I don’t really impart blame to anyone. The whole thing is a mess that’s mostly due to our fragmented upbringing, since we were all split up early on. Two of us were born after and remain at my mom’s to this day. I’m the oldest and the only one who maintained contact with everyone in some form or fashion until a few years ago, but I finally gave up the ghost for good on a few of them.

As it stands, I’m relatively close to two brothers and one sister.
I’m estranged from one sister because we’re all estranged from her. She was raised by my aunt, who basically taught her that the world revolves around her and spoiled her into a rotten brat who even in her twenties thinks we all owe her something and has singlehandedly destroyed every relationship with all of us except for one brother, who keeps her at arms length. We’ve all given her several chances to just have a relationship but her self centered ways and demanding nature have alienated 7 of her 8 siblings. It’s really not her fault she turned out this way, but there’s absolutely zero reasoning with her. My aunt still caters to her while openly complaining about what a selfish brat she’s become.

I’m estranged from one brother who is likewise estranged from the rest of us. He simply won’t leave the streets behind, won’t stop stealing from whoever among us is foolish enough to trust him, and it’s now at a point where nobody wants him to know where they live. He’s the guy gangbangers show up looking for, the guy who steals identities, the guy who begs you for a place to stay for a few days and gets pissed off when you look at him everyone’s money and electronics come up missing a day after he arrives. He’s just an absolute headache and shows no signs of stopping.

My youngest sister I just don’t deal with anymore, which kills me. My wife and I were gearing up to take her in before we caught on to some of her manipulations and realized she was deadest on returning to my mom, who is an awful enabler. I hate to say it but we dodged a bullet. My line and home always open, but she never uses it and I keep my distance because it’s painful watching her make the choices she makes while she ignores everyone but her enabler.

One sister is estranged from the rest of us on her own accord, because she’s got a control freak boyfriend and she seems to agree with his philosophy that she should spend every waking moment with him because he’s her family now. She only speaks to one sister and occasionally, my mother. She doesn’t talk to me any longer because she developed a habit of only contacting me when she needed money, often in relatively large sums, and several times I caught her in lies that would turn out to be her hitting me up for money for her boyfriend. We’re all here if/when she’s open to coming around, calling, texting, whatever, but that’s up to her. She’s in a weird relationship and I frankly fear the worst possible ending.

The aforementioned four only tend to reach out when they want something. Some, like my brother, are in a lose-lose situation and I get it, but it’s fucking exhausting when everyone
One brother isn’t estranged, but he’s locked up and drives me up the wall because he doesn’t listen, and never has. He blows up my phone at all hours of the day, doesn’t adhere to my requests to limit his calls to the evenings, nad gets angry if I don’t have money on the account for him to call. That would be resolved if he would limit his calls to 1 15 minute call each evening, but he wants to talk an hour and a half each day. It doesn’t help that nobody else- at least two siblings plus my mom- seems to be all that interested in talking to him, which would give him three people to talk to and three separate bills, but I digress. He also thinks I’m made of money and constantly asks for this that or the other and stays throwing guilt trips when I can’t accommodate him. It’s really not his fault, but I have to limit contact with him in a big way because he's so relentless.

I do as much as I can but it gets to be
I’m closest to the three who don’t actively need/want me to support them financially in some way, and that’s in part because their different types of people.

My youngest brother is a bright spot, going to school and getting his ducks in a row. He doesn’t ask me for shit although he’s the only one I’ve given wide open door to at all times. He needs anything and I’ll do my damndest to help. I wouldn’t say we’re especially close, since none of us are really close. We’ll catch the occasional game of 2k14 online or whatever, maybe hit a movie together once a year, but that’s it. I kind of wish we were closer but it is what it is.

I’m reasonably close to one other brother, but that mostly consists of occasional facebook chats, phone calls, and the odd visit.

I’m closest to my oldest sister, who has a great relationship with my daughter and is the only one who has established a relatively stable home and family.

I wish we were all closer but it’s pretty much a spider web of what I just described for each of us, across the board. Suffice it to say, I don’t see many family reunions in the future.