My mom called me at work Monday...I guess she could hear the defeat in my voice, she asked me "You ready to open that restaurant yet?"

I've been ready since April 2010...but April 2010 was also about the time I found out I was pregnant. I don't want my baby to think that she was ever a hindrance to our family's success.

I don't really live in a place that is conducive to being a chef/owner of a restaurant. I've been considering relocating for a while but I'm scared. Everyone says 'oh just take a leap of faith!' I could do that. But I also like certainty. I like being comfortable, I like being able to provide for my baby. I'm scared.

Then fate punched me in the face a few times the last 3 years. My s.o. gets locked up for two years. I get diagnosed with epilepsy. The owner of the house I was renting decided to tell me when my lease was up that they weren't renewing because they were selling the house. So we(s.o., baby and I) moved in with my brother, who lives in our childhood home...this house is slowly but surely killing my child(mold, dust all kinds of shit wreaking havoc on her poor lungs and such).


I'm scared as fuck man. I'm scared to fail. Hell, I'm too scared to even try. I've prayed about it. I've cried about it. I've researched it. I'm scared people won't like my food. I've got excuses out the ass.

I'm scared okp. Tell me about YOUR last leap of faith. Tell me about YOUR last failure. Talk to me about this shit.

"Holier than thou never sits well with me."(c)janey

"OKP spends way too much time looking for ways to be offended." ~legsdiamond


http://twitter.com/jeleighbean