Whether its TV or Film, what are your cinematic pet-peeves? What do filmmakers always do that make you stand up and throw your jujubee's at the screen?

I have two....

1. Computer Screens. Anytime anyone is EVER sitting a computer screen there are these completely proprietary or even impossible lloking interfaces. Shit looks so fake and so dumbed down it drives me nuts.

I actually just watched Anti-Trust (leave me alone!) and I was surprised I wasn't throwing my goobers at the TV, but in most cases I am.

2. Video Surveillance and Zooming. CSI (as much as I love all of em)and Las Vegas are notorious for this shit.

Las Vegas is the absolute worst but there is so much eye candy (the city itself AND of course the women) on that show I restrain myself.

They can pull a video from a 10 year old black and white camera held together by duct tape from a mom and pop liquor store and push in, zoom and enhace it enough to read a scratched out VIN# off a '65 station wagon, 150 yards away from the camera through a reflection off of a childs eyeball?!!!! WTF!

>1. Computer Screens. Anytime anyone is EVER sitting a computer
>screen there are these completely proprietary or even
>impossible lloking interfaces. Shit looks so fake and so
>dumbed down it drives me nuts.

Or how about the way that NOBODY ever uses a mouse!!? Or the slick, state of the art GUI's that exist for even the most menial of computerized tasks? Hacker flicks are the worst. Last time I checked, DOS didn't include a 3-D Rotating Skull & Crossbones that spit flames and emanated techno music.


>2. Video Surveillance and Zooming. CSI (as much as I love all
>of em)and Las Vegas are notorious for this shit.

>They can pull a video from a 10 year old black and white
>camera held together by duct tape from a mom and pop liquor
>store and push in, zoom and enhace it enough to read a
>scratched out VIN# off a '65 station wagon, 150 yards away
>from the camera through a reflection off of a childs
>eyeball?!!!! WTF!

Man, this kills me. I mean seriously. You don't know how many design clients I've had wanting me to pull some crazy shit, blowing up some low-res .gif they pulled off of some crumby website to full resolution " like they seen on CSI " That's like walking into Radio Shack and asking for some shit you seen on Star Trek.

This is probably the most common suspension of disbelief in film and TV today. Enemy of the State had the one where they figured out what the side of a bag not on camera would look like.

...the public. Not to mention, they determined that there was a bulge on the bag it's not like they looked in it. And personally, I think that will be plausible one day.

Mech

they DID look IN the bag, and it was a 2d image that the SPUN AROUND TO LOOK AT THE OTHER SIDE

>Or the
>slick, state of the art GUI's that exist for even the most
>menial of computerized tasks? Hacker flicks are the worst.

I know if it was really that easy don't you think life would be a lot wasier for the minimum wage heads at McDonalds?!


>Last time I checked, DOS didn't include a 3-D Rotating Skull &
>Crossbones that spit flames and emanated techno music.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

>Man, this kills me. I mean seriously. You don't know how many
>design clients I've had wanting me to pull some crazy shit,
>blowing up some low-res .gif they pulled off of some crumby
>website to full resolution " like they seen on CSI " That's
>like walking into Radio Shack and asking for some shit you
>seen on Star Trek.

I don't beleive you, there is NO WAY people think this shit is real?! haha

>I don't beleive you, there is NO WAY people think this shit is
>real?! haha

Working in the graphic design field, I can tell you people ABSOLUTELY think that shit is real. They are totally convinced of it.

"Your current frequencies of understanding outweigh that which has been given for you to understand." Saul Williams

...you just know they're gonna end up in the hospital, and then they're gonna die.


Also, this ain't funny anymore:

A parody of a big musical song and dance, and when they actors finish they hold a pose and exaggerate gasping for air.

It's been done, think of something else.

>...you just know they're gonna end up in the hospital, and
>then they're gonna die.

If 9th grade english literature taught me anything, it was that tuberculosis is no joke!

>...you just know they're gonna end up in the hospital, and
>then they're gonna die.

I wouldn't even be mad if some film maker made all his characters cough for no reason. Like at the the end of the movie no one dies and it has no bearing on the movie whatsoever. That would be ill. No pun intended.

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95% of the time I think it takes on a negative quality
3% of the time I give it a marginal pass
2% of the time I think it works (e.g. Goodfellas, A Chrsitmas Story)

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~~~~~

Video meliora proboque, deteriora sequor.

-- Ovid, from The Metamorphoses

"I see the better way and approve it, but I follow the worse way."

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Let's see whether I can find one.


~~~~~

Video meliora proboque, deteriora sequor.

-- Ovid, from The Metamorphoses

"I see the better way and approve it, but I follow the worse way."

I have this big issue with documentaries. Without any fairness whatsoever, I am deeply biased in favor of documentaries that contain no voiceovers, no narration, no subtitles explaining who people are or what’s going on, no talking heads, and no interviews after the fact. I am deeply biased in favor of documentaries that capture, moment by moment, an event as it occurs.

And here's WHY: http://board.okayplayer.com/okp.php?az=show_topic&forum=23&topic_id=16891&mesg_id=16891&listing_type=search if you're willing to read all that.


~~~~~

Video meliora proboque, deteriora sequor.

-- Ovid, from The Metamorphoses

"I see the better way and approve it, but I follow the worse way."

I don't see how narration could possible diminish the documentary... Obviously there's bad narration and there's good narration, but to say it diminishes the genre itself...

Wait this isn't an objectivity/subjectivity thing, is it? Because there's no such thing as an objective documentary, narrated or not.

EDIT: I just read your old 'rant' you linked... and uh... I still don't get your argument.

up

~~~~~

Video meliora proboque, deteriora sequor.

-- Ovid, from The Metamorphoses

"I see the better way and approve it, but I follow the worse way."

I mean, I tend to lean towards the more laissez faire approach to documentary making myself, but come on- let's not fool ourselves. There is no authenticity of any moment, regardless of whether it's being voiced over, or "unfolding before our eyes"... it all has an agenda, or 'statement' if you prefer a less loaded term. 14 seconds of silence or stammering might feel very real, but I feel simply the act of editing, hell, the act of picking up a camera and deciding "I'm going to document THIS" already kills any authenticity or objectivity. Don't get me wrong, I love documentaries, and like I said I have my personal biases as well... but I don't necessarily see one approach as truly being better, or more authentic than the other.

And on a more practical note... sometimes you just need narration. Take nature documentaries for example- It's not that I need someone holding my hand and telling me "see the lions are teaming up on the antelope" or anything like that... but sometimes there's no context to really understand what you're seeing... and the animals sure as hell aren't going to explain it to you.

and I don't discount for a moment the effect of a camera on events.

But see, e.g., War Room for a great example of a documentary that doesn't use narration, subtitles blahblahblah and still tells its story impeccably.


~~~~~

Video meliora proboque, deteriora sequor.

-- Ovid, from The Metamorphoses

"I see the better way and approve it, but I follow the worse way."

It's a better example than Goodfellas. Malcolm In the Middle is another good one, but if you think it's annoying in the show, blame it on Muniz. I hate that kid but love that show.

Mech

that's my unofficial thesis of the moment.

>that's my unofficial thesis of the moment.

*awaits update*

>95% of the time I think it takes on a negative quality
>3% of the time I give it a marginal pass
>2% of the time I think it works (e.g. Goodfellas, A Chrsitmas
>Story)

Adds Fight Club & Sin City. Rickey Henderson math makes that 4% now right?

the teacher of the scriptwriting workshop, who says something like 'if you have to rely on narration, forget it'. Adaptation is heavily narrated.

I always liked the narration in Goodfellas except when it changes voiced. Narration in Casino (basically a remake of Goodfellas) was annoying.

I know it's not a movie, but Ron Howard's narration is a huge key to that being the best comedy on TV.

------------------------------
Proud Supporter of the 2004 World Champion Boston Red Sox, The Three-time Super Bowl Champion New England Patriots, The 16 Time NBA Champion Boston Celtics, the four Time NCAA and 26 time Beanpot champion Boston University

...so that someone else can overhear the messages. Seems like everyone on TV has one, yet in real life don't most people have voice mail now?

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>...so that someone else can overhear the messages. Seems like
>everyone on TV has one, yet in real life don't most people
>have voice mail now?

the messages ALWAYS start playing before they even hit the play button on the machine.

AND they sound clear as fuck, when you KNOW they all sound like shit.

"Movie premises that simply could not happen today"... mainly because of all the answering machine-related hijinks you still see running rampant in movies (Not to mention TV shows... you realize that without answering machines, Seinfeld only woulda had about 3 seasons worth of material, right?)

Who uses these things anymore?

>"Movie premises that simply could not happen today"... mainly
>because of all the answering machine-related hijinks you still
>see running rampant in movies

That and it seems like a lot of people don't have Caller ID. Some chick obsessing about how she doesn't know if some guy called while she was in the shower or fumbling for her keys in her big ass purse. Or people making multiple prank calls...


(Not to mention TV shows... you
>realize that without answering machines, Seinfeld only woulda
>had about 3 seasons worth of material, right?)

Haha, yeah!


>
>Who uses these things anymore?

lol...My parents do. But I don't know anyone else who does.


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The fruits of my DVD binges: http://www.dvdaficionado.com/dvds.html?cat=1&id=kurlyswirl

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ruthless killer or villain or bad guy.. and they decide to have a conversation in order to buy time for something else to happen.. just shoot the person already.

Mortui Vivos Docent

JUST SHOOT THE GUY LADY!

R.I.P. Loud But Wrong Guy
Dec 29th 2009 - Dec 17th 2017

when making the post

Mortui Vivos Docent

or on the Box art.

Like when someone is watching a movie or something IN a movie and the in movie has some dope ass action part in it.

Then they put that in trailer to hype people up.

R.I.P. Loud But Wrong Guy
Dec 29th 2009 - Dec 17th 2017

>or on the Box art.
>
>Like when someone is watching a movie or something IN a movie
>and the in movie has some dope ass action part in it.
>
>Then they put that in trailer to hype people up.

Ala Twister. The capper of the trailer wasn't in the actual film.

I hate when it's a comedy, but they start off the trailer like it's going to be a serious movie. THey have the serious ass anouncer start off "In a World..." and he keeps building up until the main character pops up on screen makes a lame ass joke. Then the serious music is replaced with some Ska shit.

Who the hell is still fooled by this? They use the same guy EVERY DAMN TIME, you should know his voice by now.

R.I.P. Loud But Wrong Guy
Dec 29th 2009 - Dec 17th 2017

now everytime i see the start of the trailer for a horror flick i`m always anticipating that its gonna be a comedy

*****************************
" A rich man is one with knowledge, happiness, and his health " - Common (G.O.D.)

Republicans and Democrats both f*ck you up the ass, the only difference is that Democrats use a condom

Pretty funny.

http://www.apple.com/trailers/miramax/comedian.html

actually I don't mind that so much, but sometimes it's so blatant..

Like after Collateral, I could have really gone for some Bacardi!

Mortui Vivos Docent

My pinot noir consumption increased for a little while after I saw Sideways.

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Mech

a.k.a when the best line in the trailer is edited out in post production.

I sat through that stupid ass Empire movie waiting for Peter Sarsgaard to utter the words "Go back to your ghetto!" and he doesn't even say it man.

okay... thanks for telling me that. all this time i thought i just fell asleep and missed it!

damn... that's fucked up. i think i watched the film JUST to hear that line.

_____________________

http://fc03.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2010/287/6/c/the_wire_lineup__huge_download_by_dennisculver-d30s7vl.jpg
The man who thinks at 50 the same way he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life - Muhammed Ali

I forget what he said but it wasn't "go back to your ghetto!"

I felt so fuckin used.

The only reason. When one of my boys told me it wasn't in there, I refused to see it. I've still never watched it.

Wow, I loved that line.

"He lost the battle cuz he couldn't freak the EQ."

"Using emoticons to give people mean mugs,
Sensitive e-thugs, you all need e-hugs".

"If that's the way you wanna play go make your own damn bread".

Cops/FBI Agents/CIA Agents as heroes in *every* damn movie out there.

Super-fast editing or roller-coaster-simulating computer generated camera movements like the ones used in the last Star Wars movie. They make me nauseous.

Teenagers.

Super Heroes.

"PG-13"

When they invented talkies, it ruined the purity of the art.

Not that it wasn't already ruined in the silent era. You see, I'm actually against the whole idea of "motion" pictures. I just don't believe in it.

I think when they invented moving pictures it really ruined the purity of the art.

Personally, I prefer still photographs.

(But what I REALLY like is cave paintings).

Mech

Not complaining of course, I'm a Mac hugger my damn self. But it's funny that Mac is only like 2% of the PC Market Share yet in Movieland there's an iMac with a 23" Studio Display in every apartment.

And yeah I don't know what the hell kind of operating system these cats got.

No real foothold in the consumer market but is the standard for graphic, video and film production. That being said, since the peopel working on the film are more likely to have a mac, they're more likely to put it in the film.

But, I meant you never see a close up of Mac or Windows desktop.

Mech

The show you detest so much. lol

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>The show you detest so much. lol

That was a hell of a placement.

They even had an episode where it crashed on her. Her boyfriend tried to ctrl-alt-delete it and then it totally died and she took it to the repair store wrapped in a pashmina. Sheeeit, I love my PB so much, I'd probably do the same thing. ;-)

There's also Brenda's giant PB on Six Feet Under.

>>The show you detest so much. lol
>
>That was a hell of a placement.


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...Yeah, this just needs to stop right the fuck now.


"Stealth", I'm looking at you.

Seriously, you wanna know what REALLY happens when a computer gets struck by lightning? YOU BUY A NEW COMPUTER.

...Socrates or something?

Mech

http://www.grantcd.com/images/standing.gif

I just can't help but think of someone casually walking after a day of shopping, getting hit by lightning then turning into that guy. He looks like he got caught in the middle of one hell of a jig.

Mech

Same that that happens to everything else!

I apologize

R.I.P. Loud But Wrong Guy
Dec 29th 2009 - Dec 17th 2017

"The Bruckheimer Effect"




ºº¤ºº The Elmer Fudd of this Hip Hop ºº¤ºº

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...and the bartender just picks one for them. This shit always bugs me. I've never been to a bar where I order "a Beer" and they don't ask me which kind.

(sigless)

Mortui Vivos Docent

but if they asked for a budweiser would you be mad at product placement?

Avy: Tyrion disrespects King Joffrey yet again

"If your life consists of NO drankin, NO drugs, NO loose booty, NO fatty foods, NO additives, NO preservatives, AND no waings.......then what the fuck you wanna live so long for, boring ass n****?" - Tay

>but if they asked for a budweiser would you be mad at product
>placement?

Certain directors make up brand names, like the cigarettes in Pulp Fiction, or Nails cigarettes in some of the Kevin Smith movies.

(sigless)

>Certain directors make up brand names, like the cigarettes in
>Pulp Fiction, or Nails cigarettes in some of the Kevin Smith
>movies.

Or when they ask the clerk at the convenience store for "a pack of cigarettes".

Brand names do not exist in movieworld.

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12 play and 12 planets are enlighten for all the Aliens to Party and free those on the Sex Planet-maxxx

XBL: trkc21
Twitter: @tyrcasey

like it gives it a pass.

_
http://youtube.com/watch?v=4TztqYaemt0
http://preptimeposse.blogspot.com/

It's postmodernism gone amok...

Mech

lol

--
Nintendo is like your close friend that always says lame things at partys, and when he goes to the bathroom you have to explain to everyone "No I'm telling you guys, he's a cool guy...really" - ign board quote

http://miyamoto.ytmnd.com/

1. This is mainly on T.V. but i've seen it in movies also. Girls with glasses are somehow ugly. I've never understood this.

2. When the police are tracing a phone call in movies, it apparently takes like 5 minutes to trace the call. It takes like less than 30 seconds for the real police to trace a call.

3. In a lot of commericals for some kind of family product, when the is a really hot woman her spouse is usually some chubby/bald or just an average looking guy that is totally out of the league of the woman. What, can't a good looking guy be the family man also?

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Those shits haven't existed for decades.

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The whole "If-I-talk-to-the-cops-for-under-five-minutes-on-a-phone-they-won't-know-where-I'm-calling-from" thing irks the shit out of me. This shit has been blatantly false for years, but they still use it as a plot-device. What, the cops/FBI/CIA can't afford caller ID?

-----------------

www.albumism.com

Checkin' Our Style, Return To Zero:

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This goes ten fold for anyone holding a video game controller as well.

They're constantly mashing buttons and moving and shit.

------

12 play and 12 planets are enlighten for all the Aliens to Party and free those on the Sex Planet-maxxx

XBL: trkc21
Twitter: @tyrcasey

damnit, as a long time gamer and someone who wants to work in the industry, that shit irks me to no end. Fuckers act like every game they play is Marvel Vs. Capcom 2 or Track and Field or some shit. GAH!

And they're always moving their body side to side and shit like their body language has an influence on the game...man, I haven't did that shit since I was like 5.

--
Nintendo is like your close friend that always says lame things at partys, and when he goes to the bathroom you have to explain to everyone "No I'm telling you guys, he's a cool guy...really" - ign board quote

http://miyamoto.ytmnd.com/

What the fuck is the point ?

R.I.P. Loud But Wrong Guy
Dec 29th 2009 - Dec 17th 2017

>2. Video Surveillance and Zooming. CSI (as much as I love all
>of em)and Las Vegas are notorious for this shit.
>
>Las Vegas is the absolute worst but there is so much eye candy
>(the city itself AND of course the women) on that show I
>restrain myself.
>
>They can pull a video from a 10 year old black and white
>camera held together by duct tape from a mom and pop liquor
>store and push in, zoom and enhace it enough to read a
>scratched out VIN# off a '65 station wagon, 150 yards away
>from the camera through a reflection off of a childs
>eyeball?!!!! WTF!
>


yes!
exactly right!
nothing pisses me off more
and on that, when they look over footage from security cameras and the shit is the same quality as the damn movie, just in black and white
or how for some retarded reason there is some security camera director who cuts shots to perfect medium shots of the important characters etc
fuckers, security cameras are generally fixed in one position. OR, they move left to right, back and forth. they don't STOP. they don't ZOOM IN. and they sure as hell aren't anywhere near the quality they make them out to be

ALSO
when characters are watching tv (this is usually in tv shows, generally sitcoms) and i freaking KNOW they've added the footage to the tv afterwards. it looks so damn fake. lazy shits. DO IT PROPERLY!!


as for movies, what annoys me alot is when there is a two shot scene with a conversation going on. so one character says something, the other responds etc. sometimes they cut back to the other character while the other character is still talking. the audio continues but if you look at the back/side of the guy who is talking's face, he is not in sync with what he's supposed to be saying (get me?lol). so they've got a great reaction from the non talking character and thought they'd shove it in there even though it was probably shot at a different time etc
that pisses me off so damn much
its just sloppy

little things like continuity issues regarding dialogue, blocking and even lighting really bug me

---

So much so that if the movie isn't a talking fucking book, they don't like it

Save Our Sonics!
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it seems like they always know the phone numbers for everything in movies, by fucking heart too!

*****************************
" A rich man is one with knowledge, happiness, and his health " - Common (G.O.D.)

Republicans and Democrats both f*ck you up the ass, the only difference is that Democrats use a condom

555

What's the reasoning for that anyway? Is it because they don't want to ever accidentally use a real phone number, so "555" is reserved for fake numbers?

--
Nintendo is like your close friend that always says lame things at partys, and when he goes to the bathroom you have to explain to everyone "No I'm telling you guys, he's a cool guy...really" - ign board quote

http://miyamoto.ytmnd.com/

yup, haven`t you ever seen last action hero?

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" A rich man is one with knowledge, happiness, and his health " - Common (G.O.D.)

Republicans and Democrats both f*ck you up the ass, the only difference is that Democrats use a condom