day job is in a small co-working office

we get several boxes of snacks each month.

I try to watch what I eat and so I'll have a snack a day

this motherfucker gets up every 45 minutes to grab a snack

its easy to see him do it because the office is a small room holding 6 workers


dude eats through every snack delivery. its an amount that should last through the month for all of us but he eats through the shit in a quarter of the time.


hes a needed member and it shows (hes pulling 190k so you know hes needed)

BUUUUUT if I have to hear crunching crispy snack sounds coming from his corner one more week while also missing out on some of the good snacks because I dont eat like a fucking pig.....I am going to slap the bag out of his hand



and to top it all off he keeps saying "i'm on a diet....i'm watching what I eat"

motherfucker, we are watching you eat. there ain't no diet.