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Ryan M
Member since Oct 21st 2002
42364 posts
Thu May-19-05 12:01 AM

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"The Definitive DVD Commentary Rules Post"


  

          

1. Talk throughout the whole movie. I don't wanna hear huge gaps where I sorta hear the movie cause the volume is like 50%. That's no good.

2. Don't read prewritten essays. That's just awful and annoying and racist.

3. If you have multiple people on the commentary...put them in the same goddamn room and let them do the commentary TOGETHER (what a marvel idea huh?) I'm sick of hearing commentaries flash back and forth from person to person, placed seemingly arbitrarily to what's going on onscreen. Wack!

4. Funny commentaries are okay on funny movies and such. I will allow it.

5. Million person commentaries are, 9 times out of 10, no good. I'm afraid to listen to any of the LOTR commentaries for this reason...there are TOO many people listed on the back of the box for it to be any good. Keep it manageable...Kevin Smith probably does the best commentaries (in terms of comedy) and he uses 7 people or so per track, but he makes it work.

6. "Selected scene commentary" = Nix this from your vocabulary at all costs please, thanks.

More as I think of them.

------------------------------

17x NBA Champions

  

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Topic Outline
Subject Author Message Date ID
Don't narrate...COMMENTATE!
May 19th 2005
1
Mel Brooks shoudl never be allowed to do one again
May 19th 2005
3
horrocious?
May 20th 2005
21
      horrocious = opposite of scrumtrilescent
May 20th 2005
27
Number one greatest offense.
May 19th 2005
14
Funniest Commentary I've Heard So Far - Boogie Nights
May 19th 2005
2
"you think Luis Guzman was high that day?"
May 19th 2005
4
Check out Conan the Barbarian
May 19th 2005
9
      I bought Total Recall last week for that very reason
May 20th 2005
24
      ya, dis is where everyone's screwing.
May 20th 2005
31
      RE: Check out Conan the Barbarian
May 22nd 2005
35
to avoid gaps
May 19th 2005
5
a good discussion leader is always a plus...
May 20th 2005
28
Rule #1 should be...
May 19th 2005
6
Um, I love that commentary.
May 19th 2005
7
      Um, ok
May 19th 2005
20
           Who says a commentary can't be casual/funny/scattershot?
May 20th 2005
23
                Missing my point completely
May 23rd 2005
45
RE: The Definitive DVD Commentary Rules Post
May 19th 2005
8
But see...
May 19th 2005
11
schedules, man.
May 19th 2005
12
      disagree
May 19th 2005
18
           don't disagree with me
May 19th 2005
19
Conan did his Simpsons' commentary on the phone...
May 20th 2005
29
Wow, my first anchor.
May 19th 2005
10
yeah well, don't go and cheapen it...
May 19th 2005
13
      LMAO!
May 19th 2005
15
      Goonies commentary...
May 19th 2005
16
      Goonies commentary...
May 19th 2005
17
1. don't try to be too clever.
May 20th 2005
22
"racist"
May 20th 2005
25
It's a joke sir.
May 20th 2005
26
      I think you mean farce...
May 20th 2005
30
      a combo of old interviews and a voice mimick reading his
May 21st 2005
33
sometimes - you don't need a commentary.
May 20th 2005
32
The cast of Goonies should do every commentary
May 22nd 2005
34
Talk about the damn MOVIE, not ppl who pissed you off while making it
May 22nd 2005
36
He did that only twice...briefly.
May 22nd 2005
38
      I was talking about Clerks The animated series
May 22nd 2005
39
           Oooh, right you are.
May 22nd 2005
40
                what did he say about Family Guy?
May 22nd 2005
41
                     That it wasn't funny and that Clerks was better.
May 22nd 2005
42
                          give him the short version "HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE"
May 23rd 2005
47
                          How about neither? nm
May 24th 2005
48
Shaun of the Dead has funny/informative commentary
May 22nd 2005
37
NO EATING!
May 22nd 2005
43
That's not as bad as Rock and Roll Circus
May 23rd 2005
44
RE: The Definitive DVD Commentary Rules Post
May 23rd 2005
46
anchorman dvd is a must buy
May 24th 2005
49

FrankEinstein
Member since Dec 03rd 2003
3758 posts
Thu May-19-05 09:10 AM

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1. "Don't narrate...COMMENTATE!"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

Stop fucking describing what's happening on the screen and where we are in the story, asshole. I've seen the movie, I've bought the DVD, now I'm listening to the commentary. I KNOW what's going on, I've seen the movie! Think of something else to talk about or don't have a commentary track, bitch.

  

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Slim Ass Rivets
Member since Apr 06th 2005
843 posts
Thu May-19-05 11:02 AM

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3. "Mel Brooks shoudl never be allowed to do one again"
In response to Reply # 1


  

          


He sits there and laughs at the jokes (that you know are now unfunny to all but him), and even worse...starts repeating punchlines as if we missed it.

The Spaceballs commmentary was horrocious

  

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willydynamite
Member since Oct 18th 2004
24205 posts
Fri May-20-05 03:29 AM

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21. "horrocious?"
In response to Reply # 3


  

          

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=616818689
www.myspace.com/willydynamite

  

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Slim Ass Rivets
Member since Apr 06th 2005
843 posts
Fri May-20-05 04:00 PM

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27. "horrocious = opposite of scrumtrilescent"
In response to Reply # 21


  

          


It was so bad i had to make up a word to convey its not-goodedness

  

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biscuit
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Thu May-19-05 05:11 PM

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14. "Number one greatest offense."
In response to Reply # 1


  

          

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

*Effasig*

  

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WarriorPoet415
Member since Sep 30th 2003
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Thu May-19-05 10:50 AM

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2. "Funniest Commentary I've Heard So Far - Boogie Nights"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

On the special edition anyways....

Dudes are just chillin' in one of the actor's houses with some drinks, letting all types of hilarity spill out the piehole.


************************************************

<<<<<<<<Don't Drool On The Avy>>>>>>>>

"There's a fine line between persistence and foolishness..."
-unknown

"To Each His Reach"
-George Clinton

**************** OKP Free Agent****************

  

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Myno
Member since May 02nd 2005
307 posts
Thu May-19-05 11:09 AM

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4. ""you think Luis Guzman was high that day?""
In response to Reply # 2


  

          

good shit

  

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gmltheone
Member since Jun 11th 2003
8564 posts
Thu May-19-05 02:38 PM

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9. "Check out Conan the Barbarian"
In response to Reply # 2


  

          

Ahnuld doing commentary is worth it.

-------------
Favorites songs of the moment
H2o Gate Blues & Song for Bobby Smith

  

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johnny_domino
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Fri May-20-05 01:59 PM

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24. "I bought Total Recall last week for that very reason"
In response to Reply # 9


  

          

also, it was $6

  

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fats
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Fri May-20-05 09:36 PM

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31. "ya, dis is where everyone's screwing."
In response to Reply # 9


  

          

  

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brodie808
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Sun May-22-05 09:20 AM

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35. "RE: Check out Conan the Barbarian"
In response to Reply # 9


  

          

when he starts talking about that camel....

HILARIOUS.

------------------------
"You can't just go out and buy a championship ring ... well, unless Dwight Gooden runs out of coke."
-Adam Carolla

  

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DrNO
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Thu May-19-05 11:38 AM

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5. "to avoid gaps"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

get an interviewer if need be for the commentary who knows their shit.

_
http://youtube.com/watch?v=4TztqYaemt0
http://preptimeposse.blogspot.com/

  

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Mr Mech
Member since Jul 02nd 2002
8373 posts
Fri May-20-05 06:09 PM

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28. "a good discussion leader is always a plus..."
In response to Reply # 5


          

This is why I like Bey Logan's commentaries so much. Even when he's on tracks with actors who don't speak english very well, he keeps things moving and interesting.

Mech

  

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MrMajor
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Thu May-19-05 01:53 PM

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6. "Rule #1 should be..."
In response to Reply # 0


          

Talk about the damn movie. Anyone ever watch the Big Trouble in Little China commentary? 20% of it was about the actual movie the other 80% of it was John Carpenter and Kurt Russell catching up on old times. Also when a derector goes into a long ramble that spills over into several other different scenes, scenes that you want them to talk about too but they to busy explaining something that happened 10 minutes ago.

  

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Frank Longo
Member since Nov 18th 2003
85480 posts
Thu May-19-05 02:09 PM

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7. "Um, I love that commentary."
In response to Reply # 6


  

          

For beer lovers: http://thebeertravelguide.com
For movie lovers: http://russellhainline.com

  

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MrMajor
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Thu May-19-05 06:36 PM

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20. "Um, ok"
In response to Reply # 7


          

It was still horrible though.

  

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Frank Longo
Member since Nov 18th 2003
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Fri May-20-05 12:50 PM

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23. "Who says a commentary can't be casual/funny/scattershot?"
In response to Reply # 20


  

          

The Anchorman commentary is hilarious too, and it just wanders to and fro.

For beer lovers: http://thebeertravelguide.com
For movie lovers: http://russellhainline.com

  

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MrMajor
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Mon May-23-05 10:27 AM

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45. "Missing my point completely"
In response to Reply # 23


          

A comedic commentary to comedy doesn't sound out of the ordinary, even one for a comedic action flick. But is it a lot to ask that a movie commentary talk about the movie thats being commented on? If you can't at least comment( comedicly, academically, casually or whatever) on the movie then whats the point? I'd like to hear your thoughts on the movie not "So whats bob been up to these days?"

  

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REDeye
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Thu May-19-05 02:22 PM

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8. "RE: The Definitive DVD Commentary Rules Post"
In response to Reply # 0


          

>3. If you have multiple people on the commentary...put them in
>the same goddamn room and let them do the commentary TOGETHER
>(what a marvel idea huh?) I'm sick of hearing commentaries
>flash back and forth from person to person, placed seemingly
>arbitrarily to what's going on onscreen. Wack!

I understand how this might be a problem, but logistically, it's going to be hard to assure that. And sometimes it works. On Pirates of the Caribbean, the three (sets of) screenwriters were not together, but for the most part it sounded like they were. They weren't talking to each other, but they all talked about what was happening on the screen and so their commentary was always on point.

RED
Ora et labora

  

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Ryan M
Member since Oct 21st 2002
42364 posts
Thu May-19-05 03:06 PM

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11. "But see..."
In response to Reply # 8


  

          

We live in a time now where people can do radio shows together at seperate parts of the country.

There is no reason they can't do this.

------------------------------

17x NBA Champions

  

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REDeye
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Thu May-19-05 03:34 PM

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12. "schedules, man."
In response to Reply # 11


          

These people are usually off working on other projects. It's not like they are just sitting around with nothing to do. Trying to get actors and directors and writers to have the same few hours available is just not realistic.

RED
Ora et labora

  

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colonelk
Member since Dec 10th 2002
5056 posts
Thu May-19-05 05:14 PM

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18. "disagree"
In response to Reply # 12


  

          

When they make the film, they manage to free up several thousand hours together. For the DVD (which these days generates more revenue than the theatrical film) they can't find two?

--------

hell-below.com

  

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REDeye
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Thu May-19-05 05:53 PM

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19. "don't disagree with me"
In response to Reply # 18


          

disagree with the people who make the DVDs.

>When they make the film, they manage to free up several
>thousand hours together. For the DVD (which these days
>generates more revenue than the theatrical film) they can't
>find two?

And it takes more than two hours. Depending on how in depth they want to be, it's easily a full day's work.
And they aren't always in the same city.
And it's recorded months after the movie is done, on a (usually accelerated) schedule all its own, regardless of what the principles are doing.
And despite how much money DVDs make, none of the suits involved give a shit about DVD commentaries.
And so people doing the commentary don't get paid anything extra.

Don't misunderstand. I'm not sure how widespread this separate recording is. It's certainly not done all the time. But these are perfectly plausible reasons why they would do it separately. And those reasons aren't going away any time soon.

RED
Ora et labora

  

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Mr Mech
Member since Jul 02nd 2002
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Fri May-20-05 06:11 PM

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29. "Conan did his Simpsons' commentary on the phone..."
In response to Reply # 8


          

...and it worked out very well.

Mech

  

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Ryan M
Member since Oct 21st 2002
42364 posts
Thu May-19-05 03:05 PM

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10. "Wow, my first anchor."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

------------------------------

17x NBA Champions

  

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FrankEinstein
Member since Dec 03rd 2003
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Thu May-19-05 04:24 PM

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13. "yeah well, don't go and cheapen it..."
In response to Reply # 10


  

          

...by pointing it out, man! Play it cool like it ain't a thing, damn!

  

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biscuit
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Thu May-19-05 05:12 PM

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15. "LMAO!"
In response to Reply # 13


  

          

Sock 'im Frankie.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

*Effasig*

  

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MadDagoNH
Member since Oct 03rd 2002
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Thu May-19-05 05:13 PM

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16. "Goonies commentary..."
In response to Reply # 13


  

          

Was the shit. They all ripped on each other, ripped on how they were, ripped on Astin, it was just a real funny group get together.

Say what you want about Affleck, but Smith and Affleck doing Chasing Amy's commentary was awesome as well.

------------------------------
Proud Supporter of the 2004 World Champion Boston Red Sox, The Three-time Super Bowl Champion New England Patriots, The 16 Time NBA Champion Boston Celtics, the four Time NCAA and 26 time Beanpot champion Boston University

  

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MadDagoNH
Member since Oct 03rd 2002
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Thu May-19-05 05:13 PM

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17. "Goonies commentary..."
In response to Reply # 13


  

          

Was the shit. They all ripped on each other, ripped on how they were, ripped on Astin, it was just a real funny group get together.

Say what you want about Affleck, but Smith and Affleck doing Chasing Amy's commentary was awesome as well.

------------------------------
Proud Supporter of the 2004 World Champion Boston Red Sox, The Three-time Super Bowl Champion New England Patriots, The 16 Time NBA Champion Boston Celtics, the four Time NCAA and 26 time Beanpot champion Boston University

  

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willydynamite
Member since Oct 18th 2004
24205 posts
Fri May-20-05 03:44 AM

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22. "1. don't try to be too clever."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

the anchorman commentary is a victim of this in certain parts. having lou rawls there for no reason was gold, but they tried to do too much schtick in certain parts. it worked with david koechner, but christina applegate doesn't have the improv skills to pull it off. also, the first 20 minutes of them doing nothing but cursing for the sake of cursing since it was an 'uncensored' commentary was lame.

2. only have people in the commentary who are important parts of the flick (writer, director, actors, producer), or are very knowledgable on the movie who can interject when people aren't talking (example: vincent pereira, the view askew "historian"). don't have the fucking boom mic operator there talking about shit nobody cares about.

3. make sure there's enough mics for everybody. it sucks when you can hear the main person and almost everybody else is barely audible.

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FuriousFreddy
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Fri May-20-05 02:22 PM

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25. ""racist""
In response to Reply # 0


          

oh, what about "commentary" from long deceased persons (for example, Walt Disney's commentaries on "Snow White" ans "Fantasia")?

  

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Ryan M
Member since Oct 21st 2002
42364 posts
Fri May-20-05 03:39 PM

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26. "It's a joke sir."
In response to Reply # 25


  

          

I'm obviously using hyperbole.

Anyway I wasn't aware Walt had "commentaries" on those DVDs...how did they do them? Just old interviews pieced together or what?

------------------------------

17x NBA Champions

  

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Mr Mech
Member since Jul 02nd 2002
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Fri May-20-05 06:13 PM

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30. "I think you mean farce..."
In response to Reply # 26


          

Hyperbole is blowing something out of proportion.

Mech

  

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FuriousFreddy
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Sat May-21-05 12:31 PM

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33. "a combo of old interviews and a voice mimick reading his"
In response to Reply # 26


          

production notes

  

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fats
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Fri May-20-05 09:37 PM

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32. "sometimes - you don't need a commentary."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

xxx? resident evil?

  

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cantball
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Sun May-22-05 07:25 AM

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34. "The cast of Goonies should do every commentary"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          


__________________________________________________________

http://www.myspace.com/chamilton






The stars they disappear
One by one with daylight dear
And yes you're in my head
But that doesn't make you here
-Win Bulter

  

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Adwhizz
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Sun May-22-05 04:13 PM

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36. "Talk about the damn MOVIE, not ppl who pissed you off while making it"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

Kevin Smith I'm looking at you!

R.I.P. Loud But Wrong Guy
Dec 29th 2009 - Dec 17th 2017

  

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Ryan M
Member since Oct 21st 2002
42364 posts
Sun May-22-05 04:24 PM

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38. "He did that only twice...briefly."
In response to Reply # 36


  

          

1. TS in Mallrates. Jeremy or Jason London, I dunno which one. He just talked about how stoned he always was...I found that hilarious.

2. Linda Fiorentino in Dogma. Smith's hate was justified.

------------------------------

17x NBA Champions

  

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Adwhizz
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Sun May-22-05 05:43 PM

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39. "I was talking about Clerks The animated series"
In response to Reply # 38


  

          

The entire commentary tack was him complaining about folks at ABC.

R.I.P. Loud But Wrong Guy
Dec 29th 2009 - Dec 17th 2017

  

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Ryan M
Member since Oct 21st 2002
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Sun May-22-05 06:21 PM

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40. "Oooh, right you are."
In response to Reply # 39


  

          

Although, he did have reason to bitch I thought.

Now the Family Guy shittalking...that was unwarranted, especially given the quality of the Clerks Animated Series (potential was there but it wasnt quite...good...yet).

------------------------------

17x NBA Champions

  

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AFKAP_of_Darkness
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Sun May-22-05 07:05 PM

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41. "what did he say about Family Guy?"
In response to Reply # 40


  

          

_____________________

http://fc03.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2010/287/6/c/the_wire_lineup__huge_download_by_dennisculver-d30s7vl.jpg
The man who thinks at 50 the same way he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life - Muhammed Ali

  

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Ryan M
Member since Oct 21st 2002
42364 posts
Sun May-22-05 07:10 PM

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42. "That it wasn't funny and that Clerks was better."
In response to Reply # 41


  

          

And that if people weren't so stupid, they would have watched the competing Clerks cartoon rather than the mundane Family Guy.

Of course, that's not verbatim, but its basically what he said.

------------------------------

17x NBA Champions

  

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Adwhizz
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Mon May-23-05 06:11 PM

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47. "give him the short version "HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE""
In response to Reply # 42


  

          

That's all you need to know about what SMith Said

R.I.P. Loud But Wrong Guy
Dec 29th 2009 - Dec 17th 2017

  

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PolarbearToenails
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Tue May-24-05 11:06 AM

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48. "How about neither? nm"
In response to Reply # 42


  

          

-
Bullseye with Jesse Thorn
A public radio show about things that are awesome.
http://www.maximumfun.org
"This is the kind of show people listen to in a more perfect world." - McSweeney's

  

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DeadMike
Member since Jan 28th 2005
1030 posts
Sun May-22-05 04:17 PM

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37. "Shaun of the Dead has funny/informative commentary"
In response to Reply # 0


          

The Edgar Wright/Simon Pegg commentary was good as was the one with the 5 main actors.

  

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MikeLove
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Sun May-22-05 10:04 PM

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43. "NO EATING!"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

you muhfuckas thing i'm playing, but during the Chapelle's Show season 1 commentary (all done by dave & neil) Dave's co-writer Neil is actually EATING during commentary! you can hear the fork against the plate, the eating noises, everything. it's only on 1 of the episodes, not the whole thing.


look, i know you bastards are soooooooo busy with the show, but eat on your own time, idiot.

<----- The reason your team's players jump into the stands after a TD

  

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BlueNote
Member since Oct 20th 2004
953 posts
Mon May-23-05 12:07 AM

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44. "That's not as bad as Rock and Roll Circus"
In response to Reply # 43


  

          

Keith Richards is talking then his dog comes into the room and Keith starts playing with the dog, I actually got a good laugh at that.

  

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ZioN
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Mon May-23-05 10:36 AM

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46. "RE: The Definitive DVD Commentary Rules Post"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

>1. Talk throughout the whole movie. I don't wanna hear huge
>gaps where I sorta hear the movie cause the volume is like
>50%. That's no good.

i agree. but what pisses me off is when they talk about something and just keep on the topic for so long, that parts of the movie that i want to be discussed come and go and they are still crapping on about a point that is about a less relevant scene or idea than the one they talked over. if that makes sense?

>5. Million person commentaries are, 9 times out of 10, no
>good. I'm afraid to listen to any of the LOTR commentaries for
>this reason...there are TOO many people listed on the back of
>the box for it to be any good. Keep it manageable...Kevin
>Smith probably does the best commentaries (in terms of comedy)
>and he uses 7 people or so per track, but he makes it work.

definitely! i'd much rather have at the most, 3-4 people on and that's all. director, maybe prod designer, lead actor (can sometimes offer interesting things). i don't really wanna hear from costume designers, producers etc

---

  

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loopdigga
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Tue May-24-05 01:15 PM

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49. "anchorman dvd is a must buy"
In response to Reply # 0


          

for the commentary alone. One of the best ever.

  

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