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Subject: "Xtian marrieds: no freaky sex positions or its hell for you (vid)" Previous topic | Next topic
MME
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Tue Feb-24-15 01:29 PM

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"Xtian marrieds: no freaky sex positions or its hell for you (vid)"


  

          

Sigh, this is what occurs when crazy people find religion. smh

http://www.addictinginfo.org/2015/02/22/sex-positions-that-will-send-you-straight-hell-pastor-issues-warning-video/

In a video posted to YouTube, Pastor Olugbenga Oladejo of the Complete in Christ Church, in the UK, ministers to his flock about love making. He advises against unnatural acts on the matrimonial bed. These ungodly acts of the flesh, he warns, will send you straight to hell.

What sexual positions are off limits? According to the Nigerian-born pastor, all of them except one. The single, solitary position God says is okay is the missionary position.

____________________________

FUCK DONALD TRUMP

  

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Topic Outline
Subject Author Message Date ID
i thought everything gets the green light in the marriage bed.
Feb 24th 2015
1
That's what I got taught growing up in church.
Feb 24th 2015
3
How can there be unnatural acts in the matrimonial bed?
Feb 24th 2015
2
How is doggy style NOT a natural act?
Feb 24th 2015
11
Hebrews 13:4
Feb 24th 2015
4
hmmm, we need a better understanding of what was meant by
Feb 24th 2015
5
undefiled by adultery, maybe?
Feb 24th 2015
6
right, that's what it reads to me. i'm just tryin to see where the
Feb 24th 2015
7
'sexually immoral'
Feb 24th 2015
9
The passage notes 'adulterer' and 'sexually immorral' seperately
Feb 24th 2015
19
      this is what i'm saying
Feb 24th 2015
20
           You got to go back to that good King James Version
Feb 24th 2015
28
                these 3 though:
Feb 24th 2015
30
                     Wow this is a good example of the human hand in changing the bible
Feb 24th 2015
41
                          The oldest text is some dusty Aramaic shit.
Feb 24th 2015
43
Threesomes and shit.
Feb 24th 2015
13
word, i figured that as they would be deemed adultery.
Feb 24th 2015
14
      Lol, I remember somebody specifically asking that question...
Feb 24th 2015
17
           yeah, i agree with this pastor, not the one in the OP.
Feb 24th 2015
18
up the butt.
Feb 24th 2015
25
but how can the pastor 'interpret'
Feb 24th 2015
10
      *shrugs*
Feb 24th 2015
12
*sways seductively to Song of Solomon all thru this poast*
Feb 24th 2015
8
lol
Feb 24th 2015
15
Right?
Feb 24th 2015
16
my favorite book of the Bible.
Feb 24th 2015
31
RE: Xtian marrieds: no freaky sex positions or its hell for you (vid)
Feb 24th 2015
21
someone help me answer a question right here
Feb 24th 2015
22
nah, you don't have to do that. that pastor trippin'.
Feb 24th 2015
23
No, that pastor is on some controlling bull.
Feb 24th 2015
24
i mean, its a book of ridiculous made-up stories and rules
Feb 24th 2015
26
how many of yall have been to church?
Feb 24th 2015
27
RE: how many of yall have been to church?
Feb 24th 2015
29
former JW
Feb 24th 2015
32
at least 2x/week until i was 18.
Feb 24th 2015
33
So THAT'S why they call it missionary?
Feb 24th 2015
34
yup
Feb 24th 2015
36
whys religion so concerned with how/what makes someone cum?
Feb 24th 2015
35
because they know what sexual liberation does to people
Feb 24th 2015
37
      I should have added society in general
Feb 24th 2015
38
this niggra hates black people
Feb 24th 2015
39
missionary = coonin'
Feb 24th 2015
40
Y'all think his dream was real or made up for storytelling purposes?
Feb 24th 2015
42
if sticking a finger in my wife's ass while doing her doggy is wrong...
Feb 24th 2015
44

KiloMcG
Member since Jan 01st 2008
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Tue Feb-24-15 01:32 PM

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1. "i thought everything gets the green light in the marriage bed. "
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

that pastor is way off.

  

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Monkey Genius
Member since Mar 04th 2005
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Tue Feb-24-15 01:37 PM

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3. "That's what I got taught growing up in church."
In response to Reply # 1


  

          

Pre-marital sex: sin. Post-marital sex: do whatever the fuck you goddamn want without shame.

(Yes there actual sermons devoted to the topic)

----------------------------------
I have a webcomic: www.watchthecomic.com

My webcomic has a page: www.facebook.com/watchyourheadcomic

  

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placee_22
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Tue Feb-24-15 01:34 PM

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2. "How can there be unnatural acts in the matrimonial bed?"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

FOH w/ that pastor.

  

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Buddy_Gilapagos
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Tue Feb-24-15 02:10 PM

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11. "How is doggy style NOT a natural act?"
In response to Reply # 2
Tue Feb-24-15 02:10 PM by Buddy_Gilapagos

  

          

Animals in nature do it.


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"One of the most important things in life is what Judge Learned Hand described as 'that ever-gnawing inner doubt as to whether you're r

  

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SoWhat
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Tue Feb-24-15 01:55 PM

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4. "Hebrews 13:4"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

http://biblehub.com/hebrews/13-4.htm

It leaves room for the pastor's interpretation. Though I've always heard that marrieds can do all the freaky shit.

fuck you.

  

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KiloMcG
Member since Jan 01st 2008
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Tue Feb-24-15 02:02 PM

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5. "hmmm, we need a better understanding of what was meant by"
In response to Reply # 4


  

          

sexually immoral and keeping the marriage bed undefiled.

  

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SoWhat
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Tue Feb-24-15 02:05 PM

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6. "undefiled by adultery, maybe?"
In response to Reply # 5
Tue Feb-24-15 02:06 PM by SoWhat

  

          

the married person who has sex outside the marriage is the adulterer. an unmarried person who has sex w/a married person is immoral - they fornicated and failed to honor the marriage.

fuck you.

  

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KiloMcG
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Tue Feb-24-15 02:06 PM

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7. "right, that's what it reads to me. i'm just tryin to see where the"
In response to Reply # 6


  

          

pastor is coming from.

  

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SoWhat
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Tue Feb-24-15 02:07 PM

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9. "'sexually immoral'"
In response to Reply # 7


  

          

i think pastor would claim that engaging in 'unnatural sex acts' is immoral. and God will judge the sexually immoral. the scripture doesn't exactly give marrieds a pass to do whatever they want.

fuck you.

  

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Cold Truth
Member since Jan 28th 2004
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Tue Feb-24-15 02:43 PM

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19. "The passage notes 'adulterer' and 'sexually immorral' seperately"
In response to Reply # 6


  

          

Seems there's a distinction to me

Still seems far too vague to jump to such a strong conclusion by this pastor though.

  

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KiloMcG
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Tue Feb-24-15 02:46 PM

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20. "this is what i'm saying"
In response to Reply # 19


  

          

>Seems there's a distinction to me


without specific examples of what sexually immoral behavior is (besides adultery) how are we supposed to know if it's cool to 69 in God's eyes? c'mon, Bible, HELP A BROTHER OUT HERE!

  

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Buddy_Gilapagos
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28. "You got to go back to that good King James Version"
In response to Reply # 20


  

          

"Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge."

That sounds like DO WHat YOU Like MARRIED PEOPLE.



**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"One of the most important things in life is what Judge Learned Hand described as 'that ever-gnawing inner doubt as to whether you're r

  

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SoWhat
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Tue Feb-24-15 04:52 PM

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30. "these 3 though:"
In response to Reply # 28


  

          

New International Version
Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.

...not sure what it takes to keep the marital bed pure. but it seems something can make the bed dirty.

New Living Translation
Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery.

...now this one is clearly just addressing adultery.

English Standard Version
Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.

...this one is like the first. it seems the marriage CAN be defiled. but how? not clear.

fuck you.

  

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Buddy_Gilapagos
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41. "Wow this is a good example of the human hand in changing the bible"
In response to Reply # 30


  

          

If you go from the oldest text to the newest text the message has morphed from don't bang whores and other dudes wives to possibly being an argument against, idk, pile driving.

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"One of the most important things in life is what Judge Learned Hand described as 'that ever-gnawing inner doubt as to whether you're r

  

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Monkey Genius
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Tue Feb-24-15 08:03 PM

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43. "The oldest text is some dusty Aramaic shit."
In response to Reply # 41


  

          

This is more about English changing over the years.

I don't know why people still use KJV today. They no longer speak nor understand that old timey language.

----------------------------------
I have a webcomic: www.watchthecomic.com

My webcomic has a page: www.facebook.com/watchyourheadcomic

  

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Monkey Genius
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Tue Feb-24-15 02:12 PM

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13. "Threesomes and shit."
In response to Reply # 5


  

          

That's out.

Basically, don't share what y'all got.

----------------------------------
I have a webcomic: www.watchthecomic.com

My webcomic has a page: www.facebook.com/watchyourheadcomic

  

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KiloMcG
Member since Jan 01st 2008
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Tue Feb-24-15 02:20 PM

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14. "word, i figured that as they would be deemed adultery."
In response to Reply # 13
Tue Feb-24-15 02:21 PM by KiloMcG

  

          

what about butt sex and eating box? are those unnatural or immoral acts? seems to me those things would be accepted as okie dokie in the marriage bed.

  

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Monkey Genius
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Tue Feb-24-15 02:27 PM

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17. "Lol, I remember somebody specifically asking that question..."
In response to Reply # 14
Tue Feb-24-15 02:28 PM by Monkey Genius

  

          

...during a 'marriage seminar' at church.

Pastor said whatever made you and your wife/husband feel good was good to go. That's your business and nobody else's.

----------------------------------
I have a webcomic: www.watchthecomic.com

My webcomic has a page: www.facebook.com/watchyourheadcomic

  

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KiloMcG
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Tue Feb-24-15 02:30 PM

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18. "yeah, i agree with this pastor, not the one in the OP."
In response to Reply # 17


  

          

our bed, our business. and whatever we do is sanctioned as Holy.

  

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Deadzombie
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Tue Feb-24-15 03:51 PM

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25. "up the butt. "
In response to Reply # 5


          

  

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infin8
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10. "but how can the pastor 'interpret'"
In response to Reply # 4


  

          

what's honorable between me and my spouse? No shade at YOU, but thass sum boolshyt.

If anything, that's a 3-way discussion (pun intended) btw me, my wife and the Lordt. And if she dont feel defiled by me puttin it in her butt, what the pastor got to say about it.

thass not even something he should know.....

#$0.02

IG: amadu_me

"...Whateva, man..." (c) Redman

  

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SoWhat
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12. "*shrugs*"
In response to Reply # 10


  

          

fuck you.

  

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poetx
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8. "*sways seductively to Song of Solomon all thru this poast*"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          


peace & blessings,

x.

www.twitter.com/poetx

=========================================
I'm an advocate for working smarter, not harder. If you just
focus on working hard you end up making someone else rich and
not having much to show for it. (c) mad

  

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placee_22
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15. "lol"
In response to Reply # 8


  

          

  

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MME
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16. "Right?"
In response to Reply # 8


  

          

that "pastor" can have several seats.

____________________________

FUCK DONALD TRUMP

  

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SoWhat
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31. "my favorite book of the Bible."
In response to Reply # 8


  

          

fuck you.

  

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Tiggerific
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Tue Feb-24-15 03:02 PM

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21. "RE: Xtian marrieds: no freaky sex positions or its hell for you (vid)"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

That is not what the bible says.

LOL! What I do in my bed with my hubby is between me and him. Not my pastor. God knows what we do. And, its cool...I'm pretty sure I'm not going to hell for doing my hubby.

"We don't make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents" - Bob Ross

"I'm wearing a MSU Tshirt because I went to MSU, you are wearing a UM Tshirt because you went to Walmart!" -unknown.

http://bjsquirrelchronicles.blogspot.com

  

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double negative
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22. "someone help me answer a question right here"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

so you mean to me

that after all that waiting, all that witholding

in the end

you still have to hold shame towards your body and the most natural god created act ever?


I DONT UNDERSTAND

***********************************************************
https://soundcloud.com/swageyph/yph-die-with-me

  

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KiloMcG
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23. "nah, you don't have to do that. that pastor trippin'."
In response to Reply # 22


  

          

  

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The Wordsmith
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24. "No, that pastor is on some controlling bull."
In response to Reply # 22


  

          

There isn't a scripture damning you for having sex in certain positions. The fact that he says that is what's going to drag you to hell where Demons will cut you into pieces shows that he's adding in his own crap. There's no mention in scriptures about folks getting cut into pieces in hell. Also, according to scripture, the only thing that causes you to lose your soul is not accepting Christ. All this other stuff is that pastor overstepping his boundaries.



Since 1976

  

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fontgangsta
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26. "i mean, its a book of ridiculous made-up stories and rules"
In response to Reply # 22


  

          

i guess his interpretation is as valid as anyone else's
but i'd say just do you

  

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southphillyman
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Tue Feb-24-15 04:01 PM

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27. "how many of yall have been to church?"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

~~~~~~

  

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Tiggerific
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29. "RE: how many of yall have been to church?"
In response to Reply # 27


  

          

Me. He's wrong.

"We don't make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents" - Bob Ross

"I'm wearing a MSU Tshirt because I went to MSU, you are wearing a UM Tshirt because you went to Walmart!" -unknown.

http://bjsquirrelchronicles.blogspot.com

  

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infin8
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32. "former JW"
In response to Reply # 27


  

          

IG: amadu_me

"...Whateva, man..." (c) Redman

  

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SoWhat
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33. "at least 2x/week until i was 18."
In response to Reply # 27


  

          

fuck you.

  

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Billy Ray Valentine
Member since Jul 08th 2005
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Tue Feb-24-15 05:46 PM

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34. "So THAT'S why they call it missionary?"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

“Missionaries of old who taught their converts about true holiness would teach them that in the marriage bed, face to face with the husband on top is the only position that God has sanctioned.”

"when I was growin' up if we wanted a jacuzzi we had to fart in the tub!"

  

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SoWhat
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36. "yup"
In response to Reply # 34


  

          

fuck you.

  

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rdhull
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35. "whys religion so concerned with how/what makes someone cum?"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

  

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zaire
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37. "because they know what sexual liberation does to people"
In response to Reply # 35


  

          

leads them to truths that contradict doctrine in a myriad of ways


it invalidates so much of what happens in reality. this was a main focus in the catholic church long ago i.e. perversions like masturbation leading to blindness ect

another passive aggressive attack attempting to preserve the institution, among other things

  

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rdhull
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38. "I should have added society in general "
In response to Reply # 37


  

          

>leads them to truths that contradict doctrine in a myriad of
>ways
>
>
>it invalidates so much of what happens in reality. this was a
>main focus in the catholic church long ago i.e. perversions
>like masturbation leading to blindness ect
>
>another passive aggressive attack attempting to preserve the
>institution, among other things

  

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Allah
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39. "this niggra hates black people"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

_______________________
"Arm Leg Leg Arm Hate." c/o desus
_______________________
Divine Ruler
http://www.facebook.com/divineruler
__gigs__
__stuff__

  

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rdhull
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40. "missionary = coonin'"
In response to Reply # 39


  

          

  

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PimpTrickGangstaClik
Member since Oct 06th 2005
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42. "Y'all think his dream was real or made up for storytelling purposes?"
In response to Reply # 0
Tue Feb-24-15 07:50 PM by PimpTrickGangstaClik

  

          

I never believe the stories these folks tell.

I notice that every time I flip the tv past Joel Osteen, he'll be in the middle of some elaborate story with profound meaning.
Ain't that much stuff happening to you to have a good story every damn week
He's gotta be buying stories like J. Peterman

_______________________________________
You ain't the only one whose got problems. You ain't the only one who knows pain. Get up off your ass and just solve them. You still got a chance to try to change, try the shit again.
Devin tha Dude

  

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RobOne4
Member since Jun 06th 2003
56601 posts
Tue Feb-24-15 08:07 PM

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44. "if sticking a finger in my wife's ass while doing her doggy is wrong..."
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I dont want to be right

November 8th, 2005 The greatest night in the history of GD!

  

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