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There’s this tree that will give you knowledge of good and evil If you eat it, you’ll die, so don’t eat it. Got it?
Of course, part of the test is that I’m not going to tell you I’ve allowed a serpent into the garden to tempt you into eating it.
The brilliant part of the test though, the coupe de grace?
Without the knowledge of good and evil, they have no concept of right and wrong, so they have no way to truly evaluate whether they’ve done anything wrong if they eat it!
But wait, there’s more! The consequences are exponentially worse than the one I told you about.
You won’t just die, every other human who ever exists will die too.
And when they die, they don’t just cease to exist, they’ll go to a lake of fire and burn for all eternity. That’s right: the consequence is infinite torture for the finite crime of breaking my rules.
Also, while they’re alive, they’ll all become so wretched, filthy and repulsive to me that they’ll have to provide me a blood sacrifice to atone for their sin, which will only exist if you eat this fruit.
It’s all good though- I’ll designate one particular group as my favorite. That won’t mean much because I’m going to let them suffer monumental atrocities, but hey, I’m going to let them murder entire tribes of people, except for the virgin women and young girls. I’m not going to spell this out, but I’ve made you people smart enough to figure it out.
Anyhow, most of you will be vile pieces of shit to me, but never fear, I got that covered too.
My spirit is going to impregnate a virgin and she’ll give birth to me (don’t trouble yourself with the details on that) and I’ll be perfect and sinless, grow up, and then I’ll sacrifice myself to myself as atonement for you horrible people breaking rules I created.
That sounds gruesome, but I can’t forgive you unless something dies. Blood and death are kind of my thing.
Anyhow, as long as people believe that my SonSelf did all this so I can forgive them, they’re good. If they don’t? Look, that’s a nice soul you got there. It’d be a shame if it burned for all eternity for not believing in me, so just believe in me and I’ll protect you from me, capisce?
Anyhow, that’s the gist of the test. Just don’t eat the fruit, mkay? -Sig-
“Why didn’t you do this in your own god damn country?"
-All Stah's view on undocumented immigrants wanting to be treated like human beings.
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