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Subject: "What are some of your work boundaries?" Previous topic | Next topic
MEAT
Member since Feb 08th 2008
20979 posts
Mon Jun-07-21 02:51 PM

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"What are some of your work boundaries?"


  

          

I recently got into it with my boss about the increase in work travel. When I was hired it was communicated as no more than 10% and now it's jumped up to over 25% and that's not ok with me.

And basically her feel is … let’s tough it out for 6-12 months because her boss is demanding ... as if she didn’t just push me through the last 15 months aggressively.

Absolutely not. I’m not pushing through aggressively during my kids developmental years… and I get it I understand where she's coming from, but I can't be down with that

At one point she confided in me that all of the work demands is also affecting HER family and marriage … and I again, I get it, it's something that you work out in your house ... but where do you stand up for yourself?

I’ve watched and experienced how jobs treat people, up to and including death (my first job I watched a guy have a seizure and die in the office and a coworker got UPSET that other people wanted to take off the rest of the day) … you are bottomlessly replaceable at work … not at home

------
“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

  

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Topic Outline
Subject Author Message Date ID
was any of this in writing?
Jun 07th 2021
1
Yes. But I live in Texas.
Jun 07th 2021
6
solidarity - i love the way you put this
Jun 07th 2021
2
One of my boundaries is email and text on my personal phone.
Jun 07th 2021
3
yeah. texting me tasks that could wait until the next work day
Jun 07th 2021
9
man what ?????
Jun 07th 2021
4
Software
Jun 07th 2021
7
      holy hell that is awful
Jun 07th 2021
8
i havent had to flex boundaries in years
Jun 07th 2021
5
work hours.
Jun 07th 2021
10
Work is a joke
Jun 08th 2021
11
David sounds like he was full of shit; respectfully…rest his soul…
Jun 08th 2021
13
I'm reading Graeber's "Debt: The first 5,000 years"
Jun 08th 2021
15
      He is brilliant!
Jun 08th 2021
20
I don’t give out my personal cell phone, don’t check emails after ho...
Jun 08th 2021
12
every so often I get an email or text
Jun 08th 2021
14
I legit hate the MS Outlook notification tones…they trigger me.
Jun 08th 2021
16
      We have project manager that’ll email at night to request an AM
Jun 08th 2021
19
           Last fall I resorted to out office replies “I’m currently offline”...
Jun 08th 2021
22
my team is business critical, but my role is not.
Jun 08th 2021
17
      Do you plan to stay in that sort of role for a very long term?
Jun 08th 2021
18
           I've been here five years...looking to move
Jun 09th 2021
29
Sheeit. When I'm clocked out, I'm clocked out
Jun 08th 2021
21
A job aint nothing but work - Mo Money
Jun 08th 2021
23
      Exactly
Jun 08th 2021
24
I avoid connecting on social media with co-workers...
Jun 08th 2021
25
Same.
Jun 08th 2021
26
This is key.
Jun 08th 2021
27
yep
Jun 08th 2021
28
youre crazy if you have workmates on your social media friends list
Jun 09th 2021
30
In a staff meeting today we were encourage to share boundaries, lol
Jun 09th 2021
31
RE: In a staff meeting today we were encourage to share boundaries, lol
Jun 09th 2021
32
      RE: In a staff meeting today we were encourage to share boundaries, lol
Jun 09th 2021
33

ThaTruth
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Mon Jun-07-21 06:16 PM

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1. "was any of this in writing?"
In response to Reply # 0


          

>I recently got into it with my boss about the increase in
>work travel. When I was hired it was communicated as no more
>than 10% and now it's jumped up to over 25% and that's not ok
>with me.

________________________________________
"Stay out the dark, cause if I catch you when the sun is down..."
https://youtu.be/eaaTxVRG06c?t=89

  

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MEAT
Member since Feb 08th 2008
20979 posts
Mon Jun-07-21 08:26 PM

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6. "Yes. But I live in Texas. "
In response to Reply # 1


  

          

There are near zero worker protections.

------
“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

  

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Walleye
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Mon Jun-07-21 07:01 PM

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2. "solidarity - i love the way you put this"
In response to Reply # 0


          

>you are bottomlessly replaceable at work … not at home

That's it. You know where you're *needed*. I think your boundaries are reasonable and it sucks so much that we don't have a culture that makes it simple and clear how to articulate those. That this conversation is hard is bad - that it's also tricky or complicated is such an extra kick in the shin.

______________________________

"Walleye, a lot of things are going to go wrong in your life that technically aren't your fault. Always remember that this doesn't make you any less of an idiot"

--Walleye's Dad

  

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SuiteLady
Member since Oct 19th 2004
15296 posts
Mon Jun-07-21 07:16 PM

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3. "One of my boundaries is email and text on my personal phone."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

First of all I have Outlook on my phone but I don't get those notifications. If I make a conscious decision to look, that is one thing, but notifications about every after hours email is another.

Secondly, I don't like giving my coworkers my cell number but sometimes I have to and I have no problem blocking people if they text me outside of work hours (about work) on the regular.

♥ Inescapably Me ♥

"Love is never any better than the lover" Toni Morrison (The Bluest Eye)

  

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will_5198
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Mon Jun-07-21 09:52 PM

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9. "yeah. texting me tasks that could wait until the next work day"
In response to Reply # 3


          

just because it is on "your" mind right now...no.

I also never check e-mail on my phone. if I read an e-mail and have to follow up right away, then I'm working. if I read it and it can wait, then I'll wait until I'm working again to read it.

fucking e-mail.

--------

  

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BrooklynWHAT
Member since Jun 15th 2007
81433 posts
Mon Jun-07-21 07:58 PM

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4. "man what ?????"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          


>
>I’ve watched and experienced how jobs treat people, up to
>and including death (my first job I watched a guy have a
>seizure and die in the office and a coworker got UPSET that
>other people wanted to take off the rest of the day) … you
>are bottomlessly replaceable at work … not at home

what field was this

<--- Big Baller World Order

  

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MEAT
Member since Feb 08th 2008
20979 posts
Mon Jun-07-21 08:38 PM

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7. "Software"
In response to Reply # 4


  

          

I don’t know if I told this story here but it’s so long ago now I’ll even use names. But I worked with a crazy lady when I first got out of college. She was hell. But she taught me an important lesson or two. One. Never go behind doors without a witness.
When this woman cussed my 25 year old ass in the smoothest whisper and then told me nobody would believe me because they didn’t hear… wild
And so by the time I had learned Jean was a tyrant it was far too late.
One day Al, the company president comes up to me. Mid 50s white guy. I liked Al a lot. Al starts talking to me about Jam Rock. Said he loves him Nas and Damien Marley. We get into a conversation about bootlegging and he’s like nah, we pay for media here, and he wanted me to cop him the cd legit.
Anyways Al tells me he’s gonna take me under his wing. And I need to get my passport. I told him I had one. And he said he’s going on a turn around trip to Calgary with John and then when he gets back to get a coat. He’s gonna start taking me with him on the trips.
So that was a Monday. Tuesday he leaves. Wednesday he gets home.
Has dinner with his wife, Valentine’s Day, has a heart attack and dies. We find out Thursday. John walks in late that day. Again he just got back from a turn around trip to Calgary. I personally break the news to him and he is DISTRAUGHT. He just flew to Canada and back with this man. And that fucks him up. So Jean goes and talks to Carolyn and she’s PISSED. Quote “And John doesn’t want to work today because over there pretending to be upset about Al” … I walked out of the office
Friday we closed office. Monday was a holiday. Tuesday we put Al in the ground, Jewish people get buried quickly?
Wednesday we’re back in the office. Wednesday Pedro (older engineer) has a seizure in the office. Just falls out. I saw them trying to calm him. He didn’t make it to the hospital.
Jean … upset about the work distraction.


My first professional job out of college. I was 25/26. I’ve never let these learnings go. They are foundational to me.

------
“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

  

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BrooklynWHAT
Member since Jun 15th 2007
81433 posts
Mon Jun-07-21 08:50 PM

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8. "holy hell that is awful"
In response to Reply # 7


  

          

and yeah Jewish people get buried ASAP for religious reasons. Like within a day if they can get it in order.

<--- Big Baller World Order

  

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tomjohn29
Member since Oct 18th 2004
16568 posts
Mon Jun-07-21 08:02 PM

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5. "i havent had to flex boundaries in years"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

i work from home and make my own hours *shrugs*

______________________________________

Navem nu, cuando sol
Tutu nu, vondo nos nu
Vita em, no continous non
Nos nu ekta nos sepe ta, amen

When the sun shades the ship
We sweat and life is not safe
To swim or to touch not
When we unite we hedge amen

  

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tariqhu
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Mon Jun-07-21 09:58 PM

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10. "work hours."
In response to Reply # 0


          

the business hours are there for a reason. not doing extra time as a habit because it becomes expected.

Y'all buy those labels, I was born supreme

  

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Mori
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Tue Jun-08-21 05:47 AM

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11. "Work is a joke"
In response to Reply # 0


          

Great post! I want to spill my work trauma but I have healed so I will move on.

Have you heard of a book called Bullshit Job by David Graeber (RIP). He died last year but spent the latter part of his life sharing the idea that most of work is bullshit.


I have so many stories. But my kid forced me to have non-negotiable boundaries. I will never put a job before my family or my mental and physical health.

I have worked in really important jobs like helping people get treatment for illnesses. I have also worked dumb ass jobs like making sure people took surveys and filled out forms.

For the most part, these jobs are useless. They are just a way to keep middle income people satiated because if the economy were true, we would pay teachers, social workers, firemen, police officers, custodial staff, food workers , drivers, doctors, nurses and child care givers over $200k/year. These are the jobs we cannot do with out.

The rest of the jobs, even some in law, business, communication etc, are a joke.

I hope the work culture changes.

Rise & Shine
Thrive & Grind
Heart & Mind

  

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FLUIDJ
Member since Sep 18th 2002
43614 posts
Tue Jun-08-21 06:59 AM

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13. "David sounds like he was full of shit; respectfully…rest his soul…"
In response to Reply # 11


  

          

I get kinda peeved with how us “middle income” folks are always getting shitted on….We frequently get the short end of the stick in most all aspects of the American economy….



"Get ready....for your blessing....."
"Bury me by my Grand-Grand and when you can come follow me"

  

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Walleye
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Tue Jun-08-21 08:23 AM

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15. "I'm reading Graeber's "Debt: The first 5,000 years""
In response to Reply # 11


          

He's a really fun writer and a big, wide thinker.

______________________________

"Walleye, a lot of things are going to go wrong in your life that technically aren't your fault. Always remember that this doesn't make you any less of an idiot"

--Walleye's Dad

  

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Mori
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3469 posts
Tue Jun-08-21 10:46 AM

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20. "He is brilliant!"
In response to Reply # 15


          

A very sad loss to the world of progressive thinkers. Glad he got his ideas out before he passed.

He challenged humanity to think differently about how we use our time on the planet.

Rise & Shine
Thrive & Grind
Heart & Mind

  

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FLUIDJ
Member since Sep 18th 2002
43614 posts
Tue Jun-08-21 06:55 AM

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12. "I don’t give out my personal cell phone, don’t check emails after ho..."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

I only answer my work cell phone for about 3 people if it’s outside of normal work hours.
I realize I’m fortunate to be working in the public sector which affords me the ability to set and stick to these boundaries. When I worked in private sector it was a whole different ball game….one I hope to never return to.

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
69888 posts
Tue Jun-08-21 07:13 AM

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14. "every so often I get an email or text"
In response to Reply # 12


          

in teams late night asking a question about work.. but half the time I don’t respond until I get to work.

I turned off email notifications on my phone too.

cause phuck that shit

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

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FLUIDJ
Member since Sep 18th 2002
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Tue Jun-08-21 08:28 AM

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16. "I legit hate the MS Outlook notification tones…they trigger me."
In response to Reply # 14


  

          

And when I log in on Monday mornings and see folks that were emailing all weekend I just have to SMH….


"Get ready....for your blessing....."
"Bury me by my Grand-Grand and when you can come follow me"

  

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MEAT
Member since Feb 08th 2008
20979 posts
Tue Jun-08-21 10:25 AM

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19. "We have project manager that’ll email at night to request an AM "
In response to Reply # 16


  

          

Deliverable.
It’s been more than a few times she’s made a request at 930 for something at 830 am

------
“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

  

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FLUIDJ
Member since Sep 18th 2002
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Tue Jun-08-21 11:04 AM

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22. "Last fall I resorted to out office replies “I’m currently offline”..."
In response to Reply # 19


  

          

“I will respond to emails during core work hours.”

"Get ready....for your blessing....."
"Bury me by my Grand-Grand and when you can come follow me"

  

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double negative
Member since Dec 14th 2007
21885 posts
Tue Jun-08-21 08:41 AM

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17. "my team is business critical, but my role is not. "
In response to Reply # 12
Tue Jun-08-21 08:45 AM by double negative

  

          

aka - when the entire company infrastructure takes a shit, my team and it's sister teams are the ones who have to drop the turkey leg mid-bite and run to fix shit because we're global, so while we're chilling at night, there could be a whole office somewhere in Asia going apeshit because nothing is working.

I keep my eyes open and check work email once or twice a day during weekends.

The funny thing is...no one calls me, I'm the one who does the calling - edit: No one calls me because the boundary has been set that my time is tightly accounted for. So, you can call me, but I can't do or promise anything until the work request has been planned out to fit within the current portfolio of active projects.

***********************************************************
https://soundcloud.com/swageyph/yph-die-with-me

  

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FLUIDJ
Member since Sep 18th 2002
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Tue Jun-08-21 09:22 AM

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18. "Do you plan to stay in that sort of role for a very long term? "
In response to Reply # 17


  

          

Or is just a reality of the industry you work in and no way around it with your career choice?


Get ready....for your blessing....."
"Bury me by my Grand-Grand and when you can come follow me"

  

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double negative
Member since Dec 14th 2007
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Wed Jun-09-21 11:54 AM

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29. "I've been here five years...looking to move"
In response to Reply # 18
Wed Jun-09-21 11:57 AM by double negative

  

          

it's kind of the role in this context.

I am the only person who does what I do. NORMAL companies will have 5 or 10 of me, but I am the one. It's kind of like, a car dealership only having one mechanic. There is always work to do, but you can't just ram a random ass rush job into the day, that would just fuck the entire list of planned jobs for the week and month.

E: If I wasnt clear, I'm not the one who has to drop everything and run on the weekends, my team does, but I do not. I only have to keep my eye on things. The work is important, it's politics, policy, finance, wealth all in one. "Big Law" firm.

***********************************************************
https://soundcloud.com/swageyph/yph-die-with-me

  

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Hitokiri
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Tue Jun-08-21 10:56 AM

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21. "Sheeit. When I'm clocked out, I'm clocked out"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

Ain't no calling, texting, or emailing me and expecting a response before I clock back in.
If I got PTO, I'm taking PTO.
The job doesn't care about you.
The job doesn't define you.
The job is some shit you do, so you can keep your bills paid.
Even if you like it, even if you love it. It don't love you.


--
"You can't beat white people. You can only knock them out."

"There is only one god and his name is death. And there is only one thing we say to death: not today."

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
69888 posts
Tue Jun-08-21 11:06 AM

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23. "A job aint nothing but work - Mo Money"
In response to Reply # 21


          

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

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Hitokiri
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Tue Jun-08-21 11:29 AM

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24. "Exactly"
In response to Reply # 23


  

          

nm

--
"You can't beat white people. You can only knock them out."

"There is only one god and his name is death. And there is only one thing we say to death: not today."

  

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Marbles
Member since Oct 19th 2004
21790 posts
Tue Jun-08-21 11:29 AM

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25. "I avoid connecting on social media with co-workers..."
In response to Reply # 0
Tue Jun-08-21 11:30 AM by Marbles

  

          

Except for LinkedIn.

This rule is probably a personal preference, depending on several factors. But I tend to speak pretty freely on my social media accounts. I'm connected to friends and acquaintances who pretty much know me and know how I am.

I wouldn't want to limit my ability to say whatever I want by worrying about what my manager may say or if I it may affect me at work if I say something that someone doesn't like.

EDIT - I have connected on social media with folks from previous jobs, after I left that position.

  

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Hitokiri
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Tue Jun-08-21 11:41 AM

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26. "Same."
In response to Reply # 25


  

          

We can maybe be connected on social media once we don't work together. But. While we do, you don't get to see that I'm posting memes when I called in "sick."

--
"You can't beat white people. You can only knock them out."

"There is only one god and his name is death. And there is only one thing we say to death: not today."

  

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JFrost1117
Member since Aug 12th 2005
23028 posts
Tue Jun-08-21 05:57 PM

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27. "This is key."
In response to Reply # 25


  

          

I might get on here, FB, Twitter, or IG while I'm waiting for a download to finish or for a user to call me back, so I don't need anybody counting my posts or tracking my comments.

People send me FB requests and I let them sit for a day until they disappear and get a LinkedIn request from the same person.

____________
Twitter & IG: @rulerofmyself
SC: rulerofmyself17

Yes! She's on the drugs. (c) BoHagon

  

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will_5198
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Tue Jun-08-21 11:13 PM

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28. "yep"
In response to Reply # 25


          

especially if you manage people. there's no real upside to me that comes from it.

> EDIT - I have connected on social media with folks from
>previous jobs, after I left that position.

this is the correct way.

--------

  

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rdhull
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Wed Jun-09-21 04:19 PM

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30. "youre crazy if you have workmates on your social media friends list"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

thats where ya talk shit about them/work etc lol

  

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SuiteLady
Member since Oct 19th 2004
15296 posts
Wed Jun-09-21 04:54 PM

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31. "In a staff meeting today we were encourage to share boundaries, lol"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

They aint ready.

♥ Inescapably Me ♥

"Love is never any better than the lover" Toni Morrison (The Bluest Eye)

  

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rdhull
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Wed Jun-09-21 05:11 PM

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32. "RE: In a staff meeting today we were encourage to share boundaries, lol"
In response to Reply # 31


  

          

>They aint ready.


yeah dont..thats their in to say youre not a team player wps

  

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JFrost1117
Member since Aug 12th 2005
23028 posts
Wed Jun-09-21 06:08 PM

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33. "RE: In a staff meeting today we were encourage to share boundaries, lol"
In response to Reply # 32


  

          

Someone could read any of the ones listed in this post and if not formally complain, be on some slick Randall Weems shit to a higher-up. I'd love/hate to see how up-in-arms someone would get to hear these out loud in a meeting setting.

____________
Twitter & IG: @rulerofmyself
SC: rulerofmyself17

Yes! She's on the drugs. (c) BoHagon

  

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