do you all act like it doesn't exist?

do you both behave like you're cramming to understand why the rest of the world is crazy, but somehow you two love-birds seem to make it work?

does the household pick a side?

...

what kind of questions do the babies ask?

what do you tell them?

I can only speak for mine. We talk about it. Most times we agree though there are some things that I have to explain to her that I probably wouldn't have to explain to a same race so. But it's like most couples right? Usually you don't date someone who has a tremendously different world view than yours.

how similar are you alls backgrounds -> worldviews?

where did you meet?

how willing is she to accept your explanation?

is there ever a point of contention where you realize her lack of information or lack of knowledge does more harm than good?

are you committed to teaching her, or it only comes up when there's revolving news coverage?

We talk about everything, but I can't think of the last time we disagreed on any of these issues... for the most part our "common sense" instinctive answers are pretty much the same. I tend to defer to her on the "experience" side of things, but it doesn't come up very often tbh.

_______________________________

))<>((
forever.

we've seen the cases the same way.

fuck you.

...probably weren't shit anyway?

That makes this whole post kind of funny.

don't worry, it was just a little jokie-joke.

Not everyone can pull that off so authentically.

Only Deadzombie.

______________________________________

Everything looks like Oprah kissing Harvey Weinstein these days

On some "Snarkback Mountain" shit.

https://chriswind.bandcamp.com/track/massage

"You can take an African out of Africa, but you can't take Africa out of the African"
Afro-Americana/Afro-Caribbana/Afro-Latino unite. We are ALL Black!

Like Bluebear said, if there's something she doesn't know or understand, I have no problem trying to explain it to her. And it's the same way when we discuss gender issues.

We're smart enough to defer to the other one if they actually experienced or live thru the topic being discussed. At the same time, we're not afraid to speak up if we disagree.

could share with you that would make you re-evaluate your stance on things?

Yeah, I'm black. She's white.

Most of the things she's opened my eyes to are some of the things that women have to deal with. A lot of it is just stuff that i can't comprehend and wouldn't have ever thought about (beyond the obvious).

For instance, some of the safety steps she takes if she's alone. Some of those things wouldn't have ever crossed my mind.

a white one, at that.

does she do the scared-smile thing to strangers?

does she say sorry under her breath excessively?

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

___________________
"So this is what everybody's always talking about! Diablo! If only I'd known. The beauty! The beauty!"

What did I just watch woman was talking about she shot her husband

It was dark the 70s and *scandalized* a black man was trying to get into her bed
~~~~
When you are born, you cry, and the world rejoices. Live so that when you die, you rejoice, and the world cries.
~~~~
You cannot hate people for their own good.

on racial issues?

>do you all act like it doesn't exist?
>
>do you both behave like you're cramming to understand why the
>rest of the world is crazy, but somehow you two love-birds
>seem to make it work?
>
>does the household pick a side?
>
>...
>
>what kind of questions do the babies ask?
>
>what do you tell them?
>
>
>


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson


"One of the most important things in life is what Judge Learned Hand described as 'that ever-gnawing inner doubt as to whether you're

The opposite sounds terrifying/unhealthy/both.

Tbh, living with a partner of a different race is probably THE best way to cut through the bullshit talked about differences between races, cultures and upbringings... I think it'd be hard for anyone who'd shared their lives with someone of a different race (assuming they get on well enough to decide to share their lives) to not see through 99% of racist prejudice/commentary in the world.

No matter what race, I've never met anyone as similar to me (a white boy from rural England) as a Black girl from Greensboro. God bless the fucking Internet.

_______________________________

))<>((
forever.

like, i'm always commenting to her about the downtrodden state of society these days, and the injustices that go on, so because we talk about this stuff pretty often (i'd say once a week) it's not a stretch discuss the situation in BMore or others like it.

it also helps that our backgrounds are very similar so it's not hard for us to get on the same page. the only issue i think we've ever had an "argument" about is gun control.

and we were talking about it, right before the whole Baltimore thing jumped off. The girlfriend surely has a "We are the World" "We're all equal" "Why can't we all just get along" type of view on it. He didn't talk how he usually does when she's not there, which is more on that "fuckin White bread mothafuckas wanna kill us all" but he was really just talking bad about Cops vs Whites as a whole.

------------------------------

50+ FREE Mixes on www.DJR-Tistic.com!

Twitter and Instagram - @DJ_RTistic

just to show these crackers l mean business! (c)

------------------------------

50+ FREE Mixes on www.DJR-Tistic.com!

Twitter and Instagram - @DJ_RTistic

________________________________________________
R.I.P. Soulgyal <3
SUPA NERD LLC.
Knowledge Meets Nature
Musica Negra
#13irteen

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

sheesh.

do yall have to explain to your partner WHY your mad at certain situations of injustice and unequal treatment regarding race?


Kinda like they dont live it so they dont get it

Fuck your fort!

we both get it.

My wife is from Central America and grew up in LA. I don't
have to tell her shit.

______________________________________

Navem nu, cuando sol
Tutu nu, vondo nos nu
Vita em, no continous non
Nos nu ekta nos sepe ta, amen

When the sun shades the ship
We sweat and life is not safe
To swim or to touch not
When we unite we hedge amen

>do yall have to explain to your partner WHY your mad at
>certain situations of injustice and unequal treatment
>regarding race?
>
>
>Kinda like they dont live it so they dont get it
>
>Fuck your fort!

_______________________________

))<>((
forever.

we probably wouldn't be married if we didn't.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Sometimes I contemplate moving to a warmer place, then the lake and skyline give me a warm embrace" © Common

we keep it moving,

______________________________________

Navem nu, cuando sol
Tutu nu, vondo nos nu
Vita em, no continous non
Nos nu ekta nos sepe ta, amen

When the sun shades the ship
We sweat and life is not safe
To swim or to touch not
When we unite we hedge amen

do you put on your 'black eyes' to try and see what she's experienced?

or does she lighten her black eyes, and create space between her and the rest of the blacks?

...

what do you tell the babies?

do they know their parents are radicals?

>do you put on your 'black eyes' to try and see what she's
>experienced?
>
>or does she lighten her black eyes, and create space between
>her and the rest of the blacks?

Nobody has to put on anything. She didn't have to teach me how to try to see racial issues from the perspective of black people as I was already doing that before we even met. One reason why we "worked" together from the start is she didn't have to explain a bunch of shit to me, I already got it. If anything, I'm probably more "militant" (for lack of a better word) than her... I tend to get angrier (or at least sound angrier) than her, but that's more due to our different personalities in general. I have more of an emotional/passionate demeanor than her.

>what do you tell the babies?
>
>do they know their parents are radicals?

Radicals? I don't know what you mean by that. We don't discuss racial issues with our kids at this point as we think they're still too young. We are trying to preserve their innocence as long as possible. If something comes up, we'll discuss it with them of course, but it's not like they watch the news at this point.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Sometimes I contemplate moving to a warmer place, then the lake and skyline give me a warm embrace" © Common

...

radical, as in, you two are a part of something that's not wholly accepted.

do they know their parents are revolutionary?

...

waiting for something to happen before they understand race? ... think something just happened.

...

where'd you develop your intense compassion for blacks?

you completely missed the "at this point" didnt you

______________________________________

Navem nu, cuando sol
Tutu nu, vondo nos nu
Vita em, no continous non
Nos nu ekta nos sepe ta, amen

When the sun shades the ship
We sweat and life is not safe
To swim or to touch not
When we unite we hedge amen

>...
>
>radical, as in, you two are a part of something that's not
>wholly accepted.
>
>do they know their parents are revolutionary?
>
>...
>
>waiting for something to happen before they understand race?
>... think something just happened.
>
>...
>
>where'd you develop your intense compassion for blacks?


^^ sounds like you throwing the "We at war" analogy

we keep it moving,

They are 5 and 4. Of course they see that people have different skin tones, but the whole concept of race and the racism that goes hand in hand with that are foreign to them at this point. And that's part of the innocence of childhood. We don't want to take that innocence away from them any sooner than we have to.

Best believe that appropriate conversations will be had at the appropriate times. We don't subscribe to the post-racial BS. We will make sure that they understand that even though they are bi-racial, that a lot of the world is only going to see them as black and if someone is racist, it's not like they are going to only halfway hate them. All of that will be taught at the appropriate time.

>radical, as in, you two are a part of something that's not
>wholly accepted.
>
>do they know their parents are revolutionary?

No, because there is nothing revolutionary about two people that fell in love and made a family. Looking at our marriage as something special is kinda wrong IMO. Any two people that fall in love and get married should be viewed as the same. Yes, I recognize historically that's not the case and even my own marriage was at one time illegal in some places in this country. That will be taught at an appropriate time as well.


>waiting for something to happen before they understand race?
>... think something just happened.

They don't know anything about what's going on in Baltimore. Should they know about it? That's debateable. Again, we try to shield them from the ills of the world where we can. I can't say when we'll start exposing them to these things, but it will come in time. I will say that on issues of race and racism, I will defer to my wife's judgment for the most part about when those will be discussed.

>where'd you develop your intense compassion for blacks?

this feels a bit loaded, but I'll play.... it really started with hip hop. I was fan of the music, but listening to groups like Public Enemy, I didn't understand a lot of what they were talking about. That really drove me to try to understand the culture that the music was coming from. That pro-black era of hip hop was the catalyst. Also, calling it "intense compassion for blacks" feels like white guilt to me and that's not how I feel. I call it recognizing what's really going on in the world. Recognizing institutional racism and white privilege. I don't have guilt, I have anger cuz so much is still not right. And none of that has anything to do with what color my wife is. I'd feel the same way if I had married a white woman.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Sometimes I contemplate moving to a warmer place, then the lake and skyline give me a warm embrace" © Common

and i give you props for even entertaining DZ.

at 4/ 5 me - personally, had a very clear sense of self and identity.

this will go off topic, but i think those children should be made aware of what's going on around them.

the 'innocence of youth' seems like a way to put-off things until you all can find the words, or it can no longer be ignored.

...

but back on topic.

so it seems like you've chosen to blacken your lenses.

perhaps that commendable. perhaps it's inauthentic.

how does your moms feel?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Sometimes I contemplate moving to a warmer place, then the lake and skyline give me a warm embrace" © Common

last set of question:

why doesn't your wife post here?

do you think the content of this site gives you any insight (or leg-up) up on racial issues and sensitivities?

would you be the same white guy if you didn't read all this black shit?

keep you relevant to the old lady?

deep-deep down inside, do you think you're 'blacker' than your wife?

>last set of question:
>
>why doesn't your wife post here?

I dunno, she's not into social media/internet as I am... I'm glad she doesn't, lol. Outside of FB, the only time she's really on message boards was for more specific things like natural hair, make-up, or The Knot when she was planning our wedding.

>do you think the content of this site gives you any insight
>(or leg-up) up on racial issues and sensitivities?

I've learned a lot from my years on this site for sure... not just on racial issues, but everything.

>would you be the same white guy if you didn't read all this
>black shit?

I would like to think so, but we are all shaped by our experiences. If you take away significant experiences, then sure the person would be somewhat different. It's all hypothetical and not really relevant IMO.


>keep you relevant to the old lady?

being a good father and husband keeps me relevant to my wife.

>deep-deep down inside, do you think you're 'blacker' than your
>wife?

No, not at all. I know I'm white, I know have white privilege. I've never had to worry about something like if wearing my hair in it's natural state would make me look unprofessional to my colleagues. I know that I could read/watch everything there is in the world about the black experience and still never fully understand because I can never live the actual experience.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Sometimes I contemplate moving to a warmer place, then the lake and skyline give me a warm embrace" © Common

shes hispanic and grew up a few blocks from where walter scott was shot

______________________________________

Navem nu, cuando sol
Tutu nu, vondo nos nu
Vita em, no continous non
Nos nu ekta nos sepe ta, amen

When the sun shades the ship
We sweat and life is not safe
To swim or to touch not
When we unite we hedge amen

perceived racial injustices.

The black SO usually is more low key and be like, oh well, while it's the White Partner who be like "WHAT YOU MEAN JAYDEN HAS A TEMPER PROBLEM YOU RACIST ASS TEACHER!"


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson


"One of the most important things in life is what Judge Learned Hand described as 'that ever-gnawing inner doubt as to whether you're

>do you all act like it doesn't exist?

Not possible. She's a Latina.

>do you both behave like you're cramming to understand why the rest of the world is crazy, but somehow you two love-birds seem to make it work?

Nope

>does the household pick a side?

99.9% of the time when it comes to social injustice and
things pertaining to cops we're on the same side. Very rarely
do I have to explain anything.

shit is all rosey and exploratory in the beginning but, after some
time, i realized that i don't have time to explain why shit is
different and why i'm frustrated. the majority of his friends don't
fuck with blacks like that so, i was always wondering if he had the
same view.

plus i'm becoming more bitter and angry about what is going on right
now. i'd rather be with someone that's on the same page.

hell, this is one of the reasons I couldn't marry anything but a Black woman.

prolly woulda married this asian girl if it wasn't for my hang ups with race. I get anxious when people speak different languages in the same room I'm in. Switching back and forth and shit...

I know they talking about me.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

Since a kid, i can more so understand most languages I am around. who ever you date, respect there culture just as much as they respect yours and learn the language

we keep it moving,

I definitely thought about it but nah... I can honestly say I didn't love her enough to want to do that.

her husband is black and he goes to Vietnam all the time to work with her father.

it worked out well for both of us. we are still cool.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

we keep it moving,

But we agree on most issues when she does show interest. It's probably different in Toronto....but we teach her kids to trust police officers. She doesn't have much patience for broad sweeping generalizations about police. And I've had wayyyyyy more negative experiences with police than she has because of lifestyle differences. She's a goody-goody and I've mostly been a ne'er-do-well. She tends to be more forgiving of people and sensitive. I tend to be more judgemental.

I showed her the 'Freddy Gray was trying to hurt himself' post because of a comment someone made that was darkly hilarious and on point. How the hell does someone break their own spine from running into walls? We enjoy laughing at conservative American news stories like that together.

Racial differences come up moreso in planning activities. I suggested we get a tent so that we can take the kids camping this summer. WPS. I suggested we try indoor rock climbing. WPS.

extra money and vacation time.

it's a class thing, that unfortunately has been exacerbated by race.

sad, really.

...

do you all joke about 'white' and 'black' people shit?

Go to a public campsite.....you're not gonna find upper or even many middle class people. Those people go to cottages and cabins. For the most part....it's poor people who camp. In regards to vacation time....even poor people usually have weekends off.

I'm not talking the Adirondacks or the Rocky Mountains. I'm talking about your everyday, average campsite.

We joke about black/white stuff all the time.

relationships definitely affect the household.

so, you're male. a white male.

im guessing your lady is black.

it's an interracial relationship, but the 'guy' or 'head of household' is white.

so she gotta listen to you. and you be on that white shit. that's different if the male is black.

i know, i know.

just stay with me.

...

i know J_sun is the most well-adjusted white man on earth, but all caucasians could only dream of being as enlightened as him.

some white boys fall short.

do you fall short?

The situation you are describing has a prerequisite that is gender-based rather than race-based. So before there are any racial implications.....there HAS to be an undertaking of traditional gender roles in the relationship (ie the woman 'does' what the man tells her to). That's not us. And I've probably already answered that question by saying that she's not down for certain activities I suggest on account of them being WPS. If what you're saying is true....she'd be mindlessly going along with me when I suggest camping, extreme sports and mayonnaise tastings.

In anycase....I think that theory is overly binding on people anyways. It's the kind of theory that indicts black people who don't fit a preconceived notion of blackness. I failed to neglect that my SO is jamaican. 95% of the black people I know are west indian. The other 5% are African. I think there's maybe one or two black friends I have that are Af-Am. So their notions of what's black are gonna be different than yours anyways. Making this theory highly problematic.

she asian I'm black and we both ran the same block. We similar and experienced the same shit by police on our block. Both of us got pulled and guns out so we both feel the same and understand

we keep it moving,

I mean, the babies in the affected communities be knownin that it don't feel right & their concerns should be addressed in an age appropriate way or nah?

I definitely enjoyed my childhood + my innocence was intact despite being explicitly told in my pre-school years that some people aren't going to be nice to you/want to play w/ you when they find out you're Black.

<<Mood...Poppy Okotcha in Look 1 at Ashish Fall 2016
________________________________________

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sa7KBq0q5bU

especially if it's a male baby, with a white father.

the baby may very well see himself in his white fathers image.

My SO's kids have two black bio-parents.

But the talk I have with the mixed kids that I take care of is that you have to be aware of what you ARE. And then you have to be aware of how people see you. Those two things might not be the same depending on circumstances. What you ARE doesn't change. But how you are perceived does change from one situation to another.

That's true for everybody.....but carries more significant ramifications for bi-racial kids.

for biracial kids vs kids that don't identify that way??

<<Mood...Poppy Okotcha in Look 1 at Ashish Fall 2016
________________________________________

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sa7KBq0q5bU

For me....what I AM is half Dutch, half French.

If I'm the only white person in a group of black people....they don't see me as half-dutch, half-French. They see me as white. If I wore an Oranje soccer jersey in Germany....they'd see me as Dutch. If I go to Little Italy....they see me as a caker. If I go to Montreal and can't speak french....they don't see me as French. So the perception of what I am changes.....but what I ACTUALLY am doesn't. But none of these circumstances carry with them heavy consequences that I need to be aware of or think too much about.

Bi-racial kids have a much wider swing in those perceptions. Not black enough amongst black people. Then they associate them with white people and carry a negative perception about them. They are more privileged....they are lucky....etc. Conversely, at an all-white school they will be seen as black. And will have to deal with the negative stereotypes that comes with that....untrustworty, lazy, etc. In addition.....this particular kid is half-jamaican, half-dutch. If she wears her Jamaican colours during caribana...people will recognize that she's jamaican. If we drive up north where there is no diversity....people won't see her as jamaican....they'll simply see her as black. Black people around the city won't see her as half-Dutch....they'll see her as half-white. And on and on and on.

So it'll help them to be aware of how they're perceived in contrasting environments so they know why they're being treated in a particular way. And so they can anticipate how they WILL be treated.

Like, there is privilege in being/looking mixed/biracial. That's not a negative perception, that's an actual material reality. In my experience of passing, it's how you navigate that privilege/treat Black people that tells Black folks if you are "Black enough" which I think is just euphemism for can you be trusted.

But overall I think I see your point that as one travels race can change. One can be Black & be read as Black in the U.S. & read as a non-Black Moroccan in France.
(Also, I assume by "simply black," you mean Black American/African-American, yes?)

<<Mood...Poppy Okotcha in Look 1 at Ashish Fall 2016
________________________________________

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sa7KBq0q5bU

I didn't subscribe a justice value to those perceptions (ie whether they're fair or not). And they ARE negative....regardless if they're based on material facts.

But the talk ends on a point that dismisses what you're saying. That is.....what she IS can't be defined by you or anyone else. So if someone says she is not 'black enough'....she can take comfort in the fact she IS. And she's Jamaican. And no one can take that away from her. The same way that racist Dutch people who don't like black people can't take away the fact that she is also Dutch. Her identity will come from within. Not from you. Thanks.

So hopefully, when they are aware of how they are perceived....those perceptions don't interfere with their self-identity.