When I was 12, my father showed me how to use his gun. I was female, often left at home watching my younger sisters alone and he was worried about wild kids roaming the alley next to the house getting inside the house and harming us while he was away. He demonstrated but did not let me touch it. Ironically, the very next day, a drugged out woman got into the house to kidnap my sisters and I almost killed her.

Now, I am a grown woman and I do not own a gun. I'll never use a gun because I value life, even the lives of criminals and disturbed, violent people. I was so scared back then. I was helpless and the woman was taking my sisters away. I saw the gun and decided I had no choice but to use it. I wanted to scare the woman but the gun went off and the bullet hit the wall. After that I wasn't scared. I felt powerful. The woman left the house in a hurry and I kept the gun with me until my father came home.

I wish this was a tall tale but it's very true. The lesson I learned was that using a gun was in conflict with my inner beliefs (even at age 12). But how many kids get a second chance once they cross that line? Few, if any. I grew up, never got in a fight and managed to survive unharmed and not harming anyone.

When I was child, I lacked the judgement needed to deal with that situation. I felt like the gun was my only option. My father had just taught me that using his gun was a last resort and I felt like that was it. I felt like I had no control and a stranger (an adult) had our lives in her hands. The gun gave me power and control, if only for a moment.

The truth is that many kids feel less and less safe. Some are unsafe at home and unsafe at school. Some feel like they have no options, no control over their lives. We are not breeding violent kids but the society we live in is forcing some kids to take back control by any means necessary.

Is it the television or the movies? No. Kids played with guns since they were made into toys and people watched "The Rifleman", "Gunsmoke" in the 60's, James Bond movies and "Rambo". Many of these movies glorified violence but never have we seen the kind of violence we see kids dealing with now. TV and the movies haven't changed but something else has.


"Know thyself"

"Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, "I will never leave you or forsake you". So we may boldly say, "The Lord is my helper, I will not fear. What can man do to me?"
-- Hebrews 13:5,6

"There is a difference between knowing the path and walking the path"
--Morpheus in "The Matrix"

"It's our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities"- Dumbledore to Harry Potter "Chamber of Secrets"

<--- Blame this lady for Nutty.