This is a subject that gets me going.
But it goes like this:

Every generation, there is a tendency for some black people to declare, this is a new moment for black people, the past can only inform us but sooo much.

Amiri Baraka called in the Black Arts Movement in the 1960s.
Trey Ellis called it the New Black Aesthetic in 1989.
Pharrell Williams called in 'The New Black' in the 2010s.
(OJ lightweight said it when he said I am not Black, I'm OJ)

And I don't disagree that every time things were different, but I think its a mistake to cut off our past and not learn anything from it, and not seeing certain things that might not ever change.

In other words, I think it's kind of dangerous to not make black kids aware of our past, our journey and some of the obstacles that we as black people have always faced.

And I think it's possible to thread the needle of making them aware of the obstacles, without leaving them defeated before they even start or feel any sort of inferiority.

It's hard an complicated but its worth it so your kid doesn't turn out like Candace Owens or the black maga guy dancing in that video.

At the same time, I get what you are saying. I got kind of lightweight annoyed when their class read "Hair Like Mine" because it wasn't until they read that book that they had any notion that some people view their hair as inferior. Sure, some kids need to read the book because of their experience. But my kids didn't (and maybe not in a classroom).

And I 100% disagree with this "we were raised with the self-image of being victims and "less than""

No. No. No. For example, being raised in Black Nationalism/NOI household you are not only taught you are not inferior, but you are taught that you are SUPERIOR to your white counterparts. Even short of that, it is 100% possible to be raised racially conscious and not have inferiority issues.


Finally, not to say I got it figured out. I am not working with a plan really and just kind of winging it with my kids who are definitely in a different environment then I grew up (Ie, sending them to white majority schools). It's not like we sit them down for talks. we do a lot of gentle nudging. I mean, yall can clown me, but I think just having my kid watch Black-ish when they were young was super helpful in having some of those convos or alerting them to certain things so they didn't find out the hard way.

They are in the 7th grade and are really starting to run into the first little racial incidents. They usually come in the form of their little friend group pushing the boundaries on what they can say and get away with.

This week. I heard this story. These kids wanted to form a group where no joke was off-limit. My kids weren't in it and even told another black boy don't do it ("have some racial dignity" my son told him). Anyway the asian kid did it and then of course the white kid cross the line and started doing squinty eye jokes. My son told him to cut it out and he didn't so my son recorded him. white kid freaks out and begs him to delete it. My son says nah I am going to hold onto it, you should act right going forward.

My kids didn't want to tell us about it because they thought we would go to the school and complain about the kid. We didn't because we felt like we liked the way my son handled it. In fact, proud of how he handled it (yes this is low key stuntin). We also don't mind that our kids will continue to be friends with this kid. . Some might think it's important to escalate to the school the other kids parents, at this age, we think it's important for our kids to know to check folks when it happens, and if stops, keep it moving. My boys don't need the stress of a schoolwide scandal.

Anyway, all this is to say, be careful with that post-Black stuff.




>We're in a COMPLETELY different world right now...and what
>worked back then, doesn't work now.
>
>We have NOT explicitly talked about racism with our children
>in the same way that we were "taught"....or should I say had
>fear instilled in us from a young age.
>
>No matter how you slice it, despite all the talks about Black
>pride, perseverance, turning the other cheek, being strong,
>etc., etc., etc....we were raised with the self image of being
>victims and "less than". I don't want that for my children at
>all. We haven't figured out a way to teach them about racism,
>at this young age anyway, without them forming a false
>impression in their young minds of how that aligns with their
>identity.
>
>We are doing our best to raise them human, citizens,
>individuals, Americans, children of Mr. & Mrs. FLUIDJ,
>grandchildren, part of a long history.....and wrapped up in
>all of that is of course their Blackness. We are teaching
>them that they need to move in this world focused more on the
>friends that they make, and the people that they DO like and
>that DO like them rather than the people that don't. The goal
>is for them to get it in their heads that those people don't
>matter and time shouldn't be wasted on them...white, Black,
>black, or anything...


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"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"