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Subject: "MCA President Wants to Dismantle the Internet" This topic is locked.
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Improv
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85480 posts
Mon Nov-26-01 08:02 AM

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"MCA President Wants to Dismantle the Internet"


  

          

“I give up…I really do,” said a weeping Jay Boberg, the president of MCA. “I’m getting all this hate mail from the fans of…what’s their name…they play instruments and from that little town…oh yeah the Roots. I blame the internet.” In the past couple of months, he has received hundreds of mail (postage and electronic) asking for the release of the R&B duo Jazzyfatnastees as well as the Black Thought album.

“I’m saying,” said hip-hop fan Atruhead, “if Large Professor drops an album before Black Thought, I’ma be very upset. So instead of sitting back and wishing on a star, I would rather send my beef through emails” Okayplayer.com supporter KayDee (not to be confused with the rapper of hip-hop gangsta crew, Da Lench Mobb) also chimes in with how MCA is treating their artists. “The majority of us on Okayplayer know what is going on. We have access to Billboard, Soundscan, newspapers, weed spots so we are more advance than we were three to four years ago. We know more about this business now than when Q-Tip warned us that record execs were shady. But what would make Jay Boberg even THINK that he has enough power to destroy the Internet. That makes no sense,” he said in between puffs of hydro.

Boberg has a legitimate claim. “I just don’t like them. Have you ever dealt with Rich Nichols?” We asked Dixpop for his opinion to which he replied, “Tell Jay to suck my dick.”

It was recently uncovered that Boberg has already put his plan in action. We found a report of a secret society called the Sons of Liberty has been contacted by the MCA president to do away with the Internet. “Well I recently told a comrade of mine that the Internet is the work of the Patriots and everything we know is not what we know, “ said a man who would only go by the name of Solid Snake, “However if SOL succeed in their plans it would be worse than what the Patriots have done. The flow of information would be halted, good or bad. Without info, we would be nothing more than mindless drones even though a majority of us are like that anyway. I can’t call it.” He lit up a cigarette after saying, “But I do know one thing, be very wary of these artists that have a website especially http://www.prince.org which I know is nothing more than a cult-recruiting website. I can’t speak anymore about it seeing as there are some…legal actions being set into motion with that particular site.” He also told us that America need to be aware of the date April 30th.

Avant, R&B singer, backed up his employer with a quick statement, “MCA has been very good to me and they have faith in me so whatever Mr. Boberg wants, I support him fully. Oh yeah, go cop that ‘Soul Sista’ album…I’m on it. Thank you.” Shaggy also gave his support and Mary J Blige, with her new album titled “No More Drama” would only state that folks need to listen to her new single and “stop all this hateration”.

“I think that Mr. Boberg is missing the point of this powerful and useful tool for information,” said former President Bill Clinton from his Harlem office. “I understand his concern and worries, but you can’t get something erased just like that,” he said while eating a Big Mac, “ I tried…lord did I try…don’t print that last comment. But back to the topic at hand, I mean where else could I get information on the latest music to which movies that black, beautiful woman named Kitten were in. Wait…don’t print that last comment.”

Al Gore, the creator of the Internet, couldn’t be reached for comments

-It's American

_________________________
Man up

“Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist”---George Carlin

  

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Topic Outline
Subject Author Message Date ID
Nov 26th 2001
1
FUN IS NOT DEAD @ OKAYPLAYER.COM!!!!!
Nov 26th 2001
2
LAUGHING THE FUCK OUT LOUD
Nov 26th 2001
3
instant archive!!
Nov 26th 2001
4
i believed it
Nov 26th 2001
5
i still feen for that lp album
Nov 26th 2001
6
huzz--
Nov 26th 2001
7
My bad... sorry (this is why I should only quote the dead)
Nov 26th 2001
9
good ish.
Nov 26th 2001
8
rotflmao!
Nov 26th 2001
10
sideshow mel says:
Nov 26th 2001
11
@@@@@
Nov 26th 2001
12
That CityPaper article got him all huffy and puffy hahah
Nov 26th 2001
13
Funny ...
Nov 26th 2001
14
Dope :)
Nov 26th 2001
15
Unh-Unh.
Nov 27th 2001
16
you CAN write after all
Nov 27th 2001
17
Shhhhhhh....
Nov 27th 2001
18
the last line
Nov 27th 2001
19

Mil
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Mon Nov-26-01 08:26 AM

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1. ""
In response to Reply # 0


  

          


____________________________________
speak the wrong words man & u will get touched.
http://tinysong.com/ldpJ

  

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Improv
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85480 posts
Mon Nov-26-01 08:37 AM

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2. "FUN IS NOT DEAD @ OKAYPLAYER.COM!!!!!"
In response to Reply # 1


  

          

-It's American

_________________________
Man up

“Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist”---George Carlin

  

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Ysilent
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525 posts
Mon Nov-26-01 08:40 AM

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3. "LAUGHING THE FUCK OUT LOUD"
In response to Reply # 1


  

          

DAMN son . . . . this made my day.

Props due my man, you are a talented writer.

Good shit!!!

Everybody Stinks!!!!
IN YO FACE!!!!!!

  

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Dove
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32915 posts
Mon Nov-26-01 09:45 AM

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4. "instant archive!!"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          


http://UrbLife.com
http://twitter.com/FlyLikeDove
http://instagram.com/FlyLikeDove
http://Facebook.com/FlyLikeDove
http://flylikedove.contently.com

  

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atruhead
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85230 posts
Mon Nov-26-01 10:06 AM

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5. "i believed it"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

until i saw my name, now let me go back n read

  

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atruhead
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85230 posts
Mon Nov-26-01 10:07 AM

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6. "i still feen for that lp album"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

Sig Innovation: Thank Yous (liner notes style) God, Mom, Dad, the rest of the family, closest of friends, (if youre an "okayplayer" dont even expect a shout unless you've done more than just be an "okayplayer", not that a shout on my sig list should matter to you) whoever runs the jawn page, angela nissell, tank, spec, doug, etc - yall have given me space to vent, get clowned, shit on folks and get shitted on right back, thanks for almost 3 years of time that coulda went towards a 4.0 gpa, it was all worth it. von p - blow up like you wish to, most cats come in the door with a demo, you came with a full album. Any dj I've ever listened to and respected (that includes clue you haters) All okayartists past present and future, the soulquarians, native tongues, juice crew and all queensbridge affiliates, boogie down productions and affiliates, the def squad minus mally g, every mc on rocafella records (including bleek) beatnuts, big pun, uncle luke and cash money records for keeping me laughing, kool herc afrika bambatta for laying the foundation, arrested development for the brilliant debut, arsonists ditto, audio two, d.i.t.c., boot camp click, black eyed peas, brand nubian, breez evahflowin, the furious 5 (the mic check show was the best show hot 97 ever had), bush babees, cam'ron, canibus, cnn, the wu, chris rock, serena williams, cold crush brothers, nasty nas, gang starr, pete rock n cl smooth, Craig G, Supernatural, CRU, Dana Dane, Das Efx, Digable Planets, Doug E. Fresh, Dr. Dre Ed Lover and T-Money, Public Enemy (good lookin out flav), Eminem, Doggystyle era Snoop, Eric B, Rakim Allah, Erule, Extra P, Flipmode Squad, Freddie Foxx, Fugees, Dungeon Family, Ice Cube, Big Jaz, Jeru the Damaja, J-Live, J. Rawls, Jurassic 5, Kool G Rap, Leaders of The new school, old school ll cool j, lost boyz, lox, Craig Mack, Timbaland, Masta Ace, Mc Lyte, Paul Barman, Mic Geronimo, Monie Love, M.O.P., Naugty By Nature, NICE N SMOOTH, Noreaga, Notorious B.I.G., Camp Lo, Pacewon and the outsidaz, last emperor, royce 5'9, Pharaoh Monch, Pharcyde, Positive K, Prince Paul, Punch n Words, Thirstin Howl III and lo-life affiliates, master fuol, R.A. the Rugged Man, Ras Kass, Rob Base and DJ Ez Rock, Salt n Pepa, Schoolly D, Sean Fanning (napster creator) Slick Rick, Slum Village, Sporty Thievz, Stretch n Bobbito, Supafriendz, Tela, Twista, xzibit and the liks

If I must shout out okayplayers it'll be 1 male n 1 female. nazdak and bonamie yall are top notch

the sig innovations will continue
----------------------------------------
ATTENTION: step into the realm
http://jrf5780.diaryland.com - Updated recently

Http://www.bluechip-productions.com
BlueChip Productions, LLC.



  

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Mosaic
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16409 posts
Mon Nov-26-01 11:27 AM

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7. "huzz--"
In response to Reply # 0


          

fucking Mil!

-----
The Earnestness of Being Important -- Summer 2002
(check amazon.com in April for pre-orders)

  

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Mil
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33922 posts
Mon Nov-26-01 11:35 AM

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9. "My bad... sorry (this is why I should only quote the dead)"
In response to Reply # 7


  

          

... I HEREBY RECANT MY AFOREMENTIONED HUZZAH! *turns around so all can see* AND I AM NO LONGER PRINCE OF ZAMUNDA!

____________________________________
speak the wrong words man & u will get touched.
http://tinysong.com/ldpJ

  

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poetx
Charter member
58856 posts
Mon Nov-26-01 11:33 AM

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8. "good ish."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

peace & blessings,

x.


January is Kool Keith quote month, for lack of anything else:

"I never hearda you stupid, what's your name man??"

"Rappers don't know, I'm out the hospital/
cold buggin' and illin' like Dr. Doolittle"

"I'll chew your ass like monkeys on Wild Kingdom"

"you call yourself GOD, can you make it rain?/
can you tell me now what I'm thinkin' in my brain?"

"under your arms, you're kickin power and musty"

"word to mom, I'm in my own world.../
galaxy raaaaaays... powerful"

peace & blessings,

x.

www.twitter.com/poetx

=========================================
I'm an advocate for working smarter, not harder. If you just
focus on working hard you end up making someone else rich and
not having much to show for it. (c) mad

  

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pey
Charter member
1888 posts
Mon Nov-26-01 11:36 AM

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10. "rotflmao!"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

:D

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
ain't no blood in my body,:
it's liquid soul in my veins :

  

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BooDaah
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32690 posts
Mon Nov-26-01 11:39 AM

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11. "sideshow mel says:"
In response to Reply # 0


          

"he's kicking it old skoo"

  

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Brandard
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11908 posts
Mon Nov-26-01 11:40 AM

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12. "@@@@@"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

[]

Giving You True Lesson Moderation Since'03
******

Want something archived? thats what an inbox is for

  

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Improv
Charter member
85480 posts
Mon Nov-26-01 02:36 PM

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13. "That CityPaper article got him all huffy and puffy hahah"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

-It's American

_________________________
Man up

“Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist”---George Carlin

  

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Wendell
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8207 posts
Mon Nov-26-01 03:06 PM

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14. "Funny ..."
In response to Reply # 0


          

But we don't do humor here.

Peace

Wendell

*I'm trying to joke around, but.....*

Peace

Wendell

  

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DaFlashman
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4243 posts
Mon Nov-26-01 08:27 PM

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15. "Dope :)"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

--
"Besides, what is beer but steak in a glass?" -> shockzilla(OK)
"Do you get drunk off that Not2Bright whiskey often?" -> krylonwifey1979
* http://www.ohhla.com - "Lyrics to Go"
* http://www.RapReviews.com - the real deal!

---
PLEASE DIRECT E-MAIL TO dj.flash@pobox.com
Webmaster: www.OHHLA.com and www.RapReviews.com
COMING SOON: www.NintendoArchive.com

  

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PlucK
Charter member
488 posts
Tue Nov-27-01 08:56 AM

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16. "Unh-Unh."
In response to Reply # 0


          

We need to get you a sitcom. I can see it now...."Improv's Lessons" starring Hub from the critically acclaimed movie entitled Brooklyn Babylon... *insert dramatic music* "You know man. You know iss all about the bitches"


PlucK.





s.note:he was jokin.

  

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Wise_Is_The_Name
Member since Jul 07th 2003
0 posts
Tue Nov-27-01 09:01 AM

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17. "you CAN write after all"
In response to Reply # 0


          

http://www.blackindc.com - I write articles for drugs (jokes)

http://www.thespleen.com - I write here as well - this time for food.

WeezFace Killah
"Ay yo Rae....they got me in iron bunkers/I go bonkers when I see a bitch making tuna fish in my bloomers/I rock Big Ill fez's for reason I shine/The rap kingpin the fifth mic, them shits was mine/See they think that a nigga won't make the front page papers/They know God but they don't know about the capers/The onions, the seasonings, my pasta sauce spicy/My whole arm look icy, my wisdom-body look pricey/but she got that devilish pussy just like Wifey/I woula made a run for it but the shit got so gushy!/God, I might sing to it, eat a little lunch soon/I heard her big sister be trickin' like Alice the Goon/Can I get a piece of the cake, German Chocolate Icing blazing/Amazing God see me in up in Training Day/Might smack Denzel, smash off Rapunzel/Go on CBS smack the fire outta Fred Gumbel...BITCH!

  

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Improv
Charter member
85480 posts
Tue Nov-27-01 10:38 AM

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18. "Shhhhhhh...."
In response to Reply # 17


  

          

-It's American

_________________________
Man up

“Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist”---George Carlin

  

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UrbanCowgRRL
Charter member
8764 posts
Tue Nov-27-01 03:44 PM

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19. "the last line"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

i was finished...

:D

good shit

much love,
Kyle

Detroit..Let's GO!!! May 12th Dilla Walk for Lupus...Belle Isle...

http://walk.lupusresearch.org/goto/blackeyedskeez

Even a Dollar can HELP..


http://www.myspace.com/jedikyle
http://www.detroitderbygirls.com/

  

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