... "A Beautiful Struggle"
https://m.facebook.com/jamelabullock
Www.reverbnation.com/jamela

MELa
Musically.Entertaining.Lyrically.Alluring.

... "A Beautiful Struggle"
https://m.facebook.com/jamelabullock
Www.reverbnation.com/jamela

MELa
Musically.Entertaining.Lyrically.Alluring.

... "A Beautiful Struggle"
https://m.facebook.com/jamelabullock
Www.reverbnation.com/jamela

MELa
Musically.Entertaining.Lyrically.Alluring.

Last night I kept trying to fish and I had my pole I had bait but either I couldn’t find the water and people kept directing me to a different place and I still never could get to the water. Or I’d be in a setting where I was drinking a big house party and I couldn’t find my car. I was always searching for something that I couldn’t find. I hate those dreams because I wake up feeling weird cause I spent so much time looking and it was just a dream.


Funny thing is yesterday while at yoga the instructor said the best way to make your dreams come true is to wake up. That shit hit me deep. That’s a Muhammad Ali quote. Never heard it before last night tho.
... "A Beautiful Struggle"
https://m.facebook.com/jamelabullock
Www.reverbnation.com/jamela

MELa
Musically.Entertaining.Lyrically.Alluring.

>best way to make your dreams come true is to wake up.

yeah the dreams are among the first things to really pick up.. I also found that not drinking and such the whole getting tired naturally thing at night is a very different feeling too... I don't tend to get hungover when I drink but it does mess my sleep up pretty bad I toss and turn all night make every hour.

the most useful thing i've learned about quitting (quit drinking and nicotine with zero outside help) is that craving/urges/desires always eventually pass. they feel interminable but generally go away in 20-30 minutes. just do something else when you feel like having a drink. try to be mindful about how addiction (i hope i'm not assuming too much here) works and changes your brain chemistry. if you know you want a drink because your brain is in an abnormal state and sending you signals to drink then you can acknowledge that as an aberration and let those thoughts pass without incident

it takes way more work to quit, relapse, and then start the quitting process over than it does to just quit. time is an increasingly precious resource. don't waste time backsliding and then having to start the process over again. just do it once and be done with it!

Thank you.
... "A Beautiful Struggle"
https://m.facebook.com/jamelabullock
Www.reverbnation.com/jamela

MELa
Musically.Entertaining.Lyrically.Alluring.

IG: amadu_me

"...Whateva, man..." (c) Redman

------

12 play and 12 planets are enlighten for all the Aliens to Party and free those on the Sex Planet-maxxx

XBL: trkc21
Twitter: @tyrcasey

______________________________________

Navem nu, cuando sol
Tutu nu, vondo nos nu
Vita em, no continous non
Nos nu ekta nos sepe ta, amen

When the sun shades the ship
We sweat and life is not safe
To swim or to touch not
When we unite we hedge amen

magnesium powder is good for sleeping or relaxing at the end of a long day.
its the shit: https://www.amazon.com/Natural-Vitality-Magnesium-Stress-Original/dp/B000OQ2DL4


HOWEVER

if you want to take it to the next level then I recommend kava. its a step above having a few beers but a step below a joint. it's an ancient pacific island root based drink that will chill you the fuck out.

I dont even like alcohol anymore, this is the jam.

try this:
https://www.bulakavahouse.com/collections/instant-kava


I would reccomend kratom but I'm anti that shit now that people are acting like total fucking fools.

***********************************************************
https://soundcloud.com/swageyph/yph-die-with-me

... "A Beautiful Struggle"
https://m.facebook.com/jamelabullock
Www.reverbnation.com/jamela

MELa
Musically.Entertaining.Lyrically.Alluring.

***********************************************************
https://soundcloud.com/swageyph/yph-die-with-me

I saw it could cause liver damage. Which wouldn’t work cause I’m not sure if my liver is already susceptible to damage from years of hard drinking.
... "A Beautiful Struggle"
https://m.facebook.com/jamelabullock
Www.reverbnation.com/jamela

MELa
Musically.Entertaining.Lyrically.Alluring.

Instant is easier.

Its a pain in the ass to make, trust me, I have tried, it takes forever. Some people love the process of kneading a bag forever but I'm off that. Instant, you just dump a scoop into water and stir.


The liver damage thing is when you use stuff thats not matured, it takes 4 years to grow and the stuff that causes liver damage is made from roots that were only grown a year - further, you WILL know it if you have the shitty stuff because it will make you feel like shit and have a two day hangover. The testing that lead to liver damage findings were all done using bad kava.

BUT, if you do kava it is not reccomended that you drink at the same time because its hard on your liver if alcohol and kava are combined AND kava is an alcohol potentiator so it will make 1 drink feel like 4 and 3 drinks feel like 15.

The place I linked is trusted and their product is tested.

***********************************************************
https://soundcloud.com/swageyph/yph-die-with-me

... "A Beautiful Struggle"
https://m.facebook.com/jamelabullock
Www.reverbnation.com/jamela

MELa
Musically.Entertaining.Lyrically.Alluring.

I’ll order it then
... "A Beautiful Struggle"
https://m.facebook.com/jamelabullock
Www.reverbnation.com/jamela

MELa
Musically.Entertaining.Lyrically.Alluring.

... "A Beautiful Struggle"
https://m.facebook.com/jamelabullock
Www.reverbnation.com/jamela

MELa
Musically.Entertaining.Lyrically.Alluring.

Then maybe try to add the weekends to it? Just a suggestion.

I'm no teetotaler. I drink pretty regularly but I generally avoid drinking during the week. That's no hard & fast rule. Every so often, there's a special occasion or I just may want something during the week. But I'm pretty good about not going at it hard on "school nights."

Anyway...good luck.

after tonight lol.

Try and keep yourself busy so you're not thinking about it.

-------------------------------------------------
http://www.soundcloud.com/sectachrome

So obviously I had a bad night. Drank too much and had to get a very unpleasant lecture from my parents. They love me. They know I’m not good with drinking. People that are close to me say I change into a different person when I drink. I’m tired of hearing about it and have decided to change. So

Today I feel like shit. Stomach all tore up. Today will be an easy day to not drink because I don’t feel well because of drinking too much last night.


I’m going to post about the 7 days honestly here. I already have three times this week where I know I will be around alcohol so I’m mentally preparing to restrain myself from taking the bait.
... "A Beautiful Struggle"
https://m.facebook.com/jamelabullock
Www.reverbnation.com/jamela

MELa
Musically.Entertaining.Lyrically.Alluring.

>I’m going to post about the 7 days honestly here. I already
>have three times this week where I know I will be around
>alcohol so I’m mentally preparing to restrain myself from
>taking the bait.

any option to NOT be around alcohol those 3 times?

<-><-><-><-><-><-><-><-><->
<-><-><-><-><-><-><-><-><->

are you a mean drunk?

“So back we go to these questions — friendship, character… ethics.”

I’m usually a people person who thinks like 3 steps ahead of everything. When I drink I want to be alone and I don’t want to think or worry about anything or anyone.
... "A Beautiful Struggle"
https://m.facebook.com/jamelabullock
Www.reverbnation.com/jamela

MELa
Musically.Entertaining.Lyrically.Alluring.

I don't know if you've ever read where you've posted that matter.


.
.
“Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind.” ~ Albert Einstein

"I cannot see how nature could have created itself. Only a supernatural force that is outside of space and time could have done that. ~ Francis Collins

... "A Beautiful Struggle"
https://m.facebook.com/jamelabullock
Www.reverbnation.com/jamela

MELa
Musically.Entertaining.Lyrically.Alluring.

Sure, you may not have a serious problem, but there's nothing wrong with getting an evaluation to help you know where you stand and what actions you can take to help knock this issue out.


.
.
“Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind.” ~ Albert Einstein

"I cannot see how nature could have created itself. Only a supernatural force that is outside of space and time could have done that. ~ Francis Collins

Made some veggies for my late night snack. Spinach and carrots sautéed in beef tallow. Drinking orange juice. Will probably lay it down soon. Day 1 was good.
... "A Beautiful Struggle"
https://m.facebook.com/jamelabullock
Www.reverbnation.com/jamela

MELa
Musically.Entertaining.Lyrically.Alluring.

I think it requires replacing drinking with something that is incompatible with drinking.

The easiest to recommend is exercise. First couple of weeks you will hate both, exercise and not drinking.

But eventually you turn a corner and you reach a point where you don't want to drink because it will interfere with your exercise.


Banuary works for me because it's a finite period of time. 1 month without drinking, let me prove it to myself and others.

By third week every time my skin clears up, drop a few LBs and I have a ton of energy which is motivation to do it longer.

A lot of drinking is from habit I think. Got to change the routine to live the dream.


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

My habit is getting a drink. Especially a strong drink when I have a few hours to myself. What happened the other day was I was out dropping off kids and running errands and was done by 10am. So I made the decision to go to the abc store and get a bottle of vodka. Not too big not too small. And then I went home sat in my driveway and listened to music and drank said vodka. I had 5 hours before I had to do anything and I figured that was plenty of time to do me and sober up. It wasn’t. When my so. Got off the bus I was tired. I worked with him on homework and then fed him but was ready to lay down. Three hours later I went to get my other son from daycare and fed him. I was ready to lay down but they weren’t. They were full of energy (of course) and I was tired emotionally and physically. My parents came home and saw how messy the house was and saw my face and knew what was up. I don’t let the house get messy unless I’m too tired to stay on top of my kids.

Now I say this is a habit but it doesn’t always involve vodka. It may just be a few beer but in a shorter time frame.

It may be wine late at night after I put the kids to bed. But that’s when I want to drink when I can be alone and have a break in responsibility.


I guess I have to remember as a parent a few hours is not a break for drinking. I never get a break from responsibility cause anything can happen. But the thought of that makes me want to drink.


... "A Beautiful Struggle"
https://m.facebook.com/jamelabullock
Www.reverbnation.com/jamela

MELa
Musically.Entertaining.Lyrically.Alluring.

Waking up feeling like shit and using that as motivation is hard to maintain

We usually don’t want to drink while we are recovering but as soon as we feel better..

One day at a time tho.

You living with your parents and getting it in?

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

2 weekends ago, I went hard with my young nephew (he's 27 and 6'7) for 4 days straight. I told myself that I just can't do that to myself the next few weekends. I just need to stay away from everything...beer, wine, liquor, whatever.

Nah, me & the little lady went for a few sips at the neighborhood hipster spot. She has some friends coming into town this weekend and we're all gonna meet at a brewery. *Kanyeshrug*

able to quit and maintain on their own. Two things are gonna need to be options; A supportive sobriety program or a Super Natural Move of the Lord God.






.
.
“Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind.” ~ Albert Einstein

"I cannot see how nature could have created itself. Only a supernatural force that is outside of space and time could have done that. ~ Francis Collins

and I suppose it's not a "problem" for someone who can pull themselves out.

It breaks my heart to see people struggle with any kind of substance or addiction, no matter how slight it may appear.


.
.
“Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind.” ~ Albert Einstein

"I cannot see how nature could have created itself. Only a supernatural force that is outside of space and time could have done that. ~ Francis Collins

i'm not with it

even with AA or god on your side the crux of battle between an individual and addiction lies with the individual. they need to make the choice to quit and actually quit (willpower), then stay sober (discipline). god doesn't quit for you. the people in AA won't quit for you. neither will keep you sober. it's all on the individual to quit and stay the course. i think there is some value in having some kind of support system but it's not at all necessary

>able to quit and maintain on their own. Two things are gonna
>need to be options; A supportive sobriety program or a Super
>Natural Move of the Lord God.

The willpower is needed, the self-determination is needed, the desire is needed, motivation is needed. But the support is needed too, especially when the person needs the will of a community to help them make it to the next day or hour. I also know first hand what addiction can do to a person and family, and I know what works when it comes to helping a person break that deadly chain. SP, save all the rah, rah. I'm not minimizing anything.


.
.
“Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind.” ~ Albert Einstein

"I cannot see how nature could have created itself. Only a supernatural force that is outside of space and time could have done that. ~ Francis Collins

support systems can be vital for some people. nothing wrong with that. i took umbrage with your assertion that quitting cannot be done without AA or god. i don't think that's the case. it seems like AA and/or god assistance is something you witnessed and that helped shape your opinion

He took umbrage with my comments. Man Get Thee Hecketh Outeth Here.


.
.
“Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind.” ~ Albert Einstein

"I cannot see how nature could have created itself. Only a supernatural force that is outside of space and time could have done that. ~ Francis Collins

said he ordered a drink at 10AM.. looked around and realized it was messed up he had to drink that early to feel normal.

Never had another drink

BUT

he also confessed he almost burned the house down a good 5 to 6 times passing out.

so he had extra motivation.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

But, on the real that's great. I'm glad things turned around for the better. Alcoholism is a serious disease that has taken many folks out in life. Many who survive and are able to get free have to always be mindful of the possibility to be overtaken again.


.
.
“Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind.” ~ Albert Einstein

"I cannot see how nature could have created itself. Only a supernatural force that is outside of space and time could have done that. ~ Francis Collins

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

Kept it in the house for guest too

he still had trees tho.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

Thing is I don’t want to never have a drink again. I just want to. E able to have a drink and then stop. It’s weird. I’m not a social drinker. When I’m out in public I may have one drink. It’s when I’m at home and alone that I will drink till I can’t drink anymore. Then I just want to sleep.
... "A Beautiful Struggle"
https://m.facebook.com/jamelabullock
Www.reverbnation.com/jamela

MELa
Musically.Entertaining.Lyrically.Alluring.

and a lot of folks used to say drinking by yourself is a clear sign you got a problem. I don’t buy that type of thinking but my concern is the kids.

Let’s say your kid gets sick and you have to go to the hospital at 4AM????

Can you drive them?

This is a question I have posed to myself which slowed down my intake a bit. Nothing wrong with having one or 2 after work but getting to the point where you can’t function if needed is a great reason to slow down.

Also, I think you may need help with this, don’t be afraid to ask for help.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

I don’t want to spend excess money. Don’t want to embarrass myself. Don’t want a dui or worse hurt someone by being intoxicated driving.

And I realize that anything could happen anytime of the day so it’s not a good idea to over drink especially on a normal basis.

Which is why my goal is to drink much much less. Take a break and then learn how to be a person that can have a drink a beer or a glass of wine without drinking the whole bottle or six pack.

The other day when I drank it was at 10:30am and I had a bottle of vodka. A fifth I believe. By 11:30 the bottle was gone. The rest of the day was my body dealing with that much alcohol in such a short amount of time.

However when I’m out with people I may have two beer or one mixed drink that I sip on.

The goal is to get to that point alone. To be able to have a bar at my house one day and not drink it all up in one day because it’s there.

I know that will take time and the first step is to just stop for a while and let my body and brain heal and get focused. From there I can figure out if it’s even worth trying to occasionally drink or just abstain
... "A Beautiful Struggle"
https://m.facebook.com/jamelabullock
Www.reverbnation.com/jamela

MELa
Musically.Entertaining.Lyrically.Alluring.

weekends, and when I do, it's much less than I used to

If you can, pick up something physically demanding during the week that requires your body and mind to be sharp and healthy. The rewards you get from that will be much richer than those you feel when you're drinking. As you know, habits are developed over time. so the more weeks go by where you are drinking only 3 days of the week, the more it will be easy to maintain the habit longer term.

I struggle myself but I've cut down significantly over the last 3 - 5 years. Still more work to do and far from perfect, but it's a never-ending battle.

...except I don't drink every week, mostly when the children are visiting their grandparents or whatever. That said, when I drink nowadays, I *drink*...

I realized I had a problem sometime in the mid-00's when I had been partying for more than one week straight and after saying bye to a visiting friend, I felt the urgent need for some alcohol in spite of already drinking much of the day. This scared me and made me buy a Sprite instead. For some reason, I've always felt that Sprite saved me from going full-blown alcoholic because I would have crossed the "habit becomes necessity"-line had I bought some alcohol instead.

I was taking down anywhere from a full 6 pack/bottle of wine to the head each night for a long time



I got caught up in the San Francisco peter pan lifestyle where living in a bar was just a part of life.


These days, I only like to drink beer when I cook on sundays and I find alcohol boring.

***********************************************************
https://soundcloud.com/swageyph/yph-die-with-me