"10 years ago today, we set sail upon Lake Minnetonka "
Did you guys realize that today is officially the ten year anniversary of the 2005 Vikings bye week, aka SEX BOAT?
For those who need a recap, what's wrong with you? This was literally our generation's JFK/moon landing combined, only on a boat. But a bunch of underachieving football players brought some hookers on a charter boat and then had sex with the hookers on the boat. That's basically it, but it was something you had to be there for, man.
There was also a bunch of drama on the boards about it, because some threads got locked and people just went NUTS. Did Zeno get banned during that time? I think he did, shit just wasn't the same. It was bonkers.
I assume ESPN is using today as an opportunity to announce their next 30 for 30 "When Lake Minnetonka was Valhalla: The Great Sex Boat of 2005" (directed by Albert Magnoli) later, but let's use this as a space to reminisce, talk about our favorite conspiracy theories, and talk about how the Sex Boat changed your life personally.
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12 play and 12 planets are enlighten for all the Aliens to Party and free those on the Sex Planet-maxxx
1. "Fred Smoot did a Reddit AMA a while back" In response to Reply # 0
Where he described Bryant McKinnie putting a girl on the bar and going down on her. He called it "running through the okra patch."
Is there ANY doubt Bryant McKinnie is/was the physical embodiment of DA YOO in the 21st century? Only thing that could've been better is if he was wearing his full length man fur while doing it (note, if he wasn't, don't tell me.)
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12 play and 12 planets are enlighten for all the Aliens to Party and free those on the Sex Planet-maxxx
45. "yes, and no one has ever been banned on OKS..." In response to Reply # 20
..contrary to popular belief, there have only been a handful of people banned from OKP.
yes, there have been occasions where we've put people on ice (a temporary timeout), and even those incidents were well after initial warnings were ignored. anyone posting on okp about how they were once banned is lying to you.
6. "he wasn't lifetime banned, I think he went into boycott mode" In response to Reply # 4
i don't remember the details, other than the mods felt we were getting too off topic in too many posts and people through a shit fit, in part because some of the legendary aliases from GD showed up and helped us party. If someone else remembers more of the details, I'd love a refresher, because the partying and subsequent backlash was high message board comedy.
---- bshelly
"You (Fisher) could get fired, Les Snead could get fired, Kevin Demoff could get fired, but I will always be Eric Dickerson.” (c) The God
8. "What happened to all the Grey Goose on board?" In response to Reply # 0
Reportedly, a player (Nate Burleson? Probably Nate Burleson) yelled at one of the bartenders for running out of Grey Goose. In that time, amateur Sex Boat sleuths have come up with a number of theories as to what happened. Some of the most popular:
-Koren Robinson drank it all. PRO: He was a raging drunk who had just been cut from Seattle for raging drunkenness, who else would do it? CON: He had just signed with the team and may not have been close enough with anyone to get invited. also, 05 was the best season of his career, which completely runs counter to everyone else on the boat and how shitty they were that season.
-Pat Williams snuck it all away under his belly fat. PRO: Easily could have fit 4-5 bottles just in his stomach, and when you add his neck and arm folds in there? Very plausible. CON: Or was that Kevin Williams? Or Moe Williams?
-A backup running back stole them all to save on his upcoming nuptials. PRO: Weddings are expensive, anywhere you can cut costs could be huge. CON: He was engaged, stop snitchin.
-Troy Williamson broke all of the bottles. PRO: Grey Goose bottles are slightly football-shaped, and Williamson's inability to hold on to anything resembling a football with his tiny infant hands is well documented. CON: Unknown if this extends to things he's picking up from a bar or only things thrown to him.
VERDICT: Matt Birk probably drank it and then yelled at everyone for being abortion-loving gay Mexicans or something. Fuck Matt Birk.
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12 play and 12 planets are enlighten for all the Aliens to Party and free those on the Sex Planet-maxxx
22. "To keep things in perspective" In response to Reply # 11
this website and message board are as old as the Things Fall Apart album. If memory serves me right, this website was established as promotion for that album.
Kind of surprising that album wasn't reprinted recently for vinyl to celebrate its anniversary. Would have been nice to cop some of the different album covers in larger vinyl cover format.
"Sean sparks like John Starks, nah, Sean ball like John Wall" - Rest In Power Forever Sean Price.
15. "How was Darren Sharper NOT on this boat?" In response to Reply # 0
Purposely uninvited? Did he decline because it wouldn't work with his "system?" Worried that there might be consensual sex around him and didn't want to get grossed out?
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12 play and 12 planets are enlighten for all the Aliens to Party and free those on the Sex Planet-maxxx
16. "Wow, it's already been 10 " In response to Reply # 0 Tue Oct-06-15 11:15 AM by LA2Philly
I was a freshman at Cal when I was first introduced to the powers of Minnetonka sex boating. Definitely one of my favorite and most memorable moments on here.
--------------------------------- <--The drought is over
"have fun reveling in your pettiness tho" (C) Dula summing up 98% of OKS
"I didnt finish a damn thing...matter of fact I jerked off after she left." -Kobe speaking to investigators
30. "memorial posts always make me think" In response to Reply # 0
of the day the aliases came to OKS, conquered, and then died.
what was that post about anyway? i just remember the fun and carnage, but not the cause.
----------- Its 2014...there are computers in glasses and people stunt after hitting the ball far. Get over it. -Cenario It's only funny till someone gets mad. Then it's hilarious
40. "you're right. it was the race-baiting moron post!" In response to Reply # 33
thank you. even better now that i remember the backstory ----------- Its 2014...there are computers in glasses and people stunt after hitting the ball far. Get over it. -Cenario It's only funny till someone gets mad. Then it's hilarious
35. "This was less than a year before Goodell took over" In response to Reply # 0
Had this been in the age of Goodell, the entire team would've been suspended for the rest of the season. We had NO idea what was coming to the NFL next.
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12 play and 12 planets are enlighten for all the Aliens to Party and free those on the Sex Planet-maxxx
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