3. "My girl told me her story so I'm gonna share it with y'all just cause" In response to Reply # 0 Wed Jun-03-15 06:27 AM by Mafamaticks
My girl is from a country part of southern Virginia. So puritanical values and church and no stop lights in the whole town and all that shit. She got some BIG ass black vibrator from a friend of hers when she was like 17. She kept it in her drawer. In the middle of the night the shit starts going off.
Now instead of her thinking it was her vibrator, she thought it was a small animal like a squirrel or something that got trapped in there (again, they are from the country). She panics and went and got her father.
Her father hunts squirrels and deer and shit on a regular (Still does. Country.) so he goes in her room to go and grab the squirrel with his bare hands. He ruffles through the drawer and pulls out a BIG ass black vibrator (country, puritanical values, church, etc) from out of his 17 year old daughter's drawer.
He looked at the vibrator and turned it off, looked at her with a look of disgust, shame and sadness and just walked out of the room with the vibrator.
She never saw it again. They never spoke about it after that.
When she first told me the story, I asked her 2 important questions:
Where did he go with the vibrator? How did he know how to turn it off?
She gave me what I can only assume was the same look that her father gave her.
"You can take an African out of Africa, but you can't take Africa out of the African" Afro-Americana/Afro-Caribbana/Afro-Latino unite. We are ALL Black!
26. "i had the same question about turning it off." In response to Reply # 3
-The Knicks’ coaching search still includes a lone frontrunner, Kurt Rambis, whose qualifications for the position include a strong relationship with Jackson and a willingness to take the job.
6. "shit, i have a cucumber masturbation story while we're here" In response to Reply # 0
this was, shit, just over 10 years ago when I lived in the dorms
i was super duper poor and a nice girl on my floor would cook big meals and invite friends to join in.
we were young and were pretty open about our lives and in the previous week she jokingly opened up about her and her dude having an experimental night with each other that involved a cucumber on/in/around her lady parts
we all laughed and didnt think much of it
fast forward a week later and I'm in the kitchen with her helping her cook. she was making a salad chopping up ingredients with a chef knife and suddenly after chopping at an industrious pace she slows down to a crawl when she starts chopping the cucumber, the slow pace continues for another 30 seconds before she resumes to fast pace.
I noticed asked "everything alright?" and she said "uhyeah......"
few days later shes like "what would you do...ok, well, I think that.....you remember how I told you I had sex involving a cucumber...that salad had a cucumber in it and it was in me....I THINK, I wasnt sure, thats why I slowed down, I wasnt sure if it was the one I used on me or another one......I washed it"
"You can take an African out of Africa, but you can't take Africa out of the African" Afro-Americana/Afro-Caribbana/Afro-Latino unite. We are ALL Black!
Atillah Moor Member since Sep 05th 2013 13825 posts
Wed Jun-03-15 10:47 AM
14. "Man that's way worse than when I got caught (back in the day)" In response to Reply # 0 Wed Jun-03-15 10:48 AM by Atillah Moor
Lol pops actually handled it pretty damn well. I wonder if girl has some kind of weird thing now where she wants her man to walk in on her-- if she craves larger sizes, or some combination of the two.
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Everything looks like Oprah kissing Harvey Weinstein these days
"Where was the peace when we were getting shot? Where's the peace when we were getting laid out? Where is the peace when we are in the back of ambulances? Where is the peace then? They don't want to call for peace then.
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