I'm incapable of holding secrets from my s.o. It doesn't matter how small, if I don't confess to something I did, it eats me up inside and torments me.
I've never understood how people are able to get some side action and keep it a secret. Doesn't it burn with guilt? How do you look someone in the face after a clear violation and pretend everything is ok? It doesn't even have to be cheating, anything really, any little lie, etc. If I don't have the truth I feel lost.
Even if it's embarrassing or points to some insecurity I'm entertaining, I have to let the cat out of the bag.
I even let my girl know which members of the opposite sex I hold conversation's and friendships with.
So, am I whipped or doing the right thing?
Is it better to be transparent or to hold something back for yourself?
3. "She appreciates it" In response to Reply # 1 Thu Feb-26-15 11:39 AM by initiationofplato
I do it specifically so that she feels comfortable to tell me whatever she is thinking/feeling and is never in the position that she has to lie to me.
I think most long term relationships are destroyed by secrecy, I may be wrong and maybe it's secrecy that aids in their longevity, but from personal experience, it's always the little things which grow into cancerous monsters in the future.
11. "It sounds like you've found what works for you." In response to Reply # 0
If it's something you're doing out of your own character and not because she demands it, then do your thing and don't worry about it. I think if you start to feel obligated and you feel like you're being overly demanded of, then there's an issue.
I know how you feel. I'm a super honest guy and a terrible liar/hider on top of that. My gal knows it. So basically if I screw up somehow, it's going to be an honest mistake, so we have that understanding.
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