5. "her fam helped with the wedding majorly lol" In response to Reply # 0
She also was left some money from a family member as an inheritance and we put that toward our downpayment.
-The Knicks’ coaching search still includes a lone frontrunner, Kurt Rambis, whose qualifications for the position include a strong relationship with Jackson and a willingness to take the job.
-The Knicks’ coaching search still includes a lone frontrunner, Kurt Rambis, whose qualifications for the position include a strong relationship with Jackson and a willingness to take the job.
17. "they've either got health issues that make them " In response to Reply # 13 Mon Mar-30-15 02:11 PM by ndibs
uninsurable or refuse to cooperate. they are not concerned about their own finances and are REALLY not concerned about mine. these are people who haven't lived together for 20+ years and have not divorced because they don't really do paperwork or financial planning type stuff.
even if this weren't the case, my father's father lived until almost 110 so getting a policy could be a losing gamble either way.
18. "eh..i got you. tough situation. Sorry." In response to Reply # 17
-The Knicks’ coaching search still includes a lone frontrunner, Kurt Rambis, whose qualifications for the position include a strong relationship with Jackson and a willingness to take the job.
14. "No. They won't help me with a fucking thing." In response to Reply # 0
I remember calling my uncles to see if they'd give me/lend me $600 for my tuition, so that I could keep going to school. None of them would give me shit.
I learned then what I'm willing to do for them if it comes down to it.
--
"You can't beat white people. You can only knock them out."
15. "yes @ our wedding. we tried to keep costs reasonable and they helped" In response to Reply # 0
us out a TON. they were also very excited and knew if they didnt pay for certain things, we just werent gonna have them. but they werent willing to go as frugal as we were, lol.
20. "yes. thats how my family is." In response to Reply # 0
the older generation helps the younger generation.
my aunts and uncles helped me pay for clothes and books when i was in college. two of my uncles paid for my cousin's tuition. (their sister's child.) my aunts and uncles helped my cousins buy their first home. my mom helps me out from time to time.
these are more often gifts as opposed to something we need when our backs are against the wall.
i think when i get married my family will be so thrilled they'll be throwing money at me, lol.
in regards to the wedding, it was just my wife and I going to city hall and getting married in front of a group of our close college friends. But later that summer our families threw us a surprise reception. Completely shocked us. It was great.
i mean i was too proud to take all of the offered $$$ from my grand/parents' to get married but in hindsight i wish i did so i feel u but rethink it LOL
----------------------------------- we aint the two and i aint the one- lyte
i'm way too aware of the ridiculousness of the cost of weddings and if they want to help with a condo/home downpayment sure but not for a wedding at this point ~~~~ When you are born, you cry, and the world rejoices. Live so that when you die, you rejoice, and the world cries. ~~~~ You cannot hate people for their own good.
blkprinceMD05 Member since Nov 29th 2004 41323 posts
Mon Mar-30-15 03:35 PM
35. "my parents are both dead and aunts and uncles have their own " In response to Reply # 0
Kids to help with major things like that. My mom woulda helped tho. As much as she could have. But it's up to me and a SO to make it work, maybe his family would help
Still even tho my mom woulda gave me the world. She as a single mom who maxed out I think at 65k a year with no income from pops wouldn't have been able to pay my rent and her mortgage on a regular basis
prototype
stand ur ground, believe in urself, believe in love, prepare urself for love, remove the negativity from ur life, and accept the love u kno u deserve
They told me in college that my down payment would be my gift.
They helped with that, and plenty more when I got the house. All the payments and maintenance have been 100% me, but they surely helped. My mom's dad gave her property to manage, so she got some hand downs as well.
For the wedding, they're gonna be so happy that someone decided to marry my ass, they'll probably put in 5 Figures on it.
Oh...I am an only child, and parents still together. So I know that makes it all different.
38. "my family would help if necessary..." In response to Reply # 0
i wouldn't ask them but my family is always trying to help me with something so as much as they could, they would...and vice versa. i help my family (with money and other things) when I can...i KNOW my mom and dad can't afford for me to have a big wedding, so i'd settle for a small intimate wedding I can afford.
my dad said i can use his GI bill (VA Home Loan) to buy a house (making it a bit easier) and whatever else he can get from the VA, my mom would just buy the stuff I need for the house so I won't be sleeping on the floor.
42. "my mother didn't have the means. i held her down once i got grown" In response to Reply # 0
my late Pops was holding a little bit in the years before he passed but i never asked him for much. he was a bootstraps type of dude so me asking him for money would have caused him to launch into his diatribe on how i should do for self...
now that i'm a father...
i'm part bootstraps and part shut up and cut the check. i'll do it on a case-by-case basis...
47. "Blaxican. Pop is dead. No to Question 1. " In response to Reply # 0
if I did get married they'd help in any way possible: food, deals for dresses, place, etc, but most of the money would be me and the wife. But i do not plan to get married.
side note: the funeral cost for pop was a fucn mindfuck that drove a wedge in my fam.
one of my sisters maxed out credit cards to the tune of 80k helping keep him alive when he fought cancer, while I was still in college, while one of my other sisters was balling the fuck out with her now ex husband.
debt is real for us, and most of the people I know; Brown, Black or White.
49. "Hmm. I've actually never thought about it. My dad has the money." In response to Reply # 0
He's always talking about how he's going to leave us a large amount of money when he passes (which, I mean, is a weird thing to try to get us excited about lol).
But what about while he's living?! Wouldn't it be fulfilling for him to see his kids use his money to further their lives while he's still around?
I mean, I am an in no position to buy a house because NYC. But my sister and her boyfriend are actively looking. I will be watching closely to see what he does, or doesn't do, for them so that I know what to expect.
52. "my wife's parents paid for our wedding." In response to Reply # 0 Tue Mar-31-15 01:14 AM by RobOne4
We went over budget 4k and that came out of our pocket. But my father in law really wanted to "show off" his daughter. We weren't going to have a wedding before he said that. I am Mexican and my wife is white and black. Her dad is black and her mom is white.
As far as our house we did that ourselves. Her parents again came through with a lot of house warming gifts. Stuff we had money for ourselves but they like to spoil their kids.
my parents arent doing nearly as well financially. If they had money to give us and spoil us with they would. But they dont so they spoil us with love. My wife's parents do well. They constantly spoil their kids, kids spouses, and grand kids. But they also are as loving and kind as they are generous. I lucked out.
November 8th, 2005 The greatest night in the history of GD!
53. "Questions to those with family help" In response to Reply # 0
Did family money come with any big headaches, like unwanted opinions/demands, religious clashes, guest list stuff etc?
I'm kinda worried I'll end up having to forgo family money to avoid these issues. I really don't want to but I refuse to be driven crazy. ___________________________________________________________
57. "...thats is how it usually works" In response to Reply # 53
as kind as my mother is yes those tend to be the unspoken stipulations ~~~~ When you are born, you cry, and the world rejoices. Live so that when you die, you rejoice, and the world cries. ~~~~ You cannot hate people for their own good.
61. "my in laws were very upfront" In response to Reply # 53
they said "we will pay for the entire wedding, as long as it's here in Syracuse and the ceremony is in our church."
I liked their church, and I'm not very religious. I have no ties to Syracuse, so there was no alternate location that I would have preferred. No big deal. My grandmother didn't come to the wedding though, because it was in a church.
For the house money, my parents gave it to us with no strings attached.
*Jews you*
"this is okp tho, reading is completely optional" (c) desus
My dad was pissy about me not inviting his other children but he said that to my mom and not me. He acted crazy days leading up to the wedding but calmed down on the day of.
they just wanted to invite a few friends from work. I think it ended up adding 15 or so people to the list. Other than that everything was exactly what we...she wanted. I just told her to let me know the time and day to be there and I would show.
November 8th, 2005 The greatest night in the history of GD!
58. "got married at the court house. his mom paid for dinner" In response to Reply # 0 Tue Mar-31-15 10:32 AM by SHAstayhighalways
(for everybody who attended. which was about 10 folks)
we'll cross that home buying bridge when we get to it. my dad be broke as hell (lol i mean he makes good money but got mad bills and yet another child on her way to college) but he always helps financially when he can. and his mom always helps.
we're trying to work things out so we'll see if we ever get to that bridge.
59. "If they could, they totally would." In response to Reply # 0
But that's not the reality in my family. At this point, though, I'm too old to expect them to help with that kinda stuff anyway. I'd feel weird I think.
62. "we didn't want a wedding" In response to Reply # 0
our magistrate at the paris city hall was just fine enough for us but since family didn't come to that both sides wanted to do things in their respective countries
we said fine but we aren't doing anything we are already married but we will show up both sets of parents went in a room and worked something out
we paid for nothing except stationery and i wrote/made the invitations and we showed up i think we paid for our hotel room in both cities
his side of the family did an amazing job with an actual church wedding and reception and my side had a nice reception but it really wasn't necessary we didn't even ask for gifts from guests
i'm still anti-wedding tho
"i fear no fate" e.e. cummings "No girl. No fried chicken. I'm going back to get some sleep." - Haruki Murakami
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