearless. no it's the combination who can resist that? Good to see you posting when can we expect some work?
"keep pennin till the earth birth's your rightful seed then nurture it wit more ink..." ASIEM "Kuun fiyah Kuun" Quran (Be and it is) " A writer takes his pen to write the words again that all in love is fair" Stevie Wonder
*virtual hug* Yours was the first piece that I read. It's been too long. I'm writing a lot. Songs, poetry, stories. Goodness...words are flowing like a faucet. I had to come back. I'm working on some things now. I hope to have something up today. how are you dear friend? What a wonderful New Year's Day indeed. ~~~~~~~~ When One learns to live without fear, then One cannot be broken.
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-- (At least I didn't think so) ... but I wish she were ... and I wish I had seen this earlier ... but better late than never. Her work always had a creative (((SHINE))) that tickled my imagination and made me *smile*
and thats a good thing.
