Printer-friendly copy Email this topic to a friend
Lobby General Discussion General Discussion Archives topic #75170

Subject: "not bad. tenses are inconsistent. distracting." This topic is locked.
Previous topic | Next topic
dhalgren718
Member since Jun 20th 2002
16992 posts
Wed Oct-05-05 03:27 PM

Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
75. "not bad. tenses are inconsistent. distracting."
In response to In response to 70


  

          

http://50yearsfromnow.blogspot.com
MONGO IS A RACIST PIECE OF SHIT.

  

Printer-friendly copy


okaywriters, everyone: Flash Fiction exercise=one-page story [View all] , madwriter, Wed Oct-05-05 09:36 AM
 
Subject Author Message Date ID
I'll be back with this...
Oct 05th 2005
1
here is mine
Oct 05th 2005
2
Damn.
Oct 05th 2005
39
what? lol
Oct 05th 2005
43
      That shit was more depressing than G's. Wow. lol. tight tho.
Oct 05th 2005
51
           peopel keep saying that
Oct 05th 2005
54
Me like, me like...
Oct 05th 2005
71
word. I might try one right quick.
Oct 05th 2005
3
easier said then done
Oct 05th 2005
4
i'd murder this if i wasn't working.
Oct 05th 2005
5
I tried
Oct 05th 2005
6
Y u gotta be all depressin n shit? I mean, damn. 12.49?
Oct 05th 2005
23
sad stories stick
Oct 05th 2005
35
... sliver of street cred
Oct 05th 2005
36
This ain't my best, but I'm at work. What can I tell you.
Oct 05th 2005
7
Damn!
Oct 05th 2005
21
lol You're a sicko
Oct 05th 2005
67
LIFE is vulgar and grimy. I'm just keeping pace. But thank you.
Oct 05th 2005
74
Very visual. Very die hardish. Very good.
Oct 05th 2005
78
Dude. I wrote it in eleven minutes. Give me a LITTLE credit...
Oct 05th 2005
80
      It was a compliment all the way dude
Oct 05th 2005
81
           fair enuff. now i don't have to shoot this kitten.
Oct 05th 2005
83
                But how will you write your next story if not from experience?
Oct 05th 2005
84
                     I leave the kitten killing stories to my co-dee, Adwhizz.
Oct 05th 2005
85
                          now comment on my ish below please
Oct 05th 2005
87
that was dope. strength of Solomon though?
Oct 05th 2005
93
Yeah, maybe a little heavy handed, I'll concede.
Oct 05th 2005
95
      Solomon though? or Samson?
Oct 05th 2005
96
           ... i failed Hebrew School. Dang it! DANG IT!!!!
Oct 05th 2005
100
---PART TWO---
Oct 05th 2005
104
a tale of two new lovers:
Oct 05th 2005
8
lol lord
Oct 05th 2005
10
      its *my* fantasy! in *my* fantasy he has an accent....
Oct 05th 2005
11
*ahem*
Oct 05th 2005
9
lol. Tight.
Oct 05th 2005
18
I like it, but it leaves me wanting some more
Oct 05th 2005
41
Ok...kinda crappy, but I'm at work haha
Oct 05th 2005
12
*sigh*
Oct 06th 2005
115
      *leo on* Dag, was it that bad? *leo off*
Oct 19th 2005
167
           nah...to be honest, I think I missed this one.
Oct 19th 2005
168
up. this was fun.
Oct 05th 2005
13
^
Oct 05th 2005
14
The Punchline to the World's Greatest Joke
Oct 05th 2005
15
Feel a bit cheesy for asking, but I'd like a critique or two
Oct 05th 2005
90
RE: The Punchline to the World's Greatest Joke
Oct 06th 2005
142
Lemonade
Oct 05th 2005
16
I like, a bit hard to follow i think
Oct 05th 2005
22
Damn, how so?
Oct 06th 2005
117
nice
Oct 05th 2005
32
I just now paid attention to the title
Oct 05th 2005
68
we critiquing these things?
Oct 05th 2005
17
do what u like
Oct 05th 2005
19
We should
Oct 05th 2005
20
5 fucking writers. ya'll so damn shy. n/m
Oct 05th 2005
24
huh?
Oct 05th 2005
29
      I'm sayin. it's more writers than what was participating.
Oct 05th 2005
38
Go to my plot post for inspiration
Oct 05th 2005
25
Somebody give me a word to start
Oct 05th 2005
26
      empathy
Oct 05th 2005
27
      used it
Oct 05th 2005
34
      sodomy
Oct 05th 2005
28
      used it
Oct 05th 2005
33
      riddle
Oct 05th 2005
46
           too late
Oct 05th 2005
           too late
Oct 05th 2005
65
Love stories
Oct 05th 2005
30
I DIDN'T WRITE THIS SHIT FOR NOBODY TO COMMENT ON
Oct 05th 2005
61
lol
Oct 05th 2005
62
1. You are believable as a homewrecker lol
Oct 05th 2005
63
Thank you for honoring me with kind words and critique
Oct 05th 2005
64
This cat. n/m
Oct 05th 2005
66
Cat?
Oct 05th 2005
69
Needs editing. Here's why.
Oct 05th 2005
88
I would expect nothing less
Oct 05th 2005
89
Eeeevil
Oct 05th 2005
105
An old story I wrote 2 years ago
Oct 05th 2005
31
Neat, though you lose points for posting an old story
Oct 05th 2005
52
Neat, though you lose points for posting an old story
Oct 05th 2005
53
I took from the story two things.
Oct 06th 2005
131
okay, I just wrote this
Oct 05th 2005
37
I like the characters
Oct 05th 2005
109
      Thank you
Oct 06th 2005
127
...
Oct 05th 2005
40
I love it.
Oct 05th 2005
42
thanks
Oct 05th 2005
47
      me too. I haven't done any writing like this prolly since the
Oct 05th 2005
48
I like it, iuicide with character development wrapped up in a package
Oct 05th 2005
55
      a literary burrito.....
Oct 06th 2005
133
lol I'm procrastinating my work, so I'll free-write
Oct 05th 2005
44
Feels like shit after reading yours compared to mine
Oct 05th 2005
49
I was waiting for this. Good shit. nm
Oct 05th 2005
50
oh that sucks man, good stuff
Oct 05th 2005
56
I might tackle this... I need some motivation
Oct 05th 2005
45
RE:
Oct 05th 2005
57
Hmm...
Oct 05th 2005
58
how boho of u
Oct 05th 2005
59
*lights nag champa* *sits indian style* *hums deeply*
Oct 05th 2005
60
Here. Forgive any types or mispellings
Oct 05th 2005
70
Tight.
Oct 05th 2005
73
Yeah, I know
Oct 05th 2005
77
Dark.Moody.Cool.As.Hell.
Oct 05th 2005
76
this here is some creepy shit
Oct 05th 2005
103
I wrote this in like seven minutes. I must be really bored at work
Oct 05th 2005
72
I was kind of hoping the figure would be
Oct 05th 2005
92
      I thought that would be to obvious
Oct 05th 2005
108
waiting for that 5 0'clock to roll around
Oct 05th 2005
79
i'll be back later tonight. at work.
Oct 05th 2005
82
Freshman
Oct 05th 2005
86
nice imagery.
Oct 05th 2005
110
      Thanks, mayne....
Oct 06th 2005
120
so that's what all my posts are? well, flash non-fiction.
Oct 05th 2005
91
here's mine
Oct 05th 2005
94
Here's my contribution...
Oct 05th 2005
97
most polished read in this thread, imo.
Oct 05th 2005
101
Thanks, mang
Oct 05th 2005
102
That shit was dope.
Oct 06th 2005
116
it pains me to say: i dont get it.
Oct 06th 2005
119
well, I sorta left it open to interpretation
Oct 06th 2005
128
Cool. Nice imagery of her thoughts.
Oct 06th 2005
122
I'm not tryna pigeonhole you when I say this
Oct 06th 2005
132
      Please, pigeonhole away
Oct 06th 2005
138
wow, anyone else notice how dark these stories are?
Oct 05th 2005
98
i'll be back here in a lil bit.
Oct 05th 2005
99
& now for something completely different
Oct 05th 2005
106
hmmm... very Pulp Fiction-ish
Oct 05th 2005
107
      Thirst-1st person-present tense
Oct 06th 2005
111
Spartacuz.
Oct 06th 2005
112
SLAPBOXING WITH JESUS, VICTOR D. LAVALLE.
Oct 06th 2005
121
i'll take that as a compliment. i dig vic lavalle.
Oct 06th 2005
123
      meant as a compliment. he opened a story @ the bronx like that.
Oct 06th 2005
124
           i remember that story. I'M A BITER YO!
Oct 06th 2005
125
                that's the one. i won't rat. you're clear.
Oct 06th 2005
126
niceness
Oct 06th 2005
130
      thanks folk.
Oct 06th 2005
139
Tiny
Oct 06th 2005
113
& now for something completely different, pt II
Oct 06th 2005
114
You ain't no astronaut.
Oct 06th 2005
118
interesting.
Oct 06th 2005
134
i'd like to have his problems.
Oct 07th 2005
144
ima have to print this post out
Oct 06th 2005
129
OK
Oct 06th 2005
135
heres mine
Oct 06th 2005
136
RE: okaywriters, everyone: Flash Fiction exercise=one-page story
Oct 06th 2005
137
RE: okaywriters, everyone: Flash Fiction exercise=one-page story
Oct 06th 2005
140
i like it
Oct 06th 2005
141
damn.
Oct 07th 2005
143
i'll give it a go
Oct 07th 2005
145
bueller? bueller?
Oct 07th 2005
146
suggestions? comments?
Oct 07th 2005
147
read me!!!
Oct 07th 2005
148
wow.
Oct 07th 2005
149
that's it?
Oct 07th 2005
150
      i'm not no lit critic
Oct 07th 2005
151
           something like that
Oct 08th 2005
154
Hello, Beans.
Oct 07th 2005
152
      she's a schitzophrenic
Oct 08th 2005
153
like a slow bullet.
Oct 08th 2005
155
up for more.
Oct 08th 2005
156
okay. i've got something. it's kinda long, maybe?
Oct 09th 2005
157
cold blooded!
Oct 10th 2005
158
I likes
Oct 11th 2005
160
yo we should put togtehr a chap book of al these stories
Oct 11th 2005
159
I'll help. What do you want to do? Just edit, or...
Oct 11th 2005
161
should this be archived till i cna fgure out what to do what al these st...
Oct 13th 2005
162
not yet.
Oct 13th 2005
163
      then when? n/m
Oct 13th 2005
164
i'm soooo going to contribute to this .. i shall return my loves!
Oct 13th 2005
165
this should be archived i guess
Oct 19th 2005
166
who do i tell to archive this?
Oct 26th 2005
169

Lobby General Discussion General Discussion Archives topic #75170 Previous topic | Next topic
Powered by DCForum+ Version 1.25
Copyright © DCScripts.com