Shout out to all my medication people. This is for you.

This is rough. Being stuck in the house isn’t the worst of it. The worst is reading the news—only once or twice a day, to try to preserve sanity—and to see all the death, all the ignorance that will lead to more death. Meanwhile all distractions have been cancelled, I have no new books to read, and I’m somehow grinding harder than ever while stuck at home.

It’s a lot. I’m ok. I got my wife, and she’s keeping me even keeled. But it’s a lot.

If you need to talk about how you’re doing, this is the post for you. I promise I’ll try to read and reply to anyone who posts. Safe space, we all we got, etc.

----
bshelly

"You (Fisher) could get fired, Les Snead could get fired, Kevin Demoff could get fired, but I will always be Eric Dickerson.” (c) The God

... is starting to set in a bit this week so I'll surely be back. Peace to you and yours and hope you are staying healthy.

----------------------------------------

"Fuck aliens." © WarriorPoet415

Both of my parents live alone, and I know they’re both bored and lonely as hell as this has completely disrupted their routines and taken away the things they liked to do - and I think the older you are, the harder it is to adapt. I got my pops on Netflix and watching Breaking Bad at least. I don’t think he’s watched anything but sports since like 1978.

Once testing is more widespread and we don’t have to all pretend that everybody has it, that’ll hopefully be cleared up and I can at least go over and see them.

Like, my family are generally homebody isolationist types. Four people, four rooms (because we’re lucky). But still, I worry about them. I hope they’re staying home and staying engaged.

----
bshelly

"You (Fisher) could get fired, Les Snead could get fired, Kevin Demoff could get fired, but I will always be Eric Dickerson.” (c) The God

it’s gonna be sort of stream of consciousness. I always have been troubled by things that happen to others...whether I know them or not. I still obsess over 911, Katrina, all the mass shootings. Shit just puts me in a dark place. Sometimes I feel like my life is great and I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished. Other times I feel like all this shit is pointless. I was recently (even though I’ve known for some time that I had some issues I needed help with) diagnosed with PTSD and depression...stemming from my deployment. I started going to a therapist. Only been a few sessions, so far. Last session he gave me the names of some psychiatrists I could see to possibly have some mediation prescribed. I’m extremely leery of that. Guess it makes me feel like I’m officially crazy, or something. Tomorrow’s session, which is now by video, he’s going to guide me through meditation. All that’s going on, now, is absolutely taking a toll on me mentally. The gym was the one thing that seemed to tame my brain...or at least, give me better control over it. In all, I feel pretty shitty even complaining. I have a healthy family, a wonderful wife, a cool job that I get to do from home in my pajamas, we got all the same money, abundance of food, toilet tissue, hand sanitizer, lol...like wtf is my problem???? That’s the cycle I go through.

...I'm from the era when A.I. was the answer, now they think ai is the answer - Marlon Craft

shit ain't no different than a diabetic. if medication is what it takes for you to get the healing you need, then do it. I don't feel any particular way about putting on my glasses every day so I can fuckin see, meds are the same way.

I will say tho, be careful about the side effects. and if you go that route, don't be surprised if it takes some time to find the right one or the right dosage for you

www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

With some bouts of depression sprinkled in. She's been medicated since her teen years.

When we first started dating, I (a person fortunate as fuck to have never needed this type of medication or treatment in my life) was always bugging her about depending on meds, and asking her to try to find other more wholistic forms of treatment for her condition(s).

Ignorant as fuck on my part. I learned pretty quickly how serious this/these disease(s)/conditions are and as a result could not agree with you more about the above. The meds for anxiety, depression, PTSD, and all mental illnesses like them are 100% like any other disease or condition we may have as humans. It's about finding the right med balance like you said. And once my wife found hers (semi-recently actually) she's never been happier or more stress-free.

----------------------------------------

"Fuck aliens." © WarriorPoet415

take it slow. it can take a lot of work to wrap your head around medication.

and once she got on the right thing for her? completely different.

and also same, I had no idea how serious clinical depression can be. like I thought I knew, but actually living with it every day is no different than someone trying to run a race with a broken leg

www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

Guess I need to get out of my own way. Appreciate the advice.

...I'm from the era when A.I. was the answer, now they think ai is the answer - Marlon Craft

First off, I'm sorry that life has put such stress on you earlier in your life. Trauma is serious and I'm glad that your seeking treatment now and have done a great job managing your life to this point.

I have bipolar disorder with Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Schizoaffective Disorder. I've also had some issues relating to trauma.

I started taking meds in 2000 when the bipolar symptoms became present.

I was leary of meds too. The idea of taking meds seems so stark. That 'your life has lost control.' But the action to take meds is a major step towards a better, more fulfilled life for yourself which will spill onto your family, friends, and loved ones. And it was one of the best decisions of my life until that point.

Yes, my life was more of a mess then than yours is now. I felt I *had* to take them to restore my sanity. But there are many people who take meds just to relieve mild symptoms. And not everyone who takes meds takes them for the rest of their life. Their symptoms could only be situational or they fade away after some time with treatment.

Taking meds was like making a commitment to my emotional and overall wellbeing. And the only regret I have about taking the meds was not starting sooner when the symptoms weren't so problematic to manage.

Like rjcc said, the meds are there to treat an illness. The symptoms you face are emotional and so felt in your mind, but the illness is neurochemical. And so, treating the biochemistry ought to give you more relief.

Yes, the exercise, therapy, and meditation are very helpful. (and I wouldn't advise stopping those even if you do go on meds.) But meds are an important component in treating PTSD which is a very serious, but also treatable condition. In fact patients on meds who also attend therapy improve their condition faster than patients doing only one of those two.

If you have more questions or concerns, I'm more than willing to answer them. Also, if you would like more opinions in an anonymous setting, seek out support groups relating to either PTSD or mental illness in general. NAMI (National Association of Mental Illness) and DBSA (Depression and Bipolar Association) are organizations which sponsor support groups where people of various mental illnesses meet and talk about their symptoms. There are guests who come through who ask questions about meds, so feel free to ask questions. They'll be happy to talk about their experiences.

Good luck, bro.

<--- Me when my head hits the pillow

for the information and for sharing your situation. It’s encouraging, to say the least.

...I'm from the era when A.I. was the answer, now they think ai is the answer - Marlon Craft

I didn’t want to go on meds for the first year that my depression broke. Finally it got to the point where I would try anything. They put me on Lexapro and told me it would take a month to feel something.

Three nights later, I was watching Harry Potter with my mom and my sister, and I realized, shit, why do I feel so weird? Realized it was that I was just watching the movie. Wasn’t obsessing, wasn’t in my feelings, I could just...watch the movie. For the first time in forever.

Meds aren’t for everybody, but for me, they gave me the space to figure shit out.

----
bshelly

"You (Fisher) could get fired, Les Snead could get fired, Kevin Demoff could get fired, but I will always be Eric Dickerson.” (c) The God

but now it's tough...really really really tough

all things considered financially i'm doing best than most but it's pretty hard to escape the thoughts of what's happening, the unknown and the grim future ahead of us... that shit is terrifying

We have a couple months of this, but by July 1 we’ll be kinda sorta back to normal

----
bshelly

"You (Fisher) could get fired, Les Snead could get fired, Kevin Demoff could get fired, but I will always be Eric Dickerson.” (c) The God

downside: that shit makes my depression worse in the long run.

I was in the middle of a career-switch when the pandemic struck, and now my new work has been all but cancelled. I'm not too worried about surviving financially, since I can apply for benefits and my parents have money if that fails, but having fuck all to invest in and be part of is going to be rough in the coming months.

Plus I'm getting way more annoyed with my housemates than usual, since they're home all the time, and their habits that annoyed me before kind of infuriate me now.

But as long as I manage to work out regularly, play games, practice guitar and talk to my friends (remotely or outside somewhere), I think I'll manage to keep the depression in check for now.

___________________
"So this is what everybody's always talking about! Diablo! If only I'd known. The beauty! The beauty!"

I started therapy a couple of years ago and it's taken me this long to see the positive impact of it. I am slow to anger, I think about the long term consequences of anything I do, I am aware when I am acting out and look for root causes of problems and I have an awareness of how external temporary forces are affecting my moods. I entered this home quarantine with a sense of peace and have good strategies with dealing with the difficulties that are being thrown at us.

My brother on the other hand I worry is at the breaking point. Young kids, strained marriage exacerbated with his wife being on the front lines of the pandemic. He was never great at handling stressful situations and now he is entering the most stressful circumstances of his life. He has called me a couple of times at the breaking point. I have convinced him to do tela therapy and I hope it sticks. I know it took weeks for in person sessions for me to make an impact and I hope he has the time and energy to make it work.

I have also seen so many friends who don't seem to like their wife and kids. Like if you ask people on the street what makes them happy and everyone knows they are suppose to say "my family", but during this time that doesn't seem to be the case. I was out in that wilderness for some time so I can't judge, but I have turned a corner where there really isn't thing that makes me happier than SPENDING TIME with my family. It helps my kids are older and I am not changing diapers and what not, but it's a good place to be when we are up under the same tiny roof 24/7.

It's tough. I probably would have been in a bad place if this happened a year or two ago. Seeing that there is an other side in which therapy helped me reach (and maybe can help others reach) wants me to encourage other people to seek help. This too shall pass and there are folks who can help you see that.



**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

Specifically my parents and in-laws, both of whom are firmly within various risk-factor demographics. And my dad in particular is pretty stubborn and as a result I know for sure he's taking nearly zero precautions to protect himself.

So I worry about them more than anyone.

Re: what you said about nuclear families, my wife and I have no kids and I must say - we are fortunate that we get along incredibly well; cuz I could see this being difficult on couples that may depend on time apart to thrive in their relationships. My wife and I are both very social beings but truly love eachother's company so this transition, thus far at least, has been as smooth as possible for us.

But like you were saying I imagine a lot of couples and families are having a really tough time, if they were already hanging by a thread for whatever reasons.

----------------------------------------

"Fuck aliens." © WarriorPoet415

They're both 75 (or my Dad is about to be), and they recognize the importance of sheltering in place. My father is a peditrician, so he's been ultra militant about staying at home and not interacting with anyone. I don't think he's left the house in the past few weeks other than to take walks in the morning and afternoon. My Mom only leaves to take walks and go to the grocery store maybe once a week (My wife and I pick them up produce and other stuff that they don't sell nearby).

My closest friends father's is being hard-headed. Like, extremely so. Apparently still insisting that he's not going to let this outbreak ruin his life and prevent him from doing things, like banking, in person. And he's older than my parents and is dealing with some serious health issues already. My friend had to do a one-person intervention with him. I sincerely hope he listened.

-----------------

www.albumism.com

Checkin' Our Style, Return To Zero:

https://www.mixcloud.com/returntozero/

>Specifically my parents and in-laws, both of whom are firmly
>within various risk-factor demographics. And my dad in
>particular is pretty stubborn and as a result I know for sure
>he's taking nearly zero precautions to protect himself.

it's a daily conversation/haggle where my mom is saying she needs to go somewhere she doesn't need to go, and i tell her no, i'll do it. She's talking about how her friends go out and run errands, and I'm suddenly the parent saying "So if your friends jumped off a bridge..."

I'm sure she'll be somewhat cautious but not enough

show trucks about to be loaded with bodies is right across the street from me

Only time it hit me was two nights ago. got a sick worried feeling thinking of the health care workers there

group chats have been helpful, therapeutic to me

one we kind of talk around the virus, one is educational but I had to confront one of my buddies for consistently spreading doom and gloom

I asked if he was ok, because usually fear becomes contagious and can be detrimental to group mental health. I think facts are important but I also think it needs to be conscious about how everyone is feeling. The article about the trucks being loaded with dead bodies being shared with the comment "this is right next to you bro!" was kind of what set me off, to be honest.

I saw those images, it was surreal even online so I have no idea what you're feeling.

I have a couple constant doom and gloom panickers in my world too. I dont know how to react other than try to offer perspective or more hopeful news. it doesn't seem to work, I dont want to discount them because I have major anxiety behind all this too, but I dont want to feed it either because it's so unhealthy in its own right. There are a couple people on my news feed I had to mute. These are people I'm not necessarily close to and it's just a constant stream of who died in the last hour, or any article that lays out the worst projections, of false recoveries or healthy young people dying

I get that everyone has their own way of dealing, but I'm not trying to curl up in a ball of fear.

Stay up tho, man. Also, stay in.

>I have a couple constant doom and gloom panickers in my world
>too. I dont know how to react other than try to offer
>perspective or more hopeful news. it doesn't seem to work, I
>dont want to discount them because I have major anxiety behind
>all this too, but I dont want to feed it either because it's
>so unhealthy in its own right. There are a couple people on my
>news feed I had to mute. These are people I'm not necessarily
>close to and it's just a constant stream of who died in the
>last hour, or any article that lays out the worst projections,
>of false recoveries or healthy young people dying
>
>I get that everyone has their own way of dealing, but I'm not
>trying to curl up in a ball of fear.
>
>Stay up tho, man. Also, stay in.


ugh. those cats are the worst man! Spreading news and facts does not necessarily mean we need constant horror stories of vulnerable communities and neighborhoods taking huge losses. But I also recognize that it comes from anxieties they are feeling internally, so I am going to try to reach out on some casual mental health check shit.

Yeah, been hitting the park down the block a few times a week. a couple times met up with homies that live close (keeping distance) to run and do workouts. Other than that, staying inside. My wife gives me a little grief and I have become more and more paranoid as a result (as I should). But the exercise is really good for anxiety.

Hope you're good out there too bro

I have the backpack rappers who swear it’s due to 5G or some other conspiracy. I can dig it.. I love a good conspiracy too but these are kind of a stretch.

Also have a few dumbasses who keep posting dumb questions.. then get mad when people throw facts at them. I give them a pass.. they just want some interaction.

Then I have the ladies who think telling everyone to wash their hands in every other post is deep shit.

Last but not least I have my “let’s get it started FB friends” these are mostly women from back home who always fight in bars or argue with family on FB. They are going through it with all this isolation so they are starting to talk shit and send subliminal shots to family and friends.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

amen

>I have the backpack rappers who swear it’s due to 5G or
>some other conspiracy. I can dig it.. I love a good conspiracy
>too but these are kind of a stretch.
>
>Also have a few dumbasses who keep posting dumb questions..
>then get mad when people throw facts at them. I give them a
>pass.. they just want some interaction.
>
>Then I have the ladies who think telling everyone to wash
>their hands in every other post is deep shit.
>
>Last but not least I have my “let’s get it started FB
>friends” these are mostly women from back home who always
>fight in bars or argue with family on FB. They are going
>through it with all this isolation so they are starting to
>talk shit and send subliminal shots to family and friends.
>

All the first groups are basically continuations of the normal groups but with a n95 mask on, but that last one wanna shake things up to get through the day. these people are the ones I'm concerned about

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

Staying in and keeping to myself is largely what I do anyways. Not to a ridiculous extreme. I shop.take my kids to the movies, the zoo, etc.

So there are some changes, but these are minor.

Depression and anxiety is and has been a way of life for me for as long as I can remember.

That persistent feeling of dread, that feeling that the worst case scenario is always right around the corner, or that functional mediocrity is the best case scenario, is pretty much woven into the fabric of "me" at this point.

You know how, in Golden Compass, everyone has a Daemon? That's what all this shit is for me. And when it comes to my kids, I already actively fear the worst anyways. Because I went throughout stretches of not eating at all, stretches of living off of nothing but plain rice for several weeks, being homeless, nouncing from place to place...etc... I already have a deep-rooted fear that my kids will wind up having to endure similar things.

These things are already there, some shitnthat just hangs out in the background, and they already fuck with me. There is the added dread of something serious happening and they get this thing. That's new. But it just sort of folds into the rest.

The big change for them is not being in school. Yeah there are virtual classes and whatnot, but not for my son. Auntie does some things with them during the day, and my current challenge is forcing myself tk go home and become a teacher. I'm definitely failing that right now. I'm failing them right now, on that front.

But on the positive end of this, my wife and I are both essential works. I still get, and work, overtime, so we're not facing immediate financial hardships. It is somewhat risky to not quarantine outright, because we're paycheck to paycheck. So perhaps that's something to consider.

So, in it's own, odd, semi-Darwinian way, I'm ideally suited to get through this in ways that others don't seem to be.

How's that for optimism?

I hear you.

I'm sure you're doing the best for your children. Seems like a lot of parents are struggling with the homeschooling, so at the least you're not alone. I'm not a parent but I wouldn't imagine your children will be terribly setback from a couple of months of this.

At least your children *are* doing work. My friend is a teacher (high-school) and his biggest challenge is just getting a hold of his students to check in. A lot of them are treating this like a vacation. Granted, there are a lot of adults struggling with this whole scenario too.

I say all of this to say that you're doing your best. That's likely good enough in this case and it definitely is all that can be asked of you, especially since you're working more than your fair share.

<--- Me when my head hits the pillow

i'm a caregiver for my grandma and mom. they live around the corner from me and not seeing them isnt an option, and i'm thankful i can walk over. obviously my primary concern is passing infection on to them, but second to that is being sidelined and not able to look out for them.

i'm furloughed from work so my only contact with the world are stores so i'm masked up and wiping everything down when i get back. Been able to have their doctor's appointments via video.

I'm limiting my news intake enough to stay informed and not lose my shit, and I'm pretty annoyed by certain friends and people online who seem to be in 100% panic doomsday mode, and like mentioned i the other reply will share any outlier story as long as it presents worst case scenarios or present anecdotal stories as the norm

Day to day right now is relatively easy. I have no problem staying home steaming shows and fucking around online. In some ways life is gravy right now. My childhood was coming home from school and watching Tv alone and chilling, or staying home alone while parents wen't out and partied. i was made for this shit lol.

Though in Cali we are projected to be 2-3 weeks away from the worst. Calm before the storm. I hope we're ready .

ready for isolation than others, either by being latchkey kids and self sufficient from youth or being introverted with an introvert's hobbies

(seen a dude in my chat type in all caps how years of gaming has made him built for coronavirus)

>i'm a caregiver for my grandma and mom. they live around the
>corner from me and not seeing them isnt an option, and i'm
>thankful i can walk over. obviously my primary concern is
>passing infection on to them, but second to that is being
>sidelined and not able to look out for them.

My mother is older but pretty self sufficient but it would be a long train ride to see her. I haven't seen in her in a couple months. Definitely worried but I check in almost daily. Being close by to your family will be huge if things get bad around you so you can keep tabs and help with things around the house if not having physical contact.

>i'm furloughed from work so my only contact with the world are
>stores so i'm masked up and wiping everything down when i get
>back. Been able to have their doctor's appointments via video.

I've been working from home and that definitely helps keep my day organized. People I talk with are split. I definitely think those that are more bored have become a little more down in the last week. Other dudes are committed to learning shit like coding or whatever, that might be helpful.

>Though in Cali we are projected to be 2-3 weeks away from the
>worst. Calm before the storm. I hope we're ready .
>

Yeah don't be an asshole and hoard but definitely think about putting things aside now.

>>i'm furloughed from work so my only contact with the world
>are
>>stores so i'm masked up and wiping everything down when i
>get
>>back. Been able to have their doctor's appointments via
>video.
>
>I've been working from home and that definitely helps keep my
>day organized. People I talk with are split. I definitely
>think those that are more bored have become a little more down

i definitely miss the structure of going to work. i also kind of like having break. i'll start worrying when this stretches out too long and i'm stretched too thin financially, but i'm covered for a little bit at least.

>in the last week. Other dudes are committed to learning shit
>like coding or whatever, that might be helpful.

yeah i need to start doing something like that.

>
>>Though in Cali we are projected to be 2-3 weeks away from
>the
>>worst. Calm before the storm. I hope we're ready .
>>
>
>Yeah don't be an asshole and hoard but definitely think about
>putting things aside now.
>

mos def. *i'm* ready, i just meant Cali in general. watching NY/Italy etc, is really scary.

It’s other people I worry about. I’m doing my best to comfort those around me.

making calls, sharing information and falling asleep via FaceTime with people...

God bless
we family

thought about contributing to this post, but honestly iont want my mind to go there





Peace to everybody sharing their thoughts tho, for real.

I'm in a place in life where I'm limited due to having two young kids (as in no long ass 60 mile plus weekend bike rides or random solo museum trips) which means that I'm either at work or at home - but my work was in midtown so there was excitement going into the city, being in the city and seeing new shit.

Seeing the same thing over and over and over and over and over and over and over WITH NO WAY TO ESCAPE is fucking with me.

I WAS living in Brooklyn in a house with a backyard - but we moved to NJ for a long term work related move. So we went from a house to an apartment. I'm seeing the same goddamned walls every day.

At least once or twice a day while doing some mundane task my brain will hit a point where I'm thinking "I can't leave. I can't leave. I can't leave. FUCK"

Fuck every single introvert asshole who has said "ya know, I was built for this, I like staying in!"

I'm an introverted motherfucker as all shit but I like being alone in crowds, not alone with myself for long periods of time.

I'm anxious on/about the thought of being locked in for another 30 days, another 60 days, another, fuck, 120 days.

Can't go anywhere. There is no escape.

The economy can shit it's guts out, this can all get as ugly as it wants to get - but if I don't have a way to feel small amounts of freedom, I am going to become depressed.

***********************************************************
https://soundcloud.com/swageyph/yph-die-with-me

I know you’ve got the kids. If someone else is with them, take 10 minute solos. If not, take them outside for ten. I feel more free breathing that fresh air.

I hear you though. Cabin fever in an apartment is a whole other thing.

----
bshelly

"You (Fisher) could get fired, Les Snead could get fired, Kevin Demoff could get fired, but I will always be Eric Dickerson.” (c) The God

On the one hand, I want them to be home. On the other hand, I need things.

I was mad at my husband because he ordered a video game. You want a delivery driver to risk it all for that shit? But at the same time, it was shipped and delivered, so should I feel guilty?

I don’t order out because...you get the idea. But at the same time, you get emails and ads that say it’s okay to patronize these businesses. If I don’t patronize them, will the lowest paid workers be ass out because no money is coming in?

I’m also trying not to wish death on people. The level of stupidity and hate that’s out there pisses me off to a point that makes me uncomfortable. I’m trying not to become the people I angry with, if that makes sense.

But like you, (1) I need things and (2) a lot of the places I'm trying to frequent are places that may not exist anymore if not for regular patronage. So I try and keep that in mind when I'm deciding where to go for the things I need.

I want to help small businesses stay afloat during this shit. I just decided earlier tonite that I'm gonna buy some gift certs this weekend to some of my favorite neighborhood food spots and bars in an attempt to do my small part in trying to ensure they are able to see this thru to the other side, since they've obviously treated me well in good times. Would hate to see a lot of these mom and pop places and/or newer spots that were just getting going, lose everything as a result of something none of us anticipated.

I'm super sad about a local dispensary that just opened in my neighborhood like a week before all this quarantining popped off. I was so psyched about the ownership situation - it was the first black-owned dispensary to open in MA - and wanted to give them a ton of business right off the bat. Then they had to close down like 2 weeks after opening. I have to look into whether there's any way for me/my neighbors to keep them afloat through all of this. I know they went through a lot, including a ton of borrowing, just to get off the ground. Would be an absolute shame if they had to shutter after all that work.

----------------------------------------

"Fuck aliens." © WarriorPoet415

.
>I just decided earlier tonite that I'm gonna buy some gift
>certs this weekend to some of my favorite neighborhood food
>spots and bars in an attempt to do my small part in trying to
>ensure they are able to see this thru to the other side, since
>they've obviously treated me well in good times. Would hate to
>see a lot of these mom and pop places and/or newer spots that
>were just getting going, lose everything as a result of
>something none of us anticipated.

I’ll do that this weekend.

>
>I want to help small businesses stay afloat during this shit.
>I just decided earlier tonite that I'm gonna buy some gift
>certs this weekend to some of my favorite neighborhood food
>spots and bars in an attempt to do my small part in trying to
>ensure they are able to see this thru to the other side, since
>they've obviously treated me well in good times. Would hate to
>see a lot of these mom and pop places and/or newer spots that
>were just getting going, lose everything as a result of
>something none of us anticipated.

Trying not to become the people I hate is the struggle. I have to convince myself not to rail at my Trump voting, Fox News watching father every day about how goddamned right I was. It’s a waste of breath, and it only distances me from loving everybody.

----
bshelly

"You (Fisher) could get fired, Les Snead could get fired, Kevin Demoff could get fired, but I will always be Eric Dickerson.” (c) The God

I've got my weekly tele-appointment with my therapist and he's been fantastic.

I'm making sure to stay active in some way shape or form on a daily basis.

Bill Hader said something that has stuck w/ me about he realized that he has to exercise not to get ripped or any of that shit but just to not lose his mind. So I've been at least walking or doing short workouts a few days a week.

I've been rocking heavy with Tara Brach for meditations and working through her RAIN stuff and reading Radical Compassion as well.

Also been working on eating well enough to have energy during the day, lose some weight and not feel like shit.

-------------------------------

A lot of you players ain't okay.

We would have been better off with an okaycivics board instead of an okayactivist board

>Bill Hader said something that has stuck w/ me about he
>realized that he has to exercise not to get ripped or any of
>that shit but just to not lose his mind. So I've been at least
>walking or doing short workouts a few days a week.

This is really it. I'm in the habit (in normal human times) of working out for like 1.5-2 hours at least 3, but usually 4, days per week with cardio and weights involved each day. So this has been a huge transition for me as I obviously assume it has been for a lot of us in this regard.

Luckily my wife has been running gyms and doing group and personal fitness training for the better part of 2 decades, so one of her gyms has had her transition to some online half hour classes a couple times a day, so I'm able to get a reasonable workout in a couple times a day even without the requisite equipment at home. And we've been running outside the few days it's been nice out up here in the northeast.

And, as you/Hader said, even though I'm doing nowhere near the intensive, longform workouts I usually do ... even getting 45mins to an hour in each day is keeping me from going totally insane.


>Also been working on eating well enough to have energy during
>the day, lose some weight and not feel like shit.

This is where I fail and why I need to workout so hard generally. I can't eat well. I do OK during the week but I crush on the weekends haha. Cannot stay away from greasy food. Steak & cheese is my weakness.

----------------------------------------

"Fuck aliens." © WarriorPoet415

my therapist guided me through my first meditation session, yesterday. I suck at it, lol. He asked me to try it twice per day for 10 minutes at a time to start. It's so fucking hard to slow my mind down. Also, with no way to go the gym and throw the weights around...I've got to come up with some way to get busy at home. Maybe I'll cop some kettle bells online or something. The weather has been pretty dope, so I'll be riding the bike a lot, starting this weekend. That should help.

...I'm from the era when A.I. was the answer, now they think ai is the answer - Marlon Craft

but when i miss days i can definitely tell meditation works.

.

...I'm from the era when A.I. was the answer, now they think ai is the answer - Marlon Craft

>my therapist guided me through my first meditation session,
>yesterday. I suck at it, lol. He asked me to try it twice
>per day for 10 minutes at a time to start. It's so fucking
>hard to slow my mind down. Also, with no way to go the gym
>and throw the weights around...I've got to come up with some
>way to get busy at home. Maybe I'll cop some kettle bells
>online or something. The weather has been pretty dope, so
>I'll be riding the bike a lot, starting this weekend. That
>should help.

That's really great man. Are you using an app or a guided meditation when you role solo? Tara Brach made an observation in one of her talks about how we can get down on ourselves about meditation. She said basically that you wouldn't get mad at a puppy for not being able to sit/stay. Or say 'That puppy sucks at sitting' You'd just gently guide it back time after time after it runs off or doesn't sit until you, over time, train it to. It's the same w/ our minds and it's important to have that gentle quality with ourselves. Your sitting and you're working on things and that's dope.

Yeah, I don't know what the online situation is on Kettlebells I have a couple of pairs and a small one for mobility work but I know when shit started popping off they were impossible to find for a bit. I was trying to cop some 24kgs but all the local supply stores were out. Hope you have better luck!

Getting outside has been great especially now w/ less traffic, people in my area and before it gets crazy hot

-------------------------------

A lot of you players ain't okay.

We would have been better off with an okaycivics board instead of an okayactivist board

and getting after it. I see what you mean with the kettlebells. Shit is rugged, out there. I found some at Dick's sporting goods...but, I'd have to drive 90 minutes to pick them up. Finally found one place online with individual ones in stock. Seems like they bustin heads, though...16s are $70, 20s are $90 and 24s are $105.

...I'm from the era when A.I. was the answer, now they think ai is the answer - Marlon Craft

supposed to make me depressed but they didn't, I don't think. Doctors were always asking me "are you depressed?? do you feel any depression??" and I was like "nah, I good!"

Now this current world situation, I don't THINK it has me "depressed" but at the same time as a black man we're conditioned from childhood to just "deal with shit".

I'm currently working from home which I count as a blessing but for how long? If this quarantine shit last 3-4+ months which it might, things could change quickly.

At the same time I have a lot of friends and family in the restaurant and service industry that are just ass out. Then I have a lot of friends and family with "essential" jobs at hospitals and first responders that have to get out in this shit everyday regardless.

Shit's hard. Cabin fever has definitely set in. I've been doing "virtual happy hours" online with friends almost every day which definitely help but drinking daily is not good. Above someone mentioned meditation and I actually thought about that earlier today while doing some breathing exercises.

I took my first night of no drinks in like 10 days last night. Back on it tonight.

FWIW, I work for an economic forecasting firm now, and we say the longest this downturn will last is 6 months. It should start getting better sooner rather than later, which is good for all our jobs.

----
bshelly

"You (Fisher) could get fired, Les Snead could get fired, Kevin Demoff could get fired, but I will always be Eric Dickerson.” (c) The God

https://www.amazon.com/Dua-Na-Bilo-Premium-Fijian/dp/B01MSS0ATH/ref=sr_1_12?dchild=1&keywords=kava&qid=1585935636&sr=8-12


i was heavy into kava for a good while, then I ran out.

I just reuuped beacuse of this post.

BUT if you are using MAOIs then kava might not be for you. no real SSRI interactions.

***********************************************************
https://soundcloud.com/swageyph/yph-die-with-me

We all we got.

----
bshelly

"You (Fisher) could get fired, Les Snead could get fired, Kevin Demoff could get fired, but I will always be Eric Dickerson.” (c) The God

a co-worker tested positive. i haven't been in the office in 2 weeks, but they sent out the notification, news from stores i've been in of employees testing positive. My boy's building sent a notice about someone in his building. Stories of friends of friends, one in NY who passed away.

as testing increases i know this is only going to escalate to people i know, or of course possibly me and mine

but it's crazy surreal how both fast and slow moving this is. every few days things are a little bit different.