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K... I'ma break this down
>"they call me the empire / imma take this city down / know >the name man, yo im world renowned / you can ask ya girl, i >get around / whether its over here or uptown /
That don't flow 2 smooth-- that last line you gotta pause or SUMTHIN 2a fill in the blank... That's not a good thing. It's left a lil short
when im done >this shit'll be a ghost town / the only thing left will be a >crown / ill put it on my head and laugh / then you'll realize >who gets the last laugh /
I dunno mayne... when you're performin, I'm pretty sure you don't want anything around you 2a be empty. N the last 2 lines got me thinkin I'm missin sumthin
man you dont know the half of this / >you'll be sitting there confused, waiting for the mist to lift >/ when im done with you no one will remember you exist / all >you see comin at you is a fist /
Aight... This is a lil better. But the next line is juss stranded--- It's a lil break in the verse
oh man check it out, here >comes the twist /
ill ruin you people over your own beat / >you need to move over there and stand on the reinforced >concrete / watch out before ya girl becomes a woman of the >street / i may be only 16, but i bring the heat / with me >around, there is no other white meat / ... (lets >go lets go)
You're stretchin with that concrete line. And you talkin bout beatjackin... haha... And you talkin bout the second pause... where's the first???
>i shine light on everyone like the moon at night / wear some >eye protection if it gets too bright / im like a gallon of gas >-- you dont wanna see me ignite / ill blow up like a bomb site >tonight /
Those first 2 lines is like Kansas... but that ignite line ain't 2 bad.
N Once again you got a stranded line
im a maverick like my name was Dwight /
straight >dunkin and rebounding over you bastards / come at me you get >stuck like plaster / im a master of disaster, i cause >destruction / there really is no need for an introduction /
Readin this it's like... you pausin juss a lil after every line? I dunno... it juss seems like it would be spit that way
>this is the empire boy, ill ruin your day / you'll wanna see >me get locked away / look man, your tracks are wack / sit back >and take notes about this lyrical attack /
What's this empire you speakin of? haha My dad's watchin sumthin on the TV n ya know... I dunno what it is
yeah boy, the >empire just struck back / keep this up and you'll get whacked >more than Shaq / im the center of attention, no one can post >me / i come with various styles like popourri /
Empiyyyaaa!!! I'm kinda tired right now... I been outside playin ball and ran like... 1.864 miles earlier today.
your stuff is >elementary like the ABC's / im sick with it, i already got a >college degree / this has been talk from a real emcee"
And it was my grandparents' 35th anniversary so I went over to my uncles. We went 2a some Asian buffet n they was rushin me out cuz they had 2a get home 2 feed their newborn--- (Talkin bout my Uncle n Aunt) > >
> >"they ask me, how do you rap without cursing? / well i come >through in the first with the sickest of verses / takin care >of y'all people like registered nurses / i burst on the rap >scene like a bubble / man i dont need a crew - i go no >huddle"
Speakin of... who's winnin tha AFC West this year? That ish is gonna be hella tuff.
Your writin reminds me of mine 2 years ago--- Unstructured, each line irrelevant 2 the next... how long you been writin?
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