saturday afternoon, i called my brother. he sounds dejected - as per usual.

i ask him what's going on & he tells me some guys tried to kill him last night.

he was in a car. i assume he was driving. he says that a female friend of his was standing a few yards away, talking to a few guys that she'd already knew.

he then says that he heard one of the men ask his friend, "who, him - that nigga?"

the man, who also happened to be holding a gallon-jar of hennessy, pointed in my brother's direction.

he then hurled the jar at the windshield of the vehicle.

the force shattered the windshield, and the jar hit my brother in the face. during his retelling of these events, i could hear that his mouth was terribly swollen.

my brother got out of the vehicle, at which point the men confronted him.

they asked if my brother had any problems with what had just transpired. my brother replied that there were no problems, save for the ones they'd recently manufactured.

my brother then summoned for his "friend", who made haste returning to the car. once back inside, they both managed to speed off.

as they fled, he said that he heard the sound of several more gunshots being discharged in the direction of their vehicle.

during my attempts to grasp this new information, i did manage to advise my brother to part ways with this mysterious "friend." i added that perhaps she was not the best company. especially if these were the type of men she fraternized with.

(which begs the question; has my brother devolved into one of these men? scary.)

he dismissed this notion, and said "aw, it wasn't her fault. she ain't know all that shit was gonna go down and that them niggas was gon' get ta drinkin' and actin' a fool. besides, everybody in (city) has friends like that"

last night, several men tried to kill my brother.

*also*

- when weighed against some of the other stories my brother has shared w/me in the past - this is probably pg-13. its taken awhile but i'm starting to realize that he should either be more careful to avoid these kinds of events, or keep this shit to himself. its damaging to my psyche, sleep patterns, and appetite.

- my brother & i had a pretty nasty exchange after my learning of these recent events. we cursed one another out pretty thoroughly, and i practically begged him to be wiser going forward. i called him this morning - no answer. i'm fucked up, and trying to stave off the depression that closely follows grappling w/shit like this. i love this kid, he is the closest thing to me, and i'd die for him. but ever since he returned home from prison (2006-2012) he's been a shell of his former self. he's angry and resentful, and in an instant he shuts down on those who love him most.

- this has been one of many recent paradigm-shifts that i've experienced after my paternal grandmother's passing this past december. i totaled my jetta in a rollover accident 2 wks ago - i stayed out fishing (in pretty cold temps) for far too long and dozed off on a two-laner not far from my house. fortunately, i nor anyone else was harmed, thanks to god, the inventor seat-belt, and volkswagen (great cars).

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#BYLUG >>> https://goo.gl/1ooFp6

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screamin' mothafuck a 12 /
bitches ain't shit /
cops ain't neither /
they huntin' my people /

- i. rashad

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