at least was another goddamn BLUECHIP post...

lol



steven wright tribute month.

the top 20 list.

1."curiosity killed that cat..........but for a while i was a suspect"

2." i was arrested once for walking in someone else's sleep"

3." i was walking through the forrest alone and a tree fell right in front of me......and i didn't hear it.........."

4."i bought some batteries.....but they weren't included."

5. "why is the alphabet in that order?.......is it because of that song?...the guy who wrote that song wrote everything.

6. "why is it a penny for your thoughts, but you have to put your two cents in?....somebody's making a penny...."

7. "i like to tease my plants when i water them....i water them with ice cubes"

8."for my birthday i got a humidifier and a dehumidifier.......put em in the same room and i let em fight it out......."

9. "....so i told her i knew i was gonna die cause there is an expiration date on my birth certificate...."

10. "i got some powdered water but i don't know what to add..."

11. "i got an answering machine for my phone, now when i'm not home when someone calls they get a recording of a busy signal."

12. "i have a map of the united states, it's an actual size.......1 mile equals 1 mile....they ask me where i live and i say 'e-5'.

13. "i broke a mirror in my house, supposed to get 7 years bad luck......my lawyer thinks that he can get me 5"

14. "got home the other day and everything in my house had been stolen, and replaced with an exact replica......couldn't believe it!........called my friend said 'look at this stuff! it's all an exact replica what do you think?'.....he said 'do i know you?'"

15."my girlfriend has a queen sized bed.....i have a court jester sized bed..."

16. "i hate when my foot falls asleep in the day cause that means it will be up all night."

17. "one time i went to a drive in, in a cab....movie cost me $95.00"

18. "just got out of hospital....i had a speed reading accident"

19. "one time in the middle of a job interview i took out a book and i started reading......guy said "what the hell are you doing?!" i said 'listen lemme ask you one question, if you were in a vehicle traveling at the speed of light, then you turned your lights on what would happen?' he said 'i don't know--' i said 'forget it then, i don't want to work for you'".

20. "i put instant coffee into a microwave over and i almost went back in time"

check the resume

organix-93
(from the ground up)-94
do you want more?!!???!-95
illadelph halflife-96
things fall apart-99
(the legendary)-99
the roots come alive-99
phrenology-2002
the tipping point-2004
(the roots present...) 2004
homegrown: the beginne