Not really poetry...and kinda long....just something/someone I remember from high school....and felt the need to write about.......make of it what you will...

The whore is a lady

From the look on her face I can tell she feels like she wants to throw up. Her stomach is lurching but there isn't anything in there to push up and out. And breathing is harder than it was last night - his hands down her pants, exploring. She probably memorized what the ceiling looks like and how it feels after his gasps reach the chipping white paint. The lights were off and she had a candle burning. It had been burning since morning but he thinks it was lit it just for him. She thinks to herself *It's better to just let him think and do what he wants. And let me think its what I want.*

I KNOW. Know that she didn't mean to let him do anything more than walk her home. Never meant for him to learn that her fan is louder than her stereo. Nor that the reason her room smells sweet is because of the Glade Hawaiian Breeze plug-in she bought last week.

I heard him talking.

"Yeah," he said, "My hands would have been down her pants if her pants hadn't of been down 'round her ankles." His friends chuckled and gave high fives while I flashed a fake uncomfortable smile. "Hey Nina..." I remember one of them yelling down the hall earlier....."I wanna kiss you on the lips....(as an innocent smile grew on her face he finished)..with my Di#K! HAHA!"

Now she just sat there...3 rows up......and as shame filled her eyes the rage grew behind mine. I once tried to teach her to write....express her pain in words the same way I always did....but lately I've hit the wall more than I've hit the lines. And her eyes are bloodshot accompanied by twitching hands that have been unable to write anything worth reading in the journal each night before a new face crawls on top. They each bend her page's corners so the next will know where he left off.

She slowly fliped the bookmark I had given her between her fingers and flashed me a sympathetic smile.....or was it a pathetic smile.....I'm not sure......

"All you have to do is be nice to her once or twice....then walk her home.... last week we just asked to come in and then she was all ours. I just unzipped told her to get on her knees and open her mouth..... god does she know how to use that mouth......then Mike got behind her...."

She was shivvering now and trying to pretend she was reading and did not hear them talk.
And my fingers slowly fetal curled into a fist as my teeth grit pretending to enjoy the conversation.....they continued.....

"She almost bit me cuz he tried to stick it in the wrong hole...." and he chimed in "she tried to fight it but I know she liked it.....HAHA!"
She suddenly ran out of the room as they all continued to laugh. I stood and slammed my fist into the wall. Tearing a hole I would later be forced to spend the afternoon fixing. My knuckles bled....burned and hurt....almost as bad as the pain in her eyes.
"What the hell is that all about yo? You cool dawg?"
I just glared at them and followed her out of the room.
"Whats his problem?"........"He probably mad cuz she would'nt give him any....HAHA"

I stil remember 2 years prior when she first came here......she said I was so nice....asked to be my girlfriend. I shyly declined....thinking I did not deserve and could never keep someone as beautiful as her. She just nodded her head and said "its ok..I understand" I wonder now if I could have saved her then.....
Catching up in the hall I placed a comforting hand on her shoulder unable to find the words. I was always there.....the only one who ever really cared....liked her for her insides...not just to feel her insides. I always saw in her what other's could'nt.....not even herself. And I guess she saw the same in me........
I asked her if it hurt. (its more then they ever bothered to do.) All she could do was bite her lip and shake her head as tears continued to gather in her eyes. As we stood there in the silence of understanding...soon her breathing matched mine. And suddenly she leaned in and kissed me with an open mouth and open mind. Meanwhile my heart was being served to her inner demons. I felt the fork stab in as her lips moved to my neck. I flinched.

"What's the matter?" she asked, "What's wrong?" She stopped and stood there looking at me. I gave her my " what-the-hell-are-you-thinking" face and she gave me her " I-thought-thats-what-you-wanted" face. I stood back, leaning against the wall thinking to my self....how could I help her see. My eyes were questioning....her's were down.

"Did I say or do anything wrong?" She asked. My fingers found her hand and began dancing across her palm. And for a second there, I thought she may have understood.

She just gave me a crooked smile....as she removed her hand and walked back into the classroom. And I just stood there watching as the candle of her soul slowly burn out. I wonder where she is now......and if she ever found her flame....
-KnowOne

_________________________________________
"Too weird to live.... too rare to die..."

IG: KnowOne215 | PS+ ID: KnowOne215

I really liked this... the message behind it and the compassion involved. Wow. I've seen this scenario played out more than a few times and it is incredibly kind to wonder why this girl has chosen this path.



“I have had to experience so much stupidity, so many vices, so much error, so much nausea, disillusionment and sorrow, just in order to become a child again and begin anew. But it was right that it should be so: my eyes and heart acclaim it. I had to experience despair, I had to sink to the greatest mental depths, to thoughts of suicide, in order to experience grace, to hear Om again, to sleep deeply again and to awaken refreshed again. I had to become a fool again in order to find Atman in myself. I had to sin in order to live again. Whither will my path yet lead me? This path is stupid, it goes in spirals, perhaps in circles, but whichever way it goes, I follow it.” Siddhartha- Herman Hesse

"Poetry is an orphan of silence. The words never quite equal the experience behind them."
-Charles Simic

"Unless, this
very world is a trash bin, and I am just waiting for
someone to find me so I
can be recycled." InspiredFree

Register to vote,please?

www.yourvotematters.org

Lesley

It's amazing to me how you were able to be so detailed (accurately so) from the females perspective - the candle, the ceiling - etc... If you ever find out if 'Nina" I think it is, found her flame - please let me know - in the meantime - I'll pray on it. Thank You and God Bless...

Original One

as for Nina, she ended up dropping out of school the next year. I don't know what ever happen to her. But no matter how tarnished she became an how bad her reputation got, I will always remember her as the sweet innocent girl I met Freshman year. That wanted/needed only to be liked and accepted. I only hope she had re-claimed her dignity. but knowing how life is.....I doubt it.....
PS
its funny I have this odd ability to write well from the perspective of others. I have written a few pieces from the perspective of a female. But I never post them cuz peeps are quick to call HOMO. LOL But thanks for reading and responding.

_________________________________________
"Too weird to live.... too rare to die..."

IG: KnowOne215 | PS+ ID: KnowOne215

Just DAMNNNN!


Oh, I'll be back! -- *Lookin' 4 My Box Of Tissues*

A guitar string vibrating, a measure of my soul, a breech in the silence --
I've always felt like words come through me & I write them down... they have no master --- gsquared ♥

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/2/photosynthesis_music.htm

In gettin' back atcha on this -- *My Bad*

I know of at least TWO females that this pCe seems to be written for & about -- So reading it really hurt my heart from your perspective as a male -- Because I could sense the pain & frustration you had for this person.

One of the females in particular is a close relative of mine -- (My Cousin) -- So my frustration with her antics and lack of self-esteem & confidence caused me much durress. Especially cuz some folks thought if she was EASY -- Maybe I was too! -- *grrrrrr * -- (NOT THE CASE!) -- But she was always so eager to please & be accepted -- That she'd do damn near ANYTHING -- Whether on a dare or just to be liked!

In any case, I said all that to say: "I really felt this pCe on many levels -- Personally -- Poetically -- and even "Spiritually" -- Because when someone like this gives in to the whims & desires of others -- (like in this pCe) -- A part of their "Spirit" dies each time -- And the pain is far more lasting and difficult to overcome without intense therapy, nahmean?

*Good Job KnowOne*


And give me a break -- No more tear jerkers for a while, aaaiight? -- ;^)

(((Used up half a box a' tissues -- *grrrrr*)))

A guitar string vibrating, a measure of my soul, a breech in the silence --
I've always felt like words come through me & I write them down... they have no master --- gsquared ♥

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/2/photosynthesis_music.htm

DAMN... THIS WAS A HEAVY READ! T0O HEAVY TO DEAL WITH IN A LAWFIRM ENVIRONMENT. DUG THE STORY AND THE EMOTION BEHIND THE PIECE. THANKS FOR SHARING.

"I dream neither in Colour nor black n'white. But in rhyme schemes that give voice to thoughts; life to feelings; forever revered and immortalized in what we define as POETRY... "

Q: what's the deal with puerto rican lovers?

A:well for starters they do salsa and merengue in your pussy. that helps. (c) Damali

www.myspace.com/3rd_i

3rd i: so u gonna be my child's god parent
Dawgeatah: i already have 3
3rd i: yeah but do u have a black one..like pokemon gotta catch them all.

i am a self-mutilator
of the worst kind...
(c)MyLife

hmmmm...

peace,

n.

==================================

"I'm a curbside prophet with my hand in my pocket and I'm waiting for my rocket to come." - Jason Mraz

"Conformity is the refuge of a stagnant mind."

and honest opinion/advice.

_________________________________________
"Too weird to live.... too rare to die..."

IG: KnowOne215 | PS+ ID: KnowOne215

this piece is beauty that is dripping with sorrow. It says a lot about her...but it says even more about you. very compassionate

definitely felt
___________________________
-Phyllis-


"For with much wisdom comes much sorrow;
the more knowledge, the more grief."
- Ecclesiastes 1:18

n/m

_________________________________________
"Too weird to live.... too rare to die..."

IG: KnowOne215 | PS+ ID: KnowOne215

..very well done man...a vivid picture

http://www.GaryPatrickGarry.com

"I'm stalling in flight
Hovering over horizons
Waiting for night"

"My turn to speak in tongues"
--Photosynthesis

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/2/photosynthesis_music.htm

This was deep and gripping but even more so was the fact that
" You did nothing, said nothing to THEM" wonder why she was so confused as to what YOU wanted ..."

Not hating bRotha but identifying ...many of us Black Men have this story in our past ...4 some its their present ....and others still their future. Whew!

Keep tellin the stories maybe someone will be listening

The truth is always subject to revision..

and actually it is something I still regret......but after all I am only a man.....an imprefect one......

_________________________________________
"Too weird to live.... too rare to die..."

IG: KnowOne215 | PS+ ID: KnowOne215

described the scenario behind the only girl I ever loved. I don't talk to her anymore. It's sad when you love someone that doesn't love themselves...

*****************************

--I AM A GUY--

Empathy is the best muse, as you have clearly demonstrated here. I love this piece.

"To be a poet is a condition, not a profession."
- Robert Frost

http://inevitabletruth.blogspot.com/
http://www.lulu.com/content/187759
http://www.hdfest.com/Barry/allreviewsbarry.html
http://wishbonec.wordpress.com/

Woah...i think u stole that memory out my brain...I appreciate the way u layed this down,no less,no more...PROPS on this one KNOW1...ive known and been in the same predicaments, almost exactly...i wanna make a track about this... i think it would affect alot more people the same way!~Mr.Funkdat aka.konSanatra

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~
www.soundclick.com/konsanatra
~George Bush censors me.....

"Manifesto, This what i wanna see happen. For all my peoples still breakin graff writin & rappin."~~ Og Kweli

My nose is fucked!~ Weez

~~Mothafuckaz

one last bump^^^

_________________________________________
"Too weird to live.... too rare to die..."

IG: KnowOne215 | PS+ ID: KnowOne215

Que pasa? Whats the LAST bump son~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~=?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~
www.soundclick.com/konsanatra
~George Bush censors me.....

"Manifesto, This what i wanna see happen. For all my peoples still breakin graff writin & rappin."~~ Og Kweli

My nose is fucked!~ Weez

~~Mothafuckaz

this is mad deep nice


peace

I don't come in here often but I like this and your work. Are you moderators allowed to archive? Do you still know or see her?

someone has to CoSign it. (Takes atleast 2 people to get something Archived.) And since your the only one then no. LOL Thanks though.


One last ^bump^

_________________________________________
"Too weird to live.... too rare to die..."

IG: KnowOne215 | PS+ ID: KnowOne215

archive it homie...

-Otto

dag....thanks fam. It took a lot out of me to write this. Reminded me of some days I'd rather forget.

_________________________________________
"Too weird to live.... too rare to die..."

IG: KnowOne215 | PS+ ID: KnowOne215

Just be sure and LEAVE this one in the Archives -- MR. MODERATOR! -- *giggles*

A guitar string vibrating, a measure of my soul, a breech in the silence --
I've always felt like words come through me & I write them down... they have no master --- gsquared ♥

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/2/photosynthesis_music.htm

that I took the other one out? LOL...had to...some peeps too close to me were on here & a few stumbled upon it. Thats was a lil too personal.

_________________________________________
"Too weird to live.... too rare to die..."

IG: KnowOne215 | PS+ ID: KnowOne215

and so sad. brought tears to my eyes ... its so sad. excellent piece. i like how you detailed this.

was a beautiful meditation on love. on the absence of it. on the various forms it takes or the purposes it serves.

it's a sharp piece of writing, too.

nice drop.

---i'm here---

"...do what scares you..." -- l. varela

I loved the piece, it was very emotional, i know alot of girls like that, brought up sad memories 4 me, u got props from me for sure!

Homicidal Crook
Only God can judge me - 2Pac

Only God can judge me - 2Pac

c'mon man i used that line you have the at end of your sig: "real eyes realize real lies" in the recent collab between Axis, Ric, and Me, and now you're quotin' it without givin' me props? that's my shit yo! did someone use it b4 me that i don't know about?

peace

I saw it in someones sig on a different board. I did'nt even know you said it. I did'nt know who said it thats why no ones name is by it. I will give ya credit for it though.

_________________________________________
"Too weird to live.... too rare to die..."

IG: KnowOne215 | PS+ ID: KnowOne215

well if that's true i guess it ain't really my line... i knew that was probably true, seemed like someone woulda come up with it. and really i'm just foolin', i surely didn't think you intentionally didn't give me credit, i just thought you may have had the line in your subconscious from seeing me write it then not realized you got it from me... you don't gotta give me credit if i wasn't the 1st to write it. lol, it's up to you, hardly ever is anyone the first to write something, especially when it's that kinda wordplay, so that's a shade of grey. a lot of times the person to get credit for a line in hip-hop is the first one to put it on a popular album, even though many people did it first. so that's just an interesting little thing, i need to get a record deal and say that line on the album b4 someone else does (half joking) it's all good i never was upset

peace and positivity

You already got beat, that fool Obie trice has spit that line b4

Homicidal Crook
Only God can judge me - 2Pac

Only God can judge me - 2Pac

She probably memorized what the ceiling looks like and how it feels after his gasps reach the chipping white paint. The lights were off and she had a candle burning. It had been burning since morning but he thinks it was lit it just for him.
~~~~~~~~

for me, this is one of the most painful things uve written, cept that one piece about you...u know which one..but, this is so real...the imagery, and the metaphor of the flame, and all the little components of this...this was beautiful man...yeah, i wonder if she found her flame too...its cool, because the way u painted her, its like i know here too, becuase u gave her such a common face, like a lot of girls i see...yeah man....good job! really.

-Otto

I like it.

*I'm hella hella sexy*