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Subject: "*shrugs* not an argument for me. This is how we've chosen to raise" Previous topic | Next topic
FLUIDJ
Member since Sep 18th 2002
44695 posts
Thu Jan-25-24 01:21 PM

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80. "*shrugs* not an argument for me. This is how we've chosen to raise"
In response to In response to 76


  

          

our children. We see validity in it and have measurable results as well.

I haven't assigned a title to it, that's you and all them other folks just trying to coin some shit for fame and recognition....I think titles are silly. Nobody renames the earth over it's millions of years of evolution....it's just accepted for it continues to evolve into.

Black is and Black will always be.

Not sure why you're concluding that anyone is cutting off their past. If anything, it's a conscious assessment and acknowledgment and calculated decision to advance the approach on our existence. This is a result OF learning.

You don't teach math by starting with the equations and problems....you start with the numbers. They'll learn about racism,
but we're not approaching it the way our parents did.

I remember making a post 10-11 years ago when my first daughter was born asking for book recommendations that don't beat you over the head with blackness. It was poorly worded for shock value of course, but there was validity that i'm sure now some folks get where I was coming from since a lot of us have kids now vs. back then....regarding that specific book, never been a fan of it. There's no real reason to teach a child, at the age group it's geared towards, that others hate or don't understand their hair....We own 2 copies because we support Black folks...but we held off on reading it to both of our girls for a while.

When I say "We" I'm talking about ME and my WIFE...that's not a collective we. I was raised in a southern bible toting, church going, Black family of southerners that'd been southerners since being brought over on the slave ships. Wife was similar, but not exactly. I have an arabic name that was a result of my parents being caught up in the movement in the mid-70's, but it didn't stick with them and they reverted back to being just regular Black folk by the time my younger brother was born. I sought out and learned about Black Nationalism as a direct result of Hip Hop in the 80's...they didn't stiffle my exploration, but they also didn't nourish it or encourage it. They allowed it. So i'm sharing MY experience, don't equate it as me making a blanket statement about everyone. We are not a monolith.

I sense that your kids, being in the pre-teen age bracket, are at the prime time for them to be exposed to and educated on racism and race in a way that allows them to be empowered by the knowledge. I personally don't think anything younger than 9 is an appropriate age...which I acknowledge is likely not a popular opinion. Our oldest is 11 and she's at the age where i'm able to talk to her about stuff and i'm confident she processes it in a way that doesn't diminish her self impression. My 7 year old though?? If you tell her that her pants are getting to short she translates that to you telling her she's an awful human being that will never amount to shit because she's rocking highwaters....*shrugs*

Again...none of this is "post Black stuff".


"Get ready....for your blessing....."
"Bury me by my Grand-Grand and when you can come follow me"

  

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Did your parents talk to you about racism? [View all] , 3CardMolly, Sat Jan-20-24 06:18 PM
 
Subject Author Message Date ID
Not really.
Jan 20th 2024
1
RE: Not really.
Jan 20th 2024
2
when I was 6 or 7 I was at the movie theater
Jan 21st 2024
3
RE: when I was 6 or 7 I was at the movie theater
Jan 21st 2024
5
      My school hated seeing my mom walk into the front office
Jan 22nd 2024
11
           RE: My school hated seeing my mom walk into the front office
Jan 22nd 2024
23
16 years old, got invited to a "white party"
Jan 21st 2024
4
yeah but it was a more realistic approach
Jan 21st 2024
6
RE: yeah but it was a more realistic approach
Jan 22nd 2024
24
      yeah i think i was in the 4th or 5th grade
Jan 23rd 2024
33
           RE: yeah i think i was in the 4th or 5th grade
Jan 23rd 2024
38
nope.
Jan 21st 2024
7
RE: nope.
Jan 22nd 2024
25
he hasn't had a good life.
Jan 23rd 2024
27
      Thats sad.
Jan 23rd 2024
37
wtf? why did she say that shit?
Jan 23rd 2024
30
All THE time.
Jan 22nd 2024
8
This. I grew up around mostly black people, and that shaped my outlook
Jan 22nd 2024
13
RE: All THE time.
Jan 22nd 2024
26
They would school me on a situational basis.
Jan 22nd 2024
9
I got that book for my birthday. Just started it.
Jan 22nd 2024
12
RE: They would school me on a situational basis.
Feb 12th 2024
94
Yes, from as early as I can remember too
Jan 22nd 2024
10
RE: Yes, from as early as I can remember too
Jan 23rd 2024
39
(White)
Jan 22nd 2024
14
What was the conversation(s) like?
Jan 22nd 2024
15
Don't trust whitey?
Jan 22nd 2024
16
      LOL
Jan 22nd 2024
17
           That's dope - for real.
Jan 22nd 2024
18
           Yea I was very lucky.
Jan 22nd 2024
19
           Yeah that's pretty cool.
Jan 22nd 2024
20
                Yea for sure.
Jan 23rd 2024
28
                     RE: Yea for sure.
Jan 23rd 2024
40
how racist was he?
Jan 23rd 2024
36
      From a scale of Archie Bunker to David Duke?
Jan 24th 2024
56
      Definitely Archie Bunker
Jan 24th 2024
61
      this was my first thought. like, how do these 2 ppl meet and link?
Jan 26th 2024
84
Only After I Encountered It Firsthand
Jan 22nd 2024
21
Man, every story I hear makes it sound like "Bussing" was just a bad ide...
Jan 23rd 2024
29
We Earned Those Educational Opportunities
Jan 28th 2024
90
Port Richmond or Richmond, VA?
Jan 25th 2024
82
      RE: Port Richmond
Jan 28th 2024
89
not really but
Jan 22nd 2024
22
I’m looking at MSC cruises and Black folk keep talking about racism
Jan 23rd 2024
32
I quit teaching at a school
Feb 18th 2024
113
      My wife was hit by a latino kid in HS.
Feb 19th 2024
116
first time it really hit home. 5th grade
Jan 23rd 2024
31
RE: first time it really hit home. 5th grade
Jan 23rd 2024
41
      they were not friends
Jan 24th 2024
44
           yep, total wake up call
Jan 24th 2024
45
I grew up in a segregated Austin
Jan 23rd 2024
34
"I didn't have to have a talk about racism. I lived it."
Jan 24th 2024
47
      I guess its different if you lived it and dont talk about it
Jan 24th 2024
49
      Wasn't nothing to talk about really
Jan 24th 2024
51
           I think everyone had a first time
Jan 24th 2024
52
                My childhood wasnt like that
Jan 24th 2024
54
                     my kids were doing geometry at 18 months
Jan 24th 2024
59
                          Homie theres VHS Im not on a Katt Williams
Jan 24th 2024
62
                               Look how he swipes YOUR life experience away bc HE cant understand it
Jan 25th 2024
64
                               RE: Look how he swipes YOUR life experience away bc HE cant understand i...
Jan 25th 2024
68
                               RE: Homie theres VHS Im not on a Katt Williams
Jan 25th 2024
74
                                    RE: Homie theres VHS Im not on a Katt Williams
Jan 25th 2024
75
                                    i have a friend who intentionally has very little discussions about raci...
Jan 28th 2024
91
      From reading stories that folks posted looks as if things happened
Jan 24th 2024
50
           But wasn't every body here immersed?
Jan 24th 2024
53
                Who would be smug about being aware of race early?
Jan 24th 2024
55
                Fam, you could have just said your Folks didn't talk to you about race.
Jan 25th 2024
69
                     It woudlve ended with the same paragraph
Jan 25th 2024
70
                     Also I think you misunderstand me about intelligence
Jan 25th 2024
71
                I’m reading his post in a Ronnie Mathis voice
Jan 24th 2024
60
                     Lol, bruh
Jan 28th 2024
86
                          maybe its not intentional
Feb 14th 2024
110
yep but my father told me to never focus on it
Jan 23rd 2024
35
RE: yep but my father told me to never focus on it
Jan 23rd 2024
42
RE: yep but my father told me to never focus on it
Jan 24th 2024
58
Is your dad Carribean or African?
Jan 24th 2024
46
no he's from rural Georgia
Jan 24th 2024
57
      this is pretty dope.
Feb 12th 2024
97
Sounds like Condeleeza Rice’s parents
Jan 24th 2024
48
I took the subway and 2 busses to school. Plenty of time to listen to PE
Jan 24th 2024
43
good stuff
Jan 24th 2024
63
The expat adventures are so valuable
Jan 28th 2024
87
I'm Black & born in 76, so yes...but here's the thing:
Jan 25th 2024
65
Good post.. my daughter is 8 and will speak on folks skin color
Jan 25th 2024
66
Here's the current "struggle" for us. Going back home to NC to visit...
Jan 25th 2024
67
      lmao.. see, that sounds like normal convo for a Black household
Jan 25th 2024
72
           Yeah I'm not saying it wrong, but I recognized long ago it was the root
Jan 25th 2024
73
                word. I wonder if this is a southern thing
Jan 25th 2024
77
                     Possibly; it's not as pronounced on my wife's side. They from the D.
Jan 25th 2024
78
ahhh, the new negro argument. I respectfully disagree
Jan 25th 2024
76
Its a balancing act. My kids are too young for Black ish
Jan 25th 2024
79
Two things:
Jan 25th 2024
81
      IDK. I see this "doesn't diminish her self impression" talk though
Jan 25th 2024
83
Indeed
Jan 28th 2024
88
      How you put Nat Turner, Black Panthers and Bernhard Goetz in the same
Jan 29th 2024
92
           Goetz??? You mean Colin Ferguson right.
Feb 12th 2024
98
                Goetz was NYC subway in the 80's, Ferguson was LIRR in the 90's
Feb 13th 2024
103
                     Why doesnt Ferguson belong?
Feb 18th 2024
114
Yes, and....
Jan 26th 2024
85
Im taking a wild guess
Feb 12th 2024
99
      WAF
Feb 13th 2024
104
           RE: WAF
Feb 18th 2024
115
My mom was a Black Panther in Chicago in the 60s.
Jan 30th 2024
93
RE: My mom was a Black Panther in Chicago in the 60s.
Feb 12th 2024
100
Basically you can't do what your white friends do,
Feb 12th 2024
95
This brings a second post to mind
Feb 12th 2024
101
My mom told me not to trust ofays lol
Feb 12th 2024
96
RE: My mom told me not to trust ofays lol
Feb 12th 2024
102
RE: got called a nigger so much by the time I went to school
Feb 13th 2024
105
Damn, bro. Where'd you grow up?
Feb 13th 2024
106
      NC
Feb 13th 2024
107
           umm.. where do you live in NC?
Feb 14th 2024
109
           I don't live there anymore
Feb 19th 2024
117
                whew, drive by there on my way to Southport on 74.
Feb 19th 2024
120
                RE: 74? oh you know all about it then
Feb 19th 2024
121
                     I know to get food and gas and get back on the highway.. lol
Feb 19th 2024
122
                          RE: oh its super segregated like that
Feb 19th 2024
123
                Yikes...my wife is from down there (Nakina right outside Whiteville)
Feb 19th 2024
124
                     RE: never been there but I've heard about it
Feb 19th 2024
125
                          Yeah...when we dated in college in the 90s/00s, I'd drive down there
Feb 19th 2024
126
                               RE: you ain't kidding
Feb 19th 2024
127
           RE: NC
Feb 18th 2024
111
           RE: that I don't know
Feb 19th 2024
118
           RE:EDIT 2014 not 2017
Feb 19th 2024
119
Not really
Feb 13th 2024
108
RE: Not really
Feb 18th 2024
112

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