"neighbor was harassing my cousin. she's 25. he's possibly 70."
hard to tell his age because he's got some physical issues. like he's been in a war, a fire or some other trauma.
anywayz
he lives in the apt right below hers. in passing, he started saying stuff to her that he shouldn't have. he likes to see her in her workout 'fits. talking about her body in general.
he knocked on the door a couple of weeks ago. yesterday he left a box outside her door with a four page letter. hand written. shout out to Aaliyah and my keyboard that's sometimey on fours and fives lol.
in the letter, he talked about a particular blue outfit, her skin, him being distracted, and needing a cold shower. he also mentioned that he can't see very well and would need her to drive when they go out. oh and he's working part time. when they go out, he's cool with going dutch at the food court. in the box was a small bag of dog treats for the pitty she just got.
so I go over to have a chat with buddy. she knocks. he opens the door and she gives him the box and letter back. she's saying she appreciates the gesture, though she doesn't because the whole thing is creepy af. he immediately apologizes. I told him to stop talking to her, no more comments, she's not flirting with you, and no more gifts. he's still apologizing. the whole interaction was 2 minutes at most.
we leave and I told her to call the cops to make a report. get this whole thing on record and let the guy know we are not playing with him.
I was cool with how everything went and hopefully this doesn't go any further. the only issue I had was my cuz saying she appreciated the gift and her feeling bad for him. at times she tries to soften the blow for potentially awkward or tough convos. she was also trying to respect her elders by not cussing him out prior to this ep with the box. however I'm a dude so my way of handling it and processing it may not share the same safety concern that she does.
10. "what's you real reason for advising her to report it to the cops??" In response to Reply # 3
Sounds like you handled it pretty well and it should be done. If it perculates up again...then yeah, I can see considering filing a report...but what is even the report???
"An old man sent me a letter and some doggy treats....I told him no thanks.. .Just thought y'all pigs should know. K, thanks."
"Get ready....for your blessing....." "Bury me by my Grand-Grand and when you can come follow me"
12. "the reason is that it was already escalating." In response to Reply # 10
she's seen him multiple times one her camera. he's been to her door a few times already and just stood there. eventually. decided to knock. more comments were occurring when he'd see her coming and going.
leaving the letter and box at the door another boundary crossed. the letter read like he's continually watching her.
24. "how his THIS not enough for you?" In response to Reply # 0 Thu Sep-14-23 12:03 PM by PROMO
"in the letter, he talked about a particular blue outfit, her skin, him being distracted, and needing a cold shower. he also mentioned that he can't see very well and would need her to drive when they go out. oh and he's working part time. when they go out, he's cool with going dutch at the food court. in the box was a small bag of dog treats for the pitty she just got."
he's already alluding to being aroused (needing a cold shower) and assuming they are gonna go out.
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79624 posts
Fri Sep-15-23 06:47 AM
52. "changes EVERYTHING. LOCK HIM UP!!!" In response to Reply # 45
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79624 posts
Fri Sep-15-23 06:45 AM
51. "nigga you ain't seen shit" In response to Reply # 44
j/k
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
6. "Record for what though?" In response to Reply # 5
I am not sure what the record gets you. He didn't break any laws.
It sounds like Buddy handled it well and it should be done. Maybe call the cops if he breaks the new rules just established but it sounds like its over.
********** "Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson
8. "If I’m reading this story correctly though, this was the " In response to Reply # 7
first time he got “rejected” by her, and he immediately apologized. Yeah he sounds creepy as heck given the age and the comments. But there weren’t laws being broken here.
Calling the cops to get it on record because of anticipation that he might do something in the future seems like a bit much. For example the same type of justification in calling the police has done all kinds of harm to Black folks because of “concerned neighbors” calling in the police because of suspicions they have.
If he was to still try to holler after being turned down that’s where I could see calling the police.
11. "I don't think you have to break a law to have cops involved" In response to Reply # 8
and I see no point in waiting for a law to be broken to have them speak to him. that's too late.
I get that cops can escalate things in some cases. we've all seen it, but we've also seen where a woman gets harmed because cops weren't involved early enough.
there's no real protocol for this. she wasn't sure to do, which seems to be the case more times than not. calling her dad wouldn't made the situation worse because he's volatile and doesn't handle things well. I see this as saving everybody from this becoming a bigger thing.
13. "You did what you had to do. " In response to Reply # 11 Thu Sep-14-23 10:34 AM by Buddy_Gilapagos
You were there, and we were not. And you being there was being a good family member and probably made the rejection message more likely to get across then you not being there. So good stuff.
But you also shared this on social media so we gonna have thoughts on it.
I don't think you needed to call the cops to make a record of it for next time. If there is a next time you call the cops, relay the prior interactions (with you as a witness) and you can get that restraining order. If he breaks the law then you don't really need record of the prior interaction to get him arrested.
I am the one always catching heat here because I still think cops are necessary and I think Defund the Police is bullshit...but I don't think this is the type of thing we need cops for when you handled so well by yourself.
Again, you did what you had to do and you ain't got to explain it to no one online, but you did share and we gonna have thoughts
********** "Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson
14. "Old dude got the cops called for pitching woo lol" In response to Reply # 0
Maybe your description is leaving out some details, but getting the law involved here seems very extra. It seems like this is the first his first realization that his gestures were unwelcome.
If he keeps going after being told no, then I think the cops could step in. But it looks like he got the point after you talked to him.
38. "Lol what??" In response to Reply # 36 Thu Sep-14-23 03:06 PM by Mynoriti
dude who's her grandpa's age or at least her dad's, who's on camera multiple times just standing outside her door, writing her letters talking about her skin and her blue outfit, and cold showers
just because creepy may be overused doesn't mean THIS ain't creepy
40. "Nah…this is CREEPY. Clearly. There’s honestly so much " In response to Reply # 36
of an age difference I wonder if dementia is part of the issue and that he wasn’t connecting with how much younger she is.
But if this stuff isn’t creepy then I don’t know what is. Anything beyond what he did gets into actual sexual assault/criminal territory.
I know at first I questioned the cops being called because this isn’t criminal. But as I think it through - it shouldn’t be on us the public to put ourselves in more danger because we know the police ain’t shit. If the cops came and roughed up this dude that wouldn’t be the fault of her calling, that’s the fault of the police.
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79624 posts
Fri Sep-15-23 09:25 AM
54. "standing outside her door a few times" In response to Reply # 40
and a letter about cold showers..
at 70..
yeah, that's creepy af
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
25. "B/c it's calling over aggressive ppl with guns to tell him he's a creep" In response to Reply # 23
When they just told him he's a creep.
I guess they want the cops and their guns to scare him and make it a stronger point? He said they wanted to call the cops to "let the guy know we are not playing with him."
I just don't see what the cop adds to the story besides intimidation
31. "Because the cops aren't HR. " In response to Reply # 26 Thu Sep-14-23 12:45 PM by Buddy_Gilapagos
He didn't break the law so it feels like yall think this is like reporting something to HR to put on someone's file for future use.
I am super interested to hear what the cops told the girl when she called them other than, call back if he actually does something threatening.
Maybe, maybe the police will maintain record of the phone call or visit, but I highly doubt it. How much documentation do you really think police are keeping of non-offenses?
And its also not needed. If something happens again, she can just tell the cops about the prior interaction (which she has a witness to). You don't need a police record to get a restraining order. If he breaks the law, you don't need a prior history to get him arrested.
It does very little to strengthen your case, and it puts him at great risk of being harmed by the police.
********** "Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson
32. "The fact that a whole bunch of cops are creeps themselves and this may" In response to Reply # 31
lead to her experiencing more creeps as a result is a whole other can of worm. But them folks are defecto HR and paper pushers. They exist to keep protection of stuff and things as an overwhelmingly large part of their job.
------ “There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus
33. "man, miss me with that shit." In response to Reply # 31
i completely get not wanting police involvement when not necessary because of their propensity to escalate non violent situations to violent ones.
this wasn't that kinda thing.
they just wanted documentation so that IF this escalates, the police can't go "damn, we had no idea this sick fuck was right in our backyard" which is what they always say.
it's not that complicated but of course leave it to OKP.
not sure the cops need to be involved but its your call and your family.
sorry for laughing but “you need to drive if we go out because my eyes” made me chuckle.
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79624 posts
Fri Sep-15-23 01:12 PM
59. "as soon as you said old jewish dude.. lol" In response to Reply # 0 Fri Sep-15-23 01:12 PM by legsdiamond
of course you should protect your people regardless but any other race would call the cops on us for much less.
Bravo!!!
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
69. ""whoa whoa whoa" (c) No Names skit/song from DangerDoom" In response to Reply # 0
70ish, 25
FOUR PAGE LETTER.
THE END.
Nobody WRITES letters anymore. Maybe it was typed and not written but 4 pages. FOUR PAGES.
the fuck are y'all on?
Fuck the police all day and night but I'll be damned if my taxes aren't gonna make the bacon fry while they're here.
With all of the shit women are subjected to on a regular basis while bystanders or those in the know don't do SHIT, and mufuckas in here worried about the dirty old man.....
70. "70 or not, glad y’all nip that in the bud" In response to Reply # 0
I might’ve told his about a decade or so ago, but when I was 20 and working at coconuts records there was a security guard (60+) who was married to a younger woman (30’s) and had a toddler. This nincompoop was stalking me after work and I had no clue until he offered me a ride home and got me there without instruction. He then pops the ‘Ive been watching you for a while now’ while locking the doors. Dude outright said in so many words ‘I can do whatever I want to you’. I sat their quiet, gripping my keys. He finally unlocked the door and I ran in the house. Next day I told my boss (great boss), he called the cops and had dude removed.
Sad thing is I never shared that story with my mom and it was her house we were in front of but I kept looking over my back and shoulders for months to come.
I commend you and your cousin for addressing that mess head on and filing a police report. Don’t let that old age fool you, he could’ve been a big time serial rapist/murderer in the 70’/80’s and just never caught.
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