are you righteous about it?

do you plan to re-connect?

is it your fault?

what do your parents have to say about it?

>are you righteous about it?

no, we just dont bang like that

>do you plan to re-connect?

no

>is it your fault?

doesnt matter

>what do your parents have to say about it?

they understand

no matter 'what'?

He denied relation.

I washed my hands.

separate from being your brother, does he seem like a person worth knowing?

it hurt for a sec, and once the hands were washed, nah.

righteous? what do you mean?

not really pressed.

they believe siblings should be best friends. To that i say...bullshit. I also say that the parents are 90% of the blame in many situations where siblings AREN'T best friends.

also, maybe TMI but fckit... it's a primary reason why my wife and I aren't really pushing for more than one child.


.

>they believe siblings should be best friends. To that i
>say...bullshit. I also say that the parents are 90% of the
>blame in many situations where siblings AREN'T best friends.

yea are parents encouraged it
not happening

>also, maybe TMI but fckit... it's a primary reason why my wife
>and I aren't really pushing for more than one child.

expound?

make a great life for one child vs. multiple.

Also a lot of baggage both of us have with regards to siblings, upbringing, shortfalls of our parents, etc.....

.

lol

made my wife go through it too

milestone...
not even anything major...
just stuff like....
"Damn...how come OUR parents didn't do THIS or THIS or THAT???"

We've just learned a LOT of things about parenting, raising a child, discipline, fiscal responsibility, planning, etc. that we know for a fact that our parents pretty much 100% didn't bother to explore, despite there being plenty of opportunity for them to do so, that ultimately has been the source of a lot of hurdles we've overcome together over the past 16 or so years we've been together.....yada yada yada....

.

I have an adopted brother who lives in Minnesota. He and I have had a decent relationship but i am a decade older. I have always felt badly that I was not in his life more but he was 8 and I was 18 when we met.

We still keep in touch but I wish I was a better big brother.

>are you righteous about it?
?


>do you plan to re-connect?

eh

>is it your fault?

dunno

>what do your parents have to say about it?

dont give her any money

lol


~~~~
When you are born, you cry, and the world rejoices. Live so that when you die, you rejoice, and the world cries.
~~~~
You cannot hate people for their own good.

Both mother(1) and father side(9...pops was a bit of a rolling stone).
I communicate fairly regularly with about 4 of them.
The others not so much.
I've done the reconnecting thing many times but, at some point you stop running after folks and live.
I love them all but, I cant with grown folks sometimes.
My father has no opinion on it. My mother is deceased.

I have a half sister that's about 19, first year in college. our dad was a loser, so I had no relationship with him.

I initially met her when she was 5, but didn't keep contact cuz I wanted nothing to do with him. we reconnected at his funeral a few years ago and are building a relationship.

She i guess feels like she'd be going against her mother by at least meeting me. A cousin says she's seen my pics on facebook and is a tad intimidated.

by what????

i mean we were born a week apart (dad was a ho) but that's neither of our faults and i'd think would make us more than ever seek each other out.but whatever.

anyway. yeah.

4 months apart.
the family hyped it up that I was born with no ailments, meanwhile she was born in wedlock and had a ton.

i was a little down after meeting her because we could have done this so long ago and so much hurt that we didnt even own was unnecessary. and still is.

i always say, thank GOD my mom and stepdad blessed me with 6 sisters on my side and we solid as a rock. because my sisters on my dad's side would have left me alone out in this cold world.

well...2 of them.

me and her finally connected and we do sister night out. Movies or dinner or both. A few of my others sisters come too.

they probably listened to their mom paint a less favorable picture of my mom...

but through my always willing to connect personality, they are realizing for themselves that maybe everything they thought they knew was wrong.

i also think they've reached the point of knowing that these things are never the fault of the children and that i've been crucified all my life. (im not spoken of or allowed in their house...AS IF!)

because her mom couldn't stand my mom.
and that's exactly what i opened with, I'm not my mom.
but also know dad played a roll in this.

we straight now but, yeah younger...fam was all in the ear.

all half siblings. it sucks.


does it really matter?

for all my fans who keep my name in their mouth: http://i.imgur.com/v2xNOpS.jpg

he had a kid in hs, never graduated, was heavy into drug use, been arrested multiple times, wears blue or hazel contacts STILL in 2014.

i went about 10 years ago to visit for thanksgiving in florida. i know he likes to sleep in so i asked him to clear off his table the night before so i could use it to cook thanksgiving dinner. he was resitant and i was like that's fine, i can relax tomorrow instead of getting up at 5am to cook for you.

out of nowhere, he goes on a tirade about how i'm such a bitch and i'm stuck up now that i got a little money.... which i guess he figured out because i wasn't dressed like a bum and i had a few hundred to buy a ticket to go down there. apparently he had some issue or insecurity about how his life was going.

my dad didn't stick up for me either. i haven't seen either of them since. i talk to my dad every now and then. i talk to him every few years. i'm not really mad about it. i'm just not about to spend hundreds of dollars to go visit them to get verbally abused. and i have nothing to talk to him about.

he's a failure at life and he knows it. he hates everything that i'm about which is basically everything that he isn't. i was going to get cool with him and come to the table on real chill shit but he got to running his mouth talking slick so at that point i said "fuck him forever". my mom wants us to get cool again but i'm over it. somebody asked me if he died tomorrow would i care. i won't.

I don’t really impart blame to anyone. The whole thing is a mess that’s mostly due to our fragmented upbringing, since we were all split up early on. Two of us were born after and remain at my mom’s to this day. I’m the oldest and the only one who maintained contact with everyone in some form or fashion until a few years ago, but I finally gave up the ghost for good on a few of them.

As it stands, I’m relatively close to two brothers and one sister.
I’m estranged from one sister because we’re all estranged from her. She was raised by my aunt, who basically taught her that the world revolves around her and spoiled her into a rotten brat who even in her twenties thinks we all owe her something and has singlehandedly destroyed every relationship with all of us except for one brother, who keeps her at arms length. We’ve all given her several chances to just have a relationship but her self centered ways and demanding nature have alienated 7 of her 8 siblings. It’s really not her fault she turned out this way, but there’s absolutely zero reasoning with her. My aunt still caters to her while openly complaining about what a selfish brat she’s become.

I’m estranged from one brother who is likewise estranged from the rest of us. He simply won’t leave the streets behind, won’t stop stealing from whoever among us is foolish enough to trust him, and it’s now at a point where nobody wants him to know where they live. He’s the guy gangbangers show up looking for, the guy who steals identities, the guy who begs you for a place to stay for a few days and gets pissed off when you look at him everyone’s money and electronics come up missing a day after he arrives. He’s just an absolute headache and shows no signs of stopping.

My youngest sister I just don’t deal with anymore, which kills me. My wife and I were gearing up to take her in before we caught on to some of her manipulations and realized she was deadest on returning to my mom, who is an awful enabler. I hate to say it but we dodged a bullet. My line and home always open, but she never uses it and I keep my distance because it’s painful watching her make the choices she makes while she ignores everyone but her enabler.

One sister is estranged from the rest of us on her own accord, because she’s got a control freak boyfriend and she seems to agree with his philosophy that she should spend every waking moment with him because he’s her family now. She only speaks to one sister and occasionally, my mother. She doesn’t talk to me any longer because she developed a habit of only contacting me when she needed money, often in relatively large sums, and several times I caught her in lies that would turn out to be her hitting me up for money for her boyfriend. We’re all here if/when she’s open to coming around, calling, texting, whatever, but that’s up to her. She’s in a weird relationship and I frankly fear the worst possible ending.

The aforementioned four only tend to reach out when they want something. Some, like my brother, are in a lose-lose situation and I get it, but it’s fucking exhausting when everyone
One brother isn’t estranged, but he’s locked up and drives me up the wall because he doesn’t listen, and never has. He blows up my phone at all hours of the day, doesn’t adhere to my requests to limit his calls to the evenings, nad gets angry if I don’t have money on the account for him to call. That would be resolved if he would limit his calls to 1 15 minute call each evening, but he wants to talk an hour and a half each day. It doesn’t help that nobody else- at least two siblings plus my mom- seems to be all that interested in talking to him, which would give him three people to talk to and three separate bills, but I digress. He also thinks I’m made of money and constantly asks for this that or the other and stays throwing guilt trips when I can’t accommodate him. It’s really not his fault, but I have to limit contact with him in a big way because he's so relentless.

I do as much as I can but it gets to be
I’m closest to the three who don’t actively need/want me to support them financially in some way, and that’s in part because their different types of people.

My youngest brother is a bright spot, going to school and getting his ducks in a row. He doesn’t ask me for shit although he’s the only one I’ve given wide open door to at all times. He needs anything and I’ll do my damndest to help. I wouldn’t say we’re especially close, since none of us are really close. We’ll catch the occasional game of 2k14 online or whatever, maybe hit a movie together once a year, but that’s it. I kind of wish we were closer but it is what it is.

I’m reasonably close to one other brother, but that mostly consists of occasional facebook chats, phone calls, and the odd visit.

I’m closest to my oldest sister, who has a great relationship with my daughter and is the only one who has established a relatively stable home and family.

I wish we were all closer but it’s pretty much a spider web of what I just described for each of us, across the board. Suffice it to say, I don’t see many family reunions in the future.

Do you regret growing up to become completely repugnant, irredeemable garbage?

There's only one way to atone for choosing to be the sort of vermin you are, and it involves a garage, a running car, and a garden hose.

Do the right thing, mongrel.

Are you really unaware that you're a worthless scrap of garbage?

who are not very close to him although he lives 45 mins away from most of them

...they're good people, well some of them are, but my dad does not talk to them like that...i used to come up to MI from NC to visit every year or so and ask about ___ relative and my dad was like "i ain't messing with them, so we ain't going over there"...LOL...

...my uncle moved down here almost a decade ago and i heard he wanted my number so we could reconnect, my dad basically forbid it when i talked to him about it...he knows his brother more than me and i trust my pops so i haven't talked to that uncle outside of my grandmother's funeral....but that uncle is alot like that one brother you mentioned that's always in trouble, and he's past 60

.

my brother

I've only seen a handful of times in my life

we started communicating more often last summer via Facebook, text and phone calls

he changed his number and never gave me the new one

fuck it

he's like 12 years older than me and for some reason he stopped coming home for the summers when I was a toddler

I think his mom and my dad started beefin

my wish came true.

I'm sure he has some resentment towards us tho for being raised together while he was raised in a different state by different people.

My mom had him when she was struggling financially and her best friend was in a car accident and couldn't have kids so my mom thought it was a sign to give him up.

He ended up playing football for the Naval Academy. I look up to him even though he is probably the biggest womanizer I ever met.

for me 2 be around

DNA the ONLIEST thing me + that nigga got in common

.

not that yours wasn't a good post already...

than being estranged.

i want to explore why humans and other animals put so much value into bloodlines.

is there an innate desire to want to see 'family' better off than other people.

what's the return?

we all must not be getting it.

what should the return be?

are you righteous about it?

Yes. I drew a line in the sand when I was 17 in terms of my older sister. She made monumental poor choices as a teen/young adult and my parents drew a wall around the rest of us and as the 2nd girl my mom was not about to let her influence me. So from since I was 13 she's mainly been ghost from my day to day life.

In my late 20s I would see her occasionally but from 13 to 27 made us virtual strangers. Also life hasn't been the greatest to her and she is quite bitter about it. Since she can't blame my parents for it I make an easy target. She's spent most of my adult life throwing shade in various forms with the main theme being Her=black sheep, me= Ms perfect and family favorite. I'm indifferent, which is other bone of contention. The hater in her wants to get a rise out of me in some way, I usually say hi and keep it moving.

I waste 0 energy worrying about her/situation.

do you plan to re-connect?

I can't see why not. Only major family functions have us in the same room and the last time was well over 10 years ago.

is it your fault? Not even.

what do your parents have to say about it? My mom would have to acknowledge that my sister's choices made her feel like she made a misstep in her parenting and to correct it she made sure daughter number 2 never would think to color outside the lines. Other than DNA my sister and I have 0 in common.

>are you righteous about it?

He's my dad's son so we didn't grow up together. More estranged due to the age gap and the fact that we were never tight to begin with.

>do you plan to re-connect?

About a year and a half ago his wife graduated from strayer and they did a family road trip up to DC for her graduation. I randomly met him and his kids in a parking lot near my apartment. He has like 5-6 kids... One that's in her early 20's.

>is it your fault?

No, more so our dad's fault for not making sure we spent time together growing up.

>what do your parents have to say about it?

My mom could care less. My dad could seemingly care less.

but we usually manage to re-connect. i just had a meal with him for his birthday recently. it was one of the better times hanging out with him.

the reason is rooted in substance abuse...he's had a tough battle with it since his college years. he seems to be doing better now though.

Rather not get into it.

i read it already.

naa naa.

It's actually the other estrangement that I didn't want to get into.

But yeah, she is the bitch. Well, my mom calls it "hateful."

but im desperate to understand the value of being associated with someone who just seems so ... unable to associate.

i think of them as selfish and in denial.

many people are like that.

but it seems these, specific, people are supposed to not behave like that, because they should understand we are related.

because relations are important.

dynasties were filled from bloodlines.

but what is so special about a bloodline?

>but what is so special about a bloodline?


I think it's important to have family, but family doesn't have to be biological.
It's nice when it is, but it's not necessary.

They're 69, I'm my dads only kid, and his twin never had kids. Seeing that they're twins, his kids probably woulda been like brothers n sisters with me.

A month ago, a random girl in Ohio hit me on FB and said "are you related to (your dad's twin's name)? If so, I feel I'm at liberty to tell you I'm his granddaughter."

He ain't got kids, so I reaoonded "which (his name) you talkin about?" and forgot about it the next day...just mistaken identity.

The next week, I get to my dad's sisters party, and they immediately say, "so, you got some new relatives!" I ask them who had a kid...but can tell they're kind of laughing, being sarcastic. They say, "your uncle (dads twin)....he got a 43 year old daughter and three grandkids!"

Ummm.................WHAT???????

I guess that same girl hit up everyone on FB who had our last name and was a mutual friend of my uncle, and my aunt asked more questions, and found out that the girl was legit!

They tell me he had a daughter 43 years ago in NY, before he got married, and never told AAAAAAAAAAAANY of us....not even my dad knew. He actually supported em financially, and was always in contact with em. No idea why he didn't tell us...I haven't talked to him about it yet.

I firmly consider myself an only child cause I was raised by my mother and I'm her only child and didn't have much of a relationship with my pops and thus have prolly hung with 3 outta 5 of my (known) half siblings about 5 times total. Two I've never even met at all and they both have two decades on me in age lol

The anthropologist in me really wants to study Black kinship values and systems, since many Blk men have children by several different women. Leading to a higher percentage of half siblings than any other "racial" group in the US

I have a half brother who is 12yrs older but I didn't meet him till my teen yrs. Actually didn't know he existed before the day I met him... Now that I think about it, if it wasn't for Facebook I probably wouldn't know much about him.

>are you righteous about it?
Not really, I blame it on circumstance... I keep in touch with him but the fact is that I grew up in a house with 2 other brothers and he wasn't one of em. He had a dope wedding earlier this year and we had to avoid it cause of family static but I would've loved to attend.

>do you plan to re-connect?
I tried to reconnect in the 4 yrs during college when I lived geographically close to him but it never happened. I think we will reconnect eventually or I'll see him over holidays. I still mention him when people ask if I have siblings.

>is it your fault?
NAH. I think he's just so much older and we rarely converse so when we do it's the standard "How've you been?" talk

>what do your parents have to say about it?
I bet my dad regrets not being in his life more.

>are you righteous about it?
>
>do you plan to re-connect?
>
>is it your fault?
>
>what do your parents have to say about it?

He's the son of a prostitute my father sired out of wedlock. Dude went on to commit a series of highly disgusting criminal acts and is now serving a 50+ year sentence for it. I wouldn't call this person and myself siblings in the slightest. No connection is possible because of what he did. The only parent that he and I have in common is in jail doing Dallas Mavericks numbers.

I'm straight on all this family stuff.

*pulls out vape pen*

how far apart in age are you?

>how far apart in age are you?

I don't even know how old he is in the first place. Dude had to plead guilty because if he didn't then the victims families (especially the brothers) would find him and kill him. Apparently, it was that bad.

She looks just like me. She's 21. We're not close because she was raised poorly and I don't enjoy her company. She's not a good person.

fuck 'em
they all crazy
don't nobody want that level of crazy in their life

>are you righteous about it?

yes and no. i still claim my brothers even though i know they ain't shit, but the women who used to be my sisters? fuck 'em forever and always.

>
>do you plan to re-connect?

with my former sisters? hell to the nope

>
>is it your fault?

hell to the nope

>
>what do your parents have to say about it?

considering that the events that caused the estrangement happened right after our father's funeral, there's no parental input to be had on this one.

just sayin'.

~~wbg~~
"I pray sometimes to keep my head together,
because you can use prayer however you want.
There are no rules one way or the other."
--Jami Attenberg

http://helpcde.blogspot.com
http://queeneulalia.blogspot.com
http://twitter.com/queeneulalia

this makes me sad

and I'm convinced they would treat the past differently.

lessons and shit.

levels to this shit. too many to get into.

My siblings are the two most important people in the world to me (im single obviously lol). My little sister and i uave the same natural parents, and our little brother has a different dad from our mom's 2nd marriage.

They really are my best friends, and i cant even text them without telling them that i love them just in case thats the last time we communicate.

I wouldnt expect anyone but my future wife to hold me down the way they do me, and vice versa. It makes me sad that some people dont have that.

i used to think like some of those in this post

didn't want anything to do with her

there's a 13 year age difference and i'd gone almost 25 years without her and didn't see a need for her presence in my life

but she was persistent as hell and one day it finally clicked

none of this is her fault and all she wanted was to have a relationship with me...her SISTER

5 or 6 years later, i can't imagine my life without her and her family

i have a niece and nephew now who are my world

i thank God for them

>are you righteous about it?
You mean do I acknowledge them? I guess
>do you plan to re-connect?
Naw, don't know them
>is it your fault?
Naw, Father's children and I've never known his side of the fam
>what do your parents have to say about it?
Mom says he's buggin but idk

I'd like to meet them but no love lost if not

Bio father's son and my brother and sister's sister and nephew. I don't acknowledge any of them, and correct anyone under the assumption that we are family.....

using/selling drugs, etc., and frankly, we weren't all that close to begin with, and he is still in the same state of mind that he was in when he left the house.

me and my stepsis don't really talk...maybe once a year....not that we don't get along, we just live diferent lives on different wavelengths....we didn't really grow up together either, so that plays into it...

...if something goes down i got her back, but we don't talk much

im not close to anyone but my aunt
and we just met last year
i was 31

but we are very close and im so happy that she is
in my life
she is so supportive of me
it just makes me so grateful for her in my life

don't know his name
or if he's even still alive.
i know we're approximately the same age
and likely attended the same school at some point.