My child support was adjusted a few weeks ago. I have one son and love him like any REAL father would. My child support went up from 230 a month to 617 a month. Even though I only make a LITTLE bit more than I used to.....here are some thoughts that I wrote the day it was increased.....some of these things might have been written out of anger but I am leaving it as it is would like some opinions on the questions I brought up though:

Nicole and I had a child together. We then decided the relationship was not working out. I had provided equal monetary support to Jacob up until this time. Soon after we separated she met someone else, married him and moved to another state. She did not give me an address. Needless to say I could not offer any type of support to my son after this. She then wrote a letter to Domestic Relations detailing my lack of support. I was labled a dead-beat father and issued a court date. On this day they determined my obligation to Jacob. I had no problem with it as I wanted more than anything to be able to support my son even if only monetarily. I agreed to the amount but noticed when the judge asked Nicole her address that she stated she still lived in Maryland. I did not bring this up however as I was already labled the bad guy. Since then I have had my obligation adjusted (increased) from 115 bi-weekly to 617 a month. I am only making one dollar more per hour than when it was originally determined. They added in the cost of daycare which I am now paying for 100%. I make 57% of our combined income. I was Also told that I would need to provide health insurance if my job offers it. Unless it was "unreasonable". The lady went on to explain that "unreasonable" had no clear cut definition but the way she had always determined it was that if the health insurance cost interfered with my child support obligation it would be "unreasonable". Meaning if I made say $550 dollars a month and my obligation was $500, with health insurance being $49, well that is reasonable according to the State, even though it would leave me with only $1 a month. I recently lost my job and after about 2 weeks recieved a letter telling me that my license was going to be suspended for failure to pay my child support. I assumed that if I was making no money my 57% of our income would now be 0%. Of course I was wrong. However it is interesting to note that if Nicole loses her job my obligation would go up, she would also not have her license suspended. I find it odd that my child support comes out of my check before I ever see it, yet Nicole's 43% is not in any way regulated by any government agency. If she loses her job it is ok but if I lose mine I am a dead beat dad. I also think it is odd that the government requires no reciepts or proof that my support is going to Jacob. I was told that even if Nicole used the money to pay for her rent since Jacob lives with her it would be considered legal. Well does that apply to her car payment and HER clothes and HER food also, because none of that was considered when determining my obligation. I have to pay rent, I have a car and I need to eat. Without these things I would die, and thus be unable to pay my child support or ever hope of spending time with Jacob. I love my son and want what is best for him like any father would, but not at the expense of my own life. I just want to be treated fairly. So far I have not been. Nicole's job offers Health insurance why is she not obligated to pay for it....or at least pay her 47% of it. What about daycare why am I paying the full cost? Also if while watching Jacob one day I met a woman and decided to get married to her and move to alaska....I would then be guilty of kidnapping well what about the fact that she did exactly that and suffered no legal action what-so-ever. I feel this system needs to be re-evaluated on the grounds that it is biased against fathers, and only works to bring the MOTHER into a meaningful, carefree and LUCRATIVE relationship with the child. WIC? What happened to Men and Infant Children? Why am I a dead-beat father.....for not sending money to my sons GRANDMOTHER who was the only address I had when Nicole moved?!!?!? How do they figure I'll find a new job with no license. Just some things to ponder.

I would like to add that Nicole told my son the guy she married was his father and that I am just a friend of hers. When I have to discipline him it makes me feel like an asshole, cause he's like "who the hell does this guy think he is....wait till I tell my dad"...you know. How can I tell a 5 year old that I am his dad and that his mom lied to him....I can't.....man, if I knew having a child was going to make me the devil I would have though twice.........