i'm only here so i dont get fined..

@geahuwine

And watching "the clock run out" on some can pull at your heart.

------
“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

and "Strippers & Percocets" on my way to the office this morning.

What a time to be alive!

Oh yeah! I'm also getting scared as phuck to be out in the streets at night cuz these youngins ain't bullshittin!

I've not really wanted to talk much to anyone except for my daughter.

My lady is getting on my nerves like a mofo. And I don't say that often or feel that often cuz I'm always looking to stay above the normal relationship nonsense. Right now though is a special case altogether.

It dawned on me that I have lost two significant relationships this year. My son and I will never be the same. Nor will me and the cat who I believed to be like a brother to me.

Oh well!

What a time to be alive!

Edit: I've also be reminiscing on how 9 years ago, a few of my ATL OKP fam threw me a slick lil party. Ran across the pics last week and they've been on my mind ever since. It was the official kick-off of Creole's "35 Days of 35".

_______________________
We rationalize dumb shit

Toss one back for the old boy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mnKUUBKLygE&feature=youtu.be&t=1m24s

"I switched my motto -- instead of sayin fuck tommorrow
That buck that bought a bottle could've struck the lotto"

This is probably my most favorite line in the whole song.

Thanks for the link...

I put in for a job with the city's cultural events department.

granted it's an admin job, but it can put me in a position to network.

there is also a job open...it's in collections...not really in a good networking position but it's in my work experience wheelhouse, but pays $8k more than what I would be making in the cultural events position...I need money.



also, my boo will be home soon. I'm super nervous...I'm super excited...

"Holier than thou never sits well with me."(c)janey

"OKP spends way too much time looking for ways to be offended." ~legsdiamond


http://twitter.com/jeleighbean

Got offered another job in the same org for $1,000 more per year...ostensibly less stress, but we'll see how that plays out.

I uh...I haven't been in a serious relationship in a while so I feel kinda weird right now. I'm not sure I feel like I deserve to be in a happy relationship...which is some weird psychobabble shit to say, but I'm constantly imagining problems and then I have to fight the self destructive urge to let that stuff seep into reality.

Also, helluva game last night. Go Royals.

when I call him he is doing a lot of rambling and isn't keeps forgetting shit.

He is getting older and I think it a time to have that talk about him living with us in NC.

He keeps talking about now that I have my own family it's cool, he will be fine but I know him. I keep telling him the room is already set up for him but he keeps changing the subject.

I was going to wait until next weekend but I may have to make a visit this weekend to see him.

Something ain't right.

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TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

with my granddaddy.

he had dementia, which transitioned into Alzheimer's. Whatever you have to do, get him there with you!

"Holier than thou never sits well with me."(c)janey

"OKP spends way too much time looking for ways to be offended." ~legsdiamond


http://twitter.com/jeleighbean

On the 17th, the Munchkin and I will be hopping a plane to the Bay Area. So excited! My hubby will be there a few days later. I'm excited. The house is being cleaned out and will be on the market by next weekend. We pushed it back a week because we wanted to get as much done as possible.

My mom already has a buyer for her house and she's signing the papers on her new house this week. Things seem to be rolling right along. She's close enough to my grandparents but far enough away that they don't drive her crazy. 😊

The mother in law is going to Louisiana for the holidays. We will pick her up sometime in January to establish residency for her. Get her to the doctors and all that stuff. Hopefully by March, we can ship her butt back. I know she's going to be with us every other season, but if we could get her permanently to LA, it would make our lives so much easier. I love her, I just don't like her. And I do pity her. I mean she drives me nuts to the point where I don't want to take her anywhere, but then to hear her sit up in her room all day with the only joy she gets when her granddaughter isn't home...is watching game shows on tv. It's a sad way to exist. She could do more, but she chooses not to. It's sad.

I'm moody today.

"We don't make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents" - Bob Ross

"I'm wearing a MSU Tshirt because I went to MSU, you are wearing a UM Tshirt because you went to Walmart!" -unknown.

http://bjsquirrelchronicles.blogspot.com

Tomorrow though. I swear.



"1) God doesn't exist

2) And anyhow he's stupid"
—Philip K. Dick

http://austinato.bandcamp.com

http://www.discogs.com/lists/Favorites-of-2015/222933

"1) God doesn't exist

2) And anyhow he's stupid"
—Philip K. Dick

http://austinato.bandcamp.com

http://www.discogs.com/lists/Favorites-of-2015/222933

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

day job is in a small co-working office

we get several boxes of snacks each month.

I try to watch what I eat and so I'll have a snack a day

this motherfucker gets up every 45 minutes to grab a snack

its easy to see him do it because the office is a small room holding 6 workers


dude eats through every snack delivery. its an amount that should last through the month for all of us but he eats through the shit in a quarter of the time.


hes a needed member and it shows (hes pulling 190k so you know hes needed)

BUUUUUT if I have to hear crunching crispy snack sounds coming from his corner one more week while also missing out on some of the good snacks because I dont eat like a fucking pig.....I am going to slap the bag out of his hand



and to top it all off he keeps saying "i'm on a diet....i'm watching what I eat"

motherfucker, we are watching you eat. there ain't no diet.

***********************************************************
https://soundcloud.com/swageyph/yph-die-with-me

"Get ready..for your blessing..."

***********************************************************
https://soundcloud.com/swageyph/yph-die-with-me

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

"Get ready..for your blessing..."

But for real, dude sounds wack.


__
I don't like the beat anymore because its just a loop. ALC didn't FLIP IT ENOUGH!

Flip it enough? Flip these. Flip off. Go flip some f*cking burgers.(c)Kno

Allied State of the National Electric Beat Treaty Organization (NEBTO)

http://lovelace-media.imgix.net/uploads/249/95925c70-f59f-0132-f3dd-0e18518aac2f.gif?

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https://soundcloud.com/swageyph/yph-die-with-me

this is something the most of us with greedy ass brothers and sisters figured out around age six. fluidj gave you the solution.

other kids in my neighborhood be on the countdown for it & I always looked at them like they stupid, cuz it is.

bad shit happens between me and whoever I happen to be dating.

if im single then its popping and I seem to have relationships start on that day

-gal I been chasing forever finally gave me play and we were together for 3 years
-another gal i was chasing another year also gave me play
-etc
-etc

if I'm already dating someone then really bad shit happens

-a friend tried to force himself on my girl
-i broke up with that girl the next year after going through most epic meltdown I have ever witnessed.
-fights. always a fight.
-etc

***********************************************************
https://soundcloud.com/swageyph/yph-die-with-me

unraveled and ended

it devolved very quickly

i'm disturbed

disturbed by the loss - my love and best friend, with whom I had intended to continue building into a long future and life lived together

disturbed by the radical circumstances of how and why it ended

disturbed by "starting over" and being alone, now, again

pushing on, and overall quiet in my feelings

but disturbed

i feel sick, actually, a pervasive actual nausea

how many times have you had a relationship you thought might be life-long end?

__

fairweather

first one was messed up and i was young so i was torn up but bounced back quickly

second time was way worse and in a way, im still working past it and it's going on 5 years

im very sorry to hear. hard to console someone in a time like this but be strong.

*************************************
like.me
http://tinyurl.com/3z8486u

"if the children are not initiated into the village they will burn it down just to feel its warmth." - african proverb

as mentioned, the radical nature of what's happened and the resulting shock has almost stayed the grief and sadness. it's such a warped twist of events, i never in a million years would have thought.

the project of it all too has just been so exhausting

not to mention just actual exhaustion from you know life beyond all this

but yeah thanks for the concern, i know it's genuine

for six months.

Now, she's trying to be cool with me again, but I actually resent her for not balancing her workout goals and our friendship.

Even when she calls now I have a "Oh, looky looky" feeling about it.

I keep waiting for my pettiness to disappear, but it still hasn't after several months. I figure if she would gets ghost ever time she has a new interest, she's not really someone I can depend on.

Also, all the shit she wants to do now involves working out. That's not social time IMO.

everything is telling me to end it
but I terrified of change

Cogito Ergo Sum Shit

Moving back to the Midwest, but in a new city. First time I have ever moved someplace and didn't know anybody at all. Excited. Nervous about the job. Super nervous about the job. I feel like a lil' kid going to kindergarten, I just want to do well and thrive. We'll see. *shrug*

.
.
.

She was going through a divorce and apparently lost it after a settlement conference.

Nobody really saw it coming.

I feel terrible for her kids. This sucks.

i still blame hip-hop.

.
.
.

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https://soundcloud.com/swageyph/yph-die-with-me

Necessary or appropriate.

But this okp so it's not surprising either.

i still blame hip-hop.

okp opinion or not.

go outside, go an ask some strangers. bet money this opinion is not unique.

appropriate/inappropriate? you sure you using that term correctly?

***********************************************************
https://soundcloud.com/swageyph/yph-die-with-me

***********************************************************
https://soundcloud.com/swageyph/yph-die-with-me

stop being dense

*************************************
like.me
http://tinyurl.com/3z8486u

"if the children are not initiated into the village they will burn it down just to feel its warmth." - african proverb

but for all we know, she may have thought the kids were better off without her.

probably not the case.

but, if you're killing yourself, you're mentally ill and not thinking straight.

selfish also.

>okp opinion or not.
>
>go outside, go an ask some strangers. bet money this opinion
>is not unique.
>
>appropriate/inappropriate? you sure you using that term
>correctly?

It's like saying an autistic person with behavioural issues is inconsiderate of others.

Just IMO though.

I feel some kinda way abt damn near everything right now lol.

But still I rise lol.

Looking into a couple possible opportunities in LA. But also exploring
NY.

We won't make it into '16.

Time to pull the trigger on so much.

Last nite really made my week, how dope was that!

I was worrying too much last week, I got the message loud and clear to
chill, do my work, and everything will be okay & fall into place.

Food vending for the very first time Sunday, I'm trying everything lol.

This is my favorite time of year by far for various reasons. So I'm
basically looking into feeling this way all year.

http://i54.tinypic.com/2j51hj4.jpg

i overspent on Halloween candy AGAIN!

my budget this year was 10 dollars since only 1-3 kids have come the last 2 years. So i go into Big Lots and get 3 bags of some generic bags of candy and 9.16 and im out. Shoprite is next door so i run in their to pick up some snacks. They have a whole aisle dedicated to Halloween so i breeze over to see how much i saved by going to Big Lots. Well i spotted some Reeses cups and before i knew it i had 14 dollars more in candy in my basket. Thats 23 effing dollars for probably 3 to 4 kids that MAY show up. Im always overspending for stuff like that.